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  • Dreaming of cheating by #168525   22 h  33  Relationship / Marriage / Love / 4
     
    Can anyone help me? ... ... My husband Josh was a virgin when we met, and has never been with anyone but me sexually. I wasn’t much more experienced, but I had had sex with one other guy before I met Josh. The other guy, Michael, is still a friend of mine. We are connected on Facebook and chat occasionally, though not often. We don’t live nearby anymore so we don’t see each other. ... ... Anyway, I haven’t thought about Michael much since I met Josh, but the other day Michael started an IM session with me, and I participated. It wasn’t flirty in any way; just two friends chatting. Last night, ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Dreaming of cheating by sd2345   17 h  18
       
      FB can be dangerous for that very reason. Unfortunately, I know too many first hand stories of affairs that started just like your innocent chatting..... ... ... You didn’t cheat, so no need to feel guilty. ... ... If it was 1997 and he had called you to chat, would that be ok? Why then do people think it’s ok to chat with someone on FB that they normally would not have contact with because it is technically improper? It’s fun to talk with old friends on FB, but they probably wouldn’t like it if I was chatting with their husbands too.   [End]
    • Re: Dreaming of cheating by BlueRose   14 h  23
       
      Back when Jimmy Carter was running for president, he said in an interview that he never cheated on his wife but he did ”lust in his heart”. In other words, he was saying that he had fantasies but never went further than that. ... ... It’s normal to indulge in fantasies, even after you are married. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you leave it at that. ... ... If you think there is a danger that you would cross the line the next time you and Michael IM each other, then don’t allow yourself to converse with him again. Too many people start out innocently messaging but end up crossing th ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Does anyone have experience with this Numerology App? by NumbersCadet   3 days  57  Numerology / Affirmatio / Consciousn / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    I am a great fan of numerology and I would like to know if anyone on this forum have any experience with Numerology - The Pocket Numerologist App for iPhone. ... ... The people who made it, are marketing it as the best Numerology App in the World... I don’t know what to think about that... ... ... The reviews on the app store are all 5 stars but I want to know a first hand opinion. ... ... Is it worth the money or not? I’m in doubt if I should spend 10 bucks on it... ... ... Thanks! ... Mark.   [End]
  • Harvard To Take 2 Years To Move Its Monkeys Elsewhere This can be com... by frugivorous   24 days  76  Animal Kingdom / Abuse Phys / Relationsh
     
    Harvard To Take 2 Years To Move Its Monkeys Elsewhere ... ... This can be compared to a farmer selling cows to another farmer ... who will slaughter them. Harvard is still involved in research on mammals, birds, reptiles, fishes, insects and is still heavily invested in slaughterhouse, vivisection, and war profiteering. ... Nevertheless it is a first positive step in a long journey ... and frees the primates if not the other animals from ... the underground labs of Harvard in Southborough Massachusetts. ... ... http://www.boston.com/news/science/blogs/science-in-mind/2013/04/23/harvard-shut-primate-research-ce ...   [retrieve this message]
  • boyfriend with severe dental problems by #170657   38 days  254  Dental Support / Dating: Di / Relationsh / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    I have met a lovely man who has very few teeth. He tells me he lost them whilst serving in the Navy in the Middle East when he was involved in a truck bombing. He is terribly self conscious - will not show me the damage- cannot smile , laugh or kiss...He tells me he had bridges before and will again- but no sign of this happening . Would the navy not pay for new teeth even after 20 years? He seems also to show signs of neglect -not just the damage. How can I approach such a sensitive subject without looking totally shallow? I feel it is severely holding me back from having a long relations ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: boyfriend with severe dental problems by BlueRose   38 days  219
       
      I’m assuming that by your usage of ”whilst” that you are not in the US? The reason I ask is that different countries have different policies when treating war vets. For example, here in the US if it is a war-related injury, then what ever care a vet needs gets fully covered. That said, I don’t know how other countries handle it. ... ... Do you have any idea as to why he hasn’t fully correct his problem? Is it because the government won’t cover his dental care? Or does he dislike going to dentists? ... ... From what you wrote about him having had bridges in the past, I’m guessing that if he do ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: boyfriend with severe dental problems by SoulfulSurvivor   37 days  197
       
      Blue Rose is spot-on. There are various reasons that a person’s dental health falls into a state of extreme neglect. Fear of dentists is a big one: sitting in a dentist’s chair leaves a patient feeling very vulnerable. There is also the extreme financial burden, as Blue Rose mentioned - I have the same issue. ... ... Having typed that, you posted a very important sentence that would give me pause for thought, ”He seems also to show signs of neglect -not just the damage.” He is neglectful of himself? Is this man suffering depression or some other condition? Knowing my own core-issues and ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: boyfriend with severe dental problems by Jenifer   37 days  198
         
        ... Maybe his dental health has deteriorated to the point where even bridges wouldn’t work. He may need to consider dentures. ... If after talking to him this seems to be the case, you might refer him to this site: ... http://denturesanewsmile.ning.com/ ... ...   [End]
  • Any success stories? Recovering from Mirena IUD, depression, anxiety and... by Kellyc180   56 days  900  Mirena IUD / Anxiety / Depression / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    I have posted another topic on this forum and had lots of responses, thank you very much, I appreciate everyone’s feedback very much. ... ... My anxiety and depression after a mirena removal (2 months ago) has been through the roof. To the point where I feel like I don’t love my partner! When I know deep down I do, and when I feel normal and happy I am so in love with him. ... ... I have never had anxiety or depression before having the Mirena. ... ... I need someone to tell me that they have recovered from the Mirena anxiety and depression, and give me some time frames and advice. Please ... ... I feel like ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Any success stories? Recovering from Mirena IUD, depression, anxiety... by White Shark   56 days  591
       
      What is your diet like? ... ... Eliminating from your diet processed sugar, alcohol, vinegar and food additives like preservatives, artificial colors, and making sure food you eat is made from scratch so you really know what you are eating can be of a great help for eliminating symptoms of depression, anxiety and any other mental and emotional imbalance. ... ... Another thing that can help a lot is to cleanse your liver and your bowel. You can read about it on the liver flush forum and bowel cleanse forum. ... ... To locate success stories, click on the ” RN ” and ” BSA ” links at the top of every for ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Any success stories? Recovering from Mirena IUD, depression, anxiety... by Kellyc180   56 days  553
         
        Hi Whiteshark ... ... Thank you for your reply. I am already on a diet given to me by a naturopath, it’s no wheat, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, excess sugar, salt and fat. I am sticking to this along side drinking chamomile tea, fish oil, magnesium and pantothenic acid sups. ... ... The reason why I feel so rubbish is because I am doing everything I am being told to do but still have episodes of debilitating depression and anxietyv- this is so far from my normal self! ... ... I also am starting counselling again and having acupuncture, I will try anything to get over this, it’s horrible and I don’t want to ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Liver Flush by White Shark   54 days  402
           
          One thing left to do: ... ... Liver Flush ... ... Liver helps our body flush excdess hormones. All your symptoms point to hormonal imballance. You need to flush your liver at least 6 times (every 2 - 3 weeks.) ... ... White Shark   [End]
          • Re: Liver Flush by Kellyc180   54 days  344
             
            I shall do some research and give it a go. ... ... Thank you for your advice :)   [End]
          • Re: Liver Flush by Kellyc180   54 days  355
             
            After looking it up I am very scared to try it. ... ... I had undiagnosed agonising stomach pain and food poisoning symptoms last summer and has left me on a very ’safe’ diet in order to avoid being in pain like that again. ... ... I don’t think I can handle the physical and emotional stress of a liver flush after the pain I was in last year :-S   [End]
  • how can I get the love of my life back by brokenintwo33   78 days  183
     
    ive been on an off with this guy for three month an now he wants nothing to do with me he went to jail in dec n I cried to his dad to bail him out of jail his dad did an a day after I told him I loved him he told me he wanted to put a ring on my finger after all the court hears r done but three weeks later he told me he couldn’t do it two weeks after that I moved out every time I was out he would stare at me if a guy would hug me or talk to me he would get this look on his face like he was jealous he wouldn’t really talk to me really an when I had my son he flew 45 mins away just to be the ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: how can I get the love of my life back by BlueRose   78 days  186
       
      You’re post is confusing. You say you’ve been with this guy on and off for 3 months. Yet, you said you had a baby. I take it that given the timeline, the guy in question is not the father of your baby? ... ... You pleaded with his father to bail him out of jail. It sounds like his father was reluctant to do so. Why was that? Has this guy been in trouble with the law before? Or was his crime so bad that his father didn’t want to risk bailing him out? Was his father worried about him skipping out after he was bailed out of jail? If the answer is ”yes” to any --- or all --- of these quest ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: how can I get the love of my life back by brokenintwo33   75 days  139
         
        no he is not the father of my son. my son father is not in his life its better that way. ... ... yes I cried to his dad to bail him out. no he never been in trouble with the law. his bail was 10,000. he cried to me on the phone saying he could handle it in jail. he was framed. I am the one who called around for him looking for lawyers an a bails bond man an I did everything I could for him. ... ... I have no idea what goes on in his mind. he always told me that I was the perfect girlfriend. he also told me he didn’t want to hurt me cause he is looking at a long time in jail. I told him I didn’t care ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Wow.... by SoulfulSurvivor   74 days  169
           
          This may come off as harsh, but you have no business involving yourself with some man that you’ve only known for 3 months when you have a CHILD TO RAISE.  You would do yourself and your innocent child a service if you made the choice to secure your education and put forth your energies on raising a well-adjusted and healthy child. ... ... It sounds as if you’re attempting to ”save” this loser by bailing him out and doing everything for him under the most mistaken belief that, if you ”save” this man, he will not abandon you and ”love” you.  Well, the truth is that nothing good is going ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Last week of internship and everything is falling apart. Help! by Maverick494   83 days  419  Relationship / Depression / Stress / 4
     
    I have a problem. Basically the world is crumbling beneath my feet. ... ... I have studies at Uni to finish, I’m in my last week of my internship and everything is going to hell. I really need some advice or at least a listening ear. ... ... This is my situation: I am currently living at home, in the country where my parents live (not the USA) with my chronically ill, rapidly deteriorating mom. ... My dad lost his job and has heart and liver problems, ... My brother has Down’s syndrome and also lost his job, last week. ... ... On top of that we can barely manage to keep our heads above water financially. I loa ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Last week of internship and everything is falling apart. Help! by BlueRose   83 days  390
       
      I am so very sorry that you and your family are going through some very hard times. ... ... What I didn’t see in your post is if your family has contacted social services. If not, I strongly urge you to do so. I can understand the reluctance to ask for assistance---especially monetary assistance---however, it’s there to be used as a safety net. You and your family certainly would NOT be abusing it. ... ... Your dad lost his job. You mention that his unemployment benefits will run out soon. He should be looking for a job---any job---as long as it is honest work and he can physically do the job. ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Last week of internship and everything is falling apart. Help! by impossible   71 days  310
       
      WOW! I say that not because of the situation you are facing, but because of the unselfish & courageous strength, discipline and character you have. I could only imagine the unrelenting pressure you must feel, yet you keep going. Most people would only complain and look for a way out, instead you are only focused on a way through. You must stop for a moment and pat yourself on the back. The world is truly a better because of people like you. Life is not exactly fair, but good things do come to those who work for them. First remember that this will not last forever. ... ... As far as this tempora ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Body odor problems making live lonely by #168010   4 mon  778  Body Odor / Lonely / Relationsh / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    I am a 35 year old female with terrible body odor not from poor hydgiene. This problem has affected me for years and made my life very lonely. I am just looking for people to talk to that have gone through a similar situations.   [End]
    • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by affliction   4 mon  723
       
      I think a lot of us on here have a lot of the same problems caused by bo such as loneliness and anxiety. Sometimes im so lonely i dont know how i can bear it. its good to have this support forum and talk with this group. I’m here if you want to pm me as well.   [End]
      • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by third.year   3 mon  645
         
        Regardless how much money you make, how much love and support you get from family, how good looking you are. If you smell not cause by hygiene, you’ll be depressed. It gets so intense that many times you wish you’d die. ... ... Wanna hear something funny, one of the greatest fear wont kill myself is the humiliation I’d get if people found out I kill myself coz I smell. I don’t wanna die a laughing stock to everyone I know.   [End]
        • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by lilly35   3 mon  618
           
          LOL! Makes sense to me. Thanks for making me feel like I am not alone.   [End]
          • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by affliction   3 mon  610
             
            another thought. before i thought what would i do if i won the jackpot of 50 million? what would i spend it on? I’d give a team of doctors 1 million dollars to find out whats causing this odor and get rid of it. id probably even pay them 25 million if it came down to it. when we live in the western world with so much technology ud think we could find a solution to body odor and unfortunately many people think it can be solved with a simple $7 formula from the drugstore when we tried everything and that person is so disgusting they say of me. if only they knew all the stuff i tried and if o ...   [retrieve this message]
            • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by lilly35   3 mon  594
               
              I know how you feel trying to deal with all the comments and ”hints” people try to give to you. Sometimes I think the hints are nastier than it would be to actually tell the person they have an odor. At least then maybe you could explain that you couldn’t help it and that you tried everything, maybe that would get them to back off a little. ... I have spend thousands of dollars throughtout my life and gimmick products. None of them work and they just make you feel more hopeless. ... I too would spend everything and even give up years of my life if it meant this would be cured. ... The good th ...   [retrieve this message]
            • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by Kadima   17 days  114
               
              Hey, ... sense of humor is the best medicine. ... ... Guys, ... did anyone try anything to change this problem? (I don’t mean to insult anyone, just asking). ... ... I know I can help you, if you like me to. ... ... ... It will be a little hard, because everyone is different, so I would need to know every person’s story: how it started, what you were feeling at that time, why you think you have bo, what you did to get better, etc.. ... ... So, let me know. ... ... I would love to help. ... ... Warmly, ... Eugeniya ...   [End]
        • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by affliction   3 mon  605
           
          It’s so true even if i spend hours on clothes and makeup and get a big paycheque with no bills, I’m so depressed because i smell worse than a living corpse. Please dont consider killing yourself because you smell and suicide is never a laughing matter no matter what the reason.   [End]
          • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by #156161   3 mon  597
             
            People are very rude but who is to say if the shoes was reversed how we would have acted... I would given anything for somebody to just come out and tell me you stink instead of taking behind my back. But I always tell myself God never gives us problem we can’t handle. So we just have to be strong and keep moving and try to find answers. ... ... I know it gets though but we have to hold our heads up high.... And stay positive and we have to be our own advocate.   [End]
          • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by #167830   3 mon  574
             
            Dear affliction, thank you for the very timely reminder: TMAU, BB, and BO is NO LAUGHING MATTER. Take care.   [End]
        • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by #167830   3 mon  588
           
          Hi there third.year, sounds like you got it goin’ on. Am I to assume that you were referring to yourself, when you mentioned all those beautiful blessings in your life? ... You are absolutely correct third.year in what you said about having good looks, money or a good job, a loving family who supports and encourages you, and how these things at times seem pointless. You have probably even said to yourself: ”I feel all alone, even though I’m in a room full of people”. You, may have even tried laughing or smiling about your the unpleasant odor that emits from your body. The Bible mentions at Ec ...   [retrieve this message]
          • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by #156161   3 mon  598
             
            Wow draheraw reading your post made me emotionally so well said. Sometimes we humans only focus on what we lack and what we don’t have. I am sure well I could only speak for myself but if I don’t have this odor issues I would have been complaining about something else. It’s human nature to focus on things we don’t have instead of counting our blessing. There are people out there that have it worst than us besides our odor we have no medical issue. There are people that suffer with cancer and pain. I am not saying what we are going through this not painful but there are people that have it ...   [retrieve this message]
            • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by #167830   3 mon  584
               
              Dear #156161 How beautifully said and expressed. I could’nt have said it better :)...Keep your head and chin up #156161, and stick to your goal of getting TMAU and other odors under control. Please do me a favor and check out the thread dealing with Trimehtylaminuria, where I comment on the medical reason we suffer from TMAU (primary and secondary). I’d like to see what you think about it. Thanks and take care.   [End]
    • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely   RRR by hadenuff29   3 mon  651
       
      Wowee man these forums are like committing suicide. ... ... Everyone needs to get more positive and get on the front foot and take spme serious action.The illness wont miraculously dissapear without action. ... ... There is too much information I need to tell you but one of the best things I could say is to buy the book the MIRACLE OF FASTING by Braggs. In it on about page 83 i think, he talks of a person with chronic odour issues who overcomes it with a year of regular weekly water fasts, and some 7-10 day fasts. It’s an awesome book and I recommend it just for that one case study. I personally ha ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by Rugare   3 mon  558
         
        Hey just wanted to ask if you had tried the fasting and whether it helped   [End]
        • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by hadenuff29   3 mon  620
           
          Yes I have mate, I have done a lot of green juice fasts. Absolutely they work, but just be aware the odours will get terribly worse probaly during the first fast as everything dies off and old toxins and feces are eliminated. You get worse before you get better. There is no way around that. ... ... Good luck ... Jordan   [End]
        • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by #167830   3 mon  560
           
          Hi I’ve never tried fasting, and I don’t knock it. Fasting does have its benefits. Ive fasted a couple times in my life but really did not have much success. Some have success some don’t. It varies frm person to person. Im just a person that does or keeps things as simple as possible if I can’t I suppose if the black tea didnt work Id be looking at other possible solutions.. And for me drinking black tea does the trick when keeping down body odors associated with TMAU. ... Remember, that a defective human gene called fmo3 is within every cell on our bodies so we therefore will never totally ...   [retrieve this message]
          • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by affliction   3 mon  541
             
            I get so depressed today thinking its valentines day soon and yet again i have nobody, totally deserted with this odor condition and i never get the ones i want for the most part :( no friends really to call on me and check up on me i just was wishing i didnt exist altho ill probably retract that comments later on. im just going to drown my sorrows in a bucket of fried chicken.   [End]
          • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by hadenuff29   3 mon  575
             
            One question, Are you diagnosed TMAU? ... ... If your odors arrived at the same time you got some really bad intestinal issues, I’m certain you don’t have TMAU   [End]
            • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by affliction   3 mon  499
               
              Hello hadenuff 29 my bo is something i was born with i think or occurring in very early childhood. my digestive problems came about by around the age of 18 not due to natural causes so it has no relation to the bo. my tmau result was actually in the normal range, in fact low for even the normal range. ... ... TMA (umol/mmol creatinine) ... Normal Range ello hadenuff 29 my bo is something i was born with i think or occurring in very early childhood. my digestive problems came about by around the age of 18 not due to natural causes so it has no relation to the bo. my tmau result was ...   [retrieve this message]
              • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by hadenuff29   3 mon  536
                 
                Hi Affliction, ... ... I’m glad it’s not Tmau. You’re lucky in that aspect. ... Does you mum have digestive issues too? Or ever had any serious illness? ... ... I think you are trying a lot of different things from what you are saying, but you arent sticing ot them for long enough. 2 weeks won’t cut it. Sometimes probiotcs will need to be taken for years just to get the balance back in the guts. A mild case of IBS can be fixed quite easily, but it will still sometimes take a good 6 momths. So imagine ours is a lot longer, depending on the time you have been suffering and how bad it has gotten. ... ... Imag ...   [retrieve this message]
                • Re: Body odor problems making live lonely by affliction   3 mon  525
                   
                  Hello thats a good idea. I dont have a history of family bo problems or food allergies/ibs altho my grandmother had excessive sweating in her underarms. also it’s not ibs what i have its something that happened after a SA a few years ago where something is not working properly, i believe my liver or soemthing and it has no relation to the bo, the bo happened much earlier. That’s a good idea i dont stick with things long enough i sort of try one thing and then the next looking for a quick fix. maybe the smell is even coming from my stomach i dont know but i should stick with the probiotics ...   [retrieve this message]
  • relationship need help by #167154   4 mon  402  Relationship / Sex
     
    i have been with my boyfriend for almost nine years and have lived together for over three years. before we moved in together things were great we had been together for five years and the sexua| relationship had dipped slightly. as we lived with our parents it didnt bother me and thought we are getting our own house so everything will be fine. once we got the house things just carried on going downhill on that side. on a general day to day we get on great we are best friends and really enjoy spending time with each other he is a great guy its just the sexua| relationship. it started going ...   [retrieve this message]
    • you've cum to the right place. by John McCain 2008   4 mon  452
       
      I’ve answered a ton of questions in my day, believe me, you aren’t the first or the last to have zero sex with a bf or husband. This isn’t about you. Trust me when I say this to you...it’s about your guy. Women need to hear this because their self esteem and inner confidence buckles easily compared to a guy’s. We guys just brush it off, blame somebody, and move on to the next subject. Just like you describe...he excuses the elephant in the room with not multiple orgasms...but multiple ”reasons”. ... ... I find your action to be quite normal. Hey, sex is a biggie. It’s Top 3 in any relati ...   [retrieve this message]
    • another thing that just isn't right about this... by John McCain 2008   4 mon  378
       
      NINE YEARS DATING AND 3 YEARS LIVING WITH???????? That’s a long, long, long time to not have a full understanding that this is the one. Women, on average, should take about 2 total years of dating in order to find out EVERYTHING about the guy and then make a decision. Go forward or dump him. Life is harsh, and your life is your life. Nine years with a guy that you still have doubts about says volumes. Obviously, you don’t like the situation as it stands...and it will never change. Nine years is your crystal ball. About 7 too many if you ask me. My crystal ball is ultra clear on th ...   [retrieve this message]
  • did husband really mean it on twitter? by angela21   7 mon  492
     
    Most people say that if a woman is interesting, has her own life and is chilled regarding life, men are hooked. But i notice a couple who are very rich and popular. Husband stays out of home frequently for work. ... The woman is very outgoing, frequently out with her 7-8 girlfriends at the bar, at pubs and at other places, even hosting big dinner parties for 14 people at the bars/restaurants. ... ... The woman spends a lot of time dressing up, doing makeup, going to casinos/spas with friends, taking her photos wherever she goes and leaves the 4 year old child at home with babysitters. ... Shes even g ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Once again, this sounds awfully familiar by BlueRose   6 mon  460
       
      http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1949855#i   [End]
    • you cannot be serious. by John McCain 2008   6 mon  369
       
      Guys like this are plenty. The wife wants to continue her lifestyle, the husband wants to do as many women as he can. This is and has been the eternal way of life since marriage dynamics began. And with today’s freakshow morals at all time lows...why are you even surprised? That’s the real question...this surprises you? A woman will sell her moral soul for financial security (aks MONEY) and the husband knows it. Why should he care...he’s doing everybody!   [End]
      • Re: you cannot be serious. by ATeasweet   5 mon  249
         
        Lol I bit the apple to money makes me cum lol. And he can hit screw them all him or her. I can’t stop him. Being married to a broke man is like riding bike with no wheels its just not go work. Like the old saying and Tyler Perrys movie I can do bad by myself without dead weight. I shall rise Im a survivor. I like being single for the most part and not married.dont have to answer to no one or worry if someoned cheating or being pressure into sex. Or being told your like your mother and he tried to sleep with mother if not conquered. I think back and it wasnt all its crack up to be Im glad I ...   [retrieve this message]
  • I let him ruin me. I never told anyone who knows me irl. by #159363   7 mon  1,281  Rape / Abuse Phys / Relationsh / 4 / 5
     
    In the first half of my sophomore year my exboyfriend raped me at a party, he was three years older than me and a wrestler, we had been going out for two years when this happened. I didnt look at him for weeks, i couldnt. I was too humiliated to face the reality and i guess i didnt want to. I stayed with him and convinved myself i was happy. Now that i look back on it i stopped loving him before he had done what he did. Part of my convincing myself i was happy was letting him do what he wanted to me whenever he wanted and telling myself i wanted it too. I didnt want to admit to my friends ...   [retrieve this message]
    • you are loved by Matrix101   7 mon  919
       
      It took courage to write what you did about the incident...know that you are loved and accepted by many good people here, in heaven and in your family. ... ... You asked why has this happened. The first reason is that you experienced a trauma that happened in the past. The trauma was powerful enough to damage the nervous system. From that point onward, the physical pain and unconscious energies remained in your subconscious mind. ... ... Whenever you meet a new male, you remember and associate the pain you experienced with your ex-boyfriend and then disaster sets in and you reject him and run away ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: I let him ruin me. I never told anyone who knows me irl. by BlueRose   7 mon  991
       
      I’m sorry that you went through this. That said, it sounds like you never got any counseling, am I right? If so, please take the next step and call the RAINN Hotline at: 1-800-656-HOPE. In addition, take a look at their website: ... ... http://www.rainn.org/ ... ... When you call the hotline, the person on the other end of the line can help you find counseling. Also, discuss the possibility of pressing charges against your ex-boyfriend. If he did this to you, he will do it to other women if he isn’t stopped. ... ... Best of luck to you. Please take that first step toward healing and call the hotline.   [retrieve this message]
      • Call the number by SoulfulSurvivor   7 mon  2,718
         
        I am so sorry that you had those experiences.  Blue Rose is spot-on.  Please, understand this truth:  if you make the choice to get counseling and process this experience in a healthy manner, your life won’t be defined by the actions of one individual.  If you pretend that you can "handle it" on your own, the next several years will be a lonely, frightening span of time.  ... ... There are some things that we’re just not equipped to process without help.  Call the number that Blue Rose posted.  Do it for yourself, and do it for the sakes of othe ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: I let him ruin me. I never told anyone who knows me irl. by survivor23   7 mon  830
       
      I can relate to what you are saying. Like you, I met my now abusive ex husband in college when I was very very young. ... ... We married and had a child together, and he was horribly abusive, violent wise, but it wasnt blatant right off the bat. ... ... When the abuse starts, its very subtle, and you will find that this is the case most of the time. Perpetrators violate your boundaries a little bit at a time, so they wont be detected. But after you link memories over a signficant period of time, you start to see the big picture, and yes, its a very UGLY one. ... ... First, the abuse started out as ina ...   [retrieve this message]
    • you aren't ruined...you just might be some lucky guy's sweetheart. by John McCain 2008   4 mon  453
       
      You have an inner sweetness that comes through when I read your message. I think you’re very worth it. And I’ll tell you another thing: EVERYBODY, and I mean EVERYBODY has varying degrees of ugly handed to them in this life. It’s simple for me to say, tough for you to hear, but if you stand up straight and tall...I promise you there is a good, solid, handsome guy out there that wants you to be his right now. Close your eyes right now and from this day forth, concentrate each day to minimize the ugly event that took place. Eventually, you will allow the beautiful woman you are to surf ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: I let him ruin me. I never told anyone who knows me irl. by This   34 days  118
       
      IMO, the feelings or impulses to allow your b.f. to rape you was implanted within you at an earlier age by some other man, possibly your dad or a close relative, so you were set up to be a vulnerable doormat/victim way before even meeting the guy who raped you. ... re: I stayed with him and convinved myself i was happy. ... this: You probably learned to ”convince your self” (DENIAL) after the earlier childhood violations of you by a family member so you could comfortably go on living with that person since you couldn’t escape from the offender. ... ... re: Why is it like this now? After almost fi ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: I let him ruin me. I never told anyone who knows me irl. by samuelrogers   32 days  133
       
      I think you have really made yourself a victim in one way or the other. All you need is someone to help you get out of this obscured situation someone who could make you understand waht is good for you and how you can improvize it to make your life better. I would recommend you a very good person named Shikoba who will definitely help you out with your situation. Contact her ASAP! ...   [End]
    • Re: I let him ruin me. I never told anyone who knows me irl. by Kadima   17 days  70
       
      Hello. ... ... I just came across your message, and know I can help you. ... ... If you do need help, please let me know. ... ... Warmly, ... Eugeniya   [End]
  • Worth A Look by SoulfulSurvivor   7 mon  694  NPD: Narcissism Surv / Abuse Phys / Relationsh
     
    The following article was written by a licensed counseling social worker and posted on LoveFraud.com.  This article is very well worth the time it takes to read.  ... ... http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2012/10/11/why-we-don%e2%80%99t-believe-in-badness/ ...   [End]
  • Social Networks and NO CONTACT by SoulfulSurvivor   7 mon  2,282  NPD: Narcissism Surv / Abuse Phys / Codependen / 4 / 5
     
    NO CONTACT is the first rule of recovery from toxic relationships.  Especially in cases of sociopathic behaviors and abuse, the source targets (or, victims) feel the need to make the toxic person hear and understand what they’ve experienced.  The harsh truth is that the spath doesn’t care, didn’t care, and never will "care."  They don’t.  And, they won’t.  So, trying to "fix" things or educate the spath about what they’ve done is a waste of time and keeps the victims connected to the toxicity. ... ... Going "No Contact" is difficult, b ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Further discusion by SoulfulSurvivor   7 mon  2,145
       
      The benefit and purpose of "No Contact" is to put and end to the madness and to take back control of our own lives, thoughts, feelings, and actions.  Technological "contact" with the toxic person is a self-inflicted injury when we choose to view their online social profiles and posts after we have discovered that the person in question has deliberately caused harm.  Certainly, the toxic individual isn’t going to post anything truthful, and playing out the aspects of one’s life through technological means is causing human beings to literally lose thei ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Further discusion by #154829   7 mon  1,927
         
        WEll versed soul survior! ... ... I, too had to cut off my ties to individuals that are emotionally toxic and they have no boundaries at all. ... Some are so detrimental to my health that I found myself in bed and could hardly scrape myself off the floor for years. ... ... The best thing I did was stand up to them, call them on it, denial of course and until I forced them to own it. ... Then there are others as you say a waste of oxygen, they can be so draining if allowed to continue their abusive ways. ... When it is family members this is the toughest of all. ... I had to block many phone numbers recently an ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Spath as parents by SoulfulSurvivor   7 mon  1,980
           
          I’m reading that you’re unhappy in your marriage and that you have two children with your husband.  I understand the fear of severing a marriage when children are invovled.  But, I can tell you one truth that is ugly:  your children are learning how to be victims or predators, themselves, by watching and absorbing the dynamics of this "family." ... ... Why are you resorting to manipulations to get simple needs met?  Manipulations are toxic no matter who’s having to resort to employing them, and for whatever circumstances.  And, your children are learning this ...   [retrieve this message]
          • Re: Spath as parents by #154829   7 mon  2,229
             
            I have been reading all morning on sociopaths. ... ... That is him to a T. ... ... I am making my plans to leave. ... ... Thank you   [End]
  • Heart is broken, help!! by SunflowerGirl1121   8 mon  1,190  Codependency / Abuse Phys / Anxiety / 4
     
    I have made some very bad choices that I am really afraid of. ... ... ... I’m a 23 year old girl who broke up with my fiancé of three years about three months ago. He was kind, caring, sweet and dependable. He was always willing to listen and put me first. For some reason that I do not understand yet, the relationship started to get boring for me. He was a nice man but he didn’t do many of the things I wanted to do at the time and my friends said he was a little controlling and overly emotional. I thought I would find more happiness if I called things off. ... ... Things went ok for a while until I st ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Heart is broken, help!! by SoulfulSurvivor   8 mon  1,166
       
      www.lovefraud.com ...   [End]
    • Re: Heart is broken, help!!   R by SoulfulSurvivor   8 mon  966
       
      SunflowerGirl1121, I don’t know if you checked out the website that I posted, above, but there are numerous "Red Flags" that are screaming, flapping, and waving about your situation. ... ... If I read your post correctly, you indicate that you are a pathological liar.  If I read wrong, then, please accept my sincere apology.  If you are a pathological liar and you know that you are, then you have a choice to either sort it out, or not.  There are 2 reasons for pathological lying:  a> lying out of fear of rejection/abandonment, or  b> lying to contro ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Heart is broken, help!! by SunflowerGirl1121   8 mon  794
         
        I found this incredibly eye-opening. ... ... He is a scarily intelligent man who spends most of his time trying to figure out the truth behind the government and most of history. He makes me feel like he is the only person I can trust for valid information. He has cheated on me, insists that I have cheated on him (when we first started seeing each other he had specified that we should be sexually exclusive, but i didn’t realize he meant that i shouldn’t go on dates with other people. later this turned into a massive argument in which he claimed i was incapable of feeling real emotions and form ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Keep reading.... by SoulfulSurvivor   8 mon  1,015
           
          SunflowerGirl1121, before you react to anything about this man, just read the articles and posts at www.lovefraud.com.  It could save your life, literally. ... ... These people engage in "gaslighting" and brainwashing - they take away what we have:  empathy, goals, ethics, and our own sense of self.  They do it for money, sex, control, and personal entertainment.  They do not have empathy.  They do not have a conscience  They do not feel remorse or pity.  The damages that I’ve experienced from over 12 years of marriage to a sociopath destroyed ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Broken heart......... by #158563   8 mon  866
       
      You are so young. Live your life and forget about him. Co-dependence is hard to get over. You have to realize that is part of that problem with constant thinking of him. ... ... How long have you been without him or another man now? ... I am not expert but, I have figured out what I want in life and it isnt a man who controls me but one who uplifts me and encourages me to do things on my own. ... ... I wish you a lot of luck and if you feel like anything I have said helps I know some more. ... ... I am not expert. Just recognize the reason you need the other person in your life.   [End]
    • Re: Heart is broken, help!! (Edited by Moderator) by richard02   6 mon  594
       
      No one in this world can claim not having done mistakes. We do make mistakes and even bring the guild with us long term.   [End]
    • Re: Heart is broken, help!! by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  459
       
      I suggest you to go away from him and also forget all the things behind which has happened to you. That is your past so leave things behind and move to a happy life. ... ... ... ... ... ... _______ ... love problem solution ...   [End]
    • Re: Heart is broken, help!! by kim786   3 mon  309
       
      I read your story and i think you take a bad decision to get out him from your life. Because according to me you are lucky to have the one who love you so much. But this i know you take a lots of time to forget him ,lots of memory are connected with him. Feel free or if you want to back him again in life then once try to talk him or if not then move towards that side where you make yourself engage in other thing which make you feel better a little. ... ... ... ... ... ... _______________ ... [url=”http://www.lovemarriagesolution.com/”]Lover vashikaran solution[/url] ... ... ...   [End]
  • What I've Learned   RN by SoulfulSurvivor   8 mon  1,690  NPD: Narcissism Surv / Abuse Phys / Divorce / 4 / 5
     
    I have been a reader and poster on CureZone for many years, and there have been times when this site was pivotal in my healing processes, especially where my health was concerned.  ... ... I started this board formyself and other people who were in doubt of their relationships with narcissists and sociopaths, and for those who struggling on their healing paths.  I never thought when I started this board that I would have married another sociopath of a different sort. ... ... It has been almost a year-to-the-date that I discovered that the person that I had been married to for ove ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: What I've Learned by BlueRose   8 mon  1,401
       
      SS---Excellent post filled with helpful info for others! ... ... You’ve been on my mind and I’m glad that you posted this update. ... ... Please know that I send hugs your way and wish you all the best!   [End]
    • Re: What I've Learned by Katara   7 mon  1,728
       
      Hello Soulful Survivor, ... ... I am happy to find your forum. It is needed. ... ... You are going to make it! I too have been involved with a N and have not extricated myself yet because of family business where adult children are involved. ... ... I, like you, know where I want to be and need to be emotionally but get frustrated that I am not there yet. Healing is a process ... ... We must be patient and trust in the higher power to guide us. You are loved. ... ... I hope you will continue to post.   [End]
    • Re: What I've Learned by #136970   7 mon  1,088
       
      ... ... "I’m not very far along my healing path, and I stumble and falter, ... often...." ... ... An awareness or realization that one has pain that they’ve not worked on is ... 90% of the healing process.  Give yourself loads of credit for what you’ve ... learned and the direction that it has taken you in your healing journey.  I ... can’t remember her name but there was a University of Washington psychology ... professor in the Seattle area who had a call in radio program who would many ... times repeat her mantra "Life is three steps forward, and then two steps ... back" and it’s very t ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: What I've Learned by This   33 days  135
       
      Dear SoulfulSurvivor: ... ... ... Thank you for this informative and hopeful post. I appreciated all of it and have been down a similar path of emotional recovery in 12 step support groups. ... I wish that you had gone more deeply into your recovery process rather than the ”compound fracture” thing because, IMO, healing damaged feelings is way different than healing a compound fracture. I would have liked to see all the subtle details of fixing damaged feelings rather than a compound fracture although, in some ways, the process is the same. But then, perhaps just dropping a few hints for repairin ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Extremely abusive husband by #157197   9 mon  1,666  Beaten Wives / Abuse Phys / Women’s Fo / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    I don’t have anyone to speak to. ... I have been married for 26 years, after the first year or so of marriage he used psychological abuse which grew extreme. But it is only the last five or six years that the physical abuse has occurred. ... We live very remote, he tells me whilst hitting me how he could feed my body to the pigs and there would be no evidence left, his threats are vile. ... Many many times he has held my throat, with his eyes popping out, and salivaring while screaming abuse at me, i have been left with bruises around my throat and suffered two perforated ear drums. ... Last night he ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Extremely abusive husband by #38782   9 mon  1,415
       
      Very sorry to hear this. There must surely be the possibility of you being able to call a special tel. nr. for abused women and get some advise. ... I´m hoping someone with more knowledge will answer your mail and be able to help you more. ... God bless you!   [End]
      • Re: Extremely abusive husband by BlueRose   9 mon  1,391
         
        Call --- 1(800) 799-SAFE This is a hotline for battered women. The person on the other end of the line will help you get out of your nightmarish situation. ... ... Also, look at: ... ... http://www.thehotline.org/ ... ... For more info. ... ... Please make the first move! From the sound of it---and I don’t mean to be harsh but this must be said---your husband will eventually kill you. ... ... Call the hotline when he is out of the house. Tell them your story and don’t leave anything out. Tell the person on the other end of the line exactly what you wrote here and also be sure to add every detail that you ca ...   [retrieve this message]
    • get out by SoulfulSurvivor   9 mon  1,446
       
      I am so sorry that you’ve experienced this for so long.  There is only one way to stop this abuse, and he’s not going to do it - you will.  You’ll stop it by leaving, and leaving ASAP.  When abusers choose isolated living arrangements, it’s not to live a self-sufficient and self-sustaining lifestyle.  It’s so that they can perpetrate their crimes against their victims without the fear of witnesses.  I know this from personal experience.  ... ... You know what you’re dealing with, and you may not realize that you are a valuable part of this vast Universe after ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Extremely abusive husband by RONBN49   9 mon  1,397
       
      ever hear of a colt 45 to the knee cap   [End]
      • seriously? by SoulfulSurvivor   9 mon  1,280
         
        Ronbn49, have you ever shot someone in self-defense?  Have you ever been arrested for aggravated assault?  That’s a pretty glib response to someone who’s in dire need of serious suggestions. ...   [End]
        • Re: seriously? by blonde100   9 mon  1,364
           
          I would suggest that any man who treats his wife like ths is not or should not be considered a husband - get out and safe your life as he will kill you or attempt to at some point. Just get as far away from him as possible hide in another state whatever. He will no doubt be angry and try to take revenge on you. He has not earned the right to be in your life and you will find a better more peaceful exsitence without a monster like that. There are no excuses to treat anyone in the manner he has treated you.   [End]
          • Re: seriously? by jurplesman   9 mon  1,273
             
            Speaking as a retired probation and parole officer I can say that your life is in danger. You have to get out of this situation as soon as possible. Get the help from a women’s refuge home, inform the police, carefully plan your escape.   [End]
            • Statistics by SoulfulSurvivor   9 mon  1,481
               
              Jurplesman, the unfortunate statistics with regard to the facts of domestic violence and abuse are not accurate, by a long shot.  The statistic are only gathered and combined by Law Enforcement and abuse hotlines.  There is far more abusive behavior that goes on than the general public will ever know about. ... ... Having worked as a parole officer, you’ve seen it all, and I agree with your insight on this grim situation.  I find that the original poster’s account is credible for many reasons, but the most basic reason is that it’s raw and to the point.  She needs to get the ...   [retrieve this message]
              • Re: Statistics by jurplesman   9 mon  5,924
                 
                I agree with you   [End]
                • Re: Statistics by survivor23   8 mon  1,054
                   
                  Yeah, me too. Life is totally in danger. It just a matter of when it will happen. ... ... I was in a similar situation, and I did not realize the severity of my predicament. I sought counseling, and did what my therapist and attorney told me to do. ESCAPE, but disappear when my ex leaast suspected. Otherwise, the act of leaving will escalate the violence. Better for you to be GONE GONE GONE GONE. ... ... You really dont have time, you need to get out.. But I do understand if you need to plan. Planning is always good. Do all the things to make your partner think that all is well. By now you know th ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Just checking... by SoulfulSurvivor   9 mon  1,465
       
      I’m just wondering if the Original Poster of the message has taken steps to save herself.  Please, post back when you’re able. ...   [End]
    • Re: Extremely abusive husband by venkvelaga   8 mon  1,359
       
      I’m worrying about the OP too. I’ve seen that look. Those bulging eyes like they are about to pop out of the head. My brother in law had this and he threatened to kill me. This man is harboring anger to the point of rage. The man really is crazy even if he can’t admit it to himself. There are some medical conditions which can cause this such as tumor. ... ... If you insist on staying in the relationship you could try improving the environment you live in so it is more uplifting mood. More light, fresh air, scented candles and good music. You could also adjust his diet to be more calming ...   [retrieve this message]
      • "Dead" wrong... by SoulfulSurvivor   8 mon  1,150
         
        Venkvelaga, it is not my intention to ridicule your well-meant response, but it’s wrong - DEAD wrong.  If the victim (original poster) chooses to remain with her abuser, then no amount of aromatherapy, ambient lighting, or new-age philosophy is going to prevent her eventual murder - and, from her descriptions (and, if they are even remotely accurate), she will eventually be killed by her abuser. ... ... Suggesting that the victim attempt to create an atmosphere of tranquility is the most outrageous suggestion I’ve read or heard in a long, long time, online or in Real Life.  It is ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: "Dead" wrong... by survivor23   7 mon  1,397
           
          I have second this. ... ... There is a history of abused women that make the misguided effort of taking matters into their own hands by fighting back, through 1) murder, 2) use of poisons, etc, and they get sent to prison for life!!! ... ... Seems unfair. But here is the problem. While abusive men are seen as crazy, and out of their mind, and not able to think straight, if an abused woman retaliates by intentionally and willfully hurting their husbands, then that is whole other matter. Its the basis of the law, MOTIVATION.. ... ... I agree that this post was very laughable, talking about food, incense, ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Please help!! I need some relationship advice! by Sun.is.shining   9 mon  848  Relationship / Love / Dating: Di
     
    I have been with James for 5 years. We are both 26. He is funny, sweet and makes me smile. We met in while I was attending Uni abroad in the UK. ... In the last 5 months we have just gotten engaged. ... ... Our relationship has been a majority of high’s. However, since we became engaged, I feel like I’m noticing more things that I am uncomfortable with. ... James comes from a wonderful family, but they are very old fashioned. His mum is a very hard worker, in her business life as well as at home. Every night cooking, cleaning up, washing and generally making sure James and her husband are happy. She ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Please help!! I need some relationship advice! by #13442   9 mon  749
       
      I think you have to ask yourself honestly if you can live with this for the rest of your life. He is used to living this way his whole life and now that he is getting married and on his own, he has to learn certain things now, changes he will have to learn to accept. If it was me, I would have this talk with him, let him know how this is affecting the relationship and give him sometime to learn and grow and adapt to new lifestyle change, and not marry him or live with him unless changes start to happen. on the other hand, living with him can also be good, but you have to be strong. Make a ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Please help!! I need some relationship advice! by BlueRose   9 mon  757
       
      I agree with the poster who said that the two of you need to sit down and talk this out. You need to tell James everything you’ve written here. Just lay out the facts as they are. Avoid making a direct criticism of him. Tell hin the things that bother you. Then ask him how he thinks that they should be resolved. Let him know that if the relationship is to survive, resolving these problems is necessary. ... ... If he balks at making major changes or promises you that he will pull his weight, then reneges---it will be up to you to decide what to do next. ... ... Would it be acceptable for you to ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Please help!! I need some relationship advice! by Michael B   9 mon  1,016
       
      Some honest advice? ... ... Find out who you are. ... ... You live in a fantasy world of designer watches, wealthy families, and well paying careers and relationships full of smiles and ”highs” thrown your way without any effort on your part, and it doesn’t sound like you have had to struggle or genuinely suffer a single day of your life. ... ... If you cannot even express the BASIC levels of communication with someone- then the relationship is not based on anything REAL because neither of you live in the REAL WORLD and it will not work out in the long run. ... ... So, first find out who you are underneathe ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Please help!! I need some relationship advice! by Raynbo   8 mon  662
         
        This answer is a bit harsh...and judgmental to boot by saying you have never suffered a day in your life...but there may be some truth in that, as you do sound a bit young and superficial. A relationship based on smiles and highs and without honest communication is not a healthy one that is likely to withstand the many demanding challenges of marriage. ... ... You can also bet that if his mamma has spoiled him to the extent you say, it might take a lot of time and work to change that...and even then only if he truly wants to change. ... ... Hint hint: When someone loves you, they want to make ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: Please help!! I need some relationship advice! by Michael B   8 mon  778
           
          "Harsh"? I would say more like a breathe of fresh air . And your use of the word "judgemental" is certainly incorrect. I was perhaps a bit "presumptuous", but certainly not judgemental. Afterall, I am sure at one point in their life a bird has shat on their brand new rolls royce, causing immense suffering. Learning and growing from such heartbreaking experiences certainly has led to profound character development and deep compassion, evidenced in James for example, who cannot even clean up after himself. ... ...  She asked for honest advice and I gave it ...   [retrieve this message]
    • [Message Subject Hidden by a Forum Moderator] by ksushil970   7 mon  766
       
      [Message Body Hidden by a Forum Moderator]   [End]
    • love is never enough. by John McCain 2008   3 mon  227
       
      You women...boy...you women out there just hope and pray that the guy you are dating, the guy you’re engaged to will just...CHANGE SOME DAY. Every women thinks that at some time...”if I could just change ________, he’d be perfect”. Funny thing about this scenario is that guys NEVER WANT WOMEN TO CHANGE! Women want their guys to be better, guys want their women to always be like when they were dating. Truth is that you are a smart young woman to ask yourself this question. Yes, you are destined to be ”stuck”. Love is not enough. You will do most of it yourself. You’ve got to be real ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Image Embedded Love, romance and travel can be keys to health and longevity by Dquixote1217   9 mon  1,553  Life Extension/Anti / Love / Relationsh / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    Love, romance and travel can be keys to health and longevity By Tony Isaacs See more articles by this author ... ... ... (NaturalNews) Isn’t love grand? Besides being exciting and fulfilling, it also turns out that it is good for your health and longevity. Studies and experts agree: having a caring and loving relationship can lead to a healthier, happier and longer life. Traveling with a partner can make it that much better. The rest of the article. which most ladies will probably like and most men should probably read: http://www.naturalnews.com/036686_romance_health_longevity.html ... ... ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married by Dquixote1217   10 mon  1,088  Jokes for Adults / Marriage / Relationsh
     
    For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to get married, here’s a quick piece of Biblical advice: ... ... Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. ... ... While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz , Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz, or Marriedaz, & especially his cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz!" ... ...  ~Andrew Lauman ...   [End]
    • Re: Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married by sharlotflin   6 mon  521
       
      Following what the bible says is hard and very challenging. You can overcome and do it.   [End]
    • Re: Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married (!) by illysmanx   6 mon  545
       
      I’m making a great big YES on this one! God answered my prayers after rather a long wait, and when He did, I had to be the dump-er instead of the dump-ee! Sometimes when God answers prayer, he does it with a two-by-four to the back of the head and not a gift basket. I laughed, I cried, I growled at myself for allowing someone to ask me to date them. ... ... A two-by four in the sense of ’Duh, kid, here you go, I’ve been working on this case since even before you asked me!’ Turned out to be a guy I knew since high school. Perfect match. ... ... Being equally yoked is as much a joy as being unequall ...   [retrieve this message]
    • lmao!!!!! by SoulfulSurvivor   6 mon  513
       
      Thanks for posting this hilarious observation!  LMAO!!!  Considering that I’ll never be accepting applications for the rest of my life, I’m not searching for ANY "oaz!"  LMAOLMAO!!!! ... ... Thanks for the laugh - Oh, my.....LOLOL ...   [End]
    • Re: Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married by kushy   69 days  217
       
      Sorry I am unable to understand.Can any one please explain me what the message is? ... ... ... Thank you in advance.   [End]
    • Is the bible a joke to some? EOM by #13594   69 days  210
  • am i a gold digger wife and husband a cheat? by candles   11 mon  812
     
    1- I am a stay at home mom,with a 4 year old daughter but i am rarely at home with my daughter neither do i take her anywhere. My hubby wanted a child quickly after marriage, he had already thought of girl names and picked one in 06.( we married in 07, had a baby in 08) ... ... 2-I love spending time with my friends and i love taking photographs of myself.I am always with my GFs and we go to many places like bars, clubs, Saturday night shows, sports events, beaches, shopping or music concerts. I organize lots of parties with my friends and take lots of photos, and sell them to the websites on i ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: am i a gold digger wife and husband a cheat? by Herbsman   11 mon  750
       
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8-TksaLPhQ&feature=related ... ... He chose you to breed his children so be happy!!!   [End]
    • Re: am i a gold digger wife and husband a cheat? by #72252   11 mon  594
       
      What does your husband do for a living to earn 200,000 a month?  Cure cancer?  ... ... You asked members what they thought of you and your husband.  My answer is that you deserve one another.  Sadly, no child deserves such a fate. ...   [End]
    • Re: am i a gold digger wife and husband a cheat? by BlueRose   11 mon  669
       
      You ask what others think, well you’ve got it! ... ... I feel very, very sad for your daughter. She has a mother that puts partying and her own selfish interests before her child. As parents, we do need to have outside interests. However, you seem to forget one important thing---your child comes first and foremost. Writing about your partying behavior also tells me that you need to grow up. ... ... If you and your husband didn’t have a child, I would say ”Hey, to each his own.” When you put a child in the picture, things change. ... ... At some point, your child will be old enough to figure out what ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Come to think of it, this post seems awfully familiar by BlueRose   11 mon  604
       
      http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1909927#i   [End]
      • Ya, it does...... by SoulfulSurvivor   11 mon  655
         
        Blue Rose, excellent recall!  LOLOLOL  ... ... In light of that, I have no comment for the poster. ...   [End]
    • Re: am i a gold digger wife and husband a cheat? by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  300
       
      Actually it is not your fault individually. But if your husband care your child in a good way then i don’t think he cheats you. Be try to make nice and lovable environment that will really help you for good work. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... __________________ ... astrologer   [End]
  • Domestic Violence Survey by SoulfulSurvivor   11 mon  1,013  Abuse Physical/Emoti / Abused Hus / Relationsh / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    Take a few minutes to take the Domestic Violence & Abuse Survey.  Options that have a BLUE QUESTION MARK ( ? ) next to them have additional facts and information with regard to the specific question. ... ... One participant commented that they found a particular question to be "offensive."  GOOD.  We should be offended when it comes to ignorance about DV&A.  Many have been the times when friends, family members, Law Enforcement, counseling therapists, and Judges have engaged in VICTIM BLAME .  Even in this age of information ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Where's the childhood abuse survey? by #136970   11 mon  1,005
       
      ... ... "Many have been the times when friends, family members, Law ... Enforcement, counseling therapists, and Judges have engaged in VICTIM ... BLAME...." ... ... So true.  As a child (male) who was sexually and physically abused by ... adults and siblings I learned that as an adult I didn’t dare approach a family ... member to talk about it, let alone accuse them.  Particularly the sexual ... abuse from an older sibling who, educated and working in a professional field I ... know would have literally killed me if I were to ever mention it to ... anybody.  He had a pistol and would have used ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Write one! by SoulfulSurvivor   11 mon  1,017
         
        You can write a survey, yourself!  It’s probably a really good idea to get all questions prepared and any links/facts researched.  GOOD IDEA!!! ...   [End]
    • What is this? by uchihaMadara   11 mon  1,191
       
      Where may I obtain this ”education?” ... ... Domestic as in at home or as a country? ... ... Violence verbally, physically, or other? ... ... Abuse, a redundancy of violence? ... ... Please clarify.   [End]
      • Re: What is this? by SoulfulSurvivor   11 mon  1,255
         
        Where may I obtain this "education?"  "Education" with regard to Domestic Violence and Abuse may be had by visiting www.ndvh.org, or by Google searching "domestic violence facts." ... ... Domestic as in at home or as a country?  Really?  It can be both - "domestic" in the original message refers to family violence and/or abuse.  Different countries have different views and approaches to the epidemic of family violence and/or abuse. ... ... Violence verbally, physically, or other?  If you need to ask this question, then it may b ...   [retrieve this message]
        • biased site by uchihaMadara   11 mon  920
           
          Where may I obtain this ”education?”  ”Education” with regard to Domestic Violence and Abuse may be had by visiting www.ndvh.org, or by Google searching ”domestic violence facts.” ... ...   ... ... I went there and it automatically assumes that men abuse women. Little do they know, many women abuse men - mostly with words, throwing plates from kitchens, etc. ... ... The site is at least noble enough to suggest to people being ”abused” to get out of those relationships and seek help. ...   [End]
          • So sorry.... by SoulfulSurvivor   11 mon  921
             
            ...that you found the site "biased."  The unfortunate fact is that men rarely report domestic violence/abuse and experience extreme criticism and ridicule if they file a criminal complaint, let alone try to discuss the issue with someone. ... ... There is information out there with regard to abused/battered men.  You just have to do some research to find it. ...   [End]
  • "Why Some Just Can't Find a Mate". by #154426   11 mon  481
     
    ... ... This Awareness indicates that it is surprising that there are so many entities out there looking for a mate who think that the attitude of walking around with their heart on their sleeve, carrying a broken heart for everyone to see, would be attractive, would make them attractive to a mate. In all likelihood it is to romance what leprosy would be to health, and an entity carrying a sign of a broken heart would be more likely to drive away the person they seek rather than draw that person in. ... ... If entities must manipulate and use this kind of ploy, they should at least understand that ...   [retrieve this message]
  • How Expectation Can Ruin a Relationship. by #154426   11 mon  435
     
    ... ... This Awareness indicates that entities who in relationship with one another, have personal expectations of the other, or who have personal expectations of the relationship, who have an ideal as to what they believe a relationship should be, can in actuality hinder their relationship with the other through that ideal and the expectations which they hold. ... ... This Awareness suggests that the entity who does not bring expectations to the relationship, who does not attempt to mold and stuff there mate into a pattern for ideal, but who looks at the mate, and discovers that mate for what he o ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: How Expectation Can Ruin a Relationship. by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  216
       
      Yes it is fact that expectation can ruin relation.Because if more expect from the one we love and he does not fulfill our expectation.Then it becomes ridiculous and it takes a step to break or spoil relation. So i suggest you to not expect from the loved ones. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... __________ ... Love Problem Solution ... ...   [End]
    • Re: How Expectation Can Ruin a Relationship. by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  215
       
      Yes basically expectation is some time responsible to spoil any relationship. The reason behind this is one can start expecting in a blind manner from our close ones. The other one can not fulfill that.This is ignored sometimes ,but this increases many more times and exceed a limit. It at last take any strong bonding to the destroy level. So to save any relation d0n’t expect more. ... ... ... ... ... ... ____________ ... Marriage Problems Specialist ... ... ... ... ... ... ...   [End]
  • “Problems in being too Possessive of Another”. by #154426   11 mon  547
     
    This Awareness indicates that possessiveness is simply a matter of degree of ownership. If entities are too insecure in their love for one another, they demand more from each other, and if one is more insecure and the other is less insecure, then the insecure person, the person with the greatest insecurities, will be more possessive of the other. Usually, this creates dissatisfaction on behalf of the one who is not so insecure, and the entity is dissatisfied with having someone become too clinging, too demanding, to possessive, and the entity finds his or her sense of personal freedom be ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Should I stay or move on, I need advice! by donitarose   12 mon  587
     
    I don’t know if my problem is as big as some of the issues that I’ve read on this forum but for me it’s huge so I hope someone can take the time to give me advice. ... ... I’m in a relationship for almost 5 years now and the last year has been very, very rocky. My boyfriend has always been not much of a talker, always keeping his feelings to himself and not very talkative period. He’s just this calm and sweet guy and that’s what made me fall for him. After 3 years we moved in together and that’s when reality hit me. Always guessing what he’s thinking about/ of etc. As I said, the past year has ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Should I stay or move on, I need advice! by herb-gal   12 mon  534
       
      I think you should tell him how you feel, and that you are thinking about leaving...not because of what you’ve found, but because you don’t believe he’s being honest about it. ... ... If he can’t muster up the energy to fight back against his ex, rather than just blaming it all on her, then he’s probably not going to fight for you.   [End]
  • He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by hockeymom   12 mon  2,008  Marriage / Divorce / Relationsh / 4
     
    My husband used to want it two times a day if not more. Over the last three months we have made love three times. I’m the one who initiated two of those times. I have asked what is going on and tried to figure it out and I just don’t get it. I have not gained any weight I dress in sexy clothing. I have asked if there is another woman and he has told me no. He says he loves me and that there is nothing wrong with me, but I feel like I’m not doing it for him anymore. We have been married for almost 15 years. I don’t know what to think or do, what is my next step?   [End]
    • Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by princeofsin   12 mon  1,887
       
      Sounds like you two need to sit down and talk. It could be monotony that could be issue here and you might need to change something up regarding to sex. Also it can be due to physical attraction between you and him. Regardless of what it is DO NOT blame yourself for anything. This is not your fault in anyway. As a woman you have needs and from what you have described he is not meeting them so let him know that.   [End]
    • Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by AngelofEventide   12 mon  1,749
       
      Has he had his testosterone levels checked? Lack of sexua| desire is very common with this and low T is very common for men as they age.   [End]
    • Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by #89866   12 mon  1,794
       
      Don’t take it personally, that’s what happens in nature as males and females age, and as the relationship ages. Contrary to popular belief (in the US especially) love and sex are totally different things - they can be related but still they are totally different experiences. As a matter of fact the term ”make love” is very misleading and just sets people up for problems and disappointment - it says ”he doesn’t LOVE me unless we bump our private parts together”. Call it what it is - ”having sex” - so you don’t set yourself up to blowing it out of proportion if in fact his desire to bump ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by M2R2   12 mon  1,707
       
      There is discussion group called I Live In a Sexless Marriage with over 20K members and reading those stories will help you a lot   [End]
    • Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by Raynbo   10 mon  1,668
       
      This is an older post, so I may be too late. All the answers you got were good ones....but I picked up on how you said this has been going on ”over the last three months”. That is very sudden. I think your husband should not only have his testerone levels checked, but he should have a full physical...and he should tell the doctor about his sudden lack of interest in sex. ... ...   [End]
    • Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by #157556   9 mon  1,622
       
      Is your husband a ”gamer” (video games)? does he spend a lot of time on his computer. He might be getting his fill thru porn. Also Gaming takes up those precious few hours at night. Try making love in the morning.   [End]
    • are you still giving him head? by John McCain 2008   6 mon  894
       
      I’ll be blunt, a lot of women get lazy when it comes to making a guy cum. Guys like their cocks sucked, just like women like their clits licked to orgasm. It takes work, it takes a drive to succeed, it takes committment. I guarantee the world would be a better place if women, well into their marriage, would concentrate more on orgasmic sex than housework or other drab things of marriage. Guys want sex and they want it hot. Wives want the same thing, too, but after all the other things have been done. Sex for women in 15 year marriages is typically not hot. He’s probably bored with t ...   [retrieve this message]
  • [Message Subject Hidden by a Forum Moderator] by Al Teng   13 mon  1,047  Introduce Yourself / Astrology / Feng Shui / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    [Message Body Hidden by a Forum Moderator]   [End]
    • Re: Free Ba Zi Astrology Reading & BaZi Analysis by then1   12 mon  2,379
       
      There is no good fortune or bad fortune, it’s all life experience. when you are not in the good luck mode you can see and learn alot of things in life. There is a web site could tell you which mode you are in. www.destinyfortune.com is free online reading. The reading is match with my moment situation. Try it out. Something about I Ching reading.   [End]
  • Will I ever get over him? by herb-gal   13 mon  1,040  Relationship / Depression
     
    I’m almost embarassed/ashamed to be posting here today. ... I just need to vent. ... I don’t want to get over him (there’s my answer, right?). I want him back. It’s been over a year since we ended our 6-year relationship. ... We started talking again a couple of months ago...just initiated by him, out of nowhere, with the late night confessions of how much we miss each other and how hard it is adjusting to being without one another. There were a coupole of phone conversations at the beginning but mostly just texting which has died down a bit. Nothing about getting back together, just life...I think ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Will I ever get over him? by #136970   13 mon  995
       
      ... ... Be careful what you pray for... you might just get it! ... ... An ancient truism that applies to what’s happening to you.  You’re ... learning to simply let go, and be yourself.  Unless of course you enjoy the ... world of torment that you have created for yourself. ... ...   ... ... ... ...   [End]
    • Re: Will I ever get over him? by princeofsin   13 mon  940
       
      With all due respect but I must say you have given so much emotional attachment to one man. You are using a external source to determine your happiness which will never lead to anything. If you REALLY want to be happy you must first love yourself before you love anyone else.   [End]
    • Re: Will I ever get over him? by #28223   13 mon  1,007
       
      Oh, Gal! Read the last two posts above mine as many times as you need to do so until they sink in. ... ... Have you thought about all the grief you were put through when you were dating/living with him? All the times he cheated on you? The 2 abortions that still haunt you? Then ask yourself why you would want to go back to more of the same. I’m sorry if all that was harsh but you really need to think this through. If I recall correctly, you broke up with him at least 2 times in the past, yet went right back to him. You thought that each time he had changed and that things were going to g ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Will I ever get over him? by herb-gal   13 mon  903
         
        ...and there’s my cue. ... Thank you, thank you so much for bringing that up. Aside from the severe emotional symptoms from PMDD I get which cause me to become suicidal every time memories of my lost children get triggered, I’m glad you could manage to flat-out bring it up out of nowhere, right after that phase of the month tapered down so that I wouldn’t drive my car into a lake. Thanks. ... ... Also, thank you for bringing up posts I made under my anonymous username into my real user name previously and currently so that I have no anonymity whatsoever. You, however, remain anonymous and cryptica ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: Will I ever get over him? by #28223   13 mon  923
           
          I wanted a response to my current post, not reminders of ranting vents I’ve posted over the years. ... ------------------ ... And that’s what you did get---a response. No one is claiming to know all the details of your relationship. However, when giving you advice, posters only have to go on what you’ve written. ... ... As for your anonymous posts, it was you who outed yourself. When you posted anonymously, I didn’t call you by your full screen-name. You also mentioned what happened in your relationship using both your name and your anonymous number. ... ... Still---I do wish you the best and urge you ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Will I ever get over him? by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  267
       
      Your story is quite serious and sad also.Your story tells that you want back him in your life again after a breakup.So i suggest you that if you want to move again in that relation then be mature about the mistake which may be a big reason behind your breaking relationship.So if you learn and get the solution of these problems then you can take another chance to again get your lover in your life.   [End]
    • Re: Will I ever get over him? by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  271
       
      Yes may be you will get over him.But it all possible if you want and have a strong determination to do so.Some times we get so hurted at that time we are unable to take any right decision to sort out our problems.So I assure that if you have strong desire and wish and also having positive attitude then it will quite helpful to get over him.   [End]
    • Re: Will I ever get over him? by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  290
       
      Yes if you want to get over him then you can do so.But for this you have strong determination in your mind for this.   [End]
    • Re: Will I ever get over him? by aahnaagrwal   5 mon  277
       
      I would suggest that if you want to do that then it is very easy for you.The thing is you have to forget the time when you with him/her and all memory which make you hurt.This will really good for you.Its also better for you to move towards other thing which will keep your mind diverted from him/her.In a precis manner i would only say if you want then you can do that. ... ... ... ... ... ... _____________ ... love problem solution ...   [End]
  • Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by BlueRose   14 mon  1,893  Relationship / Law of Att / Abuse Phys
     
    I’m interested in hearing what others think about this issue. ... ... Do you think that it helps to move away from an area when there are bad memories? I know that when you move, you take all your memories with you. However, when you go someplace locally and you see things that trigger bad memories, it can be difficult. ... ... A little bit of background --- Our daughter put us through a lot of grief which culminated with her flunking out of college due to partying. In trying to find out what went wrong, I found out a lot of things that I didn’t know about previously. Now, driving around the ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by #136970   14 mon  1,756
       
      ... ... If you were to move away from past time negative images you would be allowing ... things outside of yourself to control you.  When "things" outside ... of you control you, you are not in control of yourself.  You say you are ... going through a process.  Time truly does heal - and patience is a big ... helper. ... ... Flunking out of college is not the end of the world.  It is your ... daughter’s creation.  She has to live with it in her own way and it may in ... fact open other doors that will bring her greater satisfaction.  I in fact ... flunked out of the school of ar ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by BlueRose   14 mon  1,726
         
        Thank you for a thoughtful and useful post. There was more to it than just flunking out. To get into all the details would require a very long post. ... ... I’m very sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best.   [End]
        • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by #136970   14 mon  1,783
           
          ... ... Thank you. ... ... Oh I’m sure there’s much more to the story - there always is.  Yet at ... the same time there is also your daughter’s story, from her perspective.  ... ... I was a lousy father but in my long healing journey, not without many bumps ... in the road, I’ve developed a love for children I never knew existed within ... me.  As I’ve told my ex at family gatherings if I had it to do over again ... I’d have a minimum of five. ... ... I was sexually abused by both genders as a child, suicidal as a teen and went ... through difficulties as a young adult.  I think that it is the teens a ...   [retrieve this message]
          • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by BlueRose   14 mon  1,793
             
            Whatever you do, you have no reason to ever trash yourself. Yet as a parent I know it’s difficult not to. That too is a learning experience. ... ... --------------- ... Thank you for the above. I think that one reason I’m having difficulty with what happened with our daughter was that I set out to be a better mother than my own mother was to us kids. I’ve written about my childhood previously here on CZ. In a nutshell, my mother was a narcissist, alcoholic plus verbally and emotionally abusive. My father was the perfect enabler who didn’t stand up for us kids, basically throwing us under the ...   [retrieve this message]
    • It depends.... by SoulfulSurvivor   14 mon  1,772
       
      Hugs, Blue Rose! ... ... I personally don’t feel that relocating is a bad idea or an avoidance of living and  healing.  Sometimes, our experiences create such a deep scar that certain triggers slice open the healing and pour salt on the open wound, so to speak. ... ... In my case, leaving places behind that have been the source of intense emotional trauma has been cathartic on many levels.  One of the greatest things that my counseling therapist has told me, over and over, is that "feelings are not facts."  How I feel about something is valid, but those feelings aren’t ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: It depends.... by BlueRose   14 mon  1,719
         
        Thank you so much, SS! ... ... I keep going back to what you wrote, particularly the following: ... ... Relocating, in some people’s views, may be an attempt to run from a situation. Other people may view relocation as an opportunity to start over. It depends entirely upon what the motivations are. ... --------------- ... ... That is so true. I have a brother who is never happy where he lives. He is always looking at some other place and thinks that life will be so much better in the other place. For example, he’ll point out things that he hates about the current area he lives in, then point to anothe ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Journaling by SoulfulSurvivor   14 mon  1,687
           
          Big hugs to you, Blue Rose.  Keep journaling whenever you feel that grief rolling in.  Write it down and spare no words of any type.  Use profanities and express it all, especially anger that you  may towards your daughter.  That anger (don’t I know it?) can fester and become an absolute obsession - don’t they KNOW what they’ve done?  Don’t they CARE?  ... ... Is your daughter living with you, now?  Gosh, but I really feel for you, Blue Rose.  ... ... Brightest blessings to you, my dear. ...   [End]
          • Re: Journaling by BlueRose   14 mon  1,734
             
            SS, once again, thank you so much! I plan to write in my journal more frequently. ... ... Our daughter hasn’t lived with us for quite some time. After she flunked out of college, we did the tough love thing with her---and she proceeded to put us through more grief. These days, she married the father of her kids and they now live about a 3 hour drive from us. When she was living at the other end of the country, we would visit, then she would cry when we left. ... ... With all that I now know, I think one of the hardest things is that I don’t fully trust her and wonder when the other shoe will drop.   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by #116107   14 mon  1,763
       
      The deeper I go into the world of ”thoughts are things”, the more I learn. I have been helped more that I ever thought I could be with material from Joe Dispenza. I would like to suggest to you that you read his material. He has a new book out titled : ”Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself; How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One”. Joe’s story is amazing... he healed himself of a broken back with nothing but his thoughts, and has since then studied this field of how our thoughts create our reality. I think you will find his information quite helpful... and he is a neuroscientist, and ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by nancy powell   13 mon  1,709
       
      i think that, even if you move and you can not get over the bad memories becuase they are in your head you just got to focus on doing something else it would be nice to move somewhere else but you do not think that moving would work dont do it unless you are plus if you do move it will be waste of money time etc.. it is in you my dear to change. not in the place people or things it is in YOU. good choice with the law of attraction keep working on it. it really works either you undestand it or not.   [End]
    • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by herb-gal   13 mon  1,702
       
      No, I don’t think it helps. I moved 500 miles south and he moved 500 miles north. It didn’t help. The only thing that helped was that I had to move in with family and I couldn’t sit in a dark, empty apartment by myself watching movies and eating chips. ... It’s been over a year and I still cry over him at l ... east once a month. ... Bad memories are going to be triggered by anything. If it’s not physical landmarks, it’s smells, sounds, feelings, words, pictures, etc.   [End]
      • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by 123erica   13 mon  1,619
         
        When I left my abusive husband, I left the state. That was a big help. But I will tell you, even 20 years later, there are still things that bother me. I have concluded that I will never be ’normal’ again. I will get ’close’ but that’s it. ... ... Whenever I see couples hugging and kissing, I walk away. ... Whenever I see pictures of a gas mask, I throw the magazine away. ... I hoard a lot. Not as bas as I used to, but I still hoard deodorant, feminine products, toilet tissue and other stuff. I no longer hoard food. ... I have a fear of ’being without’. I no longer have bars on my windows. But I do have ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by BlueRose   13 mon  1,645
       
      Thank you, everyone, for your responses. I was looking to hear what others thought about this issue, and you all didn’t disappoint! ... ... It seems we all react differently when it comes to this topic. It got me thinking about the few times I’ve visited the town where I spent most of my childhood. For me, my childhood, overall, wasn’t happy. Yet, when I would drive by the old family home, the bad memories didn’t come flooding back right away. Instead, I found myself focussing on how different the house looked and what things in the neighborhood changed and what stayed the same. Yet, at t ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by Raynbo   10 mon  1,365
       
      Moving away from bad memories can work. In fact, it’s very powerful. ... ... But you must do it with awareness. ... ... By that I mean, you can use the new location to change your routines and lifestyle... and even your way of thinking, but you must be deliberate about it..and take great care not to fall back into your old routines and thought patterns once the newness wears off. ... ... You can do the same thing in your old location...buy new clothes...take different routes home...get a new apartment... repaint the old one, etc., but a complete change in venue is stronger medicine. ... ... It can backfire ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by BlueRose   10 mon  1,446
         
        Raynbo---I haven’t seen you here in CZ lately. Hope all is well. ... ... Recently, I was playing around with a real estate website and decided to look up one of my childhood homes. As I was looking at the photo of the house, just doing that started to dredge up old, unpleasant memories. So, quickly, I closed the page. ... ... I bring this up because living where we are now, I can’t avoid passing some places that dredge up bad memories---and believe that makes it harder to heal and move on for me. ... ... So, yes, my goal is to move out of the area at some point.   [End]
        • Positive Energies by SoulfulSurvivor   10 mon  1,435
           
          Raynbo, I really identify with your response - haven’t "seen you around," either, and also hope all is well with you! ... ... Blue Rose, I check CZ often, and I send healing energies out there for you.  Whatever change you make to help you through the grieving and recovery process will be a positive effort.  Even if it’s a simple matter of "placing your own mark" on your current home.  In this current market, unloading a property is a monumental task and, typically, comes at a huge loss of equity.  And, this is probably the first time in modern history wh ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by Raynbo   10 mon  1,429
           
          Funny you should mention that. I moved from CA to MD about three years ago, and ever since I have been toying with the idea of going back to my childhood home... in NJ, just to look around, but I’m afraid it will be depressing. ... ... Part of me wants to see those places again and part of me dosen’t. So far, I have made no attempt to go. ... ... This much I know. If I go, I will drive past my first love’s house (he is still living there now), and that will probably not do me any good. I might even park near it for awhile dressed in a hat and sunglasses just to catch a peek of him. ... ... OMG. I’m ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories? by 123erica   10 mon  1,421
           
          I graduate in August with my BA, and I am moving to Florida. Best decision can do. ... Read Extreme Psoriasis Miracle Story posted here, and you will see what mean. ... My emotional and physical health will improve greatly when I move from Tennessee to the coast of Florida. And start law school. I have only 2 weeks left. So excited! I am 46. ... Look up my name (123erica) and you will know why.   [End]
  • husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why he ... by maxxie05   14 mon  1,173  Codependency / Addiction: / Beaten Wiv / 4 / 5 / 6
     
    my husband for 10 years plus 2 boys together, i meet him in AA 10 years ago... i was there part of my program in college, i dont have drug,alcohol problem, my husband was sober when i met him, got marriage within 3 months together.. i notice he has some issue anger issue and being teretorial to me... i kinda like it first feeling wanted but then he started to become violent. to make a story short he was on and off of crack/coccaine for the intire marriege,violence come around but being young and naive thinking he is my husband for good and worst so i stick around.. conning, betrayal,steal ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why... by BlueRose   14 mon  1,150
       
      You start here: ... ... http://www.nar-anon.org/Nar-Anon/Nar-Anon_Home.html ... ... Look for a Nar-anon meeting near you. ... ... Also, here: ... ... http://www.coda.org/ ... ... Look for a Codependents Anonymous meeting near you. ... ... These are good first steps. Meetings are free of charge. However, donations are welcome. So, when you go to a meeting for either of these 2 groups, if you are able, donate what you can. ... ... Good luck to you --- and please get going!   [End]
    • He doesn't care because.... by SoulfulSurvivor   14 mon  1,133
       
      Blue Rose offered very sound suggestions and websites.  Get involved so you can heal from this. ... ... To address your concerns at the end of your post: ... ... *  If he can change and pull his life together, that’s great, but you are not responsible for his happiness, success, sobriety, or anger issues ... ... *  He does not feel the same way about you that you do for him, and he likely never will because, at this moment, he is incapable of caring for anything other than feeding his addictions - you and your children are not only secondary, but you’re all in the way of what he wants to d ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why... by ruby claire   11 mon  1,009
       
      Are you feelings sad because you don’t want to loose your husband or you don’t want to be alone ? ... ... I mean common, i agree that you love him but it does not mean that you should bare so much of pain from him. After all you are also a human being and you to deserve to live a happy life .. if you continue same then just think of the kids and your future...   [End]
      • Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why... by jurplesman   9 mon  1,012
         
         Your attachment to your brutal husband may be due to your low self-esteem and lack of self-regard that prevents you from taking control over your life. This low self-regard may stem from a similar metabolic disorder that gives rise to your husband’s behaviour and your own submissiveness. To see what you and your husband may have in common, read: ... ... ... ... ... Treatment of a Low Self Esteem ... ... Drug Addiction is a Nutritional Disorder ...   [End]
    • Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why... by ATeasweet   5 mon  366
       
      sound familar except I have daughter sounds familar with mom too except she had sons and I sum it up to they loved themselves more there crack beer sex c**k suckef ect ect than they love there family and children like Rick james put it best cocaine is a powerful drug. just pray and hope for the best for yourself from now on. No need for toxic zombies in your life they will eat you brain.Stay strong also   [End]
  • Any idea on this relationship???plz reply!!? by IsabellaellaBlaze   15 mon  588
     
    This guy belonged to a very rich family.he started working at 20 and eventually started making a lot of money by the age of 22. ... he met this girl unexpectedly at a bar,he said it was love at first sight while the girl gave him his number saying if you can memorize it then call,then he called and they started dating.in between he harassed other females at his work place whom he got infatuated with,still got engaged to this girl,while making out with blondes at parties with his playboy mates, ... He started dating his blonde colleague with whom he got really close but she ditched him just 6 or ...   [retrieve this message]
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