I'm married to this woman who loves to look at chaos in the home. When a room looks good and organized, she seems to get confused and begins to put her junk all over the place; this somehow, someway, brings her to her norm. If you saw our living room, you would laugh; every inch of wall space has this huge furniture surrounding it. I am constantly removing her stuff from the dining room to keep it orderly. The place never is clean and organized. Last year her mother moves in and of course has a hundred years of boxes cluttering up my basement and garage.
Is there anyone out there who knows how to deal with people who love clutter. I am sick to death of other peoples junk. If I get married again, it's going to be to an Asian girl. I hear they aren't junk collectors. Help...........
I also read your post below...and you 'do' have a problem. But hopefully it can
be remedied. No one should have to live in chaos. Our homes should be our own
little paradise.
What would happen if you had a 'loving meeting' with your wife? Could you possibly say to her, "Honey, I have something I want to talk over with you...it's
very important...so I want to do it when there is nothing else pressing on our
minds...so when would be a good time for you?" No matter how she begs...do NOT
tell her what the talk is about. When it comes time for the meeting, sit across
the table from each other...so you can look her in the eyes...and simply say,
"First of all, I want you to know, I love you more than life itself...but I have
come to a point where I just cannot live in this chaos any longer. So I was
wondering if we could come up with a plan to turn our home into a warm and homey
place we can feel good about?" Tell her you will help her....you'll work together...maybe she could have a big yard sale after the renovation is complete...
and use the money for a nice vacation. Come up with ideas to entice her to WANT
to do this.
If you can get her to agree...don't even start inside the house. Stand out in
front of your home and look it over good to see what others see when they drive
up or drive by. You will need a place to store the things you want to keep...and
the things that will be put in a yard sale. Make the front of the home warm and
inviting. Make sure the curtains and windows look nice from the front sidewalk.
When you have completed the front yard and door...go to the first room people
would see when they enter...usually the living room or entrance way. Move to the
right and take out every thing that does not belong in there. Have 3 boxes...one
for selling...one for storage...and one to throw away. When you think you're done...stand back and look at that room...does it look warm and inviting...is it
tidy? If that was the entrance way...go now to the living room...and next the
bathroom (that one should be quick) ... then the kitchen...don't move on until
each room is complete. Set a timer to make your clean up fun. If you have kids...
get them involved...make a game of it. No one should ever have to go to bed in a
messy bedroom. Or sit in a messy living room....or eat in a messy kitchen. There
is just no need for it.
Surely to goodness you can come up with a plan to make the clean up work for you. Put on your thinking cap. And let us know how it goes. kathryn
I do agree with you, but some people love chaos and do not consider others while they are creating this chaos. If our house was the way I wanted it, neat and clean, there would be something wrong somewhere. You see, for reasons of her own, she cant bring herself to being organized. I dont know what it is, but unless there is junk all over the place and totally unorganized, she doesn't feel comfortable. I know it sounds nuts, but thats her. We've spoken dozens of times about this and she cant bring herself to being organized. I however, will try what you say and let you know...........peace
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