I feel more hope today than I have in a long time.

Date:   4/8/2006 4:37:07 PM ( 18 y ago)

I have been thinking about shutting down this blog because so much of my journaling seems so negative. But, finally, I can report a pretty good day. I still have considerable pain, but with a couple of Ibuprofen I can deal with it, yesterday, even the mildly narcotic Ultram did not touch the pain. I went to therapy this morning for a two hour session of diathermy, ultrasound and electro-acupuncture. It all went well, but the doctor warned me to continue to take it easy, rest, do neck stretches and take minerals. So, I'm still on medical leave for now.

After therapy I had to stop at Walmart for some dog food. I was completely out. Yesterday I could not even get out of the car, my left leg was in spasms and would not let me stand on it. I had to feed the puppies and it seems like broccoli is the only food I have on hand. Well, I wound up stopping at Sonic and buying the puppies kid's meals. Yes, I fed my little dogs burgers and fries. They loved it, but for their health and the health of my bank account, I doubt if that will happen again. I had to use Walmart's wheelchair for shopping and ask for help, but it was still nice getting out and doing something normal.

When I got home I listened to a CD by Louise Hay on Anger Releasing. This contains a visualization she leads to allow people to slowly release long pent up anger; and it is remarkable. I cried and cried, but felt so much better when it was over. I recommend that anyone who has issues with anger, especially long held anger get this CD and work with it. Just one session helped me, although I am sure I'll be repeating it many times. I found a common thread during the visualization that most of the objects of my anger had made me feel rejected, unloved, or inferior. This gives me a lot more insight on the emotional issues I need to work on in this healing process. By the way, I bought this CD through Amazon.com, I think Walmart.com may also carry it. Both sources have a lot of material by Louise Hay.

I had never heard of Louise Hay until a few weeks ago. I had to wait for therapy one day and went to the waiting room. Doc. has a wonderful library of alternative medicine books in addition to the usual array of old magazines. The Hay book "Heal
Your Body" that deals with metaphysical reasons behind common ailments was on top of the table, I had never seen it there before.I thumbed through the book until I found back pain and it resonated at once. The emotional issues behind the pain sounded like she was writing about my life alone. As soon as I got home I ordered the book. That night I had an E-mail from Invincible, while I have always enjoyed reading her posts and had great respect for her knowledge, we had never corresponded. Another Curezoner, Rick60, thought she could help me. I found out that among Maya's many skills and talents was that she was a teacher of Louise Hay's methods. Rick wrote that he had a Hay book near his computer as he was writing. All of this was too much to be a mere coincidence. Maya (Invincible) was the one who suggested the anger releasing CD and once again I ordered it at once because everything seemed to be coming together. I have also ordered her "You Can Heal Your Life" book and workbook.

So, today ends on a more positive note. I still cannot walk and that worries me, but I feel more hope today than I have for a long time.

 

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