hmph.

Date:   9/11/2006 9:27:02 PM ( 18 y ago)

But I was too big a mess to get there today for johrei. HIGHLY disturbed. Hard to be in my own skin, to say the least. I have a bit over a year of sobriety after years of addiction, so I've already been feeling a lot of odd new physiological stuff. The knife felt sharper today. I broke down bawling in a park, though again, everything physically looks a million times crisper and cleaner. I'm gonna get my period soon, so that's probably part of why I feel psychotic. Just realized this now. I don't know what other people experience when they get Johrei. They are all very pleasant at the center. I rarely feel pleasant even though I may be a delight to have around. It was recommended that I go back daily. I don't know how anyone could endure these sort of purification reactions daily. maybe I'll make it there tomorrow, we'll see. I prefer not to feel like I'm on fire day upon day.

 

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