... going to start eating again soon, and worried about it.

Date:   11/29/2005 1:26:28 AM ( 19 y ago)

On the one hand, I'm feeling very skinny, and like that gives me permission to have a lot of cheat foods, but of course that would be very, very bad. On the other hand, I feel like I'm so close right now to being able to start eating, and I'm so excited about the foods I'll be able to start eating... For example, I want to make soup from veggie broth and cauliflower, puree, then add braised mushrooms (no oil in this process yet, although I'd normally sautee and add some cream when on low carb, but that might be a bit hard to digest right now...). And then this new idea I've had that I'm SO excited about and sounds so decadent, is little "sandwiches" of cucumber and avocado. Is that too rich for coming off the fast?
I'm scared to death about gaining back weight. ::: sigh ::: I'd really some support in the process of coming off the fast. Please, someone email if you're interested in going through this together. I'm fine with gaining 5 pounds, that's the buffer I want to build in for myself. I hope that the weight gain is just on the scale, from reintroducing food into the digestive system, not actually fattening up again. ::: worry :::
I'm really worried, can you tell yet?
But I know I have to start eating again soon. I want to go until I fit into the skinniest jeans I have, but for some reason the weight is dropping off quite fast now, and I may be there soon. I'm tired of fasting, can't wait to eat, but scared of eating at the same time. Ick, that sounds so messed up. I want to enjoy food. I don't mind having limitations on what and how much I can eat, but if I can eat a low carb diet, I will be able to have SO many delicious foods. Oh... I'd be so happy.
I hope and pray that my body will go along with this.
A part of me feels like I should be going vegan or raw. It seems more clean. But on the other hand, I have experience with low carb and it seems safer to me. I know that on low carb I can eat until I'm full, eat a lot of foods I love and at least not gain weight, that is at my higher weight. What I worry about is what is going to happen at this lower weight.
Oh well, I'll just have to see. I will just have to set an action level at five pounds above what I was and put in a fasting day if need be if I threaten to go above it. I'm just scared that the weight fluctuations may be crazy and really frightening and disconcerting to me.

 

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