My oldest child is 22, and is 6 months pregnant with her second child, the problem is the man she's involved with is extremely abusive, verbally and physically. My grandson is 2 years old and the same man is the father of both him and the unborn baby. My daughter is at an all time low and I'm scared for her, she's horribly depressed and I have NO idea what to do for her. I can not stand the man she is with, I have never liked him, he's been locked away in jail several times during their relationship for domestic abuse. She rarely ever reaches out to me, and she doesn't want to move back in with us, I just have no idea what to do to help her. She called this morning telling me she couldn't take it anymore, I offered to go and get her and the baby but she declined. She told me she wakes up every morning crying and trying to figure out how to get out of the mess she's made, I know she feels hopeless. She told me he kicked her in the stomach and told her he hoped the baby died. There are NO words to express what I feel for this man. Does any one know if those places for battered women are safe and does anyone know about them or have experience with them? I truly do not know what to do. I am so worried about my child, grandchild and unborn grandchild, I feel all their lives are in danger.
I know nothing I can do for you but pray. I do not know of the shelters or know of anyone who does, but my heart felt for you all when I read your post and just wanted you to know I would be praying for you all. Kindly, Caitlin Lorraine
I will also pray for her - because that is all I can truly offer.
Other than what you already suggested there isn't much a person can do for her. She needs to get out of there ASAP! But you also can't force her to leave. Unfortunately, most abused women find it terribly hard to leave, as they have already been "brain-washed" into feeling guilty and that everything is their fault.
Offer her your support, and prayers. Always let her know that if she needs anything that you will be there for her, no matter what day or time. You need to reasure her that she is wanted, appreciated and loved.
Ooooh this must be so hard for you, it brings tears to my own eyes so I can imagine how you must feel.
There is a national orgaisation that "routes" women to the safest battered women's center for them. Sometimes that means a bus ride to another state! BUT! Many mom's and women have found safety and help in these shelters. They not only provide a safe place but counseling for the women. Look online for battered women's shelters, you should get a website with numbers. Give those numbers to your daughter and tell her to do whatever is necessary to protect herself and her babies, even if that means that you need to step back and watch her leave on a bus for nonameville.
I wish I would have logged on sooner. I hope by now she is in a safe place. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Yes, there are safe places for her to go. Call your local domestic hotline/abuse type of shelter listed in the phonebook and talk with them.
Many places are safe houses that are out of town/state for these women to go.
Please get her and the babies out of there before it is too late. Take a police officer for protection if needed. Talk to the local police and find out what can be done.
I went to my daughter after her partner called me threating to beat her, telling me I better come and get her, I stayed for hours trying to persuade her to come home w/ me but to no avail. I did however get to bring home my grandchild, he witnessed his father hurting his mother. He was in a fragile state, I'm glad he came home with me but what do you say to a 2 year old that keeps telling you the horror story of what he witnessed? "Daddy beat up Mommy, Daddy scare me." It's insane that I can't do more, just sit back and watch and wait and hope they make it.
She went to the doctor the next day and from what he could tell the baby is ok, at least it's vitals are, but I know the baby is severly affected by all thats going on. I can't make my daughter leave this guy, I would if I thought it were possible but I know it has to be her decision. Thanks again for all your prayers.
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