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- hi, anyone else fasting, want to be buddies?
by lauray
19 days
155
Fasting: General
/ Addiction:
/ Art
/ 4
/ 5
/ 6
| | |
hi, I am fasting and seeking someone to post with or message daily-ish. ... ... more info upon request! ... ... I’m fine with posting it, just rushed at the moment. ... ... Fasting to address depression and some kind of liver issue. Primarily these arose from compulsive overeating/food addiction. ... ... I love fasting! ... ... Aiming to make it a regular part of my life. ... ... Let me hear from you! [End]
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- Re: hi, anyone else fasting, want to be buddies?
by #130376
12 days
108
| | |
Hello, ... ... Day 1 for me today,would love a buddy if you are still looking.I need to lose a drastic amount of weight and fast. ... ... I have been over eating and need to get back in control. ... ... Message me back ... ... x [End]
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- Re: hi, anyone else fasting, want to be buddies?
by Inma
11 days
94
| | |
Hi. Today I started my 42 days water fasting. I fast like this every other year. I need this year extra motivación, because I feel a bit depressed and very fat. My ñame is Inma and I am 41 yo. I need to lose 60 pounds to be in my healthy and ideal weight. I hope i will lose at least 40 pounds. ... If you want we can do it toguether. ... Good luck ... [End]
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- Re: hi, anyone else fasting, want to be buddies?
by Lucky Magik
10 days
76
| | |
Looking for a fasting buddy as well, im currently on day 5 so far. Alot tougher then i thought it was going to be. [End]
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- Re: hi, anyone else fasting, want to be buddies?
by lauray
5 days
44
| | |
hi!!! ... let me hear from you again! ... ... i started a fast but lost it on about day 3 due to inexperience/lack of focus/not checking in for support.../having other stuff going on... ... ... still, i have some good news... ... ... i have now after a lot of struggle achieved a committed raw food only diet for life and this took a lot of work. for 3 years i was eating processed food, relapsing from a ”food sobriety” of raw foods only diet that i had maintained for 2 yrs prior to that (may 2008 to may 2010... then may 2010 to may 6 2013 i ate processed foods, with may 6 of this yr -- 8 days ago -- being the ...
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- Re: hi, anyone else fasting, want to be buddies?
by lauray
4 days
38
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hi, again, ... someone wrote asking me about my going raw. ... here is what i wrote back: ... ... hey... ... great to hear from you ... ... i actually have gone raw as of 8 days ago and am committed to it now as a life choice... i have 8 days , almost in day 9 raw now. ... ... i need to fast in order to heal generally (depression, liver issues, anxiety) and going raw is (has always been) the first step... next comes kicking calorie-dense/high-calorie/fat/sugar ”raw binge foods”/raw ’junk’ food out of my diet permanently... i am a severe chronic entrenched ”comfort eater” in spite of severe serious consequence ...
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- more about raw foods
by lauray
4 days
48
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I wrote another letter to someone on Curezone about how I am using a raw-only diet to stop my bingeing and achieve a ”fasting way of life” (i.e., a way that includes regular fasts). The person asked about a high fruit and low fat diet as a specific strategy for doing raw food only diet. ... ... Here is the letter I just wrote: ... thanks!!!!! ... ... I appreciate the good wishes, ... ... Interestingly, when I was on raw food only for 2 years, May 2008 to May 2010, I sort of naturally followed a diet of much fruit/low fat. I was starting to be successful with fasting, just a bit, at the end of that period, ...
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- Progress toward fasting: DAY ONE! 500 calories a day Raw Foods
by lauray
63 h
34
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Tomorrow Friday May 17th will be my first day of doing a therapeutic low calorie diet. I will have no more than 500 calories a day, raw food only. This i will stick to until I have gotten some healing. It is sort of like a fast. I hope the diet phases into some fasting. ... ... I always feel much better when I do low calories. I look forward to feeling better. Really my body would like to fast but my food addiction is intense and my emotions as an addict prevent me from totally abstaining from food for a sustained period... and after brief fasts I sort of binge... I don’t like this, so , ...
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- Report on Day One: Preparation for Fasting, Low Calorie Intake
by lauray
42 h
23
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I have kept it down to 694 calories today, Friday , may 17th... goal being to do 500 a day for a week, then 1200-1500 daily for a week, then 500 for a week, alternating, and cleaning up my diet on a permanent basis during all this so that eventually, I will be committed permanently to a diet which is non-addictive and thus makes giving up food (fasting) much more possible for me, if not exactly easy. ... ... I think this is a good plan for me, the alternating of weeks of low calorie and ”normal” intake. My body desperately needs to fast and since my being stuck in food addiction prevents this ...
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- Lonely codependent señior mother.
by #23475
63 days
112
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How much it huts, not sure if the sadnessnes will go away some dasy. I have two kids, and I expected much from them, but I´m facing my reality and letting go all my dreams of what seemrd to be unrelistic expectations about them, letting go all this dream is like mouring the emotinal loss of my two kids.My daughter is a stone hearted woman, who is verbably abusive, and if I ask for something she treats me like shit. She sees the way I react to her misstreast but , she is never awate of what she has done before. So all the blame is on me. ... I had a sweet loving nice son, but she married a co ...
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- Re: Lonely codependent señior mother.
by BlueRose
62 days
112
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”No judging please” you say, but I’m not sure what you mean. ... ... I looked at your past posts to see if I could learn more about your situation. It seems that you’ve had a problem with your daughter-in-law for several years now. Back then, I saw that you got great advice in that thread, so I won’t go there now. ... ... As for your daughter---If you say that you mention to her about how badly she has treated you in the past, she doesn’t remember doing so. Possibly, she is a narcissist but I don’t know for sure. ... ... Have you tried sitting down with your daughter and asking her why she has a probl ...
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- Re: Lonely codependent señior mother.
by #23475
60 days
90
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Hi Blue Rose, thanks for reading my post and trying to help me. ... To be honest, I don´t know what the problem is. Since my daughter was a kid, she was a very mad kid who always shouted to me. She got worst during adolecense and the last 10 years things have gone worst.She blames me for all her problems. She can´t find a good man because of me. ... I think that she got many traits from my ex husband, who was a macho, power oriented dominieering and controlling man. ... I might not be perfect but I tried to do my best. Her dad as well as myself come from a dysfunctional families. So we made a dysfu ...
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- Re: Lonely codependent señior mother.
by SoulfulSurvivor
11 days
34
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”Toxic” individuals drain our energies and create distractions from our own personal progression. They also feed on our vulnerabilities and despise what strengths we possess. ... ... Regardless of what a toxic person’s ”agenda” is, we have options, even if they aren’t pleasant. You may opt to engage in some strong counseling therapy in order to sort out your feelings with regard to your own personal experiences and to help you process through the grieving process of your experiences. ... ... I type this because I have an adult child who is 100% sociopath and it was an intensive grieving proces ...
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- Do you want to make a love confessions!!! (Edited by Moderator)
by richard02
6 mon
124
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Love is a part of life and at times can get overwhelming. ... ... [End]
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- Social Networks and NO CONTACT
by SoulfulSurvivor
7 mon
2,292
NPD: Narcissism Surv
/ Abuse Phys
/ Codependen
/ 4
/ 5
| | |
NO CONTACT is the first rule of recovery from toxic relationships. Especially in cases of sociopathic behaviors and abuse, the source targets (or, victims) feel the need to make the toxic person hear and understand what they’ve experienced. The harsh truth is that the spath doesn’t care, didn’t care, and never will "care." They don’t. And, they won’t. So, trying to "fix" things or educate the spath about what they’ve done is a waste of time and keeps the victims connected to the toxicity. ... ... Going "No Contact" is difficult, b ...
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- Further discusion
by SoulfulSurvivor
7 mon
2,155
| | |
The benefit and purpose of "No Contact" is to put and end to the madness and to take back control of our own lives, thoughts, feelings, and actions. Technological "contact" with the toxic person is a self-inflicted injury when we choose to view their online social profiles and posts after we have discovered that the person in question has deliberately caused harm. Certainly, the toxic individual isn’t going to post anything truthful, and playing out the aspects of one’s life through technological means is causing human beings to literally lose thei ...
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- Re: Further discusion
by #154829
7 mon
1,938
| | |
WEll versed soul survior! ... ... I, too had to cut off my ties to individuals that are emotionally toxic and they have no boundaries at all. ... Some are so detrimental to my health that I found myself in bed and could hardly scrape myself off the floor for years. ... ... The best thing I did was stand up to them, call them on it, denial of course and until I forced them to own it. ... Then there are others as you say a waste of oxygen, they can be so draining if allowed to continue their abusive ways. ... When it is family members this is the toughest of all. ... I had to block many phone numbers recently an ...
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- Spath as parents
by SoulfulSurvivor
7 mon
1,990
| | |
I’m reading that you’re unhappy in your marriage and that you have two children with your husband. I understand the fear of severing a marriage when children are invovled. But, I can tell you one truth that is ugly: your children are learning how to be victims or predators, themselves, by watching and absorbing the dynamics of this "family." ... ... Why are you resorting to manipulations to get simple needs met? Manipulations are toxic no matter who’s having to resort to employing them, and for whatever circumstances. And, your children are learning this ...
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- Re: Spath as parents
by #154829
7 mon
2,239
| | |
I have been reading all morning on sociopaths. ... ... That is him to a T. ... ... I am making my plans to leave. ... ... Thank you [End]
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- Heart is broken, help!!
by SunflowerGirl1121
8 mon
1,190
Codependency
/ Abuse Phys
/ Anxiety
/ 4
| | |
I have made some very bad choices that I am really afraid of. ... ... ... I’m a 23 year old girl who broke up with my fiancé of three years about three months ago. He was kind, caring, sweet and dependable. He was always willing to listen and put me first. For some reason that I do not understand yet, the relationship started to get boring for me. He was a nice man but he didn’t do many of the things I wanted to do at the time and my friends said he was a little controlling and overly emotional. I thought I would find more happiness if I called things off. ... ... Things went ok for a while until I st ...
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- Re: Heart is broken, help!!
by SoulfulSurvivor
8 mon
1,166
| | |
www.lovefraud.com ... [End]
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- Re: Heart is broken, help!!
R by SoulfulSurvivor
8 mon
966
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SunflowerGirl1121, I don’t know if you checked out the website that I posted, above, but there are numerous "Red Flags" that are screaming, flapping, and waving about your situation. ... ... If I read your post correctly, you indicate that you are a pathological liar. If I read wrong, then, please accept my sincere apology. If you are a pathological liar and you know that you are, then you have a choice to either sort it out, or not. There are 2 reasons for pathological lying: a> lying out of fear of rejection/abandonment, or b> lying to contro ...
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- Re: Heart is broken, help!!
by SunflowerGirl1121
8 mon
794
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I found this incredibly eye-opening. ... ... He is a scarily intelligent man who spends most of his time trying to figure out the truth behind the government and most of history. He makes me feel like he is the only person I can trust for valid information. He has cheated on me, insists that I have cheated on him (when we first started seeing each other he had specified that we should be sexually exclusive, but i didn’t realize he meant that i shouldn’t go on dates with other people. later this turned into a massive argument in which he claimed i was incapable of feeling real emotions and form ...
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- Keep reading....
by SoulfulSurvivor
8 mon
1,015
| | |
SunflowerGirl1121, before you react to anything about this man, just read the articles and posts at www.lovefraud.com. It could save your life, literally. ... ... These people engage in "gaslighting" and brainwashing - they take away what we have: empathy, goals, ethics, and our own sense of self. They do it for money, sex, control, and personal entertainment. They do not have empathy. They do not have a conscience They do not feel remorse or pity. The damages that I’ve experienced from over 12 years of marriage to a sociopath destroyed ...
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- Broken heart.........
by #158563
8 mon
866
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You are so young. Live your life and forget about him. Co-dependence is hard to get over. You have to realize that is part of that problem with constant thinking of him. ... ... How long have you been without him or another man now? ... I am not expert but, I have figured out what I want in life and it isnt a man who controls me but one who uplifts me and encourages me to do things on my own. ... ... I wish you a lot of luck and if you feel like anything I have said helps I know some more. ... ... I am not expert. Just recognize the reason you need the other person in your life. [End]
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- Re: Heart is broken, help!! (Edited by Moderator)
by richard02
6 mon
594
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No one in this world can claim not having done mistakes. We do make mistakes and even bring the guild with us long term. [End]
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- Re: Heart is broken, help!!
by aahnaagrwal
5 mon
460
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I suggest you to go away from him and also forget all the things behind which has happened to you. That is your past so leave things behind and move to a happy life. ... ... ... ... ... ... _______ ... love problem solution ... [End]
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- Re: Heart is broken, help!!
by kim786
3 mon
309
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I read your story and i think you take a bad decision to get out him from your life. Because according to me you are lucky to have the one who love you so much. But this i know you take a lots of time to forget him ,lots of memory are connected with him. Feel free or if you want to back him again in life then once try to talk him or if not then move towards that side where you make yourself engage in other thing which make you feel better a little. ... ... ... ... ... ... _______________ ... [url=”http://www.lovemarriagesolution.com/”]Lover vashikaran solution[/url] ... ... ... [End]
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- new slavery... pigs are tigers and farmers are felons
by mu-shen
9 mon
1,250
News
/ Geneticall
/ Nourishing
/ 4
/ 5
/ 6
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this is getting far too crazy.... ... ... from: http://www.wakingtimes.com/2012/08/23/the-new-slavery-pigs-are-tigers-and-farmers-are-felons/ ... ... The New Slavery: Pigs are Tigers and Farmers are Felons ... August 23, 2012 | ... ... Caleb Hart, Contributing Writer ... Waking Times ... ... In “A Critical Mass for Real Food,” Anim Steel began with “The old logic of the slave plantation is still the logic of our industrial food system, 500 years in the making.” ... ... The idea that a slave mentality is still woven into production of food showed up as well in an article referencing the KKK. It describes the similar ...
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- Co-dependency & rescuing others.
by Teacher of Light
11 mon
581
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This Awareness suggests that there is an important associated topic which this Awareness wishes to address at this time. It is what may ... be termed a kind of philosophical ”fad” that is going around, which began with concepts that were themselves relatively valid, which came out of the philosophical therapy concepts for dealing with drug and alcohol abuse, namely the concepts of co-dependency and the idea of rescuing others. ... ... This Awareness indicates that in the alcohol abuse programs and drug ... programs, and even in family counseling programs, these concepts of co- ... dependency and th ...
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- Re: Co-dependency & rescuing others.
by #23475
9 mon
431
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Good podt. These terms are now conffusing a lot of people. Where is the line between being codependent and helping? ... I guess noone knows that for sure now. [End]
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- "The Expression of Genuine Love”
by Teacher of Light
11 mon
1,586
Love
/ Abuse Phys
/ Balance
/ 4
/ 5
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Now, to express genuine love is a genuine appreciation and knowing of whatever you perceive. How you express that is to be becoming more intimately familiar with yourself and generating an acceptance of yourself and of your beliefs, allowing for your own expression of freedom in association with your truths and your preferences, and generating an acceptance of differences. In that, as you become accepting of difference, you also open the door to allow yourself to appreciate and to generate a knowing in association with difference, and that becomes the expression of genuine love: knowing an ...
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- Re: "The Expression of Genuine Love”
by #136970
11 mon
1,447
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... ... If you’re really a "Teacher of Light" then why did you cross post a ... message on "love" in the section on "sex?" There ... is no connection between the two. If in your enlightenment you truly ... recognize the chakra system that each and everyone on the Planet has you would ... know that love is a 4th chakra energy while sex is a 2nd chakra energy and the ... two have no connection. ... ... It sounds as if you’ve totally absorbed the programming of the religionists ... who try to teach that the two are same in spite of the fact that they aren’t. ... ... ... ...
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 Chakras and energy system EDIT
by #136970
11 mon
1,598
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... ... This is a supplement to your nice little note that you sent to me. ... Here’s a better, higher level picture of your chakras that all ’enlightened’ ... beings know about. As you can see the 2nd chakra has no connection with ... the 4th chakra. Those who think that it does have been programmed by ... Western religions. ... ... Everyone has at least seven major chakras. Even animals have ... chakras. It’s part of the spiritual energy system that goes with a ... physical body. ... ... Edited to put in the proper link for the site below. ... ... http://www.psychic-experiences.com/psychic-art ...
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- Re: Chakras and energy system EDIT
by Teacher of Light
11 mon
1,344
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ATTENTION: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I know who you are....your insecurity and fear of your own power is clear. ... ... It appears you feel very limited and intimidated by others who appear to you as....evolved or advanced. ... ... And this frightens you, because you doubt your own strength and ability, that is why you insult others and attempt to de-value them and try to show that you know more than the so called ’enlightened’ beings on our planet. ... ... It is like a child, who tries to convince themselves that they are a grown up and have already been through the trials and tribulations of life....while ...
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- [Message Subject Hidden by a Forum Moderator]
by ksushil970
6 mon
685
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[Message Body Hidden by a Forum Moderator] [End]
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- survey on codependency
by bb111
13 mon
1,005
Codependency
/ Addiction:
/ Abuse Phys
| | |
Hello, ... i am a psychology grad student doing research on substance addiction and relationships. i am looking for participants who are in (or have been in the past) a relationship with a substance abuser (alcohol and/or drugs) to take this survey which consists of several questionnaires (approx 20min). It is completely anonymous and you can be entered into a raffle to win 1 of 2 $50 visa gift cards. ... You must be 21years of age or older. ... Please click on the link below to start the survey ... thank you!!!! your time and participation is very appreciated! ... ... https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LJPCZT6
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- Re: survey on codependency
by SoulfulSurvivor
13 mon
944
| | |
Greetings, grad student! Is your research only limited to codependents of substance abusers, or are you including codependents of sociopaths and Cluster B’s? ... [End]
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- husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why he ...
by maxxie05
14 mon
1,173
Codependency
/ Addiction:
/ Beaten Wiv
/ 4
/ 5
/ 6
| | |
my husband for 10 years plus 2 boys together, i meet him in AA 10 years ago... i was there part of my program in college, i dont have drug,alcohol problem, my husband was sober when i met him, got marriage within 3 months together.. i notice he has some issue anger issue and being teretorial to me... i kinda like it first feeling wanted but then he started to become violent. to make a story short he was on and off of crack/coccaine for the intire marriege,violence come around but being young and naive thinking he is my husband for good and worst so i stick around.. conning, betrayal,steal ...
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- Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why...
by BlueRose
14 mon
1,150
| | |
You start here: ... ... http://www.nar-anon.org/Nar-Anon/Nar-Anon_Home.html ... ... Look for a Nar-anon meeting near you. ... ... Also, here: ... ... http://www.coda.org/ ... ... Look for a Codependents Anonymous meeting near you. ... ... These are good first steps. Meetings are free of charge. However, donations are welcome. So, when you go to a meeting for either of these 2 groups, if you are able, donate what you can. ... ... Good luck to you --- and please get going! [End]
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- He doesn't care because....
by SoulfulSurvivor
14 mon
1,133
| | |
Blue Rose offered very sound suggestions and websites. Get involved so you can heal from this. ... ... To address your concerns at the end of your post: ... ... * If he can change and pull his life together, that’s great, but you are not responsible for his happiness, success, sobriety, or anger issues ... ... * He does not feel the same way about you that you do for him, and he likely never will because, at this moment, he is incapable of caring for anything other than feeding his addictions - you and your children are not only secondary, but you’re all in the way of what he wants to d ...
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- Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why...
by ruby claire
11 mon
1,009
| | |
Are you feelings sad because you don’t want to loose your husband or you don’t want to be alone ? ... ... I mean common, i agree that you love him but it does not mean that you should bare so much of pain from him. After all you are also a human being and you to deserve to live a happy life .. if you continue same then just think of the kids and your future... [End]
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- Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why...
by jurplesman
9 mon
1,012
| | |
Your attachment to your brutal husband may be due to your low self-esteem and lack of self-regard that prevents you from taking control over your life. This low self-regard may stem from a similar metabolic disorder that gives rise to your husband’s behaviour and your own submissiveness. To see what you and your husband may have in common, read: ... ... ... ... ... Treatment of a Low Self Esteem ... ... Drug Addiction is a Nutritional Disorder ... [End]
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- Re: husband of 10years 2 kids is a crack addict could nt understand why...
by ATeasweet
5 mon
366
| | |
sound familar except I have daughter sounds familar with mom too except she had sons and I sum it up to they loved themselves more there crack beer sex c**k suckef ect ect than they love there family and children like Rick james put it best cocaine is a powerful drug. just pray and hope for the best for yourself from now on. No need for toxic zombies in your life they will eat you brain.Stay strong also [End]
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- feeling all alone
by crag
17 mon
1,046
NPD: Narcissistic Su
/ Abuse Phys
/ Codependen
| | |
Hmm not sure if anyone is out there to read this post.........but it is another night where I feel tired and alone even though I have lived with a NPD partner for 6years. I have so much to share with readers.....I feel trapped and not sure how to escape especially when my NPD controls all the money....but not only does he control all the money he has also borrowed $25,000 from my daughter and 10,000 from my son and has taken 82,000 of my parents estate promising me that my name would be on the title of the home we shared.......i know what your thinking......get it back from him! the only ...
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- Re: feeling all alone
by BlueRose
17 mon
981
| | |
He may be a lawyer and 15 years younger than you but that doesn’t mean you’re ”screwed”. You just need to find the best lawyer and hire him/her. ... ... In the meantime, document everything that he has said and done. Have your kids do the same. Stop feeling defeated (that’s what he wants you to feel) and get going! ... ... Best of luck to you. [End]
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- Re: feeling all alone
by kandr
7 mon
402
| | |
i know what you mean....how are you doing now? i just want to know someone can get out of one of these....wanted to talk to someone.... ... [End]
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- Re: feeling all alone
by SoulfulSurvivor
7 mon
483
| | |
I’m sorry that you’ve had these experiences. Blue Rose is spot-on. Document, document, document. And, contact your State Bar Association and ask for a referral to several "Divorce Specialists," not just divorce attorneys. If you live in a state that maintains "no fault" divorce, you may want to consider criminal charges if you have a means to support yourself. ... ... A website that specifically addresses surviving sociopathic entanglements may offer you invaluable information and hope: www.lovefraud.com ... ... Keep in mind that you ...
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- Shattered
by SoulfulSurvivor
19 mon
2,222
Abuse Physical/Emoti
/ Codependen
/ Confession
/ 4
/ 5
| | |
For years, I’ve been posting about what I consider to be "core values" in a healthy relationship: mutual respect, honesty, truthfulness, etc., ad nauseum. This past Monday, I had my whole perception of my own relationship shattered and I am unable to process what I’ve experienced. ... ... While ransacking my home for items that I wanted/needed to sell, I came across a curious gym bag that was sitting in the closet that I share with my spouse. I opened it up and my world imploded. In the bag were 8 DVD’s of hard-core BDSM videos, several books of BDSM imag ...
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- Re: Shattered
by BlueRose
19 mon
1,775
| | |
SoulfulSurvivor---I am so very sorry that you have been put through this. You certainly did nothing to warrant this happening to you. ... ... What you are feeling right now is normal. I believe that giving someone our trust is one of the greatest gifts that we can give --- especially if the one given our trust is a loved one. We’re laying ourselves bare by giving our trust because it comes with our hearts and our souls. In turn, we expect them to not only give us their trust but also to never do anything to betray the trust that was given to them. ... ... When we give trust to friends or co-work ...
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- Coming to terms
by SoulfulSurvivor
19 mon
1,698
| | |
Blue Rose, I thank you very, very much for your kind words of support and encouragement. ... ... At it stands, I’m only just beginning to come to terms with what the discovery means with regard to the past 13 years of my life with this man. He’s been living a lie, and I put my trust and faith in a person that never existed. Was everything a sham, then? ... ... I am still in shock,, but as time passes, I’m beginning to feel a sense of moral outrage that’s replacing this incredible fury, bit-by-bit. You’re right - I didn’t do anything to deserve this deception, except to ...
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- Nuts...
by fledgling
18 mon
1,585
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...Nuts, nuts, nuts! ... ... ... Of all people, YOU did not need this in your life! ... ... You have already picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and begun all over again. ... ... Rats! What a bummer. ... ... How dare the fates deliver such a blow?! ... ... ... But, what the heck? YOU are exactly the same. You’re the same sweetheart who has tried for years to support and help those who are getting themselves into far better circumstances than ever before. ... ... ... You’ve written a book, you know. Read what you said; remember how you felt when you said those things...what were your intentions? ... ... Those are not chan ...
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- Re: Nuts...
by BlueRose
18 mon
1,502
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Fledgling --- What a lovely post! [End]
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- Thanks, BlueRose
by fledgling
18 mon
1,435
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Sometimes events surprise the heck out of us. ... ... I mean, whoever guessed that I would wobble from side to side when I walk. ...That I’d tire so easily. ... ... My legs were always my strongest parts. ... ... But, do I feel like giving up? Not on your tintype! ... ... I get outside and do a small job of outdoor work every day. ... ... I ain’t down yet. ... ... That’s what I think keeps me alive. ... ... Dh was widowed twice, before I came along. No way he gets that again. ... ... Soon I’ll be racing around doing things as I used to. ... ... Soulful, too. ... ... This is just a little hiccup in her life. She will conquer all. ... ... You ...
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- Besides...
by fledgling
18 mon
1,465
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...Some months ago I was almost ovewhelmed with the horror of man’s mistakes throughout history...atrocities. ... ... I mean, who can justify the inquizition? ... ... Yet, there it is. ... ... I wasn’t even around to stop it. ... ... :) ... ... And then I remembered that I believe there IS no such thing as time. ... ... ...That yesterday, today, and tomorrow are all one, and interchangeable. ... ... In other words, it doesn’t matter who does what, or when, as long as someone thinks better of it and creates what is best...if only in thought and imagination. ... ... I realize that I have no control over what happened centuries ago ...
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- Re: Besides...
by SoulfulSurvivor
14 mon
1,231
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Blue Rose and Fledgling, I want to thank you both for your words of support and encouragement. I am going to emerge from this, and all of the fears and shame are being faced down with as much courage as I can muster. ... ... The blessing in all of this is that I had the resolve to realize that the marriage was a sham from the beginning and that no amount of effort would heal a relationship that was based upon deception, from the word "Go." I knew it was over when I found that nasty bag, and after he left I was on a mission to uncover the layers of his betrayals. He w ...
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- Re: Shattered
by PinkCocaine
12 mon
1,171
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I Honestly wouldn’t know what to do if I experienced something like this. I would probably just feel sick, because something like this is sick. Not the whole ”BDSM” part, but him engaging in something like this without telling you about it.. However you can’t blame or try to put down someone for something they enjoy.. & Frankly, he’ll probably never quite enjoying or acting in these activities.. It’s what he likes and what he’ll probably enjoy for the rest of his life. [End]
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- Discoveries
by SoulfulSurvivor
11 mon
934
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To clarify this, he married me strictly for money, as I discovered after he left. My attorney has said this in exactly those words. My counseling therapist has said this in exactly those words, and so has just about everyone else that knows my situation. That he compartmentalized activities that I find disturbing was a shock, to be sure. And, yes - I accept that consenting adults may engage in whatever sexua| interests they want to, and they do, including expensive whirlwind "sex tours" in Southeast Asia that includes taking the virginity of 8-year-ol ...
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- Re: Discoveries
by Mira528
11 mon
1,068
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I just happened onto your post, SS. You are clearly a caring, strong, and insightful person. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through this. Your honesty in sharing your situation and the courage you display in dealing with it are inspiring. ... ... What impresses me so much is the way you’re facing the cold, hard truth instead of playing ostrich and sticking your head in the sand. Yet you’re not letting bitterness take over your life. ... ... I think that we can easily project our hopes and dreams and ideals onto another person and some of us are easily fooled by manipulators who use us for ...
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- Re: Discoveries
by SoulfulSurvivor
11 mon
1,049
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Mira, thank you for your vote of confidence - I’m not all that confident, right now, but it’ll come back in due time. ... ... As for finding a partner, that is NOT going to happen, ever. I won’t allow it, I won’t imagine it, I won’t entertain the notion on any level. The carnages that the exspath inflicted are myriad, and I won’t ever, ever, ever seek or allow another "partner," again. I have chosen two very, very bad people in a row. I need to fix what ails me, and be happy without a partner. And, no....I do not miss Mr. Bondage, whatsoever. H ...
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- Re: Shattered
by mamahuhu
5 mon
327
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This just breaks my heart. ... ... Here you are helping so many people. You do not deserve this. ... ... You are strong though. I wish I could help you get through this like you’ve helped so many others. ... ... What is wrong with these people? ... ... I hope you are alright SS. [End]
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- Letting go destructive communications
by #108495
19 mon
1,001
Codependency
/ Relationsh
| | |
Is it fair to say I just no longer want to be a part of destructive communication, and just move on? ... ... I had a weird interaction with a friend lately who I’ve known for about 6 years. Lately, I see her maybe every other month at most. Not really close but have shared a lot in the past. ... ... So weeks ago, we had a lunch during a work day. We were just blabbing about stuff in our lives during lunch, nothing of great substance, and about 10 mins before she had to leave I realized she had had something big on her mind which she had wanted to talk about but never mentioned until the ...
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- Re: Letting go destructive communications
by BlueRose
19 mon
749
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Is it fair to say I just no longer want to be a part of destructive communication, and just move on? ... ---------------- ... Yes, it is fair. Why put yourself through all that? ... ... ---------------- ... ... I think your analysis of the situation ” I suppose in hindsight she was looking for “oh my dear let me hug and make you feel better” type of thing, but I just felt stung by her accusations.” is spot on. ... ... Yet without knowing just what it was that she wanted to discuss, it seems her reaction was very inappropriate --- even if the topic was something very dire. ... ... Also, I’m guessing that the topic ...
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- Re: Letting go destructive communications
by #108495
19 mon
709
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Thanks for your kind and thoughtful response. I get a bit freaked out around people who intensely ”accuse first, ask questions later”, and once upon a time had many family members with that style. I ended up distancing myself because it was so painful and awful being around them. ... ... So, yes, these are good points for a calm response on my part. Yes, I could have been a bit more caring on the day... She has a huge issue with a family member (which she isn’t dealing with), and since that issue came up again, she has been kind of crazy. I don’t want to psychologize her stuff but s ...
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- Re: Letting go destructive communications
by BlueRose
19 mon
806
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You’re welcome. ... ... -------------------------------- ... ... I get a bit freaked out around people who intensely ”accuse first, ask questions later”, and once upon a time had many family members with that style. ----- Oh, yes! I can relate to that --- my mother was that way. ... ... Yes, you could try to follow through with a forgiving attitude. However, may I suggest another option? ... ... From what you wrote, she has a pattern of responding the same way in similar situations. You point out---and rightfully so---that you no longer want to get sucked into her dramas, especially when you explained tha ...
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- Re: Letting go destructive communications
by randigfine
19 mon
730
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It’s really tough to be blindsided by a friend like that. I wonder if she was ever as good a friend to you as you were to her. Have you always been the one that has to smooth things over? She sounds like she has an abusive streak that gets worse when she doesn’t get her way. If you feel like you should do something, than email her and keep it simple. You may need to take a break from her - she’s obviously going through something that has nothing to do with you...and you don’t need to be her doormat. [End]
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- Using Common Sense
by SoulfulSurvivor
20 mon
869
NPD: Narcissism Surv
/ Abuse Phys
/ Codependen
/ 4
/ 5
| | |
How can we possibly know that someone might be a malignant narcissist or a sociopath? There’s no outward, physical symptoms, so what are the some of the common traits of sociopathy? From the website, www.lovefraud.com, the list below is a good start: ... ... • Glib and superficial ... • Egocentric and grandiose ... • Lack of remorse or guilt ... • Lack of empathy ... • Deceitful and manipulative ... • Shallow emotions ... ... What the hell does "glib" mean? When someone makes a "glib" comment, it goes something like th ...
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- Love addiction verses true love
by rainbowlights
21 mon
1,400
Codependency
/ Relationsh
/ Love
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How do you know your love for each other isn’t simply more than soulmate love where you are meant to be together. There are lots of healthy relationships where two people are unable to be apart from each other - this doesn’t have to be deemed as love addiction. How do you know you aren’t destroying something that isn’t just meant to be. Unless of course when you are together you destroy each other. So can you define the difference between true love and love addiction. ... ... Thanks [End]
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- Re: Love addiction verses true love
by SoulfulSurvivor
21 mon
1,239
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My feeling is that "true love" is based upon trust, honesty, and mutual respect, rather than rabid, frantic sexua| desire and an unhealthy "need" to be with someone every minute of the day and night. ... ... Couples who experience a healthy relationship spend time with one another because they want to, not because they feel compelled to. When we are comfortable in a trusting, healthy relationship, we have our own separate lives apart from our partners who have their separate lives, as well. My good friends aren’t necessarily my partner’s good friends, and v ...
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- Re: Love addiction verses true love
by randigfine
20 mon
1,256
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The key word is healthy. Is the relationship balanced? If one person is always doing the sacrifices and trying to hold the other person’s life together, that is unhealthy. Is the relationship painful? A healthy relationship should feel good. Love is not supposed to hurt. If someone is always feeling hurt and frustrated, for whatever reason, the relationship is not healthy. A healthy relationship should not be drama filled. Are you clinging to hope? Are you fantasizing about what you wish the person or the relationship could be if...? Are you both leading productive lives or are you u ...
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- in some respects...they are the same.
by John McCain 2008
20 mon
1,268
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I know many a relationship that doubles as love, but you could also see ”soulmate love”, as you call it. I suggest not to read too much into the bond between two hot lovers and let it flow. Where it takes you, that’s what it is. I could describe all sorts of flowery terms that make a damn good love song or poem, maybe even a movie script...but dissecting what you feel vs. what others define as love isn’t an arguement worth fighting. [End]
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- Recovering co-dependent refuses to get in touch
by rainbowlights
21 mon
1,010
Codependency
/ Relationsh
/ Love
| | |
I met an old friend a few months back - instant chemistry and attraction and one thing led to another and before we knew it we had started a relationship. He told me early on that he was a recovering co-dependent and that he had just come out of rehab. He said that he may have to let me go if things got complicated whilst he was recovering. I agreed to give it a go and all was going very well infact I thought amazing but 3 months in he did a runner with no warning and now he refuses to answer my calls or texts so I have no clarity or means of closure if need be. I have left him too it an ...
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- Re: Recovering co-dependent refuses to get in touch
by BlueRose
21 mon
945
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I don’t know what the whole recovery program involves for codependents but I do know this---His behavior towards you is very rude and inconsiderate. Since he told you that he would have to bail if things got complicated, then at the very least, he owed you an explanation. ... ... That said, I suspect that part of his problem was that he got involved in this relationship much too soon. The tip off was his telling you that he was ”recovering”. However, once he realized this, he should have explained it to you. ... ... At this point, I would say drop all contact with him. If, before doing so, you ...
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- Re: Recovering co-dependent refuses to get in touch
by SoulfulSurvivor
21 mon
1,064
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I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced this. ... ... He claimed to be recovering from co-dependency and that may be true. But, I would look a little deeper and pay more attention to my personal boundaries. It sounds to me as if you were mirrored, used, and discarded from what you’ve described. That he won’t even return a message or text is not only rude, but it’s a screaming, flapping, waving RED FLAG - DANGER! WARNING!!!! ... ... I don’t intend to hurt your feelings, but why on earth would you even entertain the notion of spending another second with this guy afte ...
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- Re: Recovering co-dependent refuses to get in touch
by randigfine
20 mon
1,049
| | |
Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear. He told you what the risk was and you made the choice to give it a go. Now you have to accept that you took a gamble and lost. His leaving was not personal. At this point in his recovery, everyone and everything is a threat. It takes a lot of work to change a pattern of addiction. Your relationship was wonderful because you will still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. It always feels great in the beginning. You need to move on. This person is not stable enough to build a future with. All the love and support in the world can’t c ...
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"The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering the attitudes of their minds."
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