emotional trauma, natural deodorant, and more

Date:   4/18/2006 2:51:14 AM ( 18 y ago)

Peace:
Well, today is day 16 of the fast. Well, actually the day really isn't here yet for me...it's 2:16 in the morning. I have a lot of stuff on my mind. I'm still in constant refinement. During my lunch break at work I decided to go to Pier 1 to check out some stuff for the house. After about 20 minutes I had to go back to the car and sit down. I had a miscarriage last February (2005)and I've noticed that each time I fast I get uncomfortable pain in my side toward the fast's end. Now, I had a natural miscarriage and I know that everything is gone. I'm still carrying a lot of emotional pain though. The relationship I was in at the time was a living hell. I NEVER thought that I would put up with so much s*%t b.u.t I did...and I learned. I'm feeling a lot more mentally free now...though apparently some of the mental trauma is still lodged in me manifesting itself as physical trauma. I've decided not to work out until the fast is over.

I am kinda tired of the fast now. I went to a raw food restaurant this weekend to buy some coconut water and my goodness they had a lot of new snacks for sale. I want a raw sandwich sooooo bad! But in a world of instant gratification, I'm learning that patience is indeed a virtue. I don't need a sandwich anyway. It has almonds in it and that may be a little bit too harsh for my body right now.

I leave for the Islands tomorrow...excited about that b.u.t I haven't even packed. I'm going shopping today to buy a few things. I'm gonna save tons of money on this trip since I won't be eating for the first 5 days. Willfully, my pain will have subsided by the time I get on the plane because I love to do a lot of walking during Island trips. If the pain hasn't gone away, I'll probably end the fast by eating some soft fruit...or am I saying that because I'm just tired of fasting?

Hey, I forgot to mention: I use all natural deodorant and before the fast, it had "stopped working." I had to carry it in my purse, wash under my arms at least once a day, and put more on. At about the 11th day of this juice fast I noticed that I only have to put deodorant on once a day. The change may have happened sooner but I didn't notice. I have 2 versions of my deodorant -sports and regular. Now, I'm comfortable just wearing the regular. I know I had been eating cooked foods before the fast b.u.t I didn't know it had such an effect on my chemistry because I was eating a lot of raw foods too.

Another thing, boy am I glad I'm not fasting to lose weight because though I don't get on the scale, I look like I've only dropped about 7-10 pounds. I feel good though. Ready to begin life anew. I'm gonna treat myself to something nice today.

 

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