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Men Raped Support Forum

Male Rape Victims & Male Rape Survivors: Sexual Abuse Survivors Message Board & Online Support Group
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  • My Own Article about SUICIDE and HOW to Stop.. On Time..   1234567   89d  C
     
    Hello Forum... ... ... Ok, being an Admin on one of the FaceBook pages.. some time back I posted my own article about SUICIDE. One guy contacted that FB page in order to find Help from Doctors to die quick... He tried to make it happen by drinking couple of Hundreds Sleeping pills but Doctors Saved him and he turned to that page. I am Extremely HAPPY that I saw that post of his even Not being an admin of that page by then. So I answred him and tried to talk Sense to him.. ... ... So here is a copy of that article. :) ... ......................................... ... ... SUICIDE… ... ... What comes on your mind w ...   [retrieve this message]
  • My Own Article about SUICIDE and HOW to Stop ON Time...   greenmme   9mo  C
     
    Hello Forum... ... ... Ok, being an Admin on one of the FaceBook pages.. last night I posted my own article about SUICIDE. One guy some time back contacted that FB page in order to find Help from Doctors to die quick... He tried to make it happen by drinking couple of Hundreds Sleeping pills but Doctors Saved him and he turned to that page. I am Extremely HAPPY that I saw that post of his even Not being an admin of that page by then. So I answred him and tried to talk Sense to him... ... ... I will copy that article of Mine for you to read and also give a link redarding that one. ... ... I Kindly would l ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Arousal & Orgasm During Rape   CLEW   10mo  C
     
    ”Arousal and orgasm during rape happen. Probably much more often than we know. It is not a sign of guilt or pleasure. It in no way indicates consent. It is a sign that our bodies react, just as they do with a rapid heartbeat or an adrenaline rush. We react. And then we try to heal. ... ... A survivor may ask, “Was this something I subconsciously wanted? Am I in some way guilty? If my body responded this way, does it mean I’m mentally disturbed?” The reality is that the body’s arousal response is no more an indication of guilt or mental illness than an elevated heart rate or adrenaline flood wou ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Abuse of 7 year old boy by female that was 15   joyce61   15mo  C
     
    My son is now 40 years old and has had problems every since he was around 7 years old. When he was youug he did not want to go to school, and as he aged it was alcohol and drugs, and his problem with alcohol and drugs has gone on for years. He never did want to be in a relationship with a girl, Well he met this girl and is in a relationship now, She told me last night that he broke down and told her that he drank and did drugs to forget what my 15 year old niece did to him when he was 7 years old. She would make him do cunnilingus on her, and this went on for a long time. My niece and I ha ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I’m so sorry this happened to your son. He needs to get so...   BlueRose   15mo
       
      I’m so sorry this happened to your son. He needs to get some counseling to deal with what happened. Here are some possible places where he could start: ... ... Male Survivor: ... http://www.malesurvivor.org/index.htm ... ... There is also RAINN: ... http://www.rainn.org/ or call 1-800-656-HOPE ... ... Your son needs to look at the above websites, then take that first step that will get him on the road to healing. ... ... In fact, I suggest that you call RAINN to ask for advice on how to deal with your niece. In the meantime, I think that you should keep your distance from her. Once all the facts come out, then ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I believe that the episode with your niece has little to do...   jurplesman   14mo
       
      I believe that the episode with your niece has little to do with your son’s drug addiction now. Your niece is not demanding cunnilingus now, and your son is a grown up man by now. ... ... ... ... ... If you son wants to get off drugs he will need to treat the underlying biological abnormality that cause him to be addicted to drugs for relief of his symptoms. ... ... ... ... ... Most drug addicts are hypoglycemic . This causes the over-production of stress hormones for which your son is taking calming chemicals (drugs) to counteract the feelings of anxiety and discomfort. Most drug addicts are hypoglycemic. ...   [retrieve this message]
    • May be because your son don’t have spirituality. Take him t...   jacksonwiliams   6mo
       
      May be because your son don’t have spirituality. Take him to any spiritual center. That will help him.   [End]
  • Raped married man   #161080   16mo  C
     
    I am still badly affected by my rape and its been over 10 years. ... ... I was 39 at the time and with my first wife. I had been out with friends and was walking home alone. It was not even dark and I was walking back down a public footpath that used to be a railway line. It was a nature park now, just outside the city. I was getting near to a area where 2 road bridges pass over the valley. There was about 6 teenager hanging about under the bridge and I could see they had a small fire going and were spray paining under the bridge. ... ... I was a confident guy back then over 6 ft tall and use ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I am horribly sorry to read of your experiences.  And,...   SoulfulSurvivor   16mo
       
      I am horribly sorry to read of your experiences.  And, I’m going to hazard a guess that you never told anyone about the crimes that were committed against you, and I understand, but I’m going to share a fact with you:  supressing such a traumatic event and not reporting it as a crime doesn’t make the experience disappear, even over time.  ... ... When a person experiences a traumatic assault that ends with a sexua| assault, this one event can define a victim for the rest of their lives unless they take action and get involved in some very serious counseling.  Aside from ...   [retrieve this message]
    • By your description of yourself, it seems you are, or were,...   #167047   15mo
       
      By your description of yourself, it seems you are, or were, a man with much pride. Perhaps a little arrogant. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s part of the package of being a guy right? So part of your problem is probably that you feel like less of a man. This is what I’ll mostly focus on in this post. ... ... It sounds like one of the most horrific experiences you could have. An experience you thought you’d never have, but you did, and hopefully you’ve come to accept that by now. Here are some thoughts. Like the other poster said, it’s not about sex in any way. It’s about crime ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Tell the police. Get those motherf***ing bastards in jail f...   philharmonic   9mo
       
      Tell the police. Get those motherf***ing bastards in jail for the rest of their sorry-ass lives. Then they can burn in hell.   [End]
  • Raped and abused   Lance590   20mo  C
     
    I was raped several times by my cousin. He’s a year younger than me, but he’s always been stronger and smarter than me, and he’s always gone out of his way to humiliate me whenever possible. ... ... A good highlight is my 11th birthday party. It was just me, five of my best friends from school, and my cousin. He was a year younger than the rest of us, and he didn’t know anyone but me, but he somehow managed to rally my friends against me, convince them to strip me naked and deliver a birthday spanking--with his belt. I was naked and crying and begging them to stop, and they stopped to play ”pi ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Lance590, I am sorry that you had those experiences.  ...   SoulfulSurvivor   20mo
       
      Lance590, I am sorry that you had those experiences.  Events and episodes like that can destroy a human being’s psyche for the rest of their lives unless they make the choice to get help to process the experiences and heal from them. ... ... The aftermath of the types of events that you described can only be addressed and managed by working with a trained professional that "gets it."  We do not have the ability to process such experiences and managed the triggers, on our own.  We simply don’t.  So, once we can say it out loud or write it on a piece of paper, we are ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Was I raped?   #151935   25mo  C
     
    It started over two years ago now, I had began a relationship with a girl online at first and I made the mistake of picking up my life and moving to another state to be with her. That was about a year ago.. from there things didn’t grow better, she was still in school and I was too and I moved into an apartment and was looking for a job. The job situation wasn’t exactly great, at first it was about not getting any response from any employers. I had enough money to last me for atleast 8 months though, so it wasn’t terribly concerning. I found some online work though and was making enough mo ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Call   SoulfulSurvivor   25mo
       
      What you’re describing sounds like domestic violence and abuse - rape is often part of the dynamic.  Anytime one person forces another person to engage in sex, it is considered rape. ... ... I would strongly urge and recommend that you contact your local domestic violence hotline and talk to the intake person.  These people can direct you to the proper agencies that will be able to help you, and I would urge you to do this as soon as humanly possible.  In between making this crucial call and taking action, I would also suggest that you sit down and develop a timeli ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Going Through abuse again.   #151402   25mo  C
     
    HI Everyone, ... ... I am a 23 year old guy. I am small built with blonde hair and blue eyes. When I was 15 I had a good friend at school. He was way larger than me and they were very rich. We always use to be at his parent’s house as they had a massive house with all kinds of things to do. His parents were almost never there for some reason. ... ... We were always just hanging around doing normal things. Things started devoloping over time were he was very interested in asking me sexua| questions. This was very strange to me, I was never ”sexual” before. I had never even mastrubated, I honestly did ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Report it   SoulfulSurvivor   25mo
       
      I am so sorry that you have had such horrific experiences.  ... ... No doctor has the right or privilege to sexually molest or assault a patient.  If it were me, I would first try to get the dates of these "appointments" straight with general timelines and events.  Then, I would contact my local rape hotline and report the incidents.  THEN, I would ask the rape center for recommendations on a good, strong counseling therapist and begin the work of recovery and healing. ... ... What may be helpful for you to understand is that you are not alone in this.  You are not ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Going Through abuse again.   #77203   25mo
       
      There is an obvious common theme to all things you are writing. The one you did not write about, but I would like to hear is - your relationship with your dad. Unfortunately, most dads today do not have the time or even know-how to engage in raising their children. Hence, most kids grow up being non-assertive and unaware of their true potential and great qualities. Low self esteem follows, as do self-destructive behavior patterns that you describe. ... ... Here are a few pointers: ... ... - First of all, realize that you did miss a strong masculine figure in your life - your father. I do not know wh ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Both the above replies make good points. ... ... My points...   trimnut2   25mo
         
        Both the above replies make good points. ... ... My points are simple. ... ... Find a member of the police force who is experienced in cases like this and report the abuse. ... ... Love that girl you married. Integrity, honesty and commitment are important for your marriage. Discuss the current abuse and ask for her support MAY be an important way to build those important qualities into your marriage. ... ... Keep a copy of the record you posted above. Document any more developments. ... ... As one male to another: you have shown considerable guts here. You know yourself. ... ... Be proud: don’t step back ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Hi there. ... ... The same day I posted the message, I wai...   #151402   25mo
         
        Hi there. ... ... The same day I posted the message, I waited for Tracy to come home and as soon as she walked in I told her everything. ... ... She was very understanding and supportive. She arranged for me to go see a therapist who I see regularly. ... ... The advise you posted is really accurate. I only read it now, but as I am still working through this issues it is really helpfull. ... ... I do have a father and I always thought that we had a pretty good relationship. But as you state ”emotionally available”, he is quite emotionally distant with me. ... ... Could this be the root of all these problems? ... ... I ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I’m sorry that you are dealing with this situation. ... .....   #129632   25mo
       
      I’m sorry that you are dealing with this situation. ... ... There are a couple of things to consider here. You said the abuse from your doctor started a few months ago. Then you mention ”everytime” you go back, this happens. You are seeing a doctor quite frequently then? Most office visits do not require full undress, so is your condition serious to require so many visits in just a few months time? ... ... You are old enough to know that that is not supposed to happen. Yet you are putting yourself in the same situation. I would bet that if you questioned this doctor just once, he would back of ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Hello, ... ... I have some different advice to share with ...   Michael B   25mo
       
      Hello, ... ... I have some different advice to share with you. Please don’t be offended if it comes across the wrong way. ... ... I feel that you need to first of all release all judgment you unconsciously may hold against homosexuality. And secondly I feel that you need to come to peace with the fact that your experiences may have opened to door to a part of your sexuality that you didn’t know was there. Just as there is the inner ”child” in psychological terms, you may also say there is an inner homosexual within every man. There was some study i recall reading, where the men who responded the m ...   [retrieve this message]
    • U got hard during a Doctor’s exam and want to report HIM fo...   cumpeled   24mo
       
      U got hard during a Doctor’s exam and want to report HIM for it??.. U had MILD experiences with boys.. like most boys do.. and tried suicide as a result?? I dont get it.. I think ur problems lay much deeper than those experiences, which most boys go thru. I did. .my friends did.. and we are fine.   [End]
    • I read your post and I’m wondering why you are allowing you...   understate   23mo
       
      I read your post and I’m wondering why you are allowing yourself to be manipulated by this man (the Dr.). I wouldn’t describe any of these situations as rape. I do not understand why you don’t walk away from these situations. It’s as though you have a difficult time telling people ”no”. You have a basic responsibility to yourself to stand up for yourself. Otherwise, you are really going to be taken advantage of (not just sexually).   [End]
  • Raped   divad777   26mo  C
     
    So this is pretty much just for me and anyone else reading who has been through something similar. I was raped at 13, long story short, he raped me, threw money at me, I gave it back and he insisted I take it, when I got home I just laid there on my bed shocked and in disbelief at what just happened. ... I started to self harm after this incident and never sought help. I moved out of home and was very intoxicated, and it happened again (at age 19). This time I bled for a week straight. I couldn’t tell my friends or family, especially not my housemates who asked where I was when I got home. ...   [retrieve this message]
    • ... ... http://ptsd.about.com/od/treatment/u/treatingPTSD....   #85543   26mo
       
      ... ... http://ptsd.about.com/od/treatment/u/treatingPTSD.htm ... ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBtqWrs2-K0   [End]
    • You may already be aware of it, but there is a website call...   Knowmad   23mo
       
      You may already be aware of it, but there is a website call malesurvivor.org. You may be able to find a support group or one on one counselor in your area. ... ... There are also books out there. I read one called Beyond Betrayal that really helped me realize there were other men out there and that I was not alone. ... ... I know it may sound weird, but be grateful you have the memories of the events, this will really help you in healing process. I still cannot recall the actual events, but I know and feel in my heart that I was seriously violated. Just from feelings, tendencies, and reoccurin ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Gang- Raped   #148597   28mo  C
     
    I got gang raped when I was 11. I remember it as if it was yesterday. The leader of the gang forced to give him oral, the rest taking turns masturbating me and giving me anal sex. It was the worst experience of my life. They came back a few months later and i tried to run away but they had guns. Another horrible experience. I share my dorm in college with a gay guy. I got to be really good friends and after a few months, we went to a party. A few weeks later he confessed to raping me at the party while I was drunk. I let it slide. Now that I’ve been raped thrice, I feel I should become gay ...   [retrieve this message]
    • A few weeks later he confessed to raping me at the party wh...   #28223   28mo
       
      A few weeks later he confessed to raping me at the party while I was drunk. I let it slide. Now that I’ve been raped thrice, I feel I should become gay. Me and my gay friend have been getting really close. What should I do? ... ------------------- ... You ”should become gay”? You don’t ”become gay”. In other words, you don’t start out being straight and one day decide to be gay or vice versa. It sounds like you are very confused about your sexua| orientation. Plus, it’s quite appalling that you have befriended one of your rapists and become close to him. That man should have been reported t ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Your having gotten raped has nothing at all to do with ur e...   cumpeled   24mo
       
      Your having gotten raped has nothing at all to do with ur establishing a relationship with your friend.. What he did to you was shady and unloyal..and now you want to commit to him? Why? If you are attracted to men, fine.. If so, I suggest you find a real, honest, sincere male.. not someone that rapes you while u are vulnerable and drunk..   [End]
  • Rape help   on the cliff   3y  C
     
    I was recently raped. Where can I go to get help in the Chicago area? All I can find is places for woman and not guys.   [End]
    • Sorry to hear that. Call the Rape, Abuse and Incest Nation...   BlueRose   3y
       
      Sorry to hear that. Call the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE. The person on the other end of the line can help you find resources in your area. You can also look at their website: www.rainn.org ... ... Best of luck to you!   [End]
  • Please help me! I need advice. I'm a 14 year old boy being ...   BSA NEED HELP NOW! JTM14   4y  C
     
    I found this forum while typing in ’rape victims support’. I neep some advice from anyone here, other than talking to a teacher or friend because I don’t want my mom to find out. I just don’t know what to do. I’m a 14 year old boy who is being raped by my mom’s boyfriend. They have been dating for two years and he moved in with us last year. ... ... I thought Dave(not his real name) and I were getting along great and he seemed cool until four months ago when my mom went to work(she works evenings), Dave looked at me differently. Before he looked at me in a fatherly way but this time he looked ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Go to the emergency room, tell the doctor what happened. .....   charkee   4y
       
      Go to the emergency room, tell the doctor what happened. ... It is important they get DNA proof and proof of penetration. If not your step dad can deny anything happend and he will try to turn your own mother against you. ... ... It is the doctor’s legal responsibility to report this to the police. This man is sick and needs to go to prison where he can’t get to boys anymore. ... ... If you are worried about your mom’s reaction, I think she will be first shocked, angry, maybe blaming you. Don’t put up with it, in time she will be glad you did it. ... ... Afterwards, it is indespensible that you recieve tr ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Charkee is spot on! You must report this monster to the po...   BlueRose   4y
         
        Charkee is spot on! You must report this monster to the police---follow Charkee’s excellent advice! I must add something, however, since you are underage, the hospital may not want to check you without a parent or guardian present. Get out of the house and go to the nearest police station---the sooner the better. It’s best to get there as soon as the rape occurs. ... ... Don’t put up with this any longer! Also, don’t be afraid of speaking to your school guidance counselor if you can’t get to the police station. By law, the guidance counselor will have to report the rape to the authorit ...   [retrieve this message]
      • I know I should call the cops. That is something I thought ...   JTM14   4y
         
        I know I should call the cops. That is something I thought about because then they could put him in jail but do you think they might call my mom a bad mom and put her in jail too? I mean, she didn’t even know but some cops say that the mom should have saw the signs. But it’s my fault for making excuses and pretending I’m okay. I don’t want my mom to get into trouble. And do you think he will go to jail for sure? I’m scared that he might not get jail time and then he could come after us. I am scared to do this but I know it’s the only way to make it stop so I will do it but I’m mostly scare ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Listen, please...sad to say, there have been many cases whe...   BlueRose   4y
           
          Listen, please...sad to say, there have been many cases where the mom didn’t know the kids were being abused by the boyfriend/stepfather---and the moms didn’t get into any trouble. Once the perv was out of their lives, the mom and the kids worked together to get their lives back in order. So...the thought of getting your mom in trouble should be the least of your worries. ... ... As for going to the police---I’m not saying that you should put up being raped again so please understand that’s not what I’m suggesting here. However, the best time to go to the police would have been as soon as po ...   [retrieve this message]
        • I am so sorry that you are experiencing these trust-shatter...   SoulfulSurvivor   4y
           
          I am so sorry that you are experiencing these trust-shattering experiences.  You’ve had some superb advice - ACT ON IT, NOW.  Don’t wait for "something" to happen or for someone to make the call for you.  Call Child Protective Services, immediately, and they will contact the police.  A full investigation will be conducted and this will include a physical exam.  Retrieve any/all physical evidence that may still exist, if you can. ... ... You’re a brave person to put your experiences into words and your courage will see you through this horrible part ...   [retrieve this message]
          • I agree and please don’t put it off, it is something you mu...   charkee   4y
             
            I agree and please don’t put it off, it is something you must do, so he can’t hurt you or others againg.   [End]
            • Please get help soon dear, you have my prayers.   prettyangel   4y
               
              Please get help soon dear, you have my prayers.   [End]
              • Thank you all for your support and advice. Here’s how the p...   BSA SUCCESS JTM14   4y
                 
                Thank you all for your support and advice. Here’s how the past few hard days have been. Last Sunday was spent trying to find the courage to tell Mom but every time I tried to, I couldn’t get the courage or Dave was always around. Then I spent my time in my room picking up the phone & hanging it back up trying to find the courage to call the police. ... ... Every time I picked the phone up, my heart would beat so fast & my stomach would get queasy. Then I just laid on my bed quietly crying because I was so mad at myself. At the dinner table, Mom noticed that I was upset even though in the past ...   [retrieve this message]
                • Thank goodness some action has been taken on your behalf to...   seek2clean   4y
                   
                  Thank goodness some action has been taken on your behalf to stop this atrocity. I understand fully how much you feared doing the calling and telling. This kind of abuse paralyzes the victim... and we still live in a culture of ignorance which blames victims, but you must know above all that you are blameless. This experience will be behind you one day, though it does not feel possible right now. The strength of your character will be built from this and will unfold as long as you do not become what you hate ... ... ... seek2clean   [End]
                • Thank goodness action was taken on your behalf to stop this...   seek2clean   4y
                   
                  Thank goodness action was taken on your behalf to stop this atrocity!!! This kind of abuse paralyzes the victim. I understand how you feared the calling and telling. We still live in an ignorant culture that blames the victim, but know that the strength of your character will be built from this and unfold as long as you do not become what you hate... ... ... seek2clean   [End]
                • Courage   SoulfulSurvivor   4y
                   
                  I agree with Seek2b - thank God, The Great Creator, Jehovah, Mohammed, Buddah, or any other name you wish to choose.  Someone took a courageous leap and made the call that was needed.  Yes, there are many unpleasant challenges ahead of you, but you will - WILL - take them on and put these episodes in perspective. ... ... I’m going to try to explain some things that might help ease your mind: ... ... #1 - You did nothing to deserve what was done to you.  You didn’t "ask" for it, and you didn’t want it.  The man that did this to you is a monster, regardless of whether he ...   [retrieve this message]
                  • I had been thinking about you quite a bit and hoping that y...   BlueRose   4y
                     
                    I had been thinking about you quite a bit and hoping that you were able to get this perv arrested and out of your lives. ... ... Thus, I’m glad that you did post back with an update. You’ve been given some great advice from SoulfulSurvivor and Seek2clean. I do hope that both you and your mom get some counseling so that you both can heal. ... ... Always remember that your friend and his mom are good friends to you. He did the right thing by telling his mom and she did the right thing by calling the police. ... ... If you find yourself having a hard time at school, don’t hesitate to talk to your guidanc ...   [retrieve this message]
                    • I(the 14yr old boy) just wanted to write back to let you al...   BSA SUCCESS JTM14   4y
                       
                      I(the 14yr old boy) just wanted to write back to let you all know that everything is working out better than I thought it would. Mom and I are both going to joint counseling to help get over this. It has been very helpful into realizing just how much my Mom felt guilty for not being able to protect me and how her love for this man turned to hate as soon as she found out that he hurt me. It made me realize that I didn’t have to worry that she’d have taken Dave’s side over mine if I had told her, because she wouldn’t have. Mom is trying to overcome her feelings of guilt and helplessness whil ...   [retrieve this message]
                      • JTM --- Thank you for the update. I have often thought abo...   BlueRose   4y
                         
                        JTM --- Thank you for the update. I have often thought about you and your mom and was hoping that the two of you were getting counseling. Thus, I’m very pleased that the both of you are working on healing. ... ... It’s also good to hear that no one at school is giving you a hard time---instead your schoolmates and teachers have been very supportive. This, I’m sure, is making it easier for you to heal. ... ... Whenever you feel ”dirty”, just remind yourself that none of this was your fault. You didn’t ask for this abuse. In fact, you tried to resist and the perv had you thinking that he would hu ...   [retrieve this message]
                        • Wow....I cannot tell you how relieved I am for you, J. ...   SoulfulSurvivor   4y
                           
                          Wow....I cannot tell you how relieved I am for you, J.  In most cases, parents (especially, single parents) will understand what has happened to their child, though there are some that take the side of the abuser/rapist.  I truly pity those parents and the innocent victims. ... ... You are a valuable human being and you have something very important to do in your lifetime.  I don’t know what it is, and I can’t say if it will tie into your terrible experiences.  What I do know is that a child as brave, honest, and courageous as you are has "Something Important To Do.&quo ...   [retrieve this message]
                          • Thank you so much Bluerose and Soulfulsurvivor for such nic...   RN WARNING JTM14   4y
                             
                            Thank you so much Bluerose and Soulfulsurvivor for such nice and encouraging words. You two are so very kind. Like I said before, I’m so glad I found this forum. I wanted to share the happy and relieving news that I finally got my HIV tests results back and they are negative. I was so worried because it was taking so long for the results to come back. All the other STD test results came back quickly so I was worried as to why the HIV one didn’t. My Mom was so great at trying to comfort me and stay calm but I know inside she was just as worried as me. Then we got the call and I think hearin ...   [retrieve this message]
                            • Hello J I read ur post n I am trully sry that you went thro...   gladurok   7mo
                               
                              Hello J I read ur post n I am trully sry that you went through all this nightmare! No one deserves to go through any kind of harmful trauma! I my self am a survivor of rape. I was four at the time. It was a friend of the fam n later became a step cousin. He was 18 n I was 4. He was a total monster when he sexually abused me! Penetrated me made me bleed. He too beat me bad that I actually past out at times when he would beat n rape me. And he too threatend to kill my mom n my siblings n my dad. I lived with the embarrassment and fear for 17 long years n would always blame my self for what ...   [retrieve this message]
                  • Wonderful information!! I work in the field of Domestic Vio...   Spiritgirl2   4mo
                     
                    Wonderful information!! I work in the field of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault and everything you mentioned is spot-on. I am glad that this young man has been so well supported and well advised. The only thing I would add is pedophiles are masters at their craft. They groom adults as well as children/teens so that they can get away with their crime. This man that raped him TARGETED this mother because she had a child that would be made vulnerable at some point in the relationship. Pedophilia can not be cured , the experts are looking at teaching them to manage their urges. They are se ...   [retrieve this message]
                • Re: Please help me! I need advice. I'm a 14 year old boy be...   Farabaeiy   6mo
                   
                  Hello. I’m a kind of average girl who talks to many people like you. I’m in school, yet have helped around 50 rape victims in total. I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you. If you’d ever like to chat, get some things off your chest or simply rant, you can kik me at: NightGathers or skype me at: danielleswanasaur   [End]
                • I know you posted this some time back and I hope that you a...   oxdrover   5mo
                   
                  I know you posted this some time back and I hope that you are still here reading. ... ... I am a retired psychological counselor, and I would like to see you get some counseling. There are many counselors available, and many good books as well. YOU did NOT hurt your mother by telling what was going on. HE HURT YOUR MOTHER by raping her son...she is much better off with him ot of her life. Iam sure she was stunned and also felt guilty that she didn’t know and wasn’t able to stop it. ... ... You are not responsible for her happiness, though I know you want her happy...but a man like that is not going ...   [retrieve this message]
    • First i want to say that i am sorry... im 17 and a victim l...   katluvslinkinpark   4y
       
      First i want to say that i am sorry... im 17 and a victim like yourself so i know what you are going through... i still havent confronted my abuser and its been 4 years. im still plagued by the images and because of it ive been through drug abuse and self punishment (cutting and burning) because i blame myself. im now in out-patient rehab and depressed all the time because i feel like ive given up, if you need someone to talk to im here.Things will get better. i promise. im here to help with anything i can. ... ... ... xoxo, ... kat   [End]
      • Hi Kat. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice your reply to my posti...   RR Educational JTM14   4y
         
        Hi Kat. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice your reply to my posting until now. For some reason, your reply was seperated from the rest of the replies and in it’s own indentation so I didn’t notice it. Man, I’m sorry for what you went through too. I know exactly how you feel. I guess I could understand about not being able to confront your abuser because I was so scared to tell anyone or confront Dave too. Dave had me so scared of him with his violence and threats that I didn’t end up telling my mom or the police. I finally ended up telling my best friend. I think it’s because he was my age and I ...   [retrieve this message]
        • It does get better. I see now that your post was three yea...   trueportrait   6mo
           
          It does get better. I see now that your post was three years ago so you must know it gets better now. I think violence and rape needs to be talked about more. People are still keeping things like that private. many abusers say they will hurt the adults in the kids lives, that is always used. I tell my kids I am a adult I can protect myself, if anyone is saying that they are afraid and weak. I have experienced some sexua| trauma in the past. It was so sad to read your story it just broke my heart. you are so brave i understand the flinching. what finally helped me was body work, i ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Hi, I read about your problem and I really want to help. Fi...   BlackLightHeals   3y
       
      Hi, I read about your problem and I really want to help. First, what is your name?   [End]
      • Bad form - don't ask for names!   SoulfulSurvivor   3y
         
        It is inappropriate to ask a poster to provide their name on this site. ... ... I would further recommend that CZ members NEVER give out their names or personal information. There are people out there who lurk and watch for easy prey.   [End]
    • Re: Please help me! I need advice. I'm a 14 year old boy be...   MissSisyphus   17mo
       
      I know that this is an old post but I have a few things to say. ... ... I am here because I used the exact search terms that you used. I am a student conducting research and wishing to give service to the cause of male rape victims and the different obstacles they face in comparison to women. There truly are more resources for women, because there are more reported cases by women. Rape is the #1 un-reported crime, because of these feelings. ... ... I am not a professional that can help you in therapy. I am glad that you are seeing one, and more glad that your mom is seeing one with you. I am relieve ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Hello Sweetie, my name’s Jess, I am 14 also, and i am a gir...   #175347   8mo
       
      Hello Sweetie, my name’s Jess, I am 14 also, and i am a girl, i cannot image what kind of hell you are going through with this monster rapist you are having to live with. ... ... My mum is a nurse, so i do know a bit about bodily health.  ... ... I just wanna say first, it is important to know that NONE of this is your fault at all !!! Xxx you are the victim here, and i am soooo sorry for you that you have had to have this happen to you in your life. But to answer your questions,: ... ...   ... ... 1. Yes, You can get infections and diseases from sex. They are called STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Infe ...   [retrieve this message]
    • You should have notified someone {almost anyone} including ...   kerminator   7mo
       
      You should have notified someone {almost anyone} including your mother ... ... ... Living a lie is only going along with it! ... ... Pray for strength and help!   [End]
      • I was sexually assulted a number of time’s by by step fathe...   ravenbitch   5mo
         
        I was sexually assulted a number of time’s by by step father, it started when I was 12, my mother and he would get drunk she would pass out and he would come into my bed room and force me to suck him off, i was in another part of the house and my mother was passed out she would not hear me scream out as he forcrd me to do this, at 17 I left home and moved in with my aunt to get away from him not realizing my younger sister was the next target for him, I thought she was safe, she ended up running away also I did not know this until a few year’s ago, I am 50 she is 49, my mother passed away ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Please help me! I need advice. I'm a 14 year old boy be...   #119288   4mo
    • I hate to hear that this goes on. ... ... I know well enou...   RRR Confession John Doskocil   4mo
       
      I hate to hear that this goes on. ... ... I know well enough for myself, however. ... ... My dad, Karl V. Doskocil, used to rape me on a regular basis. He would even come home for lunch from his job at the hospital to rape me during his lunch break. ... ... The messed up thing is that my Mom, Mary Agnes Tola Doskocil, used to allow him to do this to me. She would even hold me by her side, forcefully bent over, as he plowed into me. Sometimes she would even French Kiss me as he did it; our teeth would hit together as my body was thrust forward. Other times she would just rub my chest as I cried, and she w ...   [retrieve this message]
    • hi! ... I red your massage and I think,you should talk with...   Whats my name   29d
       
      hi! ... I red your massage and I think,you should talk with someone that you can trust and dave dosent know him/her but probably they say go and talk with your mother but be aware of dave cause he might check you all 24 hours and about your bleeding I think its serious and you should go to a doctor and you should do it fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... tell you mom as soon as possible!!!   [End]
  • Please help me! I need advice. I'm a 14 year old boy being ...   JTM14   4y  C
     
    I found this forum while typing in ’rape victims support’. I neep some advice from anyone here, other than talking to a teacher or friend because I don’t want my mom to find out. I just don’t know what to do. I’m a 14 year old boy who is being raped by my mom’s boyfriend. They have been dating for two years and he moved in with us last year. I thought Dave(not his real name) and I were getting along great and he seemed cool until four months ago when my mom went to work(she works evenings), Dave looked at me differently. Before he looked at me in a fatherly way but this time he looked at m ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Please help me!   #25098   4y
       
      If you are a fourteen year-old boy, get to a social worker, without giving your name...and ask for the laws governing this type of case. ... ... You could go to someone in your school, but those folks are often sworn to turn you over to other people in the system...your privacy will not be respected. ... ... ... ... If you are NOT a fourteen year-old boy...shame on you for posting here. ... ... ... It is entirely too easy for people not up to any good to post anything to stir up interest and outrage. ... ... Here, I wonder at the ’tone’ of your writing. Fourteen? I don’t know.   [End]
      • How do I get a social worker? Will I have to have my Mom pr...   JTM14   4y
         
        How do I get a social worker? Will I have to have my Mom present to get one? ... ... And yes, I am a fourteen year old boy. Why? Am I supposed to be a girl in order to use this site? Is this just for girl victims and is there an age limit for this site? I don’t understand what you mean by ’tone’. I didn’t know that this was for girls only. I’m sorry but I did a search for help on rape victims and this was one of them I came up with. I’m sorry if I’m not supposed to post here but I needed someone to talk to about this. I need help. If this is only for girls, can you tell me what site has help f ...   [retrieve this message]
        • JTM---I didn’t realize that you had posted in this forum, t...   BlueRose   4y
           
          JTM---I didn’t realize that you had posted in this forum, too. You should have cross-posted. Did you look at the responses that you got in the ”Abuse”, ”Rape” and ”Victims of Crime” threads? ... ... I’m glad you came back here. Please look at your post in the other threads. There is lots of excellent advice for you there. ... ... I hope that you take action immediately! I can’t stress this enough---go to the post you made in the forums I mentioned---and take the advice given to you there. ... ... Please, please, please get going! It’s long past time for you to end this nightmare and get this perv o ...   [retrieve this message]
          • if u are smart and can really tell that he wont kill someon...   francis bob   4y
             
            if u are smart and can really tell that he wont kill someone then i would make a plan to hurt him or threaten to tell pople wat he did. KICK HIS f***IN ASS INTO THE f***IN DIRT TILL HES IN HELL. u should tell ur mom and have him arested even though its embarissing and degrading its better then not getting help. its just another human u can outsmart him, dont be scared of him. DONT LET HIM RUIN UR LIFE. GET EVIDENCE OR VIDEO OF HIM ABUSING U NAD THERES all the evidence right there this man deserves to never live. i feel for u dont let him bring u down ur better then him hes not bertter than ...   [retrieve this message]
        • I might be able to help you. I am a 14 year old girl, plea...   BlackLightHeals   3y
           
          I might be able to help you. I am a 14 year old girl, pleased to meet you.   [End]
    • By ’tone’ I meant that you do not sound like a fourteen yea...   #25098   3y
       
      By ’tone’ I meant that you do not sound like a fourteen year-old, boy or girl. ... ... You sound like an adult, JTM. ... ... This website and this forum are open to everyone. ... ... ... If you are a youngster or an adult, if you are being abused, get out. Get to a policeman and SAY that there is a real chance this man will hurt someone else. ... ... If your mom is any kind of a decent person you have no idea how badly she will feel, in years to come, thinking that you endured this to keep her from feeling bad!!! ... ... ... ... The bleeding means that you are wounded. ... ... ... Get yourself to a hospital. Ask your mother ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Please help me! I need advice. I'm a 14 year old boy be...   #157887   19mo
       
      you need to tell your mother, a mothers love is allways their for her child and if she doesnt listen go to the police ... also if there is someone that you can trust like your grandparents father you need to let them know not to   [End]
      • Re: Please help me! I need advice. Im a 14 year old boy bei...   peppermac   56d
         
        Hello I know you are scared anyone would be with an animal like that one thing you have to understand is sex offenders always threaten the victim with hurting there loved ones rape is about control not sex yes you can get STDs like chlamydia herpes etc you can even tearcyour colon. I know you are scared you need to tell someone you can trust and play stupid around this whole until you get the police to get to yourmoms work to keep her and you safe and you need to go to the hospital if you aare too scared just remember one thing he is already hurting you and your mother if you don’t do anyt ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Rape changed my life and I'm still dealing with it   Holtron10   4y  C
     
    I am now 36 years old. I was 12 when my best friend and I started experimenting. I needed to be loved and his attention seemed to make up for the lack of love and attention at home. I knew what gay was because my older brother was openly gay and I knew I wasn’t gay. I was attracted to girls in school. I even had a girlfriend in the 7th grade. When my friend and I would hang out it would always lead to experimenting and it eventually led to me let him have sex with me. ... I didn’t like it but he made me feel loved. ... ... I think I am still fighting to be loved till this day. I won’t go into th ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Time to put it to rest...   SoulfulSurvivor   4y
       
      I’m very sorry that you experienced things that have caused you a lifetime of doubt and confusion.  There is no single "cure" for your issues.  The issues are many and you may find affirmation and support on a public discussion forum, but the affirmation and support can only go so far.  ... ... You are going to have to decide what the best course is for you to heal the Self (Self = the "soul" or that which makes you unique).  Engaging in intensive counseling/therapy with someone who specializes in addictions, abuse, and so forth would be one excellent opt ...   [retrieve this message]
    • [Message Subject Hidden by a Forum Moderator]   Hidden Username   4y
       
      [Message Body Hidden by a Forum Moderator]   [End]
    •  You have a lot of healing to do.  I wish you wel...   LuellaMay   4y
       
       You have a lot of healing to do.  I wish you well and urge you to see therapy. ... ... But I want to say one thing and I would like you to hear me loud and clear.  Hopefully, this one statement can be the first stepping stone in your healing. ... ... Rape and control has nothing to do with attraction, desire and love.  It has everything to do with power over another person.   ... ... The secret is to learn to love yourself.  Love and self-esteem does not come from any outside source.  It comes from within.   ... ... I wish you my best, ... ... Luella ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I am sorry to hear about your troubles and continuing issue...   Dquixote1217   4y
       
      I am sorry to hear about your troubles and continuing issues, but you must believe that you are here to enjoy life and not to repeat unhappy episodes or let them rob you of the joy you could otherwise have for many, many years. ... ... Apparently your childhood experimentation and then the rapes you talk about have given you a warped perspective about sex and love too.   Younger guys experimenting is common.  Being forced into having sex or totally dominated is not, though it sounds like perhaps you have a desire to repeat that to some degree - perhaps as a way of somehow making ...   [retrieve this message]
      • After reading the second post I didn’t want to have anythin...   Holtron10   4y
         
        After reading the second post I didn’t want to have anything to do with this site. I have had several therapists and I have one till this day,I guess I just need more people to talk about this with. I am sorry if i a causng any problems.   [End]
      • Thank you very much. Just talking about it in an open forum...   Holtron10   4y
         
        Thank you very much. Just talking about it in an open forum helps so much. ... I spent the whole day expecting more horrible responses and your’s was very helpfull. I wish therapy would help but years of it and I still feel like ending it all on a daily basis because of what happened. ... I recently regained contact with my former childhood best friend and he acted like nothing ever happened. This made me really lose it as of lately. Please keep talking to me about this matter it is really helping.   [End]
        • New counselor   SoulfulSurvivor   4y
           
          Being in therapy for years isn’t the answer, here.  You’ve had some excellent and supportive suggestions and insights.  Loving the Self is primary, and love does NOT equal sex or anything having to do with sex.  Sex can be had with anyone or anything, as we all know, and as DQ pointed out, your past experiences, though heinous and horrible to endure, do not need to color the rest of your life with darkness and despair.  Perhaps, finding a different counselor/therapist may help - one who doesn’t play "Let’s Milk The Client For Years" game and one who gets down ...   [retrieve this message]
          • It would also be a very good idea to get some Bach’s Rescue...   Iolite   4y
             
            It would also be a very good idea to get some Bach’s Rescue Remedy (found at health food stores --online) to help with the overwhelming anxiety when it hits. Just put a few drops in some water and drink it. It will help you regain your balance. You might even research Bach remedies and look at the individual ones and find some that speak to you. You would then follow the directions of mixing up remedies and taking them several times a day. ... ... http://www.bachflower.com/ ... ... http://www.bachflower.com/7_Groups.htm ... ... http://www.bachflower.com/Article-ReturningSoldiers.htm (remedies for PTS ...   [retrieve this message]
          • Thank you fo your honest questions and statements. I will t...   Holtron10   4y
             
            Thank you fo your honest questions and statements. I will try to answer all of them. Why do I consider ending my life? because my memories won’t stop making me fee like garbage and if I end it all I wont be reliving my past. ... ... I contacted my childhood friend in hopes to find out what happened to him that made him do what he did to me and what he watched happen to me. We never really got to that topic. ... ... I guess the appeal to being dominated is the idea that if I am the one that allows someone to dominate me then I am taking back the power of the first person that dominated me. ... I hav ...   [retrieve this message]
            • I’m so glad to hear that you’re having some better feelings...   SoulfulSurvivor   4y
               
              I’m so glad to hear that you’re having some better feelings during the past few days - one day at a time, and (sometimes) one minute at a time. ... ... The questions that I asked weren’t meant to sound harsh, cruel, or unfeeling.  I experienced similar episodes at the hands of an abusive ex-spouse, and I completely understand the lure of putting an "end" to the miserable memories.  The important thing to consider is this:  you are far, FAR more than the sum total of those events.  Certainly, those events have caused a myriad of negative impacts upon your life, feel ...   [retrieve this message]
              • Very well put, SoulfulSurvivor!   BlueRose   4y
                 
                This is so true!: ... ... As for reaching out to this former friend, it’s something that nearly everyone entertains who has experienced negative episodes. We want answers. We want feedback. We want to know if the person has been as devastated as we have been. Even with abusive ex-spouses, we often want redress for the sins that were committed against us. The ”reckoning” is not made with our abusers or co-abusers. The ”reckoning” is with our Selves. Most often, this requires that we maintain NO CONTACT with abusers or co-abusers for the rest of our lives. The reason is quite simple: the ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: Rape changed my life and I'm still dealing with it   Holtron10   4y
           
          I spoke to my old friend again over the phone. I was very forward this time, avoiding conversation about how time has passed and what not. This time I asked him straight out ”were you molested by your Father” he waited a minute and then said ”Why are you bringing up the bad part of our past?” and then said he didn’t havetime for this then he hung up. Once again I felt let down. ... That was couple of weeks ago. Last night my sister called me and said she had some bad news. She lived in the same state that my old friends family relocated to years ago an had stayed in touch with the family. Sh ...   [retrieve this message]
          • Strong medicine...   SoulfulSurvivor   4y
             
            I am truly saddened that yet one more person has made the choice to end their own life.  Under no circumstances are you responsible for their choice just because you asked a direct question.  UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you responsible - I typed this twice in the hope that you will take that statement as Truth and release yourself from any guilt that you may be associating with this person’s choice. ... ... Having said that, you are entering into a realm of complete emotional horror that requires a trained and qualified guide to help you set your feet firmly ont ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Study on interpersonal relationships among people who have ...   Webmaster   4y  C
     
    The University of Amsterdam (Department of Clinical Psychology) is conducting an online study on interpersonal relationships among people who have experienced one or more traumatic events. ... ... If you would like to see the survey and to participate, please follow this link: http://www.unipark.de/uc/UniAmsterdam ... ... ... The aim of this study is to examine how people experience social situations and interpersonal relationships and how these experiences are related to traumatic or distressing events people have encountered in their life. We expect the results of this study to help us improve tre ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Forgive me for my naivete, but...   infinitelove   4y
     
    ..how can a man POSSIBLY be raped? ... ... Enlighten me.   [End]
    • There are many ways. Other men rape men. ... ... Drugs m...   InnerCalm   4y
       
      There are many ways. Other men rape men. ... ... Drugs may be involved. ... ... A group of women could gang up on a man. ... ... Someone with health issues could be unable to defend themselves from attack. ... ... Etc, etc, etc.......   [End]
    • I have personally known several men who were abused and or ...   #2853   4y
       
      I have personally known several men who were abused and or raped by men. The impact was profound in some. Coercion and intimidation by a woman or man in some position of authority is fairly common. Reading posts in the forum might have enlightened you? What is your take on it?   [End]
    • Hey infinite love: ... ... I noticed your question and I t...   champ2510   4y
       
      Hey infinite love: ... ... I noticed your question and I think maybe I should tell you. Years ago, I was raped and I have to tell you that it has been the most hard thing to overcome in my life. When I was in my first year of college, I went to a party. It was my first time away from home and I didn’t have a lot of friends. I left a small high school where I knew everyone and everyone knew me, to a University where I was only a number. It was exciting, but very scary. When a few people I had met invited me to a party, I didn’t think I was in any position to turn down making a few friends. There ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Disagree   tyciol   4y
         
        That thing about ’rape is always about power, sex is incidental’ bit. ... ... I don’t think that is always true. It’s an unproven generalization, I’m not sure why it’s being spread. ... ... It is true that rape can be primarily about power,but so can consensual sex, if you think about it. I’m not saying this doesn’t happens. For all I know, the majority of rapes ARE about power, there’s often an element of truth to stereotypes after all. ... ... But situations are unique and I do believe it’s possible for someone to rape primarily to fulfill a sexual urge rather than to get a sense of power. I have seen ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Forgive me for my naivete, but...   tyciol   4y
       
      Infinite, I fail to be convinced you’re THAT ignorant. ... ... Basically: men can be overpowered or threatened just like a woman. WE’RE NOT INVINCIBLE, just tend to grow a little bigger and have more test so muscle seems to build a tad easier.   [End]
  • What can i do...?   #124711   4y  C
     
    a friend of mine was put in a situation where a woman used her control over something he needed, in order to force him to have sex with her... he was stranded, and had nowhere else to turn, and felt obligated to do what she wanted... ... ... legally, that’s not considered ”rape” although, it still brings about the after-effects of rape... the trauma, the guilt, fear, shame, pain, self-hate and disgust, depression, etc etc... ... ... i’m not sure what to do, or where i can get some help for him... he’s really depressed, and ashamed of himself for going through with it, even though he didn’t want to. ...   [retrieve this message]
    • ... ... I have a relative who was in an abusive relationsh...   #107689   4y
       
      ... ... I have a relative who was in an abusive relationship and she called the local ... Crisis Clinic and received a lot of helpful information regarding her options ... and the resources that were available to her.  I believe that every ... geographic area has some sort of local crisis hot line and they generally ... provide good support.  Trauma and depression is one of the things they are ... there for. ... ... ... ...   [End]
    • Is your friend in the US? If so, he can call 1-800-656-HOP...   BlueRose   4y
       
      Is your friend in the US? If so, he can call 1-800-656-HOPE --- it’s the rape crisis hotline.   [End]
    • Your friend is the victim of sexual harassment and abuse by...   #75156   4y
       
      Your friend is the victim of sexual harassment and abuse by legal definition.  There is little that you, personally, can do to help him - he must take the steps to help himself before this episode becomes a focal point for the rest of his life.  ndvh.org is the site for the National Domestic Violence Hotline - there are lists of resources state by state.  He can also contact his local law enforcement, but I would suggest to him that it would be far more effective to align himself with an advocacy organization, first.  Unfortunately, sexual harassment of men is so under- ...   [retrieve this message]
  • feel ahame degraded   joe1000   4y  C
     
    i dont know what to do. last week when walking back from store. 2 men came up behide me and with knife forcd me to go under bride on freeway. down there them and at least 7 men rob me strip me naked tied my hands gag me. for the next couple hours they took turns raping me and perform oral sex. when tired they use objects in me. they beat me used me for sicking toilet acts. i feel very dirty degraded and even feel gay. dont know if i should report it or just keep my mouth shout.   [End]
    • You should tell someone. If you don’t this will happen aga...   recovering   4y
       
      You should tell someone. If you don’t this will happen again, to someone else. If you are really worried that you won’t be taken seriously, you could call the police from a pay phone. That would give you a certain level of anonymity. ... ...   [End]
    • Reporting it seems like a good idea. You may be able to ass...   tyciol   4y
       
      Reporting it seems like a good idea. You may be able to assist the police in stopping these guys. You can ask to remain anonymous, even if you aren’t up to testifying or anything it could still aid in an investigation. ... ... Being raped by the same sex doesn’t mean you have a preference for the same sex. Heck, even if you enjoy sexual acts (consensual or not) it doesn’t mean you prefer the gender of the person who performed them on you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I think homosexuals are awesome (though I don’t like them using the ’gay’ slang). ... ... Part of feeling dirty is psych ...   [retrieve this message]
  • need help dont know what to do   jrivera   5y
     
    i am a 24 year old man, ... i am a marine and have been for a while ... ... i spent this 4th of july weekend with some friends at a hotel, there was one girl over there that kept trying to hit on me, i kindly informed her friends that i was not intrested. she kept trying to get me to go back with her to her place, with promices of beer and such, (i was the only one drinking in the hotel room) i told her no thank you and went to sleep, the next day some of my friends told me they were going to a party out in town, and she was takeing them, seeing as i had friends i did not think much of it. whe ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Image Embedded Re: forgive yourself   Zoebess   5y
       
      http://curezone.com/upload/_Q_R_Forums/Rape/happy_face.jpg ... Here is a consideration for you~~ ... ... Just stop thinking it. It could ... be that simple. Just stop... ... ... It would seem to me that yes, ... you were violated, but even this ... violation can become a thing ... of the past if you allow it to. ... ... Talk to yourself and find out ... what it would take for you to ... find your comfort level again. ... ... Others can help you feel comfortable, ... but really, only you can feel ... comfortable and know when you ... are. It may be a challenge to ... dig deep within but have those ... cries when you are alone and ... feeling sa ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Sorry for the spelling in the original post. I was vary wo...   jrivera   5y
         
        Sorry for the spelling in the original post. I was vary worked up and needed to get it out as soon as possible without breaking down. ... ... How can I let this become a thing of the past. ... No matter what I do, I cannot hang around my friends anymore without ... felling unsafe. As far as others helping me out …….I am a Marine, ... They don’t take anything regarding sex serious. I would be told that I am ... A (sorry no disrespect intended, just going for accuracy) FAG for not wanting ... to sleep with her. Don’t get me wrong, I like women just as much as the next man, but ... On my terms, and not ...   [retrieve this message]
        • I wonder how the woman would have felt if she was drugged a...   iFlush   5y
           
          I wonder how the woman would have felt if she was drugged and didnt remember or consent to what happened to them- of course you should be angry-and have the feelings you are experiencing- do not let anyone invade your soul as they have your body. You have a right to all you are thinking and feeling. PS I dont think that happens from alcohol alone ---YOU WERE DRUGGED   [End]
        • You were taken advantage of and violated, much like victims...   Iolite   5y
           
          You were taken advantage of and violated, much like victims of date rape drugs. You have no memory of even consenting and do not remember the incident. Have you called the rape hotline? http://www.rainn.org I would think that the folks there are going to be compassionate and non-judgmental. ... ... Also, on a side note: have you ever, before this incident, blacked out after drinking alcohol? If the answer is yes, then I would gently suggest that perhaps you have a problem with alcohol and need to look into some sort of support group like AA. If the answer is no, then call the rape hotl ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Read your story. I hope you have sought some counseling. It...   seemeeu   5y
           
          Read your story. I hope you have sought some counseling. It helps to talk to somebody and get these dark thoughts out of your mind. I was drugged and raped by three guys in a gay club. It took me a long time to talk about it because I felt cheap and ashamed of myself. We need to talk about these things and it is good to cry about it too. You have to let it out, and therefore find someone who do understand. We should not be cross at those who cannot understand our pain and embarrassment, for they have not been in our shoes yet. ... ... The main thing is that life goes on and that you cannot put ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Edited   Awakenings   5y
    • Better get checked   #89866   5y
       
      Better get checked out by the clinic. A girl like that likely has at least one STD. Most importantly find out if you caught something so you don’t pass it on to someone else.   [End]
    • Re: need help dont know what to do   josecute69   5y
       
      I think you should try counsleling and ask for help or try meditating like spiritual healing, it will help you a lot, it is very stress free and clean your mind too..   [End]
      • I am trying now to go to the victim advocate, getting the ...   jrivera   5y
         
        I am trying now to go to the victim advocate, getting the courage up is a little harder then it seems. I think I will try the healthy food thing that someone else posted. As far as me having a problem with alcohol, I don’t drink all that often. And when I do its social drinking, like games of beer pong. And I have never blacked out before. The more I think about it, the more little bits and pieces come up….i will look into seeing if I was drugged, but the last thing I remember now is hitting my head on the table we were playing beer pong on (the ball dropped and I had to pick it up) ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: in the media   jrivera   5y
           
          also to add to my other post,, the idea of the media geting involved (male Marine raped by women) scares the hell out of me.... then no matter that i do i would not be able go back to normal, i would always have prople looking at me at that guy who got raped..   [End]
          • That’s great that you’re thinking about going to the victim...   Iolite   5y
             
            That’s great that you’re thinking about going to the victim’s advocate. It’ll be easier, at first, to make an anonymous phone call to Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). ... ... ”National Sexual Assault Hotline | 1.800.656.HOPE | Free. Confidential. 24/7.” ... ... You need to talk to someone. You need a lifeline. Please call them. Get started on the Rescue Remedy. Take it as often as you need it. It is good stuff and it works. It helped my daughter get over her extreme fear of thunderstorms. Before Rescue Remedy, faint rumbles of thunder in the distance would set off a really bad ...   [retrieve this message]
            • Re: Bach remedies that may be helpful   Iolite   5y
               
              I am by no means an expert in Bach remedies, however here are some remedies that may prove helpful to you in addition to the Rescue Remedy: ... ... Agrimony- for inner torture ... Gorse - for desperation and hopelessness ... Walnut - adjustment to change ... Crab Apple - for shame and disgust ... Gentian - for depression with known cause ... Heather - for obsession with own troubles (obsessive thoughts) ... ... ... To make up a stock bottle: Get an empty bottle with dropper (1 or 2 oz bottle), add 2-4 drops of each remedy, add spring bottled water to the top. Take 4 drops from bottle in a little water or drop caref ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Re: need help dont know what to do   josecute69   5y
           
          I do believe you were drugged, cause alcohol cannot work that fast after a couple of drinks, and pray for comfort and use a lot of mind power, your strong mentally.   [End]
          • I talked to the victim advocate yesterday… I ended up telli...   jrivera   5y
             
            I talked to the victim advocate yesterday… I ended up telling him everything . to my surprise he understood what I was going through. I have appointments today to talk to other people about this. They want me to talk to NCIS to have an investigation started… but what hurts the most is when I had to tell my command, they all blamed me.. they told me it was my fault for drinking and it was only after the fact that I told them that I have only had sex with two women that they asked if I felt like a victim. These people have the best intentions in mind regardless of what they say.. they a ...   [retrieve this message]
            • Re: ...it is not your fault~~   Zoebess   5y
               
              I shared my advice from the point ... of view of someone who also has ... been abused. I am past the half ... century mark and yet when the ... thoughts and feelings cross my ... mind and emotional barriers, I ... can smell the man’s breath who ... raped me as a child. I can feel ... his hand on mine using it as a ... way to masturbate. I can remember ... the very nuances of dissociating ... when he began to penetrate me ... and I was helpless. I was in ... second grade and did not even ... know about sex. I knew what was ... happening was not right. I had ... begged my mother not to make me ... go to this person’s house where ... he would ha ...   [retrieve this message]
              • i know it must have been hard to share that Zoebess... ... ...   jrivera   5y
                 
                i know it must have been hard to share that Zoebess... ... and to tell you the truth it scares me. I don’t want to be ... 50 years old still thinking about this... but thank you.. ... ... Yesterday I did all the blood work and the urinalysis.. I had to give my statement to NCIS as well.. I am getting better at controlling my emotions… I just wont let myself cry anymore. There are times I come close (a lot yesterday when they were asking me for detailed descriptions) but I held it together…. I just hated the fact that they were asking me all these questions and they were so detailed, I could not re ...   [retrieve this message]
                • Keep you all posted through evreything   jrivera   5y
                   
                  also, i will keep evreyone posted on the results of the blood work.... i dont know why but for some reason typeing about this has brought a strange sence of comfert to me ... thank you all....   [End]
                • Re: ...it is not your fault~~   Zoebess   5y
                   
                  Yeah, I never talk about what ... happened to me since I also ... want to keep it behind me and ... not allow it to saturate my ... life. Still, I do not think you ... ever forget... ... ... I am glad for you your counselor ... is good. Men cannot comprehend ... how it feels unless it has happened ... to them, but it really does happen, ... from what I have read or seen on ... shows like Dr. Phil. Work through ... it and make the decision not to ... be a victim and let what happened ... define the rest of your life. You ... will get past this. ... ... best wishes, ... Zoe ... ... -_- ... ...   [retrieve this message]
                  • Reliving Everything   jrivera   5y
                     
                    Its not fair how people can have such a power over you ... ... ... Since this has happened, I have tried to get back into a social setting to make myself fell more normal. One of the things I do is security for a venue called Modern Cultures (not a job, Just a past time) … late that night one of my close friends has to go to the hospital. He was dehydrated and fell to the ground.. we take him to the hospital and everything seems to be fine.. so me and the rest of the people I was working with went to Wal-Mart to get some stuff.. (long night, we were hungry). That’s when I seen her. The same ...   [retrieve this message]
                    • You may feel a loss of power when with her because she did ...   iFlush   5y
                       
                      You may feel a loss of power when with her because she did take your power from you-it would be strange to have experienced what you did and not have this visceral response to your attacker. Remember thats what she is not a ”girl” remember sometimes the bravest things we do are facing the ones that have hurt us emotionally- you have made great strides in a short time in doing this. It takes a lot of courage to take the path you have chosen after being raped. Just be kind to yourself. good thoughts to you-iFlush   [End]
                    • Some days have passed since your last post, so I sincerely ...   gustam9   5y
                       
                      Some days have passed since your last post, so I sincerely hope you’re doing better. After reading your original post, I want to give you a big hug! ... ... First of all, I can tell from your posts that you are an old soul and an amazing person. Any woman would be SO lucky to have someone like you who places value in sex and doesn’t just want to give it away to anyone. This is a rare and wonderful trait and you should NEVER be ashamed of that! ... ... Unfortunately, you are surrounded by a bunch of twenty-something guys who tend to be extremely immature about all sex matters. Surely you are ...   [retrieve this message]
                      • I know I have been gone for a long time. I have tried to t...   jrivera   5y
                         
                        I know I have been gone for a long time. I have tried to throw myself into my work, lucky for me, my work has been more then accommodating for me.. seems like every second that I finish a task a new one pops up. The only problem with that is work ends. ... When I go home I am with my thoughts, I have been doing pretty good controlling them but lately the have taken me over. I can seem to sleep now. At best I get a 3 hours a night. It sucks when your wakening up sleepy. The worst part is the nightmares. I keep dreaming that I have maggots all over me. When I wake up in the morning I tr ...   [retrieve this message]
                        • Updates   jrivera   5y
                           
                          NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Service). Talked to me on Friday. They told me that the want me to look at some photos. I hope that I will be able to remember something from them, anything. As for the dreams, I went and looked it up. According to one of my friends (She is way into dreams and stuff like that) the maggots mean that I am trying to hold everything inside of me and that I believe it is eating me alive. Also she says I have a fear of death. I found the second part to be funny, so I don’t know how serious I can be about the first part. Yes I have a lot of stuff I hold ...   [retrieve this message]
                          • Re: Hang in there, it will get better   Iolite   5y
                             
                            I think the nightmare means you still feel on some level ”dirty” and that it’s eating at you. Please go to the EFT site and give the technique a try. Also please give the Bach flower remedies a try that I suggested in a previous post. I know both sound ”woo woo” but I’ve had success with the bach flower remedies on animals and children. The rescue remedy really will help with the anxiety, especially after a bad dream. You can order the bach remedies online. ... ... Are you keeping a journal? Writing down your thoughts and feelings will help process them so they don’t have to show up in yo ...   [retrieve this message]
                            • Little brother, ... ... I call you that because I’m pushin...   Iolite   5y
                               
                              Little brother, ... ... I call you that because I’m pushin’ 50 and you are probably a lot younger. I wish that I could just take you in my arms and just hold you until the hurt goes away the way I can still do for my 11 year old daughter. My heart aches for all the anguish and trauma you are going through. Please don’t try to get through it alone. Please call the hotline. Please try the EFT and the bach remedies. They WILL help. I will keep you in my thoughts. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! ... ... IOLITE   [End]
                          • Re: Updates   gustam9   5y
                             
                            It’s great to hear that you’re talking to a professional. I feel that it’s going to be essential in your healing process. You need at least one person to talk to, an objective person. It also sounds like you may be suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Now, this is also very common in military vets, especially ones who have been deployed. This most previous event may have dredged up a bunch of other feelings kept inside from the past. ... ... I’m so sorry to here that you feel that people are treating you differently. Unfortunately, society has made male sexual assualt suc ...   [retrieve this message]
                            • Re: Updates- As a sidenote   gustam9   5y
                               
                              This link talks about PTSD. I thought it would be helpful. ... ... http://helpguide.org/mental/post_traumatic_stress_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm   [End]
                              • Male Vs Female   jrivera   5y
                                 
                                Long day yesterday. ... But not so bad ... ... I know its bad for me to hold it all in. one thing you must understand is that in the Marine Corps they WILL kick you out if they believe you are unfit to perform your duties. I HAVE to hide my emotion or I could lose my job. Being a United States Marine means more to me then being happy, I find pride and honor in the fact that I serve my country. Granted, sometimes the sacrifices can be a bit much, however, I am sacrificing for something much grater then me, America. Losing my right to be a Marine would be worse the being slowly tortured to de ...   [retrieve this message]
                                • I definitely hear what you’re saying with the Marine Corps....   gustam9   5y
                                   
                                  I definitely hear what you’re saying with the Marine Corps. Are you currently active? I didn’t know that part. If you are, that does change a lot. I would say you could be more open in your personal life, but as a marine, your personal life is usually very closely entwined with your job. I just hope you have at least one person you can confide in and who you don’t have to pretend with. Everyone needs that, regardless of whether they’ve gone through something like this or not. ... ... As far as being a failure and not a man, I totally understand why you feel that way (because this f***ed ...   [retrieve this message]
                                  • done   jrivera   5y
                                     
                                    ... Yes I am active duty. ... ... I don’t know, I just want to stop it all. ... I wish ii could just go back and take all this away. ... You say I am a brave man, but I don’t fell like it. ... I am just so sick of all this, ... I am so sick of the bull shit involved ... I am sick of the police asking the same questions over and over. ... I sick of waking up in the middle of the night clinging to my covers. ... The dam maggots wont get out of my dreams. ... But most of all I am sick of now matter how hard I try, people see through me ... They know something is wrong, and they always want to ask questions. ... Why wo ...   [retrieve this message]
                                    • I’m really sorry, especially if you feel I’ve intruded. It...   gustam9   5y
                                       
                                      I’m really sorry, especially if you feel I’ve intruded. It was presumptuous of me to start posting. I just really wanted to help, since I’ve known someone who’s gone through something similar. That was wrong of me to assume that gave me a right to give my two cents. I really hope I didn’t make you feel worse, and I will stop intruding... please know that it wasn’t my intention. I wish you all the best.   [End]
                                      • no no no.. not you, the people in my command ... and my fr...   jrivera   5y
                                         
                                        no no no.. not you, the people in my command ... and my friends   [End]
                                        • Okay, just wanted to make sure. I’m here to talk for as lo...   gustam9   5y
                                           
                                          Okay, just wanted to make sure. I’m here to talk for as long as you’d like, but I only want to be helpful so if it gets to a point where it’s not, let me know.   [End]
                                        • Re: I hate to sound like a broken record..but   Iolite   5y
                                           
                                          I completely understand how raw and on edge you feel and it is completely understandable. Please pick up some Bach’s rescue remedy and try it. It doesn’t contain any drugs, except for the small amount of alcohol for preservation. Take a few drops in water first thing in the morning. When you get to work, put a few drops in a mug of water and sip on it throughout the day. At night, take some more in some water before bed. Keep the bottle by your bed. When you wake up at night, carefully take all that is in a full dropperful in your mouth. It has a slight alcohol taste, but it’s not ...   [retrieve this message]
                                        • Re: done   gustam9   5y
                                           
                                          Haven’t seen a post in awhile. How are things going? Are things getting a little better?   [End]
    • Re: need help dont know what to do   champ2510   4y
       
      Hey Bud: ... ... I’m an active duty soldier and a recovering rape victim...so I know a little bit about what fears you are experiencing. Being military you have some excellent options. Try getting in touch with your chaplain or community health professional. It’s all confidential and your buddies won’t find out unless you tell them. It helped me. I understand bro. Keep your chin up and you’ll be in my prayers.   [End]
  • Image Embedded How to handle a Rapist   R InCharge   5y  C
     
    http://curezone.com/upload/Video/Rapist.bmp   [End]
    • To bad she didn’t bite it off..that is another technique. ...   Raynbo   5y
       
      To bad she didn’t bite it off..that is another technique. Messy, tho.   [End]
      • That’s only something you should attempt if they’re forcing...   tyciol   4y
         
        That’s only something you should attempt if they’re forcing you to give oral sex or something. It doesn’t make sense to do otherwise since it would involve lowering your head and putting yourself in a vulnerable position. ... ... If she had gone out of her way to do that in this situation I would want to see her locked up as she’d clearly have some kind of psychopathology.   [End]
    • Yayyy!!! GIRL POWER!!   Boldyloxx   5y
       
      Yayyy!!! GIRL POWER!!   [End]
    • One of the most amazing/heroic in years?   tyciol   4y
       
      One of just how many exactly? ... ... I’m really impressed with what she did, however we need to keep in mind she was defending herself. ... ... She is a very strong and competant woman who was brave, she didn’t let fear master her and she stood up to her aggressor and demonstrated force which may have saved her life. I am very impressed and she is a boon to society. ... ... But seriously, women have done WAY more amazing and heroic things, there’s no way this qualifies as even the top 10 of any given year, probably not even in her city.   [End]
  • The Survivor Mural Project   KristyKris26   5y  C
     
    Hi, I have recently initiated a project to raise global awareness of the prevalence and impact of sexual violence: www.survivormuralproject.com ... ... The Survivor Mural Project is a collaborative art project, and an opportunity for all survivors of rape, sexual abuse and assault to participate in breaking the silence surrounding sexual violence. Participants have the option to remain anonymous if they wish. ... ... How it works: ... Survivors from all over the world will send in individual mural pieces (8cm by 8cm), which will then be placed into a larger panel, made up of hundreds of mural pieces. T ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Speaking Out to Break the Silence on Male Sexual Assault   RRR Keith Smith   5y  C
     
    My name is Keith Smith. I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger. It wasn’t a neighbor, a coach, a relative, a family friend or teacher. It was a recidivist pedophile predator who spent time in prison for previous sex crimes; an animal hunting for victims in the quiet, bucolic, suburban neighborhoods of Lincoln, Rhode Island. ... ... I was able to identify the guy and the car he was driving. Although he was arrested that night and indicted a few months later, he never went to trial. His trial never took place because he was brutally beaten to death in Providence before his court date. 34 ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I’m sure your book is a great book and will be a great sell...   Midge   5y
       
      I’m sure your book is a great book and will be a great seller. But, you don’t have to live like this every day. Find a practitioner who uses EFT at http://www.emofree.com ... ... ... Or find a chiropractor who uses Neural Organizational Technique.....there are not many across the U.S. This technique takes your body out of fight/flight. To read about fight/flight go here http://www.healinghandschiropractic.org ... ... ... Blessing to you, ... Midge   [End]
    • I’m glad you are speaking out and making people aware that ...   Sparque   5y
       
      I’m glad you are speaking out and making people aware that males are also raped, violated, degraded. And not just by men, but also by women. ... Now this isn’t going to sound very nice or professional, but I hope your going public with some of the information doesn’t get the case reopened, and the police start looking for the exterminator who killed that guy. After all, he did a public service, for doing at least one good act. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. And for you....keep going, keep working on getting stronger, and by all means, get some help to make the growth a bit less painful.   [End]
    • I hope you sell a million copies! I also hope that it helps...   latchon   5y
       
      I hope you sell a million copies! I also hope that it helps people who have had similiar circumstance.   [End]
  • My story   anonitis   5y  C
     
    I have decided to delete my story. ... Sorry.   [End]
    • Video Embedded Question:   UserX   5y
       
      Why are you assuming that you are paranoid? ... ... You need to know that there are PLENTY of ”professionals” in the ”mental health care” industry that are 1) wounded and unable to effectively deal with their clients abuse because they have not acknowledged their own abuse... let alone address it, and 2) doing all sorts of things in order to cover up the incidents of sexual abuse. Here is such an example... ... ...   [End]
    • Re: My story   puterbaugh   5y
       
      This is a very short story?   [End]
  • First hand account of male to male rape and abused male tes...   trindenise   6y  C
     
    I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Trin Denise. I’m a rape survivor, I’m female and I’m a screenwriter. I write movie feature screenplays and currently have my first novel under publishing consideration. I’ve decided to write a screenplay based on male to male rape survivors and the effects it has on the survivors lives. I’m doing research by interviewing actual victims in order to give a factual based story. I do not need to know your identity to hear your story. If you do disclose it to me but wish to remain anonymous I will respect your wish and keep all confidences. This includes ...   [retrieve this message]
  • new member looking for a place I can tell my story in comf...   virgo66   6y  C
     
    I am a man. I became a member just recently and am unsure about posting for the first time. ... ... I have been reading postings and am glad to find a resource that has common ground. I have been thru hell and back over the last six months. ... ... I started a new job and had an alcoholic coworker that triggered memories of my mostly forgotten past. I have been going to sessions twice a week for the last month now. I have hit the hardest part to deal with just recently. ... My emotions have been on a roller coaster. This is hard talk about but I have to just do it. ... ... I was raped when I was 11 by a bo ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I’m sorry for your pain and confusion. What you are describ...   RRR #102879   6y
       
      I’m sorry for your pain and confusion. What you are describing has been happening to young males in epidemic proportions. No doubt it also happened to your friend and he was just repeating what he had been trained to do by someone else. But you in your heart know what is right and who you really are, a young man who wants a wife and a family. What happened to you is not who you are. It was a very negative experience which for some people who perhaps like your friend gets innocently caught up in it; allow it to rob them of a normal future. So many have gone down that path and are promoting ...   [retrieve this message]
      • So sorry about your story. ... Don’t worry about being a ”v...   Jimsgirl   6y
         
        So sorry about your story. ... Don’t worry about being a ”virgin”. Just work on healing yourself and accepting yourself and a attracting a good relationship. In the worry about experiencing sex in itself you may attract another manipulative person. Accept where you are right now. You are very brave to talk about this and admit it even to yourself that it happened, some people can’t do that. You were a child and you were horribly treated and betrayed emotionally. Sometimes that’s the harder part to deal with then the physical aspects. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing great, better ...   [retrieve this message]
      • I want to thank both of you for your very kind and supporti...   virgo66   6y
         
        I want to thank both of you for your very kind and supportive responses. It sucks that so many people are victimized in many ways that hurt so much. I think the point made about finding a girlfriend at this point could attract the wrong type with bad intentions. I really don’t want to be victimized again. I have to keep my focus on healing and I hope the rest falls into place. the emotional pain is the hardest part for me to deal with right now. I have this urge of wanting a big warm bear hug from my friends but feel like I can’t because of fear. I know my friends won’t hurt me but to ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Maybe you could get a therapeutic massage?   Jimsgirl   6y
           
          Maybe you could get a therapeutic massage?   [End]
          • I have been thinking and that sounds like a good idea. This...   virgo66   6y
             
            I have been thinking and that sounds like a good idea. This might be a better way to get used to touching. I would think I would have some control in case I didn’t like some part of it. I’ll think on it some more and will most likely just do it. I get in a mode (impulsive)where I just set aside all my reasons why I can’t do something and go for it. Then later I wonder why I didn’t try something sooner. It’s kind of the struggle between the kid and adult in me, I’m guessing.   [End]
            • I was molested by a cousin when I was 5, he was in his 20’s...   Midge   5y
               
              I was molested by a cousin when I was 5, he was in his 20’s. I’ve gotten wonderful help. Today’s therapy really isn’t that helpful. I have a couple of suggestions: go to emofree.com and you’ll get a lot of help there. Also, find a chiropractor who uses Neural Organizational Technique (N.O.T.), there are not very many across the US that use this technique. If you live in or near Michigan I know a great one that has helped me. ... I hope this helps. Sorry for your horrible pain. ... Midge   [End]
  • Help yourself and others   kocc6ny2   6y
     
    A few years ago, I had worked with an ex-girlfriend to deal with her rape as a child (she’s 9 years old then) by members of her foster home. She left that home at 13 years old and was on the streets doing odd jobs supporting herself since. She was adopted at 5 years old, no one in that family treated her well, not even the foster mum (which is her aunt btw, mom’s side). She’s 30 now and as I understand, still sends some money back to support her 70 year old foster mum. ... ... Her memory of her ordeal no longer brings trauma, but peaceful understanding and acknowledgement from her own perspecti ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Note to Senders and Recipients (Trauma)   kocc6ny2   6y
       
      Note to Senders and Recipients (Trauma) ... ... Related post ... http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1158130 ... ... Please try to understand that emotional trauma cannot be healed by counseling, hypnosis or any other supporting methods, other than energetic transformation of some kind. This is because there is an ”energy” aspect to every emotion and that is embedded in the psyche. Unless you employ an effective energy transformation technique, the energy of the trauma will always be there. ... ... This energy transcends layers of the physical, emotional, psychological and mind. It is an energy aspect that ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Domestic Violence and Abuse Survey   SoulfulSurvivor   6y  C
     
    Please, take a few minutes and complete the Domestic Violence and Abuse Survey. ... ... ... http://curezone.com/faq/p/s.asp?a=25,1720,2956&s=58 ...   [End]
  • teenage raped when i was 5-6 seeking help   #90032   7y  C
     
    i was pschyologically and physically raped when i was 5 and 6 i’ve kept it to myself most of my life just in fear if people found out they would never look at me the same and this exstends to at times a complete singular focus on it as i try to explain ... i can live with it for most of my days but every few years i’ll have a month or two where i just totally break down and it can last for a few months... i’ve told a few but it really doesn’t help much... i’ve never really been able to tell people that were close the ones i told were acquaintances at most.. and recently its been bothering ...   [retrieve this message]
    • The first thing to realize is that you’re not alone. Unfort...   Megabite   7y
       
      The first thing to realize is that you’re not alone. Unfortunately, rape is more common than previously thought. It has been common down through History. ... ... People tend to be embarrassed and ashamed, so they are afraid to tell anyone and they keep it to themselves. And then there is the other side of the coin. You tell people what happened to you, and some of them are cold, insensitive or idiotic about it. ... ... And then there are those people who are very sensitive and understanding (yes they are out there) ... ... So it’s like a double edged sword. You can stay silent, and you feel so different ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Yes, EFT will help. Go to emofree.com. Read all you can, do...   #45538   6y
       
      Yes, EFT will help. Go to emofree.com. Read all you can, download the the FREE book. ... ... It was not your fault. You were young and didn’t know. I myself was molested when I was 5 and it last 2 years. It has caused me many health issues that I’m now dealing with. I’m dealing with my past which is helping the present. ... ... Light and Love   [End]
    • ok sir im sorry to here this but i have worked with many ...   demon-fighter   6y
       
      ok sir im sorry to here this but i have worked with many a rape victim here is the only way one can be free of this destruction from within first one must become a christian then they have to forgive the person who done this for the unforgiving leaves a door open for the evil to attack you evil i mean demonic forces who watch you day and night who put the thoughts and feeling into you or increase the bad thoughts and emotions that torment you does this sound crazy ? yes but im a delieverance minister and seen this many times what have you to lose but your torment if you wa ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Rape refers to physical sex without consent. ’Psychological...   tyciol   4y
       
      Rape refers to physical sex without consent. ’Psychological rape’ would only be a metaphor. ... ... There is psychological ’abuse’ though, such as emotional abuse, neglect, coersion and a variety of other things. Better labels.   [End]
  • Raped a decade ago   R #89475   7y  C
     
    How to deal? For ten years I’ve been asking myself that question.. I’ve asked others.. and I still don’t have an answer after ten years. I still have nightmares, more frequently on the anniversary of the days I was raped. Ten years ago I was traveling around the country with no money and no cares. My parents had just gotten divorced after 24 years of marriage and I was looking for the answer to life. I left my cozey home in Florida and went to Denver to stay for awhile. I had nothing but a suitcase of clothes but I had hope that the world was a good place. I started working two jobs and li ...   [retrieve this message]
    • I hate to sound harsh but, you need to get over this! You s...   #89280   7y
       
      I hate to sound harsh but, you need to get over this! You say this guy stole a piece of you ,not true ,he may have stole three days out fo your life but no one can take from you what you don’t want to give! You life is yours and nobody elses! ... You also need to stop spreading your misery around , four children by three women and another one on the way! ??? And now you are getting involved with another women??? ... Shouldnt you stop these affairs until you can stop making babies and get your own life straightened out first??? Then maybe you can go back and help repair some of the damage you hav ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Your response IS harsh, though you do make some valid point...   #75156   7y
         
        Your response IS harsh, though you do make some valid points. Rape, particularly in cases of a man enduring sexual assault by another man, is something that a person just can’t simply ”get over” even after a decade. The degradation of rape cannot ever be understated, as this gentleman’s story witnesses. Nearly all victims of rape experience post traumatic stress syndrome which is manifested through thought and deed. Get over it? Have you no compassion or empathy? ... ... I would suggest to the original poster that he seek group support and individual counseling. Furthermore I would gently ...   [retrieve this message]
        • My compassion was for the children and the other lives he i...   #89280   7y
           
          My compassion was for the children and the other lives he is taking down with him! And yes I think he needed a kick in the pants for his own good. He can let this one time episode ruin his life and others or he can choose to get over it, its his choice no one elses. ... Though the event of his was horrendous he has no compassion himself in the way he is abusing of these women and his many out of wedlock children. ... Someone as troubled as he should not be having babies with every women he meets! ...   [End]
          • Re: 89er280...   Megabite   7y
             
            89280 you are not only harsh you are a real jerk, a real @$$hole. ... ... Have YOU ever been KIDNAPPED and raped? Do you know what it is to have Post Traumatic Stress? I suggest you study it, and study it well, and only hope something like this never happens to you. ... ... And this is a SUPPORT Forum, not a bashing Forum. If you don’t have anything SUPPORTIVE to say to a Rape Victim, then you need to STFU. ... ... You are the one who needs a kick in the pants! }:(   [End]
            • I think you need to get over it also. I see no need in codd...   #89280   7y
               
              I think you need to get over it also. I see no need in coddling any ones abusive behavior. One can only play the victim card for so long. This guys is a walking hazard and shouls be not allowed to breed. He has 5 kids and one on the way and three mates with out a clue as to how he will deal with any of them. He needs to stop playing victim before he winds up as a child abuser himself. Yes reality is harsh and besides I knew he would find plenty of knee jerk liberals here to coddle him.   [End]
              • The fact that the original poster has made mistakes in his ...   #75156   7y
                 
                The fact that the original poster has made mistakes in his choices stands on its own merit. He has openly posted his mistakes in choices, behaviors, and gave as much detail as he could bear to explain (NOT EXCUSE) his choices. What he is doing is asking for help, at this point. No doubt, he has experienced a ”kick in the pants,” already with five offspring (soon to be six) that he must support financially for the next 18 years. He is AWARE of his mistakes. ... ... Honesty can sometimes be uncomfortable, but it should NEVER be cruel such as your initial post was and subsequent post maintains ...   [retrieve this message]
              • knee jerk liberals   #75156   7y
                 
                ***Yes reality is harsh and besides I knew he would find plenty of knee jerk liberals here to coddle him.*** ... ... So, are you implying that a survivor of spousal rape, domestic abuse, spousal battery, and post traumatic stress syndrome is a ***knee jerk liberal?*** Are you suggesting that any empathy, support, encouragement, or guidance for this victim is ***CODDLING?!?!?!*** Is it because this victim is a man that compels you to make such statements? Do you believe that he should be ABLE to ***get over it*** due to his gender? You need to step off, pal. If you are lucky enough to have ...   [retrieve this message]
              • Re: 89er280...   Megabite   7y
                 
                ”Get over it”??? Get over what, such as get over the rapist who raped my daughter that I had to testify against in Court yesterday??? Get over reading another poster’s kidnapping and rape which sounds and feels horribly similar??? ... ... #@ Get over it”??? Get over what, such as get over the rapist who raped my daughter that I had to testify against in Court yesterday??? Get over reading another poster’s kidnapping and rape which sounds and feels horribly similar??? ... ... #@ % YOU! ... ... YOU are the one ”coddling” people’s abusive behavior by coddling rapists with your ”blame the victim” attitude. P ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: Raped a decade ago   savainababygirl746   7y
       
      hi I was raped 7 years ago and I understand how you feel I still find myself pushing my loved ones away but i’ve also come to find that the ones that are meant to stick around do stick around no matter what you do to them. I’ve put my roommate through hell for the past 7 years but she still sticks around even though at times I threaten her life and threaten my own life. I’ve also realized that you have to forgive the person that raped you even though that sounds stupid. I wouldn’t let anyone touch me for years at all because I thought everyone was just as much of a monster as he is. But th ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Well, this ”forgiving” of your tormentor/attacker (not talk...   been there done that   7y
         
        Well, this ”forgiving” of your tormentor/attacker (not talking about someone who is still attacking) is philosophical. If ”forgiving” works for some people, it doesn’t mean everyone is ready to do the same. ... ... Forgiving an attacker is subconsciously/philosophically like saying that what they did is okay. ... ... Of course, what I’m saying is politically incorrect,...ok, next time someone beats your head in, I should say to you ”So what?, that doesn’t bother ME, just forgive them” (or did you want empathy/compassion?). It’s not very nice to EVER tell someone to forgive, it should be ONLY their p ...   [retrieve this message]
      • 7 years, 70 years...when it comes to a violation like this....   sparque   6y
         
        7 years, 70 years...when it comes to a violation like this....time seems to stand still. There are times I still feel the burn and pain. The feeling of degradation, hurt, humiliation. But I do have to disagree with needing to forgive. I thought that cliche went out in the 80’s. I am so fortunate that my therapist never pushed that, nor even suggested it. There were people in my group who had been stuck for years trying to forgive, They could even say the words, then feel suicidal, go home and cut themselves, feeling guilty, enraged, confused afterwards. ... The therapist instead, helped lead ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Ever hear of a condom...are your children living decent liv...   imaxfli   7y
       
      Ever hear of a condom...are your children living decent lives or are they in poverty.   [End]
    • Yes, you can escape Seattle. Go to emofree.com and read all...   #45538   6y
       
      Yes, you can escape Seattle. Go to emofree.com and read all that you can there. Download the FREE book. It works. ... ... Do it for yourself first. Then do it for your kids. ... ... Light and Love   [End]
    • I am so sorry to hear your story. ...   anonitis   5y
       
      I am so sorry to hear your story. ...   [End]
  • Harrowing Study on Abused Husbands   typhonblue   7y  C
     
    Deconstructing self-defense in wife-to-husband violence. ... ... Source: The Journal of Men’s Studies ... ... Publication Date: 03/22/2004 ... ... Author: Sarantakos, Sotirios ... ... COPYRIGHT 2004 Men’s Studies Press ... ... ... ... Over the years, community responses to wives’ violence against their husbands have been diverse, although the overall general attitude has been one of both tolerance and dismissiveness. When alleged ... violence by wives was first reported, many critics dismissed such wife-initiated violence on the grounds that ... such violence did not (could not) exist. When evidence of such violence incre ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Male on Male Rape   burell11   7y
     
    I was molested at the age of 5 and raped at the age of 12. The first was a 15 yr old girl. The second was 3 males. The rape was violent and left me with nerve damage and HPV. Dont accept drinks from people you dont know. if you dont want to be rude, take the drink and leave it somewhere. Dont be a VICTIM! I was assaulted for almost 4 hours by 3 guys. I couldnt do anything, but I was very clear on what was going on. I could hear and feel, but I couldnt move or talk. I could feel I was naked.   [End]
  • Male victim   mx   9y  C
     
    I know it sounds unusual. My wife kept me from working so I wouldn’t have any money and then used my helplessness to get me to do things like sodomy with a strap-on dildo; if I didn’t she’d threaten to call the cops (they have to arrest you if there’s a complaint). I finally left depsite how hard it was.   [End]
    • Hello all. Let me first say to other rape survivors reading...   lovemy_babies   9y
       
      Wow. For so many women that sounds familiar. I sincerely hop your able tgo find the support you need. good job on leaving the wife though. Be strong.   [End]
      • This statement ”for so many women that sounds familiar” app...   typhonblue   7y
         
        This statement ”for so many women that sounds familiar” appears to be designed to minimize his pain as a male victim of rape and abuse. ... ... Is male victimization like this rare, or is it rarely reported because most men know the system isn’t interested in their pain? ... ... I know more men who are abused then women. These men never go to the police, they never report whats going on, they believe they should take care of it on their own, partly because they are men and its expected that they shouldn’t bother anyone with their troubles and partly because they know no one in power will bother to h ...   [retrieve this message]
        • Will all due respect, your response was uncalled for. Yes, ...   Kwillz   7y
           
          Will all due respect, your response was uncalled for. Yes, male rape is just as serious as female rape, but as you said, it isn’t reported as much; so someone who read his account may just be shocked at how close it is to the accounts of women (as I believe is the case with lovemy_babies). ... ... And women do not have people tripping over to help them. Female rape victims are reluctant to report their assault, and are rarely believed when they do. Most rapist are not convicted. There’s even a recent account of 17 year old gang raped by college baseball team members. No convictions. ... ... Lets all ...   [retrieve this message]
          • *****Will all due respect, your response was uncalled for. ...   typhonblue   7y
             
            *****Will all due respect, your response was uncalled for. Yes, male rape is just as serious as female rape, but as you said, it isn’t reported as much; so someone who read his account may just be shocked at how close it is to the accounts of women (as I believe is the case with lovemy_babies).***** ... ... Which is why I used the word ”appears”, not ”is”. ... ... *****And women do not have people tripping over to help them. Female rape victims are reluctant to report their assault, and are rarely believed when they do.***** ... ... Serial rapists who prey exclusively on men will victimize more individua ...   [retrieve this message]
            • ”I’m so very sorry for the part my gender plays in creating...   SoulfulSurvivor   7y
               
              ”I’m so very sorry for the part my gender plays in creating such an enviroment of disregard.” ... ... One of the most difficult and unjust occurances in worldwide human culture is rape - an act of violence, control, humiliation, and shame. For men, rape and/or spousal abuse, and/or domestic violence is hardly acknowledged, much less given attention. ... ... It is truly unfortunate that anyone endured the humiliation, degradation, and pain of having such an act forced upon them, but it bears consideration that gender has nothing to do with acts of violence and/or control - men do rape women. Women ...   [retrieve this message]
              • More rhetoric   tyciol   4y
                 
                I am really tired of hearing this ’not about sex’ repeated. Sexual acts are sexual, they ARE about sex, in some regard. ... ... It may be primarily about other issues. It may be primarily about them the majority of the time. ... ... Perhaps it is never primarily about sex, or perhaps those instances where it is primarily about sex are a minority of the cases. ... ... But generalizations like ’it is never about sex’ are unsupported and few believe them. ... ... About the only way you could justify this is to say something like ’sex is about power’ which is something I could actually agree with for the majority ...   [retrieve this message]
          • Re: Male victim   typhonblue   7y
             
            I just realized that I didn’t give an explaination of what prompted my responce. ... ... The prompt was MX’s fear of being arrested if his wife called the cops. This is a very real fear for many abused men. That, even though their _wives_ are the primary or sole aggressors, that they will be labled such because they are men. Even with visible injuries. ... ... The system seems to be locked into ”man-aggressor/woman-victim” and if there is a domestic disturbance, the cops often prefer to buy into lazy and/or chivalrous thinking rather then really suss out the situation. ... ... The fact that this systemic ...   [retrieve this message]
            • Really, I personally don’t feel that you needed to explain ...   SoulfulSurvivor   7y
               
              Really, I personally don’t feel that you needed to explain your response - we all have our own opinions about this, and other, issues. ... ... I remember working with a gal who had been raped by a group of women - these women inflicted incredible damage to her reproductive organs in their cruelty and sickness. Now (aside from the rape), what struck me as completely sick was that one of the police officers that heard about the crime actually said, in an office environment, ”That could have made a million if someone had taped it!” He was, of course, referring to the pornographic industry and ( ...   [retrieve this message]
              • Porn industry   tyciol   4y
                 
                I have no idea what kind of stuff he’s watching, the main reason I enjoy lesbian erotica is that it tends to be the most gentle kind. When men are involved there tends to be more of a penchant for vigorousness.   [End]
          • College Baseball   tyciol   4y
             
            Is it possible that a rape did not occur and that is the reason the accused were not convicted?   [End]
  • need help finding site for men that have been raped.   41976   9y  C
     
    I was raped while in the military in 1988 and have yet to seek any help. my wife knows about the rape and has suggested that I seek help for it. ... ... can anyone give me a site to go to for men that have been raped by other men. ... ... I would like to know more about what I can do, I am about at my wits end and dont know what to do anymore.   [End]
    • Here's two techniques and some info.   nordskoven   9y
       
      When the military held their ”Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” hearings, one of the grim sidebars was regarding the tendency of homosexual sex offenders to have ”serial” behavior. This horrific pattern is one reason the stats for male child molestation are so high when the homosexual populace is so low. As you know, many sexual predators were themselves preyed upon, and they try to relive the power play, now casting themselves as the ”winner.” I hope you will help to lobby for more rigid control of sex offenders, especially in light of recent cases. ... ... I do commend two means of resolving the trauma. ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Re: need help finding site for men that have been raped.   Rebecca80   9y
       
      Hi hun ... ... The only male only support forum I know of is on http://pandys.org/ I have a rape and sexual abuse forum on my site (www.girlnation.org) that’s heavily moderated and open to all survivors male and female. We’d be happy to help you. ... ... This is the most well known male rape site http://www.alltheseyears.net/male.htm ... http://www.rainn.org/ is the best known US rape support site - it helps both men and women ... These are in the UK, but can help you wherever you’re from ... http://www.malerapesexualabuse.ik.com/ ... http://www.survivorsuk.org.uk/ ... http://www.maleabuse.org/ ... ... http://ww ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Advice needed please   #14727   9y  C
     
    My boyfriend was drugged and raped about 6 months ago now.It’s still very raw in our minds,probably more mine than his.He’s had a pretty tough life so far and not too good at opening up.Whereas I am very emotional person I still cry thinking about it now.He didn’t go to police as he felt ashamed and embarassed. ... Last night he told me that one of his abusers came into his work (same place he was drugged)about 4 weeks ago.They had a photo (don’t want to know what of but i can imagine) and asked him for money otherwise they would show everyone at his work.He saw photo so knows they are not b ...   [retrieve this message]
    • [Message Body Hidden by a Forum Moderator]   Invincible   9y
       
      [Message Body Hidden by a Forum Moderator]   [End]
    • This is a very very disturbing story. You don’t have to tak...   saylok2000   9y
       
      This is a very very disturbing story. You don’t have to take these guys to court or anything, because it probably has been to long for that. But you guys CAN file a complaint and get a restraining order of these guys. That way if someone else ever goes to the police with the same complaint, even without proof, they are way more likely of being convicted, good luck sweetie,your doing a great job staying strong for him,   [End]
  • The Power Men have to heal and destroy lives.... this is a ...   newlifemessenger   9y  C
     
    One of them raped me, he was referred to by officials as the ”Ted Bundy” of Colorado. ... ... http://www.precious-testimonies.com/BornAgain/a-c/Ceci1.htm ... ... This story is not for the weak, fainthearted or children. I haven’t ever met anyone who live through somthing like this and ... God helped them not to even feel the affects of it! But It might help someone who is feeling sorry for themselves pull out of it! I have had thousands of people read it, and the History Channel is doing a special next month with the good guy in it. ”He was a former Hollywood Stunt Man and Evel Kneviels Body Guard ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Need help to support my husband   RN caet   10y  C
     
    Hello all ... I’ve come to this forum hoping I can learn to support my husband and understand him better. He was raped by a 15 yo boy when he was just 10. ... He told me about this after we were married and I did not manage to give him the support or understand the implicit cry for help embedded in his telling me. ... Our marriage almost ended and he brought my failure to help him up as one of the reasons that we had got to that point. ... I did not discuss it with him and help him work through the issues. When he told me about it, I felt embarrassed and that I would be intruding on private pain if ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Dear Friend, ... I am so sorry to hear that your marriage i...   cerasela   10y
       
      Dear Friend, ... I am so sorry to hear that your marriage is coming apart... ... And I am so sad to hear that your husband’s life was so affected by the rape... ... I have been raped multiple times and I could not tell, I am Romanian and people don’t even talk about those things there. First time it was when I was only 5 years old. That was a nightmare...because it was beyond my comprehension at that age. Later it was still bad, but it didn’t affect me so much. When I was 25 years old I came to America and I knew exactly what I was getting, a life where people can not mess with you that way...rape. ...   [retrieve this message]
    • HI - Your feelings for your husband problem are to personal...   tjake13   10y
       
      HI - Your feelings for your husband problem are to personal. You and he need to be objective about his sexual encounter. This is not unusual sex. Boys and girls experiment everyday. He might think that he initiated the encounter; maybe he did, so what! Either way, he’s beating himself up over a childhood incident! What he should do, is bring out any past hurts, then tell himself that it’s over with. If he can’t do this, then he wants to beat himself up. What you might be able to do to bring him out, is start telling him about some of your mistakes, and that you’ve forgiven yourself ...   [retrieve this message]
      • TJake - ... I am having a difficult time reigning myself in...   #36234   10y
         
        TJake - ... I am having a difficult time reigning myself in from really telling you how inappropriate your response to this person is. ... ... Rape is not ”sexual experimentation” between young people. Sexual experimentation is CONSENSUAL. Rape is NON-CONSENSUAL. Do you see the difference? ... ... If this man had gay sex as a young man, that would be a completely different discussion. That is NOT what happened. According to his wife, he was 10 years old and was raped by a 15 year old. We don’t have to know the details to know that people don’t make this kind of thing up. Your suggesting that he ...   [retrieve this message]
  • Friend of Nephew and Son Rapes Neighbor   #27810   10y  C
     
    Hi, ... ... A neighbor of ours was raped last night by a 17 year old who was staying with my nephews family. He’s been staying with my bro and sis in law for some time now. ... ... Nephew says that last night he went for a walk...came back a few hours later. Was a little mopey so he asked him what was wrong. The boy said ”if I told you you would never forgive me.” Then the cops pulled in. ... ... Apparently he entered the house...walked past the husband who was asleep on the couch and found the wife upstairs. I don’t know if he was going to rob the place and she caught him and this was his way of sh ...   [retrieve this message]
    • Let it go. say silent prayers for her. ... I lived in a sma...   #19236   10y
       
      Let it go. say silent prayers for her. ... I lived in a small town, if you do nothing small town people will MAKE UP stories about you, just to have something to talk about. ... ignore it. ... if she wants to file charges offer to be a support. if not just let it heal. someone should get that kid into counseling. ... i was raped then assaulted by my ex fiance, it got nowhere in prosecution and then he turned it all against me to try to hurt me and intimidate me to stop prosecution of him for the rape and assault. he wanted to avoid exposure of what he had done. it was a nightmare. ... rape is ugly. i lea ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Thanks for sharing your insight. ... ... I know that peop...   #27810   10y
         
        Thanks for sharing your insight. ... ... I know that people are going to talk...thats a give...but to do so so casually like you were talking about what you had for dinner just smacks of having no regard for this poor woman. ... ... I’m going to take your approach. I’ll keep her in prayers and provide some meals for the family if she’ll let me. I spoke with her sister and she said she doesn’t want to go back to the house. This is way understandable but now poses another major problem as she and hubby run a bed and breakfast and a garden center out of their home. ... ... I can understand your mistrust ...   [retrieve this message]
      • Re: Friend of Nephew and Son Rapes Neighbor TO 19236   tjake13   10y
         
        At least you cost him some money, and his reputation. He might not do it again.   [End]

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