Healing through art.

Date:   12/23/2006 9:32:28 AM ( 18 y ago)

For me, one of the most notable aspects of the healing qualities of practicing a form of art was stepping out of the status of "abuse victim" and into the status of "abuse survivor."

I have practiced art my whole life, from as far back as I can remember.  Of course, I went to college to pursue knowledge in art and its many forms, but I quickly gave it up after meeting the Thing that I would marry.  Almost instantly, I found myself relinquishing friends, interests, and my own personality as a result of my codependancy.  During my union with this man, he purchased a few oil paints, brushes, and a canvas (as a reward, of course) and said, "I bought you the supplies, now, paint something."  Of course, it takes a half hour just to set up to paint and he refused to "babysit" our children so that I could focus on a project!  Can anyone please explain how a parent can "babysit" their own children?  Suffice it to say, I never even unwrapped the canvas, as I wasn't allowed (yes, allowed) uninterrupted time to myself, for over 14 years. 

The point that I'm getting at, here, is that I survived the years of abuse through my love of art, my spiritual beliefs (which he attempted to dictate, as well), and sheer force of will.  Though there is an enormous amount of information that could be relayed in this story, the message is:  find that interest or activity that brings peace, calm, and inner stillness.  Without my endeavor to express myself through artistic means, I surely would have lost my mind, years ago.  Still, some say that it's debatable that I didn't!

That spark that I was blessed with never failed.  I am able to wake up each morning and pronounce it as a beautiful thing.  I fnd beauty in rain, fog, wind, and the deepest dark of night.  I am grateful that I fought and won the battle of "being a victim" and that the spark has been fanned into a lifestyle, for me.  Spending time rendering images that I either witness or retain in my mind is a delightful, welcome challenge!  The result of meeting the challenge is complete satisfaction of having tried something new, and serves to spur me on to seek more, and more knowledge.

For those people who awaken full of angst, anger, rage, dismay, or hoplessness:  there is extraordinary beauty out there.  Check out:  www.hubblesite.org!  Look at the photo images of the nebulae!  How could I deny the existence of something greater than my Self after absorbing the indescribable palette of the Universe?

The next project is a large rendering of a bold, mountain stream in the Wilds of Pennsylvania!  The next clay project is a set of dinnerware for my brother.  I'm pleased to be alive, a survivor, and flat-out in love with art!

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