He's married with children. They seem very very close at work, always talking, chatting etc. She practically lives in his office. They disappear together in "the back" an area not many workers go at a particular time in the night. Then they reappear. You would think these people would have sense enough to be discreet. Unless one or the other is trying to make someone (on the outside) jealous. Don't see them ever taking break together though, nor do they both appear to take the Same days off but they are mighty close when they're at work. When I tried to bring this up to another coworker friend, she appeared tight lipped. I just wanted to tell because I'm tired of the blatant favoritism and inappropriate type behavior. Besides, how can it get corrected if it's never addressed?
Need more information. Also how do you know if that is true. Because most of the times its just rumors. People do tend to gossip to much and blow things out of proportion at the workplace. Unless you heard it from the person themselves otherwise its not true. He said she said stuff. Besides other people's business is their business, What does that got to do with you?
You bring up a very interesting point. I don't know if I could actually pinpoint an "N" personality but let me give some characteristics and maybe you can help me out. This supervisor is mercurial. He appears to be a liar. He goes to church every Sunday. He only really talks to his race of people kinda shutting out other races. He has a proud type personality. I remember when he got promoted to this position a few years back and it seemed to go to his head. He just over the past year or so got close with this woman. I don't remember them being this close a few years back. It appears he just woke up one morning and decided to "pursue" this woman. All I know is, I'm extremely introspective, observant and nosey. When he first started "getting close" with her she started to change her appearance. Her hairstyle got alot better and more makeup. She also appears to get agitated with any other woman who goes in his office and stays for more than a few minutes. When they had a party at the office, he sat next to her. What does this sound like to you? When was the last time you heard of a married man being just friends like that with a single woman he's only been knowing a few short years?
"All I know is, I'm extremely introspective, observant and nosey."
This may sound a little harsh, but you opened the door on this issue. The operative word, here is: nosey. What would be the positive benefit by ratting this person out? People make choices, every day, that are stupid, self-motivated, and thoughtless. Is this a shame? Of course, it is - but, we're flawed human beings and "allowed" to make dumb decisions. Is this something over which you believe you have some control? Absolutely not - the only person over which you have control is yourself, period. So what if this woman is paying more attention to her appearance? Is that a bad thing? Is there something that may be lacking in her personal life that may be causing her to make a stupid decision? Are you attempting to stand as judge and jury of another human being as if you haven't made dumb choices, yourself? So what if the boss-man in question attends church and has a wife and children? You have no business putting your nose in places that do not concern you, personally.
Sounds to me as if you're placing your focus on someone else's activities, rather than attending to your own business. This focus of yours will affect your ability to perform your job effectively and, eventually, begin to consume your personal life. Hence, you'll get some sort of "warning" or engage in some sort of discussion with this very person - who is YOUR boss - and, you'll harbor even more resentment against this person.......the thinking behind this might follow the lines of, "Well, he can get away with anything, where does he get off telling me that I'm not doing my job?" As long as his activities are not affecting you, personally, or affecting how the business is being run, it's none of your business. If, indeed, his activities begin affecting the business, it will all come out in the wash, and it is not your business to "blow the whistle" on anyone. As an aside, here, "blowing the whislte" on someone in a business/corporate environment has to do with how their decisions and choices affect the integrity of the business and the public, at large - NOT in reference to whether or not their choices offend you. As for it affecting you, personally, you also have choices: you can leave your positition and find another place of employment.
Nothing in this world is perfect - that includes workplaces, bosses, coworkers, spouses, etc. Mind your own business and attend to fulfilling your own job description and leave the judgement and vengeance to kharma. Otherwise, you would be engaging in a very nasty little pasttime of causing trouble for the sake of your own agenda. By the way, my spouse is friends with single women and I have absolutely no qualms about it, whatsoever - that's what comes from self-confidence and a relationship that is based upon trust, honesty, and respect.
this i all well know about coming out in the wash and ya da ya da ya. it does affect my job because of the favoritism and affecting his ability to make good decisions. i have decided to whistle blow but i'm waiting for the right time.
I have no idea why anyone would ask for advice and not take it. I think maybe you were just looking for someone who might agree with your bad thought process. Every reply I have seen either has advised you against such measures or asked for more information as it really is none of your business. Go ahead, but be prepared to find a new job.
I do take advice. I just feel what's right is right. If you see someone on the job stealing, for instance, turning the other cheek is not an option. I just wanted opinions. I believe the vast majority of American people are all too willing to not get involved and turn the other cheek. That is why crime is the highest here as well.
Since when is someone else's business your business, especially if that other person is not stealing from you directly? And I don't mean symbolically "stealing" (by percieved favoritism, as if favoritism is absent otherwise), but really taking something that is your personal property. Did they steal your condoms? Did they have sex in your car and left a mess inside? Are your paychecks lowered because when they go together all they do is conspire how to steal your salary?
If one of them was your spouse, I would understand your interest in their affair. But as it stands, they are minding their business, and you are trying to make it your business.
What they are doing deserves a lot less criticism then what you are doing. I have no respect for your type of people. You will invent any possible excuse just to turn attention to someone else. In that situation, I must ask: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO HIDE BY TURNING THE SPOTLIGHT ON TO OTHERS? Are you also cheating? Did you try to get close to that supervisor or that woman but was rejected? Or were you having an affair with previous supervisor and now you are out of favor with the new one? Are you stealing but don't want to admit it?
You are certainly doing one of these things, otherwise you'd never be interested in others people business. You can try to deny it all you want, I just happen to know that the person who is most nosey has the most skeletons in their closet. If you weren't their type, you wouldn't be interested in what they were doing.
In other words you take advice whenever someone gives advice that you already have decided on. Excellent thinking. I highly advise you have another job lined up before
you act so foolishly.
As someone who is also a favorite of
my friend's husband, and someone who
has gone on trips with him, camping,
and who others have said things about
very similar to what you are professing
as YOUR perception of the situation you
are looking at, I am not going to say
that your perceptions are wrong, but
that they could be. Certainly, my friend
who begged me to go with her husband on
camping trips, since she hates to camp,
laughed heartily when her friends came to
her to "blow the whistle" on my seemingly
"too chummy" relationship with her husband.
She knew me and her husband well enough to
KNOW that we were never being inappropriate.
Unless you are walking into a back room
and finding your boss flagrante delicto, I
am assuming that YOU are assuming way more
than you have any authority to assume.
By your own admission, you claim you are
nosey, like it is a badge of honor. Best
be mindful of where you stick your nose as
you could find it stuck~!
I agree with the others who are saying
it will all come out in the wash. You will
gain nothing in "helping" others fall on
their sword if indeed that is what they
deserve. From the info you have shared it
just does not seem you know anything for
sure except that YOU are discomforted by
a relationship your boss is having with a
co-worker. For now, it seems as if YOU have
the problem. Leave them alone...
What do you understand? That you have no business putting your focus onto the actions of someone else? That you need to attend to your own professional development? That you are putting way too much time, energy, and thought into the actions of someone else who isn't causing you personal issues? That you just can't stand to focus your attention on developing an emotionally healthy self and would rather cause bad kharma for someone else?
Don't ever ask for advice and then pretend to be outraged when it isn't what you want to read.....
...but don't be surprised when you find out you've got it all wrong. You might feel like we're being harsh to you, or nasty or maybe both.
There really isn't any good excuse to do it. It's easy to poke holes in your story (which is nothing more than a collection of assumptions and rumors) and if you're wrong you will not only be fired but also look ridiculous in the process.
You embrace your bad qualities like they're things to be proud of, so ofcourse that makes me wonder if you really are proud of who you are. I think that deep inside, you're very unsure of yourself and so determined to "do the right thing" that you've blinded yourself. You are so hell bent on telling on these people that it makes me wonder if it's a ploy to get negative attention off your back for once.
Maybe you had a shitty childhood. Maybe your parents kept putting you down. Maybe that's why you talk so openly about your faults, because you've heard people say it about you so many times you've begun to believe them and have accepted yourself for "the failure" that you are.
Why not concentrate on becoming a happy person by making other people happy? If making someone else miserable is the only way you can feel good about yourself, you've gotten in deep and it's time to dig yourself out of that hole.
Explaining away like you do means your mind can't handle facing the truth. You might not be doing that on purpose, it could be a defense meganism rooted so deeply you use it on every situation.
You've got a long way ahead of you, but if you realize what's really the underlying reason for your behavior, you're already one step out of the darkness.
Was YOUR husband stolen??
Is that what this is about??
I am into monogamy myself and
trust myself. My boyfriend also
trusted me to go camping with my
friend's husband. We had a wonderful
time and when we arrived back home,
my friend's husband told me he
enjoyed my company and we should
do it more often. I did not take
it, nor did he mean it to be
any sexual overture. His wife
was thrilled we had a good time.
Perhaps you think it is inappropriate
to have anything but same-sex
friendships??
I have many men friends. Growing up
with brothers, the only girl, I have
always appreciated the friendship of
men and enjoyed it. My best friend is
a man, one I have never had an intimate
relationship with either. When my
daughter was born, he left his family
for a week and came to stay with us to
cook and clean. My husband was thrilled
and his wife was also fine with it.
Why, because we all trusted each other.
I suppose this would be considered an
alternative relationship for many, but
for me and my family, it was all normal.
I feel sorry for you if you do not have
this level of peace in your relationships
in your life.
There is also an old adage which comes
to mind relative to this topic~~it says
that those who look behind doors have
stood behind them....
Home
What do you all think about whistleblowing? 
Re: Mind your own business15 by Zoebess
5 year
2,662
Re: following an example 
