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How to Move on With Life When You Are Hurting
Learn how to acknowledge your emotional pain, and then move forward.
Date: 1/9/2011 12:14:36 PM ( 28 mon ) ... viewed 545 times I’ve discussed this thought in previous articles, but this time I’ll state it in the form of an affirmation: “There is a reason of greater good for everything that happens.”
Acknowledging that there is a greater good doesn’t necessarily soften the impact or subdue the suffering. But it does give meaning to our pain and offers us the prospect of a positive outcome. It also serves to open our eyes, look for the deeper meaning, and recognize the signs of change as they appear.
We’ve all experienced victimization. That does not mean we have to live with a victim mentality, choosing to live life wallowing in our own misery and blaming others. When we can trust that our pain will ultimately be beneficial in some way, the victim mentality, which is self-defeating behavior, is obliterated.
Though it is beneficial to think positively, we must remember that we are human beings with emotions. If we move through painful challenges by blocking our true feelings, never dealing with them, and pretending we’re fine, the hurt builds up inside and eventually wreaks havoc on us. Our feelings should always be acknowledged, felt, and accepted. It’s okay to feel sad when we’re sad. Dwelling on our suffering and blaming circumstance is entirely different. That is self-defeating.
So when life throws you one of its curveballs, indulge yourself. Allow yourself to suffer for the fixed duration of your choosing; preferably no longer than three days. Let me make it clear that none of this applies when grieving the loss of a loved one. One cannot and should not put a time limit on the natural stages of the grief recovery process.
Begin planning your pity party by deciding how many days you will immerse yourself in misery. Then stock up on Ben and Jerry’s and/or whatever other comfort foods you desire. Put on your most comfortable clothes–you know, the ones you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in public. Choose wisely–you will be wearing these clothes and sleeping in them non-stop during this timespan. Close the shades, crawl under the covers, and cry to your heart’s content. Punch a pillow as often as needed.
When your pity party time is up, be entirely resolved to get back to productive living. Take steps to gradually move forward in your life. Allow set-backs and be kind to yourself when they happen. Seek therapy if needed. Repeat the affirmation “There is a reason of greater good for everything that happens” and believe it.
One thing we can always count on…everything changes.
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