Self Esteem is a projection of our own thoughts on other's behaviors toward us
Oh my very good subject some stream is coming through
One can shake their head and walk away, and realize the others are only just that
One could think that the mirror offered some lesson about self or others that are like self
One could decide that it is just them doing their stick and if harmful in some way to you or your property (mean spirited intrusion)
The prosecute
But all these thoughts are feelings of:
1) Being on one's own-different
2) Not caring what other's think because your life is full of your own pursuits
3) One can be curiously unconcerned but watching others as a clue
4) Sometimes a change in social circle is needed so you feel more comfortable with artists creative types than stockbrokers
5) Sometimes there is no answer
It's actualy a technique from seduction guru/speed seduction founder Ross Jeffries (though alot of his material is considered bunk compared to modern materials now) one of his techniques for shy guys to become confident and indifferent of peoples views on them by dressing up in a ridiculous outfit and going out in public and talking to people..seems to work.Alot of other seduction camps excersizes are similar in nature to this specific one. I have never done it myself because I don't care what people think of me,unfortunantly sometimes I am hard on myself worse then anyone else can be!
O:
thanks for all your responses........it is true that if you judge then you will be judged[in your own mind]but i can't stop judging others either...........so it is inevitable........thanks for your help
It's more about how we judge. Perhaps you can look at refocusing your judgments from negative to positive.
For example .. you see someone you know and they don't even bother smiling at you or saying "hello"
Well .. this is judgment time!
There are many choices you can make how your thoughts go ..
You could choose to judge them saying how nasty, uncaring, arrogant etc. they are .. OR you might consider that they must've had a really bad day or perhaps had some bad news etc.
The 1st line of judgment is critical .. and this will turn back on you. When you're having a hard day and don't have the energy to look or act happy, you will feel others judge you harshly .. because this is the way you judge.
The 2nd line of judgement is full of compassion and forgiveness .. for none of us ever know what it is to walk in someones shoes at any one moment. When you focus on this, you will also feel others compassion towards you.
So, be clear what type of judgmental thoughts you have about others and start shifting them to make them feel good and you feel good.
because then you would have to go live in a hole somewhere.
-------->"Why allow others opinions to matter that significantly, or even at all"
its never significant. even at all?
i prefer to live in the world and if that means having to play a few societal games, then so be it. life is never ideal, and the sooner you accept that the happier you will be. it does not change who you are. nothing can touch that unless you let it. ask any convict whose done more than 5 years.
in fact, the "i need to be different...people should accept me" mentality is a game in itself, and ironically in most cases is done out of obsession for "what people think".
u can't escape games. live the best u can and forget the ideals that are propagandized by mtv and the like. they are not ideal.
Start noticing the things you like about yourself. Write out a list of the things you are grateful for about yourself. Then you can carry it around and read it from time to time or even before you go to bed at night and again in the morning. These two times of the day greatly affect your entire day. They frame the way you feel all day. If you feel good about yourself you will definitely lessen the amount of time you spend caring about being judged by other people.
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how do i stop caring what people think of me? 
