Hello there! First off if you are reading this you are like me, in pain and have had enough!!! I'm so sorry for you :( I am 25 yrs old and I have been dealing with this issue for the past 3 years now. Every 2-6 months it swells to at least the size of a grape. About 4 times it was the size of a golf ball... ya sheer pain. I now suffer from chronic pain/sensitivity. I have been lanced 7 times either in the ER or by my OB. I have tried having the area sewn open, and in July I tried the word catheder for 2 weeks. I also had the joy of it once getting so big it formed a blood blister and popped on its own... sorry for the graphics but i'm sadly starting to feel like a pro with this. My biggest advice to you is to PLEASE understand the more times you have this lanced the MORE pain you will have over the years because of the scar tissue. Lancing is nice, aside from the pain, it offers immediate relief but not always long term freedom. The word cath sucked but it did give me almost 7 months inbetween outbreaks.
Last week I realized this issue was back. I called the doctor to ask if I could pop it on my own since it wasnt infected... of course she said no, she always does. So 20 hours of soaking in sitz baths I finally went in today. I was about to have it lanced and try the cath again when I decided to ask about surgery. In the end, we agreed that I have been through enough and that this was the best option for me. I also learned that I have a swollen vein on top of my gland which is adding to my pain (thank God I didn't try to pop it!!) I am currently scheduled to have the surgery in one month.... yes a whole month of dealing with this before my doctor attempts to hopefully remove the whole gland and clamp my vein....
Meanwhile, I left a note for my doctors nurse to let me know about using the following to get it to pop on my own; Silver shield, epsom salt, silica (liquid and capsules), calamine lotion, tea tree oil, and witch hazel. Considering I have one month of pain to look forward to i'm open to ANYTHING!!! I am not looking forward to my surgery and would love to have this burst on its own to prevent going!!!!!!
So sorry, we feel your pain! I just dealt with one over New Years and was able to get the swelling to go down and the cyst to basically just go away on its own in just a few days. The calamine, witch hazel and tea tree did not work for me but it doesn't hurt to try since you are going to be waiting several weeks anyway. If you want to try what I did after trying that though you can definitely do that too and I'd love to know if it helps.
steep a Chamomile Tea bag in half a mug of hot water
add a few drops of Lavender essential oil
add a few drops of Tea Tree Oil
(the type I used is a 20% dilution - It's "Desert Essence Kinder To Skin Tea Tree Oil")
Keep the tea bag in the mug and let it cool so that the temp is more like lukewarm. Remove the tea bag and stir to mix everything up. Take a couple cotton balls and soak them in the mixture, then squeeze *most* of the liquid out, but still leave so they are wet but not dripping. Situate the cotton balls so that they are touching the affected side/area and then what I did was just wear a pad to keep them in place and soak up any extra liquid. I kept them like that for an hour at a time and did it 3 times the first day and then once the next morning.
By the 3rd time there was already a big difference and the next morning it was hardly there at all but I still did it a 4th time for good measure.
I also had some natural lotion (body butter made mostly of coconut oil and shea butter) which I put a little bit in a separate container and added drop of lavender oil to it, mixed it together and applied to the area in between using the cotton balls.
Now I am guessing that mine was not to the degree that you are dealing with currently so if you decide to try my method or any of the others and any of them hurt or do not feel right to you definitely discontinue them right away. Hopefully you will get some relief or improvement from them and we'd love to hear if you do or if you find any other method that works.
Thank you so much for the new ideas! I just wanted to post an update. I didn't soak or take my antibiotic for a week straight, I decided if im gonna do this surgery im gonna leave it alone... well as it got bigger (the size of a marble or more) I decided screw it lol. I got the witch hazel, tea tree oil, and calamine lotion. I put it on for 30min twice a day (am n pm) by the second day it was the size of a pea!!!! I couldn't believe it!! Hopes up that I didn't need the surgery I decided to start soaking as well.... for 4 days straight it remaind the size of a pea :/
Well the idiot that I am, I decided to have intercourse last night... ya I know... unbelievably stupid.... needless to say, its back to the size of a marble now... im going to try the mixture for 30min 3 times today and try to soak at least twice... I will keep you updated and if this doesn't work after 3 days I will try the new ideas :)
Yeah, definitely best to stay away from sex until it's gone but at least if you did that was a good sign that the pain was going away! Too bad it flared it up again but now you know right?
It sounds like doing the witch hazel was definitely working so I am curious to hear another update if you got it to shrink down again? That would be such a relief to not have to go under the knife I'm sure.
Well it's been 4 months since January, and I still haven't had the surgery. My gland is not gone yet, but it has not swelled to the size that my doctor needs it to be for surgery (about the size of a ping pong ball). I gave up on sitz baths, and natural remedies for a while to try to make it swell, but it didn't work. As of now, my gland is about the size of a pea. It hurts on and off but every time it swells, within the next few days it starts to drain regardless of what I do. This leads me to believe that the word cath I had put in in July is halfway doing its job. I've thought about using the witch hazel mixture on a daily basis since it did prove to work before but I haven't started yet. I will try to update as I go, and if it goes away I will make sure to comment that it did and what I did!!
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The waiting game.... 
