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Marriage And Partnership Support Forum

Love, Commitment, Respect, Support, Happiness, Trust, Infidelity, Sex, Jealousy, Problems, Solutions, Insecurity, Issues, Addictions, Conflicts, Abuse, Parenting, Kids

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Dreaming of cheating

by #168525 3 days 56 Relationship / Marriage / Love / 4

Can anyone help me? ... ... My husband Josh was a virgin when we met, and has never been with anyone but me sexually. I wasn’t much more experienced, but I had had sex with one other guy before I met Josh. The other guy, Michael, is still a friend of mine. We are connected on Facebook and chat occasionally, though not often. We don’t live nearby anymore so we don’t see each other. ... ... Anyway, I haven’t thought about Michael much since I met Josh, but the other day Michael started an IM session with me, and I participated. It wasn’t flirty in any way; just two friends chatting. Last night, ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Dreaming of cheating by sd2345 3 days 40

FB can be dangerous for that very reason. Unfortunately, I know too many first hand stories of affairs that started just like your innocent chatting..... ... ... You didn’t cheat, so no need to feel guilty. ... ... If it was 1997 and he had called you to chat, would that be ok? Why then do people think it’s ok to chat with someone on FB that they normally would not have contact with because it is technically improper? It’s fun to talk with old friends on FB, but they probably wouldn’t like it if I was chatting with their husbands too. [End]

Re: Dreaming of cheating by BlueRose 71 h 43

Back when Jimmy Carter was running for president, he said in an interview that he never cheated on his wife but he did ”lust in his heart”. In other words, he was saying that he had fantasies but never went further than that. ... ... It’s normal to indulge in fantasies, even after you are married. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you leave it at that. ... ... If you think there is a danger that you would cross the line the next time you and Michael IM each other, then don’t allow yourself to converse with him again. Too many people start out innocently messaging but end up crossing th ... [retrieve this message]

Caution by SoulfulSurvivor 16 h 331

I agree with sd234 and Blue Rose that you haven’t actually DONE anything ”wrong.” Sometimes, we decompress and process things in our minds while we sleep and it isn’t ”bad” or unusual to have sex-related dreams. ... ... But, it may be an option to consider why you’re still friendly with someone that you had a very intimate relationship with. I’m not saying that some people can’t have a healthy friendship with someone that they were once intimate with, but it’s not too frequent that it adds up to a healthy situation. ... ... If it were me, I probably would back off from Michael in a big way. F ... [retrieve this message]

Real Marriage by Bugbuster 73 days 89

These videos are a must watch. ... Every marriage could benefit: ... ... http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage [End]

Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why can't ...

by lowbrainpower 3 mon 481 Brain Fog / Neurology / Marriage

I have severe, life-crippling brain fog that will not go away. I have gone from a very highly-functioning, compassionate, loving, motivated young adult to a pathetic loser who can barely string two words together. ... ... I know what triggers my brain fog: eating. When fasting for 24 hours or more, or taking diuretics and laxatives to rid my body of all food contents, all of my symptoms disappear. ... ... I have been tested for food allergies/sensitivities and I am sensitive to a few foods (wheat, gluten, peanuts, etc.) but after eliminating all of these foods I still have the same problems. It s ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why ca... by #62058 3 mon 438

Hi, ... ... Since you know how you feel when you eat your regular diet and you know how you feel when you fast, you’re in good shape. What I mean is you could do some sort of very limited diet that eliminates your symptoms, i.e., a very low reactive diet. Then when you’re stable, start testing new foods. You could check out Lyn-Genet’s Plan. ... ... Another possibility is to do Protocol 1 for MMS and see if you can clean yourself out enough to eliminate the allergies. ... ... Wishing you the best. [End]

Re: Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why ca... by peggyaus 3 mon 420

If it helps, I’ve come back from fog and haze over my eyes that I couldn’t even see properly, and brain fog that I didn’t even know what bank accounts I held... ... ... I suspect its candida related which is often parasite related so I’m guessing you might be dealing with both... but candida definitely creates brain fog and haziness - even a film over the eyes if left long enough untreated. ... ... Do not commit suicide. Easier said than done I know... but these health issues are a challenge and can be beaten. I have read many people who have been even able to deal with worms up their necks for go ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why ca... by #168422 3 mon 389

looks like coconut oil is the latest miracle product. I saw this on TV, then researched it. ... Id read somewhere a women had good results with brain fog. Also works on alzhiemers, parkinsons, ALS, dementia. ... You can buy this at walmart $10.00 12 oz. 1 tablespoon a day. ... Google some research. Never say die! ... ... I take it for general health, feel great.It tastes like lard with coconut flavor. Its high in fat, but its good fat. I actually lost 5 lbs last week. [End]

Re: Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why ca... by fred6137 3 mon 416

Besides coconut oil, also try ionic colloidal gold, this works on brain glands,calms neural transmitters,this works if your suicidal. This should be in health food stores,if not its on the web. key word here is IONIC. ... [End]

Re: Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why ca... by lowbrainpower 3 mon 481

Thank you everyone so far for your help. I don’t remember what bank accounts I hold either, and recently had my credit card declined for not paying my bills. ... ... I’m going to order some coconut oil, olive leaf extract, and parasite cleanse supplements as soon as my credit card comes back online (hopefully tomorrow). ... ... I had a glimpse of clarity this morning. I even felt so good that I masturbated! First time in 3 months. Afterwards clarity sank and for the past 6 hours I can’t remember what I have been doing. ... ... Has anyone else had this issue: brain fog increases after masturbation? ... ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why ca... by honda 3 mon 372

you could try some musci therapy for brain. Research on the kind of musci you need. here’s something to start with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp4uerpJVuI ... [End]
- Re: Near suicide - still no answers - I know what triggers it but why ca... by fred6137 67 days 225
  
  Colloidal gold, calms the neural transmitters, take a tablespoon a day..it will work. [End]

deleted

by #158706 7 mon 230

deleted [End]

Re: attraction to my wife by SoulfulSurvivor 7 mon 290

With all due respect, I would suggest that you consider what types of ramifications your actions are going to have on your wife’s trust issues and self-esteem when this affair is finally exposed. Oh, and believe me when I type the truth that your indescretions will eventually be exposed, whether you’re still involved, or not. ... ... Before you engaged in your extramarital activities, did you ever speak to your wife about engaging in couples’ counseling? Did you ever approach your wife about her emotional unavailbility and how it affected you before you had your fling?&nb ... [retrieve this message]

wow.... by SoulfulSurvivor 7 mon 296

I must say that I’m astonished that the original post was deleted. The only reason that I can imagine is that the OP’s wife could identify his CZ ID, or that he realized how his post must have appeared. ... ... Whatever....I stand by my response. ... [End]

Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married

by Dquixote1217 10 mon 1,099 Jokes for Adults / Marriage / Relationsh

For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to get married, here’s a quick piece of Biblical advice: ... ... Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. ... ... While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz , Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz, or Marriedaz, & especially his cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz!" ... ... ~Andrew Lauman ... [End]

Re: Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married by sharlotflin 6 mon 529

Following what the bible says is hard and very challenging. You can overcome and do it. [End]

Re: Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married (!) by illysmanx 6 mon 555

I’m making a great big YES on this one! God answered my prayers after rather a long wait, and when He did, I had to be the dump-er instead of the dump-ee! Sometimes when God answers prayer, he does it with a two-by-four to the back of the head and not a gift basket. I laughed, I cried, I growled at myself for allowing someone to ask me to date them. ... ... A two-by four in the sense of ’Duh, kid, here you go, I’ve been working on this case since even before you asked me!’ Turned out to be a guy I knew since high school. Perfect match. ... ... Being equally yoked is as much a joy as being unequall ... [retrieve this message]

lmao!!!!! by SoulfulSurvivor 6 mon 523

Thanks for posting this hilarious observation! LMAO!!! Considering that I’ll never be accepting applications for the rest of my life, I’m not searching for ANY "oaz!" LMAOLMAO!!!! ... ... Thanks for the laugh - Oh, my.....LOLOL ... [End]

Re: Biblical advice for single ladies about getting married by kushy 71 days 223

Sorry I am unable to understand.Can any one please explain me what the message is? ... ... ... Thank you in advance. [End]
Is the bible a joke to some? EOM by #13594 71 days 217

He doesn't want to make love to me anymore

by hockeymom 12 mon 2,021 Marriage / Divorce / Relationsh / 4

My husband used to want it two times a day if not more. Over the last three months we have made love three times. I’m the one who initiated two of those times. I have asked what is going on and tried to figure it out and I just don’t get it. I have not gained any weight I dress in sexy clothing. I have asked if there is another woman and he has told me no. He says he loves me and that there is nothing wrong with me, but I feel like I’m not doing it for him anymore. We have been married for almost 15 years. I don’t know what to think or do, what is my next step? [End]

Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by princeofsin 12 mon 1,899

Sounds like you two need to sit down and talk. It could be monotony that could be issue here and you might need to change something up regarding to sex. Also it can be due to physical attraction between you and him. Regardless of what it is DO NOT blame yourself for anything. This is not your fault in anyway. As a woman you have needs and from what you have described he is not meeting them so let him know that. [End]

Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by AngelofEventide 12 mon 1,762

Has he had his testosterone levels checked? Lack of sexua| desire is very common with this and low T is very common for men as they age. [End]

Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by #89866 12 mon 1,807

Don’t take it personally, that’s what happens in nature as males and females age, and as the relationship ages. Contrary to popular belief (in the US especially) love and sex are totally different things - they can be related but still they are totally different experiences. As a matter of fact the term ”make love” is very misleading and just sets people up for problems and disappointment - it says ”he doesn’t LOVE me unless we bump our private parts together”. Call it what it is - ”having sex” - so you don’t set yourself up to blowing it out of proportion if in fact his desire to bump ... [retrieve this message]

Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by M2R2 12 mon 1,723

There is discussion group called I Live In a Sexless Marriage with over 20K members and reading those stories will help you a lot [End]

Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by Raynbo 10 mon 1,678

This is an older post, so I may be too late. All the answers you got were good ones....but I picked up on how you said this has been going on ”over the last three months”. That is very sudden. I think your husband should not only have his testerone levels checked, but he should have a full physical...and he should tell the doctor about his sudden lack of interest in sex. ... ... [End]

Re: He doesn't want to make love to me anymore by #157556 9 mon 1,632

Is your husband a ”gamer” (video games)? does he spend a lot of time on his computer. He might be getting his fill thru porn. Also Gaming takes up those precious few hours at night. Try making love in the morning. [End]

are you still giving him head? by John McCain 2008 6 mon 905

I’ll be blunt, a lot of women get lazy when it comes to making a guy cum. Guys like their cocks sucked, just like women like their clits licked to orgasm. It takes work, it takes a drive to succeed, it takes committment. I guarantee the world would be a better place if women, well into their marriage, would concentrate more on orgasmic sex than housework or other drab things of marriage. Guys want sex and they want it hot. Wives want the same thing, too, but after all the other things have been done. Sex for women in 15 year marriages is typically not hot. He’s probably bored with t ... [retrieve this message]

alternative sleep gadget . so cool....love ittttt by #150159 15 mon 889 Sleep Apnea / Sleep Diso / Marriage

Hi people ... ... I found this cool gadget online and my wife is using it , it works great so i am going to get one for myslef ... ... its called the stop snore . And its a wrsit band watch which send electric pulse everytime you start snoring loud ... ... the coolest thing is , the fact it does not wake you up only stop the snore ... [End]

Uncontested divorces only by serviceprovider73 17 mon 571 Divorce / Success St / Marriage / 4 / 5

An Answer!!!

by #62845 22 mon 1,606 Sex / Abuse Phys / Marriage / 4

Well folks, I finally got to the bottom of it. If you read my posts, you’ll see years of me crying about not getting sex with my husband, getting over my reaction to not getting sex, the wierd thing that we would have vacation sex but not sex at home, about how everything is good in our relationship and I take care of my looks, etc. etc. etc. ... ... Well, things were coming to a breaking point in that arena and he finally came clean. Porn! Okay, maybe it shouldn’t be such a surprise, but it kind of is. I knew he watched porn, sure, it didn’t bug me. I never imagined that a man would PREFER po ... [retrieve this message]

Re: An Answer!!! by #28223 22 mon 1,548

Start by taking a look at this thread to see if you find any answers: ... http://www.curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=883781#i [End]

Re: An Answer!!! by #28223 22 mon 1,586

I find it odd that you haven’t come back to this thread---hope you are well. I do have some things that I would like to further add. ... ... In your last posting you said that you had accepted that you weren’t going to get much sex from him and that you would rather stay married to him than have great sex with an a$$hole (I’m paraphrasing). Yet, apparently, you didn’t mean what you wrote. This lack of sex problem has been like an open wound that you keep picking at rather than letting it heal. I thought that from your last post that you would let it scab up and finally heal. The fact that ... [retrieve this message]

Re: An Answer!!! by #62845 22 mon 1,272

I’ve come back to the thread, just waiting to hear something that will be helpful to my situation. Nothing personal and I appreciate your input, but every individual situation is unique and different. I didn’t find much in that link but I did read through it. ... ... I wrote a response to this but it sounded snappish so I erased it. The short is that your conclusions don’t really gel with what’s happening, although I appreciate your intention to help. ... ... The short update on the marriage is that we made a breakthrough with his admission. I was able to tell him how this has impacted me over the ... [retrieve this message]

Re: An Answer!!! by #28223 22 mon 1,311

You’re right---every situation is unique and different. I (and others who respond) can only go on what you’ve written in the past. Thus, sometimes advice won’t gel with what is happening. ... ... Of course, I do wish you luck with whatever it is you decide to do. [End]

Re: An Answer!!! by #62845 22 mon 1,303

Thank you. [End]

see i told ya so. by John McCain 2008 22 mon 1,400

Why ask why? We went over this months ago, didn’t we? 2+2=4. We all get old and eventually die. Charlie Sheen will eventually go nuts again on tv. Some things in life are just the way they are. Accept bad sex or no sex was your answer then, why scratch your head (or his) now? ... ... I thought you settled for a life of vibrators and scented oils? Your guy likes the porn because it’s easy, it’s always there, it takes little effort. Don’t overanalyze why he wants the vixen on the screen over you. Nothing personal...he’s just a lazy lay who wants his satisfaction at his beckon call, on h ... [retrieve this message]

Re: see i told ya so. by #62845 21 mon 1,312

Yep, ”settling” for a life of vibrators works just fine unless it doesn’t. In that attempt I came to understand 2 things: first, that as I suspected, I’m not much into vibrators. Seriously, I’m open minded but they do nothing for me. In fact, I turned it off b/c the vibration annoyed me. ... ... Second, and most importantly, after deciding to supress my sexua| side, it didn’t submit and the issue came to a head as more than just a physical issue but one connected to some powerful emotional needs. So even though I would make the choice to drop sex for him if I could, I literally can’t. I now und ... [retrieve this message]

Re: see i told ya so. by #28223 21 mon 1,211

So...are you considering marriage counseling now? It seems to me that you should try all avenues before giving up on the marriage. [End]

Re: An Answer!!! by #68716 21 mon 1,242

Just try to get at the root of why he prefers porn, over what you provide. [End]

For those of you who like closure

by #62845 24 mon 1,326 Sex / Marriage / Relationsh

in the stories you hear... ... ... ...after I got my head into a place where I was calm and not emotional over my ”sex” problem, I confronted my husband to talk about what’s been going on in his mind. It helped that we’d been very connected the last few weeks and he’s been very affectionate and loving. I thought we could keep a clear head to discuss it. ... ... So I ask what he thinks about our sex life. He says he thinks we should have more. (more sex) I ask him what holds him back? He doesn’t know. I ask about what thoughts he’s had about it? He finds it hard to come up with something but says tha ... [retrieve this message]

well, you've made an adult decision about an adult problem. by John McCain 2008 24 mon 1,216

You thought it through, weighed the pros and cons...and made a solid decision in favor of keeping the sexless marriage. Nobody can say you haven’t vented it out loud! That’s for sure. I also agree with the premise that he didn’t want sex before, now with the ”bad back” he still doesn’t want it, and you correctly can count on limited sex for the entire duration of this marriage. But in return you get a ”good guy” whom you love and share many pleasant times with. I get that. I can’t find too much fault with you masturbating frequently at the sight of Team 6 hotties in short shorts whil ... [retrieve this message]

Re: well, you've made an adult decision about an adult problem. by #62845 24 mon 1,260

You make me laugh. :) It is a sacrifice, but it’s worth it. Now I feel like a wanna be lecherous wife, especially now with such a cute cable guy working outside in my yard, lol. But I will be faithful. I love him too much to hurt him (my husband, not the cable guy). And perhaps I’ll get an occasional lustful week/weekend while on vacation. It’s happened before. Sex with him was better than with anybody else so that will be a bonus to a good married life. ... ... But yeah, deciding and setting my expectations will help. I mourn the demise of my previously robust sexuality (especially since I st ... [retrieve this message]

Re: well, you've made an adult decision about an adult problem. by #68716 24 mon 1,128

when the body has cravings, its for good reason. I never liked going against my body’s cravings, my understanding is that doing so is a basis for neuroses and I’ve always had a desire to remain healthy and ... somewhat sane. Most people fk up on this topic, but with careful thought and planning, an answer will appear. [End]

Re: For those of you who like closure by sharlotflin 6 mon 236

Thanks for the post. Proper closure is a good idea for you both not to be intimidated when you meet again. [End]

blow job question

by #139589 25 mon 3,747 Sex / Marriage / Relationsh

ok so ive been with my hubby for 6 and a half years now we have 2 kids ages 2 and 3. i understand that sex is going to slow down after kids but that wasnt the case with us until about a year ago. all he wants now is blow jobs. ok i get the fact that i gained weight after having my kids. ive lost 50 lbs and still have about 40 more to go. i never had a problem giving him blow jobs. but when it became an issue where he would go to sleep if i didnt give him a blow job and the next day he wouldnt go to work and make my whole day miserable until i cave in and gave him a bj. after i would give h ... [retrieve this message]

Simple solution by #13162 25 mon 3,347

next time he wants a blow job, you say: ... Yes my dear, but this time you have to earn it, you will get a blow job after you make me come first. ... You owe me 100 orgasms, it is time for payback. ... ... ... ... ... ... [End]

Re: blow job question by #77203 25 mon 3,429

My wife also gained tons of weight after having children. She was as big as a whale. Yes, I admit that I was sad when I noticed that she was not loosing that weight afterwards. Where was that sexy chick? Gone. But we still had sex. I did not have to focus on what she did not have. I know what she can look like, and I love that, not her temporary situation. Later, probably because I was never bothered by her weight, she decided to watch her foods and slowly lost all of that ”baby fat”. Now she looks great. ... ... Possibly the best way for you to deal with this is to do family therapy. I recomme ... [retrieve this message]

Re: blow job question by Roooth 25 mon 3,381

I agree with much in the previous post. Talking to your husband and therapy may both be a good idea to see how committed he is to the relationship. He’s being an extremely selfish lover... if you can still call him lover under the circumstances. In my experience, sex reflects the relationship and I can’t help but wonder if he is selfish in other aspects of your relationship. ... ... There are several things of note here: more worrisome than just the sex is his lack of caring when you’ve brought up the issue. It may be that he cares and is uncomfortable confronting the situation or that he does ... [retrieve this message]

the woes of being blow job betty. by John McCain 2008 24 mon 3,754

Here’s the deal...you’ve got a very, very, very selfish guy there. You chose him! This is what you got. I’m a guy and I know thousands of guys and thousands of women, I’m here to tell you straight up...if a normal guy gets one of the two, blow job or straight vaginal sex...blow job wins every time. That’s just a fact of penile pleasure principles. He’s got you trained to suck on command and you oblige. Haven’t you had enough of going down on your knees daily for this selfish bastard? Yeah, I think so. Aren’t those knees aching about now? You talk to him about normal relations and ... [retrieve this message]

he won't eat your pussy...that's a problem. by John McCain 2008 6 mon 838

Hey, I get that...guys who want to have their erections sucked off to climax but won’t lick your clit...that’s a problem. The best marriages have both giving head, then sex, then falling asleep together with smiles on both faces. That’s what it is all about. When you are giving head, then he sleeps, you’re left with fingering your own clit. You masturbate, which I don’t have a problem with, but if he won’t finish you off or even start...you’ve got to go to counseling. It’s that serious. [End]

marriage agencies by Marydimassi 25 mon 1,028 Marriage / Good Marri

not advertising site... this is marriage agencies directory. Search your local listing. If this help you, leave me a smile !!! ... marriage agencies ... marriage agency ... [End]
- Re: marriage agencies by stanleytapp 25 mon 976
  
  Thank you so much for sharing this. This really helps me as I am 24 years old and in search for a someone. [End]
  - Re: marriage agencies by Roooth 25 mon 1,170
    
    I met my husband on eHarmony. True story. [End]

Has anyone's marriage recovered from being nearly sexless???

by #62845 25 mon 2,958 Marriage / Sex / Relationsh

Say yes? Anyone? [End]

Re: Has anyone's marriage recovered from being nearly sexless??? by #28223 25 mon 2,887

I take it, yours is that way? TBH, my husband always had a low sex drive. Now, in his later years, he has physical ailments that prevent him from using that ”little blue pill”. ... ... From what I’ve read, you’re not alone. This issue is not uncommon. [End]

Re: Has anyone's marriage recovered from being nearly sexless??? by #62845 25 mon 2,901

Thank you. I’ve backed away from my feeling of depression last week over it and thought perhaps I must accept this in order to reap the other benefits of our relationship, which are great. Perhaps this is the right conclusion. It’s good to know I’m not alone. [End]

Re: Has anyone's marriage recovered from being nearly sexless??? by #28223 25 mon 2,920

I’ve looked at some of your other posts and see that you have been wrestling with this topic for quite some time. ... ... You mention that you try to keep yourself looking attractive. While, of course, there is nothing wrong with that, it has nothing to do with your husband’s low sex drive. For example, I once worked with a woman who was short, dumpy and prematurely gray. She once told me that her husband wanted sex every night---even when she was having her period. So...attractiveness doesn’t always play as big a role in this as you might think. ... ... I can’t recall if you have children or no ... [retrieve this message]

Marriage by #62845 25 mon 2,603

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. It was kind of you to look back over my history so you could give me useful feedback. ... ... I think I mentioned keeping myself attractive both to preempt the suggestions that this could be the source... and maybe to help remind myself that I’m attractive? ... ... No, there are no kids. As for divorce, the answer is an easy no. If I knew that he was content with this and this is how it will be, I will trade a robust sex life for married life with him. There is no question. And there is lots of physical contact, loving gestures and shared laughter. I spent most ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Marriage by #28223 25 mon 2,663

Well...if you’re both willing, then consider going to a sex therapist. Or buy a book on this topic and read up. He obviously has some hang-ups about sex. That could be due to how he was raised or even what religion (if any) he was exposed to growing up. All this is definitely worth exploring especially since you feel it is the one threat to your marriage. ... ... There is something you really need to think about, and that is this --- As we age, our sex drive naturally diminishes some. Then there is always the possibility of physical ailments, thus no more sex. Try to picture yourself much ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Marriage by #62845 25 mon 2,885

During a time when I was very frustrated sexually, I considered trying toys out, and no I haven’t gotten one. I’ve always gone the old fashioned route, and yes I fantasize. Sadly, I used to fantasize about him... ... ... Thank you for your well thought out response. I’ll have to do some thinking. Finding a compromise we both can live with is the best thing. If I know what the deal is I can live with it - I just need to find out what he’s thinking. Normally he’s pretty good about having open discussions, but this one subject is different and it’s difficult, but I will continue to try. Thank you. [retrieve this message]

Re: Has anyone's marriage recovered from being nearly sexless??? by caffina 23 mon 2,385

Everyone’s marriage will come into a slump at some point of time, it’s only natural. I bet even Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee had a few slumps every now and then. If this happens take the bull by the horns and get yourself one of these things that will really bring you back up to some good passion. ... ... ... ... It works becuase it’s different, a little naughty bringing you back to a simpler time before you were married and while you were courting. Enjoying the adult pleasures together is so much better then you standard ho-hum sex life. Another thing you can try is having sex OUTSIDE of the bedroo ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Has anyone's marriage recovered from being nearly sexless??? by caffina 7 mon 1,095

I came back all these months later to check up on people’s new opinion on this sexless marriage topic. I agree with the poster below who said a sexless marriage is possible if the two are okay with it. I know 2 Virgos who are married - anyone who knows Virgos knows they are never horny. These people seem to lack sex drives at all but I suppose it’s good then - they are meant for each other! P.S. I clicked on my link where I referred you to some vibes and see the link no longer works, my good deed of the day is to link to these things again. You’re welcome ;) ... ... Furthermore, it’s very tru ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Has anyone's marriage recovered from being nearly sexless??? by M2R2 25 mon 2,953

Vary small number. Maybe 5-10%. The real reason is not only sex. If you get it as much as you want you would find out that you are missing intimacy, affection, closeness, touch. Some people use sex to control others have medical problem. Reading your previous post I think you have to dig deeper beyond sex to find real reason for your unhappiness. ... Good luck ... [End]

sure. but there's a cost. by John McCain 2008 25 mon 2,827

of course marriages last because of no sex, no money, no fire, no this or that...but there’s a cost. marriage is a little different according to their priorities. some want financial security and the sex...ah...whenever. My folks actually are married, for 23 years, and have lived in separate homes for about 19 of those years. You talk about sexless! He probably gets laid 4 times a year...if he’s lucky. But it works. Is it strange? Sure it is. Not my cup ’o tea. She’s into financial security and shopping, he’s into having somebody with similar interests. Good buddies who happen t ... [retrieve this message]

Re: sure. but there's a cost. by #62845 25 mon 2,496

Actually, what I meant by my question was can the sex life recover? I’m sure that’s much more difficult than becoming complacent, as with one lady I know of. I wanted to know if anyone had had troubles, something blocking them from their prior sexua| glory, and they somehow made a breakthrough and got past it and had a good sex life again. ... ... Yes, I know that it won’t be like first falling in love, but it can still good and sometimes great. ... ... No, I don’t want to still be whining about this in 2016. I responded to your other post. I’ve pretty well decided that I have a few more things to t ... [retrieve this message]

what ever happened to your sexless marriage? by John McCain 2008 49 days 218

inquiring minds want to know. [End]

I hear you, marriage sucks... by motif 25 mon 2,647

you can try recover but it won’t be natural anymore, ... IMO once it happened it’s over. ... Try swinging pr swapping... [End]

Re: I hear you, marriage sucks... by AngelofEventide 25 mon 2,646

Marriage is what you make of it. Some people want to believe it sucks. I feel bad for you. Nothing in life is guaranteed except death and taxes. Sex is important in a mnarriage but it is not everything. If your spouse was injured in a car accident and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of their lives, would you divorce them? [End]

Re: I hear you, marriage sucks... by motif 25 mon 2,513

why to get married in first place? ... [End]

Re: I hear you, marriage sucks... by #62845 25 mon 2,561

I must admit, this part of the thread made me laugh. ... ... Partner swapping... while I’d like to be open minded about any real solution, this is one I’m not willing to try. My sister tried it. She was very devoted to her family and doing fairly well overall but hinted at some issues in the bedroom (maybe I’m not alone after all, eh?). Whatever bit of discontent she had back then is now dwarfed by her post-divorce depression. Yeah, no thanks. ... ... Motif, I can’t help but be curious about your experience. I believe marriage can suck - thats why I was so damn picky. If the marriage sucked as well ... [retrieve this message]

Re: I hear you, marriage sucks... by AngelofEventide 25 mon 2,498

If you have to ask, then there probably would not be a right answer for you. [End]

Not a good question about sex

by #62845 25 mon 1,727 Sex / Marriage / Relationsh

Hi John MC. ... ... Sorry, I don’t have a good question, but I don’t have any permanent resolution on my problems either. (see my history, you’ll remember) My dear husband and I have had moments when I thought it would get better, but it still feels like our sex lives are becoming more and more separate and a-sexual, i.e. we’re great roommates who masturbate. :( ... ... I have tried so many things on my own to ’fix’ our issues that I have come to the conclusion that I have no power to affect it! At least not alone. I’ve talked to him, taken different approaches, let him come to me, come on to him, n ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Not a good question about sex by Herbsman 25 mon 1,492

I,d say come over here:) Is your husband under any sort of medication? ... ... If not maybe he could try some afrodisiacs herbs, i like a spliff par example with sex, but where i live, is where its actually legal to use. ... ... But really i aint a proffesor on this subject :( lately. ... ... I dont have a wife but i know those things are complex, i crushed my libido with medication, lost my longtimegirl over that. ... ... Maybe talking could help, but could also make it worse, i quess just read up on this board. ... ... Probably very unusefull but sincere. ... ... Cheers, [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #62845 25 mon 1,585

*smile* yes, I would like to come anywhere really, pardon the pun, and express my previously vibrant sexuality, but my dear husband is more important to me. If only I could have both... ... ... I don’t believe it is a medical issue. I have previous postings that explain more of the prior circumstances, particularly that in the past during vacations how we would have sex constantly than it would stop when we got back home. I truly believe it’s in his head and as he is a stubborn, stubborn man, he has to decided he wants to do something about it, I think. After all, my attempts have all failed. I ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #48229 25 mon 1,489

Hey 62845, ... It seems that you have a real problem with your marriage. I wish I knew exactly what to tell you but I can tell you for sure that you are rare indeed if you are a Navy wife and do not mess around. I worked at Whidbey Island several years ago and it was not rare when ever a ship went out for the next few weeks the clubs were full of wives looking for someone to keep them company while their husbands were gone. When the ship returned after 6 to 8 months at sea everything appeared normal in the relationship between husband and wife. I always assumed that was just the way it was wi ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #62845 25 mon 1,552

Thanks for the well wishing. One day maybe I will look into a vibrator, perhaps when he goes back to sea again. My husband told me about the women in the clubs the day after the ship goes out and also about the men messing around with women from the ship or whores in Thailand or elsewhere(I don’t mean the term ”whores” to be derogatory, necessarily, just factual). ... ... Then they come back together and act normal. I do believe that he is faithful as well, and I know that now he trusts me. It is hard. I can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind that when we’re separated, wouldn’t it be nice to have ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #48229 25 mon 1,361

I totally agree with your sentiments and do truly hope that everything works out for the both of you somehow. Your doing without sex is not good for your health either. I read a study several years ago that women who have at least three orgasms a month average eight to ten years longer life spans. ... That seems awfully low amount of orgasms but that is what the study showed. Wishing you good luck and good health! ... ... [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #62845 25 mon 1,480

Judging from the spiritual aspect of sex coupled with love, I would believe that an orgasm with a loved one would have a more powerful effect than the a-sexual orgasm. Still, in this my hand is my companion... [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by M2R2 25 mon 1,360

Here is the link of the disscution group where 15,000 people like you exchange the experinces from their sexless mariges. ... ... http://www.experienceproject.com/group_stories.php?g=332 [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #62845 25 mon 1,316

WOW. THANK YOU. I can’t tell you what a relief it will be to talk to other people experiencing this. [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by fulcanelli 25 mon 1,493

”Place conditioning” is experienced by heroin users, and is a phenomenon in which they get less of a high if they self-administer the dragon in the ame physical location for very long. Now, mentally combine this with ”Stockholm Syndrome” in a gedachen experiment. These two appear to be simultaneously present in many relationships. ... ... A remedy might include : 1) freeing onessself from their captor; and 2) having intimacy in a location other than the usual place. But compounding the difficulty is that the ”captor” is the one with whom intimacy is experienced. If the ”freeing” could be d ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #62845 25 mon 1,404

Thank you. This is an interesting post. It resonates somewhat because I think there is some mental ”freeing” that needs to happen, but I think it’s on his side, unfortunately, and he doesn’t seem comfortable when we talk about this stuff and therefore doesn’t seem to really engage or take action. I wonder if I work so hard at fixing problems that he thinks I can fix this on my own while he plays ostritch. I’ve worked on my own mind to ”free myself” from the stress and achieved that for periods of time where I tried to renew our relations in a playful and light hearted manner and on the occ ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Not a good question about sex by fulcanelli 25 mon 1,457

”For example, a.... later - but we haven’t had hot sex anywhere since.” ... ... Definitely overcame ”place conditioning” with that one. ... ... ... I’m doubtful anyone has yet done studies on place conditioning as it relates to sex in relationships, but I sense soon we’ll be seeing some grad student at work writing it up. ... ... ... When he’s in town, go somewhere remote in a bikini and phone him up, tell him you have a flat tire and when he shows up, give it to him good. ... ... I’m gonna do that this afternoon, sans the bikini. ... [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #62845 25 mon 1,440

If only enthusiasm or cute gimmicks were enough to fix a problem that is way deeper. I’ve done more extravagant stunts than this... I anticipate that he would most likely laugh and think it’s a good joke or say no, or try to and have performance anxiety since there’s pressure on him in that moment to suddenly become romantic. Unfortuantely, there are bigger issues. I anticipate these responses because of my experience with him. ... ... Second, after having been turned down so many many times, it hurts to put myself out there to be turned down again, although I’m used to it, sure enough. ... ... And ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Not a good question about sex by zwer 25 mon 1,386

Maybe he’s a bit gay? [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #62845 25 mon 1,516

hahaha yeah, not a chance in hell. If he was, it would be quite a bit easier, don’t you think? We could be BFF’s and when he went away, have a screw fest like other Navy couples. Ah well. [End]

Re: Not a good question about sex by #140701 25 mon 1,340

If there is porn in his life thats a sure sign that his sex drive is not dead. Have him walk through a local college, and see if he thinks his sex ... ... drive is dead. There will be 500 hot college girls. If he doesn’t feel a kick, then yeah he might have some things to work out. ... ... I think you should find out what type of girl he wants to f*** and become that girl. At least for sex purposes. ... ... He might like a girl who is just really super dirty, and your not. If you bitch and complain about what he wants thats a big no no for guys. ... ... [retrieve this message]

actually, your question is quite good. by John McCain 2008 25 mon 1,501

been busy but back for more enlightening interaction on curezone...your comments are one who actually is real, a woman who thinks out loud the thoughts that many are too afraid to utter. i think you’re quite the gal, to be honest. you aren’t lieing to yourself about the situation, this is life and this is how it is. sex isn’t a part of your marriage, that’s your reality. question is: do you want to put up with no sex, always wondering what your guy is doing with or without you? well? he’s getting sex somewhere, you know it, i know it, we all know it. you’re a brave soul to acknowle ... [retrieve this message]

Re: actually, your question is quite good. by #62845 25 mon 1,416

You’re thinking it won’t last. ... ... I don’t think he is getting it from another person... not yet. Porn, yes, that I’m sure of. I have good reason to think that at least lately, but I don’t know that this can last. I work from home and we live a pretty domesticated life, but when he goes back out to sea and is surrounded by whores and navy women looking to score... ... ... We both hold to very high ideals and wanted this to be a monogomous relationship, but I am concerned about us holding to that if we don’t fix this. If it ever came to light that either of us had been unfaithful, I believe it ... [retrieve this message]

Need someone to talk to Wife cheated

by avengerz43 30 mon 4,009 Marriage / Abuse Phys / Abused Hus / 4 / 5 / 6

Sorry for the long post only read I guess if you have time I just need someone to talk to. ... ... Hi, not really sure how to do this or whatever but I really needed somewhere to vent, someone to talk to. I guess I’ll keep it as brief as I can but this might be kind of long. ... ... My name is Zach, I’m 27 been married 7 years and have a 3 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. My wife is 27 as well and we met kind of funny, on match.com the dating website. See I guess in my youth I probably caused a lot of girls to seek infidelity help since I was a big male whore lol no but seriously I was a pl ... [retrieve this message]

Give her a second chance! But don't trust her too much! by EricB 30 mon 2,666

Give her a second chance, but don’t trust her too much! ... Try to find out why would she decide to come back to you? ... Does she feels the same connection toward you, the same kind of love that you feel toward her? ... If her only reason to stay with you is economical or for the sake of kids, or until she can find some other place to stay, then you do not have future together. ... But still, you need to forgive and show respect toward each other, for the sake of kids and for your own mental and emotional health. ... ... ... How to deal with your anger? How to deal with jealousy? ... ... Easy. ... ... Find another wo ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by Roooth 30 mon 2,663

My answer is brief: all this pain and frustration and uncertainty and mistrust and endless playing over in your head awful things... everything bad that’s happening to you emotionally now is how you can expect your life to be permanently as long as you try to be with her. I’m very sorry for this, but I believe it to be the truth. [End]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by powertool4 29 mon 2,487

I read the entire thing, I was pretty bored today. ... Almost makes me not believe this is real but if the story is real, that is some f***ed up shit. ... ... The part of your brain where you think ”what if she had some molestation, trauma” and all that stuff is your BRAIN trying to justify or rationalize for the sake of your mental wellbeing something traumatic that happened to YOU. Your brain is asking ”what if” questions because it cannot wrap itself around the true hard facts that are shocking and unbelievable. I dont blame you. But you have to recognize that it is your mind playing games on y ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by SoulfulSurvivor 29 mon 2,419

Is it possible that the original poster needs to address his past before he can go about casting stones? Predatory behavior reaps what it sows, and this might be one of Life’s Lessons: what goes around, comes around. ... ... I would urge the OP to cease all "intimate" relationships and get into some serious counseling to get to the root of his own behaviors. What is very clear is that the OP is apparently wanting to control his girlfriend - we do not have the ultimate authority to control anyone but OURSELVES. Once the OP has done some hard, courageous, a ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by SoulfulSurvivor 29 mon 2,369

oops....WIFE, not girlfriend. ... [End]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by powertool4 29 mon 2,291

Everyone has issues and i’m SURE the OP has relationship issues as well. But there isn’t much info about his past and as far the situation is concerned and from the information disclosed, SHE completely f***ed him over. What she did was wrong period. Doesn’t change the facts. ... ... Its possible the OP has problems with choosing the right kind of women but he said no such thing so anything more than what was stated above is just conjecture. With the information GIVEN, her hurtful and cheating actions are clear. And even if he does have some sort of intimacy problem, it certainly does not mitig ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by SoulfulSurvivor 29 mon 2,358

My most sincere apologies for my post - it DID read quite judgemental, and I am very sorry. ... ... The point that I was trying to get at was that the OP obviously has issues with intimacy - not sexua| intimacy, just plain intimacy. Now, whatever the wife has done is her own responsibility, but in order to avoid making the same disastrous choices in a partner, again, it would be a very strong and courageous leap for the OP to engage in individual counseling. He cannot "fix" whatever is motivating his wife to cheat. The only person that he can control is him ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by MrCuddly 27 mon 2,032

Wow - that’s really judgmental and messed up. First of all, it’s his wife - not his girlfriend and they have young children to think about. So it’s not at ALL on the same level of being a playa when you’re young and single. ... ... The wife is clearly selfish and shows no regard in the least for her marraige, children and family. And in this case she couldn’t more clearly be the sexua| predator - and with tragic consequences. ... ... Most of us know that this marriage (like so many others) is doomed - but with kids at stake, the OP will never feel good about himself if he gives up without a fight ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by JesusIsKing 29 mon 2,351

You will need to forgive her. Get close to Jesus and He will heal your heart. Both of you get a bible and read daily. Pray together, and spend time with each other. ... ... Love yourselves even more. And love your kids. Put Jesus first in all you do. [End]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by #23475 29 mon 2,226

This guy didn´t seem to be interested in his post, so I won´t add anything. [End]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by 13years 25 mon 1,734

Whats crazy is a lot of women do this, or go through this. Must be some baby hormone thing, I dunno. Most girls do this at 20 too. ... ... Start f***ing a bunch of dueds and drag some poor guy through it. ... ... ... Good news, she will whore herself tired, and realize she loves you. Might take a year and couple of guys later but it will ... ... happen. OH and shes going to give you a STD if your not super careful. If you do have sex with her again. Put on a condom, and watch her face. She will get soooo insulted so p ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Need someone to talk to Wife cheated by #144420 21 mon 1,249

I see this is an old post, but I am new to this sight. I am currently going through a similar situation with my husband, whos done the cheating. And I just wondered how it’s going for you. I’m trying to decide if I want to try to work things out, or if it’s going to be alot of work and hurt for him to do the same thing all over again. I’m so confused! [End]

Emotional Betrayal

by #129410 33 mon 2,884 Marriage / Divorce / Love / 4 / 5 / 6

I have been married for 6 years and I have just fallen in love/lust with another person. I am at lost what to do. Nothing physical has happened, but we connected. ... ... My husband and I have a relative normal marriage, apart from the fact that we are very seldom intimate. Maybe once every four months. It got this bad after a miscarriage we went through. ... ... I have not lost my desire, only my desire for my husband. And his libido is quite low, as he is a total workaholic. ... ... I know I had a choice for a split second, before I fell for this person, but, obviously I made the wrong choice. ... ... Shoul ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by BlueRose 33 mon 2,637

You owe it to your husband and to yourself to get your marriage back on track. I’m sure that the miscarriage is one of the reasons you’re both off track. You both went through a stresful time. ... ... Was he a workaholic before the miscarriage? Or did it start after the miscarriage? If it is the latter, he may be using work as a way to avoid dealing with his feelings. ... ... First, try talking to him about his low libido, his workaholism and your feelings about the miscarriage. Don’t mention your attraction for the other man. After all, at this point you’re just lusting in your heart---and ha ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129410 33 mon 2,456

Thank you, Blue Rose, for your encouraging words. ... ... Yes, my husband was a workaholic even before we got married, but I did not realize what effect it would have on our relationship. Spilled milk. When you are young, you think things can only get better. ... ... We experienced the miscarriage 3 years ago, and one year ago, my husband, after I asked him for emotional support, told me, that in the 5 years we have been married, I have turned into the most boring person he knows. That really hurt and it stuck. ... ... A few months ago, a lady in our choir, was astounded to find out that we were married, ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by BlueRose 33 mon 2,342

You’re welcome. ... ... Ann Landers, the late advice columnist, used to ask women in positions similar to yours ---”Are you better off with him or without him?” Only you can really answer that. ... ... I see a big red flag when you said: ... ... I am 35 now. And my biological clock is driving me crazy. My husband does not want children. I do. ... ... I strongly believe when planning a family, you both have to be on the same page. In other words, you both have to want a child. If you give into him and don’t have a child, you will always regret it and feel a hole in your heart. On the other hand, if he is ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129410 33 mon 2,397

My heart is pounding: I was just reading up on my given name Catharina, where the wiki page mention that Hecate is associated with the name Katharine ... ... Hecate or Hekate (ancient Greek Ἑκάτη, Hekátē, pronounced /ˈhɛkətiː/ or /ˈhɛkət/[1] in English) is a chthonic Greco-Roman goddess associated with magic and crossroads. ... ... Yes, I need to do some soul searching. Maybe a week of isolation would help. ... ... ... Thank you again, Blue Rose ... ... Keep well ... [End]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by Bythc 33 mon 2,260

in the 5 years we have been married, I have turned into the most boring person he knows. ... ... If this is how your husband feels, really. The the question is, do you want to spend the rest of your life with a person who thinks you are the most boring person the man knows? Life is too short, IMO. [End]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129440 32 mon 2,349

I feel for you, 129410. ... ... Contrary to what someone else said I don’t think you owe anyone anything but yourself. You know in your heart what you feel, therefore staying in an unhappy marriage, other man or not, is not going to make anybody’s life any better. ... ... Besides, based on the comments you said your husband has made, I would not be inclined to stay with him. To be frank, he’s probably cheating on you already anyway. I am not going to encourage you to cheat with this other man or to leave the marriage because of him. You must decide what you want to do about your marriage at this poi ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129410 32 mon 2,205

Thanks, every opinion added here, gives me insight, and helps me. ... ... ”...therefore staying in an unhappy marriage, other man or not, is not going to make anybody’s life any better...” ... ... That is the thing: the marriage per se is not unhappy, it is just me. My husband seems content. So, maybe before ending my marriage, I should look at ways to improve my actions, thoughts and try to become content with myself once more. ... ... ”...To be frank, he’s probably cheating on you already anyway...” ... No, I am certain he is not. He simply does not have the time for it, because he is already totally tak ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by HarmonicCharge 33 mon 2,363

WHY are you with your husband? ... ... Just because you are married? ... ... [End]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129410 33 mon 2,335

Yes, I am with my husband, because I have made a promise to him in front of God, to love him and be true to him. ... ... I still love him, but in my heart I have betrayed him by developing an infatuation with another man. ... ... When I compare the love I have for my husband, with the love I have for my brother, it is very similar. Is this what a marriage becomes after only 6 years? ... ... I feel I am in the prime of my life, yet, I feel so unfulfilled by our marriage. Maybe this person I have met, is just a catalyst, sent to prompt me into action, and nothing more. ... ... I realize something has to be don ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by HarmonicCharge 33 mon 2,331

Sounds like he is married to his job. It must have hurt very much that he wasn’t like that in the beginning but became a workaholic. ... ... I guess I see marriage as a man made contract and why would I stay with someone just because we are married, when the same circumstance would have been dissolved had it been just a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. ... ... But I do respect your view. ... ... The thing that stuck out in your post was that you wanted children... ... ... It may take a few years to find a man who you would want as a father, so you should think about your future! ... ... I regret taking my sweet ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129410 33 mon 2,312

”...maybe you want to stick it out with this guy for the next 60 years?...” ... ... You made me think. I realized that my first hope would be for my marriage to get better. But how does one re-kindle a fire? I have never had to cross a bridge like this before. ... ... I think, for my own sanity, my first step would be to change my Gym time to early mornings. Thus, avoiding the source of my immediate disharmony. Then, when my heart, head and my loins have calmed down, I will re-evaluate the situation. ... ... Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it. ... [End]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by HarmonicCharge 33 mon 2,353

I think you are on the road to realizing what is best. ... ... The answer is inside you somewhere. ... ... I am in a similar circumstance with big decisions to make, ie having children vs. not having any vs. adopting someday if I wait too long to have my own, never having any kids etc etc etc ... ... I was in a relationship where he did not want kids and that took many years of my life... ... ... It almost becomes an emergency situation as we as women become older, there is not much time left to conceive naturally, and then there is the dilemma of if that is what we truly want. ... ... He sounds like he would mak ... [retrieve this message]

emotional rescue. by John McCain 2008 33 mon 2,335

it’s easy to understand with the cold fish husband you have and scott studly walks into your life, you’d be a little taken back. you state that he doesn’t care about sex. you state that he’s a workaholic. the miscarriage situation was the catalyst that put all these negatives in force, and your hubby was the lucky guy on duty during this period. now, you obviously want something he can’t give. seems to be a normal reaction to the situation. you do realize if you go and screw this new stud you’ll end your marriage, even the good parts of it. so with that in mind, it’s easy for an out ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by love2ski 33 mon 2,453

I disagree with some of the comments other people have made. I was in a similair situation, my marriage was at a low point and I felt vulnerable. I was attracted to someone that played on a sports team with me. Right after the attraction started I told my husband. He appreciated that I told him and that we could then work on our marriage and what happened in the first place for me to be in that kind of position. ... ... I assume your husband is your best friend, and as such the only way to affair proof your marriage is for the two of you to be totally honest with each other. Nothing can tear th ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129410 32 mon 2,157

T hank you all of you, for your input, I appreciate it very much. ... ... I have read about similar situations on the net, and it seems everybody feels quite despondent. Nobody mentions a resolving of the situation. ... ... ... To Harmonic Charge: ... ... ... I feel for you and your situation - I believe a lot of what is happening to me, might be connected to my biological clock overriding my sensibility. My body wants to procreate. I will lie if I say I did not have a fleeting thought of me having the other guys child. I realize it is pure insanity thinking like this. ... ... ... I hope you find resolve f ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by #129410 32 mon 2,428

I have done some reading, about marriage and affairs, and came across this website: ... ... http://www.marriagebuilders.com ... ... I found the description of what marriage is and the stages it goes through, very, very insightful. Maybe someone will find it helpful too. ... ... At least I have a better understanding of why I find myself in this situation, and how to try to fix it, if I choose to do so. ... ... There are some good reading on WHY affairs happen, and how to avoid situations that might give rise to an affair. ... ... This is a summary of the basic concepts. ... http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mb ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Emotional Betrayal by peepalala 22 mon 1,350

hi ... as far as i think i advice you to be loyal to your husband because marriage is a relation that only works when the both of people be loyal and dedicated to this relation and as you mention you have a normal marriage life then dont make it mess ... . we are the common people who make mistake but god give us chance to learn from them so please dont feel bad because you still dont do anything wrong , ... ... Spread the word... Divorce doesn’t have to be devastating ... http://knowingdivorce.com/ [End]

Poll

by #62845 3 year 1,767 Relationship / Marriage / Sex / 4

Would you stay in a sexless marriage for love? [End]

Re: Poll by HarmonicCharge 3 year 1,869

It depends on the reason for it being sexless. [End]

Re: Poll by Hidden Username 3 year 1,777

Maybe if the guy supported me getting it elsewhere. ... ... ... I haven’t had sex in almost a year. That’s hard enough as it is. I can’t imagine staying ”married” to someone and never getting it again..or very infrequently. ... ... [End]

Re: Poll by #68716 3 year 1,596

I thought that’s why women got married, so they wouldn’t have to have sex anymore.... ... ... ... [End]
- Re: Poll by #62845 3 year 1,577
  
  Wow... didn’t expect that. [End]
  - Re: Poll by #68716 3 year 1,566
    
    I was, just didn’t think it woulda happened so quickly. Its a matter of DHA levels, dehydroepiandrosterone. [End]

sexless in the city. by John McCain 2008 33 mon 1,480

tough call. would the mccainster stay in a sexless marriage? hmmmmmm...sex is really important in a marriage. but you throw in the word ”love” which intensifies the bond. i might if i loved her. let’s put it this way, this is how i could cum to grips (pardon the pun) with your query. if my wife had a medical concern that forced the sex to be painful or damaging to her health, i most definately would stay in the marriage. i am not going to penalize her for something she cannot help. not this guy. i’m a man of honor and if i have to hold a vibrator over her clit until she climaxes, ... [retrieve this message]

The Book of Our Past Lives

by #130069 3 year 2,286 Past Lives / Spirituali / Marriage / 4 / 5 / 6

need support for novel / love story about past lives. Having trouble getting the word out. It seems people either love it or don’t get it. Please check out and leave positive feedback at amazon (or anywhere) if you like it. thank you! ... ... The Book of Our Past Lives by K.M. MacKinnon ... ... http://www.amazon.com/Book-Our-Past-Lives/dp/1452840903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277392975&sr=1-1 [End]

Wow! I almost ended my marriage and I see why!

RR by TonyaT11 3 year 4,066 Mirena / Birth Cont / IUD Malfun / 4 / 5 / 6

I can not believe I didn’t do my research before getting my Mirena iud put in! I got mine put in around Jan/Feb 2010 and it is now June. I have been going to the same ob/gyn for 10 years and when he said IUD and it lasting 5 years I was all for it, because he knew me....right? I am 26 years old and have two children and a new marriage (1 yr in July) the kids are 6 yrs and 9 months. Since the insertion I have had the following symptoms (from begining to now) which I thought was because of lifes changes. ... ... BLEEDING for 3-4 months straight ... VAGINAL INFECTIONS- chunky discharge, musky smell ( ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Wow! I almost ended my marriage and I see why! by Jane123 3 year 2,564

So sorry for all you’ve been through because of the Mirena. Thank you for sharing your story. Please go to the FDA website to report your side effects. Your health care provider should also report them, but unfortunately most of them don’t believe it’s the Mirena causing them. Wishing you better health and a quick recovery. Warn every woman you know to research the Mirena before getting one. [End]

Re: Wow! I almost ended my marriage and I see why! by TonyaT11 3 year 2,549

I am so excited, almost to tears that I have found this out! I seriously have almost lost everything and I thought it was because I was going crazy or had post partum depression, even though the symptoms didn’t start until my daughter was 3 months old. I am informing everyone via facebook that I know. I have a friend who was admitted into a pshychiatric hospital and was there for a few months because her family thought she was losing her mind.......... I just sent her a text to ask if she had the IUD and she said she did, I asked if she had it before she went to the hospital and again she ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Wow! I almost ended my marriage and I see why! by ukmum 3 year 2,610

I know it’s such a relief when you finally discover the cause of all your weird and life-changing side effects. I suffered for almost three years before finding the answer thanks to women posting on this site and others. It may be worth you and your friend checking out the Mirena side-effects page at medications.com and there are also a couple of petitions containing some shocking testimonies. I had mine removed in November and it was honestly the best decision I’ve ever made!! [End]

Re: Wow! I almost ended my marriage and I see why! by anysia 3 year 2,351

i was there. i was you back in january this year! i had mirena inserted in sept 09. i quickly began having issues. headaches, acne, no libido, skin as greasy as a frying pit, constant spotting, cramping, moodiness, weight gain, basically i felt like i was pregnant times 10! it was horrrid. my husband flipped out on me in january and said our marraige was over, he didn’t think i wanted to be with him, i was controlling and he couldnt’ take it, and so on. ... ... i called the next day and made an appointment to get it OUT. (i had asked about getting it out at my 6 week checkup after getti ... [retrieve this message]

Re: Wow! I almost ended my marriage and I see why! by TonyaT11 3 year 2,396

That is wild! I can’t believe how many of us there are out there and this thing is still on the market! I have had mine out for 3 weeks now, my gyn wants me to get off of all the anti-depressants I am taking since I have never needed them this much before! Now I have to convince my ”crazy” doctor that I do not need them and hope he backs me up as well! How long did it take to get your labido back? If you remember that far back......I still don’t feel like having sex! Of course it could be because of this awesome bacterial infection I have! I sure need a break from all of the womanly issues ... [retrieve this message]

School Superintendent Selection by refreshed 3 year 740 F.Y.I. / Grandparen / Good Marri / 4 / 5

http://www.curezone.com/upload/Members/new03/Selection_of_Superintendent.jpg ... http://www.curezone.com/upload/Members/new03/Superintendent_page_2.jpg [End]

by #129307 3 year 1,574 Relationship / Marriage / Help Me / 4

Re: jealousy over husband chatting/gaming by BlueRose 3 year 1,805

From What I’ve read, you seem troubled that your husband has made online friends with people who share a common interest with him. I’m also gathering that you are concerned that one of those friends is female. Let me ask you this --- if all his online friend were male, would you still be troubled? ... ... Does he spend so much time chatting online with people that when you weigh it out, it turns out that he spends more time with them than he does with you? Would you feel the same way if the friends lived locally and they got together in person? ... ... When he chatted with the woman and told her ... [retrieve this message]

Re: jealousy over husband chatting/gaming by uchihaMadara 3 year 1,469

I believe that you should trust your gut instincts. However, a female gamer is something rare overall. There could be some fascination with the idea and it’s pleasing to think about, but if he lives openly, trust him. If there is something in your gut that says otherwise, then you must decide what to do next. ... ... Some guys become immersed in gaming, paying little attention to the girlfriend/wife. Cheating can occur when there is little interaction for a long time between partners. However, I believe that on average, the female wants to spend more time together, while the male more often wan ... [retrieve this message]

Re: jealousy over husband chatting/gaming by celia195 3 year 1,496

Do not be silly in that way. It is just a game and I think it does not harm your relationship ! [End]

Re: jealousy over husband chatting/gaming by Tyler Durden 3 year 1,735

It sounds like the crucial trust element is still there, however you feel that yourself and himself are gradually growing apart. It is important you nip this in the bud as you see it becoming more of an issue. ... ... You need to talk to him and let him know that this is bothering you, confront him and point out that it’s rare for the two of you to do things together lately and that you want him to help you understand why he spends so much time gaming. Don’t throw your hands up in the air and give up talking to him- it’s the worst thing you could do. ... ... He’s starting to neglect your relations ... [retrieve this message]

Re: jealousy over husband chatting/gaming by brycue 3 year 1,707

If you replace ”online games” with ”flag football”, would all the above apply? Because, at my work place, we have a co-ed flag football league that plays on weekends and causes me to miss time with my spouse, make both male and female friends, etc. Other than the time of day and the lack of exercise, I don’t see why this is any different. Moreover, this is extremely unlikely to ever lead to cheating because the female gamer is probably across the country. ... ... As someone who has played online games before, I can tell you it is more fun with other people, same as it is ... [retrieve this message]

is really love and hate that close? by motif 3 year 416

I heard somewhere this statement and I’m slowly starting to believe it... [End]

love and marriage...

R by #62845 3 year 1,767 Sex / Marriage / Relationsh

So I’ve made several posts in these forums as I struggled with a few issues in my marriage, mostly sex related issues. I posted about great vacation sex with my husband while he seems to have a block about good sex within the routine of home life. Then there was the incident of me being home and catching him watching porn. ... ... Lastly, there was a secret admirer who ”just wanted to be friends” but was working every angle he could to ”be friends” even though we were both married. I’ve seen this before and although part of me wants a friend in general (I’ve moved recently), part of me wanted ... [retrieve this message]

Re: love and marriage... by BlueRose 3 year 1,520

Excellent! Good for you! Keep up the good work --- you’re both on the right track! [End]

Re: love and marriage... by MrCuddly 3 year 1,405

Don’t you feel a bit hypocritical making him feel bad about using porn when you’re using your own masturbation device? There’s nothing wrong with either of your masturbating - it’s perfectly natural. It’s a good outlet that will make it easier not to stray in tempting times. ... ... Even in our best most satisfying relationships we all need our private auto-stimulation moments. Just the way it is. Kind of like sometimes you want to go to the effort of a full meal and other times just grab a quick snack. Though it never stops women from feeling insulted (even when they’re doing the same thi ... [retrieve this message]

Re: love and marriage... by #62845 3 year 1,479

Ah, I think you’re projecting onto me the typical female reaction. When did I make him feel bad about using porn? I never approached him about it and in fact have been supportive in its use during our separations, and understanding about the fact that this is something that guys do. In spite of my support, it is something he feels he would like to lessen when ”in port”. The church may be part of the influence here, but he says he felt bad about it before the church brought it up. ... ... (And no, I’m not using a device yet. I keep saying I’ll get one for the times when he’s using porn instead ... [retrieve this message]

Re: love and marriage... by MrCuddly 3 year 1,416

Well, you say you ”caught him” watching porn. And he’s telling you he wants to stop doing it. So clearly there was an element of shame that he felt with you catching him watching porn. ... ... My wife has also found me watching porn at times in our marriage and simply pretended not to notice. I felt no shame whatsoever - but wouldn’t have even if she made an issue out of it. ... ... We all need companionship in marriage, but we all need our personal space too. And one reason I’m sure we’ve lasted 20 years is that we both give each other space and respect for our solitary thoughts, deeds and acti ... [retrieve this message]

Re: love and marriage... by #62845 3 year 1,444

Hey Mr. Cuddly, ... ... I do want to thank you; it seems you’re trying to help by supplying a man’s perspective and I appreciate it. ... ... I didn’t go too much into detail, but no, I don’t put any pressure on him about porn because I know that I don’t understand it but it is different for guys. Of course porn is better then a woman, which is why he uses is when deployed. When I found that he used porn while I was at home, it is because I saw the bill. I never mentioned to him that I saw it; he still doesn’t know. ... ... He did come to the conclusion on his own that he thinks it’s not right to do at ho ... [retrieve this message]

Opposite sex friends - are they okay?

by #62845 3 year 1,390 Relationship / Marriage

A man wants to be my friend, to see me sometime out of our normal venue. He knows I’m married, says he respects that and would not do anything to put me in a bad situation. He does admit he likes me. He wants to be friends to have a chance to talk to me. I would kind of like to, but I wonder if this is a bad situation. Should I feel guilty if I go have lunch (in a public place) with this guy as a friend? ... ... He does seem sincere... what’s a good policy on opposite sex friends? [End]

Re: Opposite sex friends - are they okay? by #114170 3 year 1,354

Why don’t you just ask your husband what he thinks????? [End]

Re: Opposite sex friends - are they okay? by #62845 3 year 1,284

You know, I was considering doing exactly that, and the fact that I felt nervous/wierd about that is an indication of what I really think! I’ve decided not to risk trouble. It’s not worth it. [End]

Re: Opposite sex friends - are they okay? by hanna 3 year 1,486

Not a good idea. Would you like it if your husband did the same. ... Besides he asked you, would you ever have thought of asking him. ... Of course often people go out for business lunches etc, but the one on one meetings not related to business often create problems in the long run. It is always better to not put yourself in that position. ... It is only good for the ego. ... Every affair starts with an innocent encounter. [End]

Re: Opposite sex friends - are they okay? by #62845 3 year 1,353

Yeah, I’m thinking you’re definitely right, especially considering our other conversation. I’ve decided to go with your advice and not flirt with trouble, so to speak. [End]

Re: Opposite sex friends - are they okay? by #62845 3 year 1,447

Hanna, ... ... You are wise and good. :) Since I read your post, I couldn’t help reflecting over and over again that it is good for the ego. Yes, this is highly about my ego. I like the attention, particularly since I’m taking care of myself and don’t get the sexua| attention at home so much. Hubby is used to me but if I were single I could totally go cougar if I wanted! lol. ... ... I’m completely over it. Part of it was that I’m in a new location and need to make friends, but I have a new gal to hang out so I’ll be pursing that. Thanks for all your help! ... ... Thanks, ... Six-Two-Eight-Four-Five [retrieve this message]

transaltion: "i respect marriage...but i want to screw you any way." by John McCain 2008 3 year 1,256

i’m a guy. i know exactly what he’s up to so listen. if you value your marriage and only you can answer that question...run for the hills. do not go to lunch. how many friends do you need at your age any way? really. he’s got the hots for you and you’re smitten with the attention...admit it...come on. this has all the trappings of a marital trainwreck up ahead. stop at the crossing, get over the flirt, back the car up and go home. trust me...a solid marriage trumps a hot, sweaty, guilty lay every time. [End]

and further more... by John McCain 2008 3 year 1,343

for all the women out there, just so you know the score. when a guy offers to take you to lunch, he wants in your pants. take that to the bank. lol...i know exactly why we do this so don’t doubt me. lunch is when he’s looking for the opening. if you had a flowchart for every screw a guy’s had in his life, i’ll betcha 8 out of 10 charts start at the bottom with lunch somewhere. [End]

Re: and further more... by Hidden Username 3 year 1,187

Well yeah.. ... ... Only guys on the internet come right out and invite you over for sex. The rest..start with lunch or dinner. ... ... [End]

sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad.

by John McCain 2008 3 year 2,490 Relationship / Abuse Phys / Sex / 4 / 5

you know, i am always amazed at how much sympathy goes to the woman in situations like this when all the blame should be squarely put on the wife. that’s correct. sandra is a traditional, nice, sweetheart of a honey who you would think would attract a nice, traditional, great guy of her caliber? no. she allows herself to fall prey to a tattoed, freaky, addictive personality many grade levels below her in every category of human existence...and with the ultimate knowledge that jesse james married a porn star formerly, dated strippers, druggies, alocholics, whores and the like...she cont ... [retrieve this message]

Re: sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad. by LuellaMay 3 year 2,269

Can’t say I’m up to speed with the Sandra Bullock issue, just saw a headline here and there. So the information I have received is from your post. ... ... Ah! If it were only as simple as logic and common sense. Why do "good high class girls" fall for vermin? Low self-esteem. Someone with any sort of self worth would never put themselves in a situation like that. Even successful movie stars have deep seated emotional issues that need to be resolved. The source. Whatever it is. ... ... My Best, ... ... Luella ... [End]

Re: sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad. by #13594 3 year 2,300

... It has been my observations, and talks with females of many ages, over the years is that there seems to be an inborn thing of females that want to change a man. ... ... Seems to work most of the time, but not all the time. [End]

i would bet money that the ratio is 65/35 against. by John McCain 2008 3 year 2,252

not even close to changing a guy’s natural tendencies towards unseemly behavior. women like to think they have this special power to change guys to their liking. guy is an alcoholic before marriage, i’ll change him. guy screws whores before marriage, i’ll change him. guy is into freaky sex before marriage, i’ll change him. usually doesn’t work and i’ll go one step further...half of those who outwardly showcase happy and stable...aren’t. if 35% of all marriages are genuine and real and satisfying, i’d be surprised! reality is what it is. i could go up and down my pew at church and t ... [retrieve this message]

Re: sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad. by LuellaMay 3 year 2,159

Thinking that you can change someone is a misconception. And it does not work in the majority of cases. A person has to "want" to change. Nobody can change someone else. When thinking of going into a relationship, take a good square solid look at the person. In most instances, "what you see is what you get." ... ... My Best, ... ... Luella ... [End]

Re: sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad. by Raynbo 3 year 2,220

I would like to add to this. Sometimes, what you see is NOT what you get. My somewhat homely acupuncturist husband turned out to be worse then my georgeous, cocaine sniffing ballet dancer boyfriend....(he was an obvious bad boy...but gee whiz...he had the face and body of a young mythical God...) ... ... Take your time ladies, and give the true man a chance to come out. They all put their best foot forward in the beginning, so give him at least a year to prove himself before you tie any knots. A professional background search is not a bad idea, or at least sniff out a few unbiased reference ... [retrieve this message]

Re: sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad. by stoneface 3 year 2,293

Your opinion and advice hits close to the mark. ... ... Ladies are in a commanding position in relationship matters. ... Unfortunately the relationship decisions they make are often based on emotional facts when really common sense should rule! ... ... SF [End]

Re: sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad. by #23475 23 mon 1,071

I agree with that, not sure why. ... ... Maybe a need to be needed, codependency or that women need to fix things. ... But do we also have to fix our guys???? That`s not using our brains. ... I was married for many years with a guy that I prayed, begged, and threatened to change. He never did, so I changed. ... ... It`s waisted energy to ty to change someone....Use that energy to change yourself. ... ... Either you like him the way it is or you better save your time and energy for more important matters. ... We woman do not need a man to have happy, succesful and fullfiled lives. ... ... Just my sense of it. ... ... [retrieve this message]

Re: sandra bullock: yet another nice girl who marries bad. by infinitelove 3 year 2,024

”..memo to all women out there of dating and marrying age: notice the red flags. heed my warning. use your brain. don’t date druggies or alcoholics. don’t date freaks who have done all the women on the west side of sunset strip. if your guy shows a propinsity to indulge in freaky sex, boot his ass out the door instantly” ... ... Well then, after that rundown, who the frick is left? [End]

Re: They may not be good for us but bad boys are exciting. by Iolite 3 year 2,100

Hopefully tho, you go thru your ”bad boy phase” young and wise up to what’s the real deal and find someone who is stable, dependable and devoted. ... ... Speakin’ from experience, bad boys are fun -- if you like roller coasters. After a while, I got tired of the extreme highs and lows of the roller coaster. Fortunately, I was young and single and learned from this and moved on. ... ... The BIGGEST lesson that should be learned: The ONLY one you can change is YOURSELF. Don’t go into a relationship thinking ”I can change him/her and life will be grand.” ’Cause that’s only going to lead to heart ... [retrieve this message]

enjoy the freaks but don't complain when you get dumped on your ass. by John McCain 2008 3 year 2,021

or he turns out to be wasted every night. or he doesn’t show up to your kid’s ballgame. or he is between jobs every other year because of his bad habits and leans on your paycheck to cover. or he drains your bank account at the bar or casino with his freaky deadbeat friends. or he flirts at the dance club while your head is turned. or he comes home late with that sex smell we all know of, problem though...doesn’t smell like your scent. boy, that sounds really exciting doesn’t it? amerika needs more non-boring dudes like that...just don’t have enough excitement! [End]

Re: enjoy the freaks but don't complain when you get dumped on your ass. by Iolite 3 year 2,248

Too true. None of that happened to me. We did break up a lot. And we never had any kind of a committed relationship -- thats what I meant ’bout the ups and down. And he wasn’t really all that bad, and we never lived together. My bad boy was WAY tamer than Sandy’s, lol. Never fathered any kids, never married, just a binging alcoholic, motorcycle riding loner. [End]

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