My husband was not stolen. I was saying that from your post where you were saying someone begged you to take their husband or something like that on a camping trip so they could get the husband out of their hair. Sounds to me like the other one is fooling around and want the husband out of sight thats why they chose to beg. Or they're trying to set their husband up so he can cheat and they can divorce him and get the alimony payments. What you all fail to realize is that people cannot be trusted. I don't care how good the friendship is, you can't trust women with men. They will try to sleep with them at any chance.
That is waaaay off base. First, I NEVER ever said
my friend wanted her husband out of her hair. You
would never find me saying that because it is not
the truth of their relationship. They are very close,
and after decades, still madly in love. However,
my friend would never go camping and I love to camp.
I enjoy it enough, her husband has put a tent up
for me in our yard just so I can have a place to go
hang out, nap, read, and listen to the wind in the
trees. It was a perfect invitation that he and I go
camping when an occasion arose where it combined
a music festival, camping and travel. Obviously, YOU
do not trust yourself. I trust myself and that is
why women feel comfortable allowing their husbands
or boyfriends to have friendships with me. When I
was married, I never once cheated on my husband in
thought or deed. My BF enjoys the same loyalty. My
friend also has many many male friends since she is
in a business where she is constantly in contact with
them. Still, when one or the other is away, they are
constantly calling each other and cooing sweet some-
things on the phone. There is zero chance that either
of them would cheat on each other since they are so
happy together.
I live in one of my friend's homes and have for years.
Once a month or so, her husband comes and does maintenance
here. Never once has there ever been a single iota of
inappropriate behavior on either of our parts. Over the
years, the three of us have become closer and my friend
considers me as a sister. I would NEVER do anything to
betray either of them or our friendship.
I do feel sorry for you that you do not have this
kind of friendship and loyalty in your life. When
you learn to trust yourself and others, there is so
much potential for freedom and fun and love to be
found in your relationships.
This is not to say that I am insensitive to the
concerns at times of others. I am. One of my
other friends is also a man. He came over every
Friday for a year to teach my husband and I how
to use a computer, with his wife's blessing. For
his efforts we bought him lunch. Often my husband
had to go back to work so it would just be my friend
and I. Once we were eating at a favorite restaurant
and his brother-in-law happened to come in with a
group of his co-workers. He noticed us right away
but was not comfortable enough to speak. When we
had finished our meal, I made sure my friend took
me and introduced me to his brother-in-law so that
even though the brother-in-law may not have totally
understood, if rumors & whispers got back to his wife,
we both knew she would have a good laugh.
Another situation which highlights the trust I have
been fortunate to enjoy was that one of my best
friends from college married someone who loved to
climb mountains. She hated it and she also begged
me to go with him since she knew I loved to do that
also. The first year, she had to send me a ticket
to convince me to come. We had a blast and it thrilled
her that he was not alone and also having fun. A
couple of times a year, we would get together for a
few weeks and go climbing. When we both became parents,
I would take my daughter, and he would bring his son.
I no longer climb but the families are still close and
the better for the history and the memories of great
times together.
Once you learn to trust yourself, perhaps you will
attract trustworthy people around you. While there
are women & men who will betray you, there are also
many more who will not. I suppose I have been very
lucky and have reaped over and over the rewards of
loyalty and loving friendships.
I wish you success in achieving the trust in yourself
and others you seek.
I would guess yes, you are more prolific than most, in all incarnations, so maybe you do not have time for it- and ofcourse you have the moderating responsibilities which sucks up time
But I think you should reread this one
You have a tone when your buttons are pushed that really isn't very moderate, nor is the advice very general not helpful(?) its more like a diatribe, or something that has you irritated and now the poster is gonna get whatfor and a bagful of whoop ass
The problem with that is your reactions create equal and opposite reactions
If you are referring to a supervisor using their position to persuade an employee to have sex with them in order to keep their job or get a promotion or raise, that is illegal. If the employee feels threatend by that behavior you could encourage the employee to report it. If it is a mutual attraction then that is their business.
Indeed, the legal term for such actions is called, "sexual harassment," and can carry extraordinary legal/civil ramifications. The original poster has only managed to provide hints and allegations of an affair that cannot be supported (document, document, document), and it's obvious, from the language in the posts, that the original poster is harboring jealousy, rage, and a baseless sense of vengeance in connection with the supervisor-in-question.
I want to thank you all for your advice. Yet after reading it I feel that most of you tend to go the way the majority goes. If one or two people say it's wrong then everyone says it. Now if some were saying go for it, then the rest would follow. You all have to realize that bad behavior in the workplace needs to be exposed. If I were doing something bad like sleeping on the job, since it's not bothering others why should I be reported? If you tell me not to report,why shouldn't they mind their own business and not report me since my sleeping does not bother them.
...you sure are hypocritical, now insinuating
that WE are exhibiting bad behavior by
seeming to agree with each other that you
may have ulterior motives in "blowing the
whistle" on your boss for spending time with
a co-worker behind closed doors.
Obviously you have been fishing for
accolades on your self-righteousness and
NOT our opinions or advice. Well, I will not
stand still to be your whipping-boy(girl) and
accept your criticism since it is not deserved.
Likewise, I still will profess my opinion that
your scrutiny of your boss is out-of-order at the
workplace. What if HE was sleeping?? Do you not
imagine that disapproval from his supervisors
would find him without your help?? You have
called him a liar and a racist. If I were your
boss, you'd be pink slip'd tomorrow for posting
on a world-wide forum those innuendos and
allegations. Who needs people like you planting
rumors and seeds of discord and discomfort in
the workplace. They speak to your values and
certainly would not stand in a court of law based
solely on what you have offered here as proof of
your boss's wrong-doing. How do you KNOW what
you say is the truth? Isn't it only what you
think and have conjectured based on what you
are IMAGINING is happening?
If YOU were sleeping on the job and I saw you,
I would figure that the people who I might run
and tattle to that you were sleeping would also
be on top of the situation and would eventually
find you sleeping themselves. Honestly, you seem
to to have an agenda and are 'ellbent on finding
anything to support your contentions. You have
made it a goal to collect evidence of why you
hate your boss.
Anyway, none of what we think or say makes a
whole lot of difference. You asked, we said, you
did not like it. My life goes on and its time to
go out and watch the sun rise.
Well said, Zoe. The original poster was obviously seeking justification for their tendencies to be a busybody - this is apparent with the accusation that, if two respondants offer similar responses, then a crowd will follow! What self-serving tripe! LOL A person asks for opinions and then has the gall to make sweeping accusations because they didn't find the responses that they were hoping for (or, expecting). I can't even imagine how empty their personal life must be...
To the original poster: you just go ahead and behave like a sullen child, and keep feeding your jealous, nosey monkey! Entertaining yourself with prying into the business of other human beings will take you down a long, lonely, dark path in Life. So, find whatever enjoyment you can glean from your inappropriate preoccupations and have a happy life, if you can!
Soulsurvivor, I remember you from waaaaay back with verbal, un civil (sp)disagreements with me. I don't have time. Maybe you should ignore me and stop responding to my posts. That's what I think. We can't go thru this back and forth like in the past. Let's stop. You appear to follow me around. Who needs that. I'm debating whether or not I will have to bypass your future responses. Agitation comes with incidences of you repeating yourself.
So what you're telling me is Soulsurvivor can't speak for himself. He is supposedly a man, bearded one at that, so why can't he speak up for himself. Is he a wimp?
"Soulsurvivor, I remember you from waaaaay back with verbal, un civil (sp)disagreements with me. I don't have time. Maybe you should ignore me and stop responding to my posts. That's what I think. We can't go thru this back and forth like in the past. Let's stop. You appear to follow me around. Who needs that. I'm debating whether or not I will have to bypass your future responses. Agitation comes with incidences of you repeating yourself."
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!! Oh, please.........following you around? Don't flatter yourself. You're making posts as an anonymous number, silly person! As for making a choice to "bypass" my posts? Do you honestly believe that I would even care what you choose to do, or not do?
You asked for responses and you got them. Now.......move along #'s......you've grown tiresome.
I have not stated anywhere that you are behaving badly. I have clearly stated bad behavior in my own workplace. There is no need to put words in my mouth to get people to bash me more than what they already have. (Zoebess)
You have insinuated that we are using
poor judgment and exhibiting "herd
mentality". (bad behavior)
I am also not getting people to bash
you either. I responded to your post
specifically since your own suppositions
reminded me of being on the receiving
end of a rumor mill in overdrive when
I went on a trip with my friend's
husband and people were foaming at the
mouth to make a mountain out of a mole
hill. I do not think it was anyone's
business, and since you asked, I do
not think it is any of your business
to involve yourself in speculating on
your boss's relationship with this
woman, especially when you have no
proof. You calling him a liar and a
racist made me wince. I imagine you
will pursue this matter for better or
worse, but if you are wrong, do not
expect people to pat you on the back
for all the doubts you are raising.
There is no need to take all this personally. Yes I did mention something to that affect (herd behavior). Don't let this offend you. I didn't say that herd behavior was bad behavior I just said that it was common behavior and maybe people needed to take more of a stand. People will stand up for what they want and I accept that. I'm not going to try to change anyone's mind. But I do like getting advice from civil people whether it disagrees with my own opinions or not.
LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!! That was truly funny. My family members use to use that alot but not about me it was used to describe others. It is good to be able to get a good laugh. Also remember that I don't do "pat's on the back". So I won't be expecting that. I know how to pat my own back.
(This thread seemed to have split, so that's why I'm posting my reply here too)
..but don't be surprised when you find out you've got it all wrong. You might feel like we're being harsh to you, or nasty or maybe both.
There really isn't any good excuse to do it. It's easy to poke holes in your story (which is nothing more than a collection of assumptions and rumors) and if you're wrong you will not only be fired but also look ridiculous in the process.
You embrace your bad qualities like they're things to be proud of, so ofcourse that makes me wonder if you really are proud of who you are. I think that deep inside, you're very unsure of yourself and so determined to "do the right thing" that you've blinded yourself. You are so hell bent on telling on these people that it makes me wonder if it's a ploy to get negative attention off your back for once.
Maybe you had a shitty childhood. Maybe your parents kept putting you down. Maybe that's why you talk so openly about your faults, because you've heard people say it about you so many times you've begun to believe them and have accepted yourself for "the failure" that you are.
Why not concentrate on becoming a happy person by making other people happy? If making someone else miserable is the only way you can feel good about yourself, you've gotten in deep and it's time to dig yourself out of that hole.
Explaining away like you do means your mind can't handle facing the truth. You might not be doing that on purpose, it could be a defense meganism rooted so deeply you use it on every situation.
You've got a long way ahead of you, but if you realize what's really the underlying reason for your behavior, you're already one step out of the darkness.
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What do you all think about whistleblowing? 
Re: Mind your own business15 by Zoebess
5 year
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Re: following an example 
