finally, after reading more of the book, I find it is phony at the end, as if people were supposed to react and play a role in their lives to resolve their problems and pretend they are in a movie.
Communication, yes, playing a phony role as an actor, no !
I didn't think it a bad book. Alan Pease has better ones. But these types of books generalise things. Obviously there are fundamental differences between men and women and these came about mainly through evolution.
But what about the specifics in a relationship? Each of us bring what we value into our relationship ... values like love, integrity, loyalty etc. So each partner has a set of values. But the values can have different interpretations. Take integrity, for one person this can mean speaking your mind ... for the other keeping things to themselves. Forgiveness is another value that can have different forms. One person needs to work together to solve problems in the relationship ... the other needs to solve the problem by themselves.
So each value has it's own set of "rules". And we get our rules from our life's experiences. And it's when these rules clash that there are problems. So if you want a really happy relationship ... first of all discover what your values and rules are ... and then find out your partners. This can be a humorous and rewarding exercise.
The best book I found for this is Anthony Robbins "Awaken the Giant Within". The title put me off for a long while ... but he really does teach about life.
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