I'm 32, male, disease-free, trying to meet a woman to share my life with. I haven't had a ton of sexual partners and I'd like to keep it that way. I have passed up several opportunities to have sex even though my sexual drive has always been strong. I don't think I am paranoid but I do fear getting diseases and I am a bit of a health nut. Maybe I am paranoid - I passed up sex! Sometimes I think about those passed up opportunities rrrrrrr...
I'll likely go through a few relationships before I find someone to settle down with and possibly have kids with so I am concerned with diseases and for this reason I am very cautious as to who I will have sexual contact with. I do not assume a girl will tell me that she has a disease, and I realize that she may not even know that she is infected.
How do I keep myself from getting diseases in 2007? One disease could end my chance at any future relationship and even kids because I would not infect someone else and obviously do not want to give my kids diseases.
Do people nowadays demand a health report from a potential mate (to be done again six months later) before sex? Is postponing sex before marriage a turn off for women and what about people who plan on never marrying - do they set a time calendar for future sex?
Then if you are fearful that every girl you meet may potentially carry a sexually transmitted disease or diseases.
It looks like the only course of action before you decide to have sex with a woman, is to insist she go to a reputable doctor and submit to testing and screening for every type of sexually transmitted disease as a pre-sexual agreement, and present the test results to you signed by a qualified eurologist medical doctor.
That would prevent you from suffering mental stress and anguish of wondering if she gave you any type of diseases.
It looks like you answered your own question in your first and second post.
You might be 'hanging out' with the wrong crowd if you have to worry about the women you're meeting. I'd say date a woman for a few months before you consider sexual intercourse. Get to know her and her habits 'really well'.......WY
It's important to be cautious in choosing sexual partners, and you've asked some very good questions.
Here are some ways you can protect yourself:
- Ask your potential partner to have a blood test for STDs (this should include an HIV test)
- Find out your potential partner's sexual habits and history. If she is unwilling to disclose this information, beware.
- Always use condoms when having sexual intercourse and maintain excellent hygiene.
There is no "standard" as far as the timing of sex is concerned. If you feel it's best to wait until after you're married, focus on attracting a partner who feels the same way. I recommend that couples have sex when their hearts are truly open to each other and are able to communicate honestly and self-responsibly. That doesn't require marriage but a commitment to deepening emotional intimacy.
Do you mind if I ask you, since you are a woman, how a woman would prefer to be asked about her sexual history? I guess something very specific would really help. Every scenario I can think of ends in a loud buzzer sound.
Sorry to be blunt but I don't want to offend her and could use some coaching on the delivery.
First, tell her that you are very careful about choosing partners because you are concerned about STDs. Women who feel the same way will be reassured. Then tell her that in this day and age, this is a real issue and you feel strongly that partners should openly discuss their sexual history and get tested to support their health. Make sure to say that you do not mean to judge her or be intrusive, but that you need to know what her situation has been for health reasons. (You're not making a moral assessment about her sex life.) If you share about yourself first in a loving way, most women will not be offended unless they're hiding something.
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