Aug. 22, 2007
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(CBS/AP) An unprecedented study of sex and seniors finds that many older people are surprisingly frisky — willing to do, and talk about, intimate acts that would make their grandchildren blush.
That may be too much information for some folks.
But it comes from the most comprehensive sex survey ever done among 57- to 85-year-olds in the United States. Sex and interest in it do fall off when people are in their 70s, but more than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex in the previous year.
And the drop-off has a lot to do with health or lack of a partner, especially for women, the survey found.
"The frequency of sexual activity is not a whole lot different as compared to younger people who are sexually active. So on average, people with partners in the 57-85 year old group are having sex 2-3 times a month or more," Stacy Lindau a gynecologist who specializes in geriatrics at the University of Chicago told CBS Evening News medical correspondent Dr. Jon LaPook.
The federally funded study, done by respected scientists and published in Thursday's New England Journal of Medicine, overturns some stereotypical notions that physical pleasure is just a young person's game.
"Most people assume that people stop doing it after some vague age," said sex researcher Edward Laumann of the University of Chicago.
However, more than half of those aged 57 to 75 said they gave or received oral sex, as did about a third of 75- to 85-year-olds.
"Bravo that the New England Journal of Medicine is publishing something like that. It's about time," said Ruth Westheimer, better known as sexpert Dr. Ruth, who has long counseled seniors on sex.
The survey involved two-hour face-to-face interviews with 3,005 men and women around the country. Researchers also took blood, saliva and other samples that will tell about hormone levels, sex-related infections and other health issues in future reports. They even tested how well seniors could see, taste, hear and smell things that affect being able to have and enjoy sex.
Some results:
Sex with a partner in the previous year was reported by 73 percent of people ages 57 to 64; 53 percent of those ages 64 to 75, and 26 percent of people 75 to 85. Of those who were active, most said they did it two to three times a month or more.
Women at all ages were less likely to be sexually active than men. But they also lacked partners; far more were widowed.
People whose health was excellent or very good were nearly twice as likely to be sexually active as those in poor or fair health.
Half of people having sex reported at least one related problem. Most common in men was erection trouble (37 percent); in women, low desire (43 percent), vaginal dryness (39 percent) and inability to have an orgasm (34 percent).
One out of seven men used Viagra or other substances to improve sex.
Only 22 percent of women and 38 percent of men had discussed sex with a doctor since age 50.
The survey had a remarkable 75 percent response rate. Only 2 percent to 7 percent did not answer questions about sexual activities or problems, although a higher percentage declined to reveal how often they masturbate.
Why do this research? Sex is an important indicator of health, said Georgeanne Patmios of the National Institute on Aging, the study's main funder.
Sexual problems can be a warning sign of diabetes, infections, cancer or other health woes. Untreated sex issues can lead to depression and social withdrawal, and people may even stop taking needed medications because of sexual side effects, the researchers wrote.
Some of them did a landmark study of sexual habits in younger people a decade ago, but little is known about X-rated behaviors beyond Generation X.
"This subject has been taboo for so long that many older people haven't even talked to their spouses about their sexual problems, let alone a physician," said the lead author, Lindau.
Many doctors are embarrassed to bring it up, and some may not know how to treat sexual dysfunction, said Dr. Alison Moore, a geriatrics specialist at the University of California, Los Angeles, who had no role in the study.
"Even among geriatricians, there can be an age bias that this is not as big a deal as some of the other things they come into us for," like heart problems or dementia, Moore said. "It gets lost in the shuffle."
The National Opinion Research Center, a university-affiliated private research firm, did the surveys in people's homes. Laumann, its chairman, has received research support from Pfizer Inc., the maker of Viagra.
Hundreds of questions were asked face to face; others, like the number of lifetime sex partners and frequency of masturbation, were asked in a questionnaire, and 84 percent of those were completed.
Most participants were married. But by the time they were 75 to 85, only 37 percent of women had spouses compared to 71 percent of men. Roughly 10 percent of those in the survey were black and more than 6 percent were Hispanic.
The proportion of each gender reporting giving and receiving oral sex "matched up perfectly," Lindau said. "This gives us pretty good reassurance that men and women are telling the same story."
Older people were generally sexually conservative. A small minority had more than one partner, and very few said they paid for sex.
Researchers also used state-of-the-art technology and products donated by several companies to test people's senses. Taste strips were used to see if people could distinguish between various tastes (sour, salty). Special devices were used to test the ability to smell certain scents, including a suspected pheromone — a smell thought to evoke sexual responses.
Scents and tastes "get under the skin to influence biology," and scientists wanted to know whether these senses diminish as people age, Lindau explained.
Niels Teunis, an anthropologist and researcher at the Institute of Sexuality, Social Inequality, and Health at San Francisco State University, said the survey bolsters the "use it or lose it" factor seen in previous studies.
"If you are doing it, you keep doing it. If you slack off in marriage like when you're in your 40s, it's hard to pick it up when you are older," he said.
Jack Menager, 83, and his wife, Elizabeth, 84, agree. The suburban Los Angeles couple say they have had a good sex life for nearly 60 years.
"It gives a person relief on any burdens or problems. It makes us forget everything — escape," he said, admitting that as physical endurance wanes "you have to work at it harder."
The couple takes twice daily walks, drinks wine in moderation and talks a lot, said his wife.
"I think it's important," she said of sex. "It just makes you feel close."
More men than women felt that way. Only 13 percent of men but 35 percent of women said sex was "not at all important."
Menopause has a big effect on women, and the drop-off of estrogen makes many of them less interested in sex, Dr. John Bancroft of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University wrote in an accompanying editorial.
But menopause also means women no longer have to worry about getting pregnant, and many have more time and feel freer after children are gone, notes Westheimer, the sex adviser.
At age 79, she said, "I don't ever answer personal questions" about sex. But she added, "I certainly have a zest for life."
Absolutely, we used to put out a magazine which
was aimed at the preservation of local history,
and I was in on many interviews with elders.
No lack of folks in their nineties getting it on.
I have written before of Homer Arnett, who in
his 90's, still had a girlfriend, and had a
subscription to Playboy magazine. Of course, he
swore by a shot of whiskey every morning the
first thing his feet hit the floor.
My neighbor, Emmet Burke, was also 90 and his
wife, Zola, was 89. He and she still slept
together in their full size bed, and he could
still make her blush. He was a great marriage
counselor and I think it was his encouragement
which helped my then boyfriend choose to propose
to me. I've never forgotten them though and the
quality of their relationship. They were both
very happy people, and they had l1 kids, all but
the last one, at home. Zola, nor Emmet, had been
hospitalized their whole life except to have their
last child. Truly, they both were an example of how
to keep the humor and happiness in a relationship.
I would have to say not. These people were great
individuals. Men whose wives dress them to match,
well, those were not the people who stood out as
much to us.
I have seen younger marriages where it can be
found that it almost looks like they have married
their sibling. Well, Tom and Katie come close,
there may have been some kind of strong resonance,
you know what I mean I hope...
We were looking for the one of a kind personality
and it seemed to be the kind and upbeat ones who
make it, or the ones who were fearless and all had
a sense of humor. Not a whiner in the lot~!
I see where the whiners won't make it, and also that inherent energy and the ability to step back and laugh are essential components. My old buddy Joe is always making wise cracks. Synergy in humor permeates the entire psyche. Thanks for sharing that.
my father is 65 years old and he still enjoys a full sex life due to regular use of genuine Gerovital tablets from the original romanian gerovital manufacturer . i am using also gerovital products and i am very pleased with the results as i was affected by arthritis and atherosclerosis . after years of searches we found this marvelous site with free shipping and live help , www.GerovitalShop.eu ,so we are very happy lately . best regards from liverpool , acantuniari
i had sex several times a week when i was 23. after that, not much at all, and back in 2000 it dried up altogether. so, i gave it up entirely. old people having sex is kind of like finding out your parents do.
My daughter was in middle school when
her best friend's older sister shared
the information that boys peed in a
girl's mouth. My husband and I had over
heard this on the phone, "he pees in
your mouth~!" in total disbelief my
daughter squealed...
"You first", my husband said as we knew
we had some "'splaining" to do.
I tried to break it to her gently.
Some things we do behind closed doors
like use the bathroom or have sex.
I went on to explain that Princess Diana
did it, Madonna did it, and yes, even her
Nana did it.
Ha~! well imagine, she instantly said,
"well, I'm NEVER doing it...!"
Of course she is older and many sex books
later, she is very comfy in her sexuality,
but dang, she sure was disappointed the
first time she thought about her parents,
grandparents, AND the Queen doing it.
Deepak Chopra wrote a fine book called,
"The Path to Love". I can recommend it to
anyone who seeks to deepen an intimate
relationship with another. One of the
little sage pieces of advice was to consider
looking at your beloved and seeing that
person from the cradle to the grave and
if you saw love there, that was a good
sign that you were truly in love.
I have hung onto that piece of advisce and
remember there were many other worthy
thoughts he shared on the topic. Time to
reread it again and refresh my memory~!
what did she hear on the phone, that a boy peed in a girl's mouth? i mean i know it happens, it's all over the internet, but was it literal, your story, or was that a metaphor?
my mom's friend was disgusted when she heard i was spending the night at my boyfriend's house when i was 19. she exclaimed, Torrie! that is only for having children! she looked disgusted and embarrassed. i never thought i would ever agree with her. but i definitely do. i now understand exactly what she meant. i suppose if people are married recreational sex is ok if both people want to do it. i doubt i will need to worry about it.
Yes, in her circle of friends, they thought
a boy ejaculating was peeing. Nothing any
mama wants to hear and a rumor I sure could
not let stand. I do not remember what her dad
told her from his point of view, but I am sure
she was probably never the same again...ggg.
I am no longer married but still crave
intimacy in my life and without the risk
of pregnancy, I see nothing wrong with having
mature, safe-sex, relationship with partners
who also feel the same way. I find nothing
shameful about it or inappropriate. It can
be very healing to be able to touch and be
touched by another human being.
I think if we had more awareness and less
stigma about our sexuality, we could find
much healing in promoting healthy relationships
long into our golden years...and this does not
only mean intercourse. Sexuality is tied to
emotional intimacy, and for many, it can be
very fulfilling to share their life with
another...and to connect in ways outside of
the parameters of how we usually describe our
lives.
One of my properties has a lot of senior citizens and you just would not believe what goes on. On more than one occasion, I have seen older people, male and female, "sneaking" out of one another's apartment. In fact, in 2003, some of the apartments flooded and a couple of females didn't give it a second thought to go and bunk with their male friends until their apartments were OK to live in again.
Oh, and how they LOVE to talk about sex. They all say..."Well, we aren't dead yet!"
It is so funny to hear this as an older person myself. Don't you know that an old person is only older in their body - in our spirit and our heart we are still just a child. I remember thinking this way about older people and now I feel so silly - I didn't know then that it was all in my mind and that older people are really no different - and guess what - we kind of like hanging with each other because we have gained a bit of wisdom and we have a lot in common and we also - hopefully - are now able to let go of all that silliness about perfect bodies and such and we now love each other for the real reasons. When I was younger I didn't want to hang around old people - and the idea of them having sex seemed kinda funny to me! lol
Someday you'll understand it is not such a dang curiosity that we have the instincts and desires that you do. Always look for the ten year old behind a persons eyes.
i see. yeah, that is awful she had to learn that way and then on top of it have to get "the talk".
well, my friends in washington disagree with people having sex. they are church going people and do not agree with pre-marital sex at all. that is fine with me, because finding a good man now days is far too difficult. men my age are divorced, so someone already threw them away. many are gay. many are abusive. i am not being negative, just real. my mom who lives in oregon was talking to a lady the other day and she said the same thing, that she cannot find a good man, so she just gave up. i will not have sex with anyone i am not in love with and i really have gone in the direction of the way the churches believe. to each his/her own, though.
Certainly, I am divorced but do not
consider myself as being thrown away.
I consider myself a success to have
grown up and have raised a family and
had a great time with someone who did
treat me good and lovingly.
Life circumstances come up though and
it is difficult to say what happens
to find you holding the end of your
rope. When it is time to let go, you
just know it and if lucky, find the
courage to actually let go.
I have also dated divorced men and
they really look and act like other
singles. The ones I met did not wear
labels that said TRASH, nor did they
treat me like I was trashy.
Some people just believe in marriage
and so get married and divorced as a
matter of course, some because they
have values which dictate they need to
be married to have sex. Me, I would have
divorced a few more times already if
that were the case. I prefer to enjoy
men who cross my path in a meaningful
way just as I might inhale the smell
and sight of a beautiful flower garden.
Here's an idea for you Aharleygirl - go join the Sierra Club - get out in the fresh air - make some friendships - just friendships with both women and men - go for hikes - see the countryside down there in San Diego. Give it a chance - sunshine - fresh air - godd company - no need to worry about sex - just make friends - there are a lot of nice men out there. I was alone for many many years and when I was 53 I met the man I am with today - guess where? at a meditation group. But if I hadn't met him it would still have been o.k. - I has learned to like my aloneness and I wasn't there to find a man. Try some new things girl and get out of this depression. Go over to the beach and walk around. You need to make friends down there in S.D....
I'm sure you will find your way out of this doldrum.
between you and me - I don't have a great big sex drive anymore either but it can still come back once in a while and my love and I enjoy each other in numerous ways - we love to just cuddle and we love being together and we are each others best friend. Before him I was just enjoying lots of friendships with both men and women.
Don't mean to lecture but you remind me of myself in the past and I care - you are very beautiful too!
thanks, but i am just not interested. i was fine when i was accepted, long story. but, now, i just miss my family and friends. i refuse to go out by myself. i have done it many times since i have been here and all that happens is i meet no one and people look at me like i am nuts for even trying to talk to them. i even joined a club one time, same reaction. so, rather than waste my time and money i will stay here. but thanks.
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