My husband and I have some concerns regarding one of our grandchildren. He is two and a half and has some behaviors that seem to be signs of autisum, but not all. Since he was a baby, he sometimes seemed detached. Yes, he would make eye contact with you, smile and squirm excitedly but not for long. However, he also engaged in repetitive motion behaviors---rocking back and forth when on his stomach. Presently, he likes to rock back and forth when seated and when in his toddler bed, he rocks back and forth quite a bit. Yet, when you talk to him, he makes direct eye contact and he enjoys cuddling and hugging. His speech, however, isn't where it should be. He says a few intelligible words and he does try to communicate---he'll look at you and babble. To me, it seems like he is trying to say something.
Our daughter and son-in-law don't seem to be all that concerned with his behavior. They don't have health insurance so I think that when he goes to the doctor, the doctor gives them the bum's rush.
Admittedly, we don't see them everyday as they are on the other side of the country. In the past, my husband expressed concern about our grandson's behavior but again, our daughter and son-in-law didn't seem concerned.
As the grandparents, what, if anything, can we do? I worry that if he does have a problem he's losing out on valuable time when it comes to intervention. On top of that, my husband vacillates when we discuss this subject. Sometimes, he says he wishes we could get them to take the child to a therapist for evaluation with us offering to pay. Other times, he says don't push things because we could damage the relationship we have with our daughter. So...I'm at a loss. While we could help by paying for an initial visit to a therapist, we just don't have the funds for several visits because my husband was out of work for 10 months over a year ago so our savings took a hit.
In the past, without lecturing her, we've sent her articles on child development (for example: when and how to start feeding babies solid foods, what is normal where speech development is concerned). We would ask her first if she would like to be sent the articles. So...should I print up articles on autism and ask her if she wants to see them? I'm hesitant to bring it up because when I mentioned to her that next time they saw the doctor, she should bring up the child's behaviors, she got annoyed at me.
I feel so helpless. We're so far away and concerned yet we're the grandparents, not the parents. Thus I would appreciate any advice. Thank you!
If they aren't going to listen, then they aren't. You've vocalized concerns and it's up to them as parents to do something if they feel it's true or has merit. I do understand I have 4 grandchildren. I also have a child with autism. He doesn't sound as though it's autism, but definitely a speech delay.
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Is this something that should cause concern? And should I intervene? 
