Have you ever had a burning resentment that doesn't let you sleep and give you a moments peace?
You know its not doing you any good, you want to let it go but can't?
Did you know that the right side of the brain can't distinguish between others and yourself?
When you have a resentment your right brain senses the resentment against yourself.
So in the process of forgiveness you need to forgive yourself and take 100% of the responsibility for your resentments.
In order to coordinate the left and right hemispheres of the brain simply cross your arms and alternately tap on your forearms or shoulders.
Vocally reciting while tapping using phrases such as "I choose to forgive_________ and I accept myself as I am", can break the grip of unforgiveness over your life.
About half of the time its just that simple.
Also I use Ho'oponopono, when the simple above remedy is not helping.
good post! i don't think enough people have *ever* considered this--that one harms oneself instantly and for "always", so long as, and while one's believing that self and others are separate. naturally, all that is an illusion...
It's so obvious! Yet, the simple is the opposite - always, of what the world teaches.
I find ho-oponopono to be wondrously healing, as well. And the blessings are equally for self and any perceived other. People miss so much grace and goodness, it's really heart-breaking, holding onto blame or any unresolved pains or ideas of same.
Another thing people don't think of is self-forgiveness. Often there's forgiveness of all others, and a real wish to be in union, and yet, the self-recrimination is sent deeper, and is that much harder to find.
That reminds me of one of my personal experiences with forgiveness. At
about age 13 my 25 year old sister-in-law (who I related to more as a sister
than an in-law) falsely accused me of sexually molesting her 5 year old
daughter. At that time my SIL was divorced for about a year from my
brother who was serving in the Navy in the Pacific in WWII, and his daughters -
the 5 year old and a 3 year old, were living with my parents and myself because
my brother had gained custody of them in the divorce. The accusation was
made in about 5 pages of a hand written note that was personally delivered to my
father, who after reading it in explicit but false detail handed it to me to
read. I was devastated, and I was angry and hateful. My dad didn't
believe the charges, my mother did. My nieces continued to live with us
until about two or three years later when my brother returned home after the war
and remarried, but my hate never diminished.
In those days after the accusations I had a difficult time getting to sleep
but I would use that period of time to think up a new way I could kill my
sister-in-law, every night for eons. If I couldn't think of a new way to
kill her, I'd just kill her in one of my previously thought up torturous
ways. During this time I suspected that my mother and all my extended
family hated me for what I "had done" and I withdrew into myself and
created a facade of a brick wall that I thought that no one could
penetrate. I also refrained from making friends - particularly females
during this time. I eventually served my own military service, did find a
woman that I married and began a family. After many, many life experiences
and creating a career at about age 35, I had some thoughts out of the blue one
day. I recognized that hating my SIL was irrational and I instantly
forgave her and it felt as if a load had been lifted from my shoulders.
Fast forward to more than 50 years after my SIL had falsely accused me after
I had learned and been practicing meditation and during those meditations
learned to really forgiver her - and myself, which I did over time. It was
not a one day occurrence. From my niece (the younger one, the one I'd been
accused of molesting died after creating a family of 5 children) I got the
address of my SIL and sent her a small greeting card which was a simple hello,
nothing more. Within three days of sending the card I got a telephone call
from her (I had not included that in the card, she got it from a directory) and
the first words out of her mouth were "I lied about you. My mother
made me do it to get custody of the girls." That caused me a bit of
anger because she had never told my parents or anyone else about her lie.
However, I was glad to chat with her because prior to the accusation we had been
very good friends. The call led to her visiting me a couple of weeks
later, which was from a distance of about 400 miles. The face to face
visit was invaluable and I learned a lot from it. I found her to be very
shallow and childish - something that a 13 year old could easily relate to, so
from my new perspective could see how she did such a thing. That does not
diminish the friendship that I had with her during my puberty, I still value it
a great deal.
I believe in completing cycles with relationships. My original
forgiveness was the completion of one cycle. My meditations and
forgiveness of myself for the withdrawal that I'd done was the completion of
another cycle, and the telephone call and face to face meeting with SIL was the
completion of still more cycles. SIL has also been my prototype lesson on forgiveness.
I've learned that I've had to forgive many, many people in my life, particularly
myself.
That is a terrible thing to be accused of. I was accused likewise by a girl that wanted revenge on my daughter who had broken up a friendship with her.
I ended up in prison and my family was bankrupted by the court costs.
I had a terrible time forgiving her and a terrible time forgiving the court system as I discovered them to be corrupt and more evil that the people they put away.
It took me over 2 years before I could again sleep a full 8 hours. I found relief when a friend sent me a book on EFT while I was in prison. The relief was instant and I'm so grateful that the book was sent to me.
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