Re: **NEED ADVICE about marriage

I had a bad marriage myself, for 3 and a half years after our son was born he never touched me, it's one of the hardest things I have ever been trough, he never gave me a real explanation nor do I need it now, that was more than 10 years ago. It was not my fault, and no matter what I did or said, never nagged , he just look angry at me, never did anything to make him hate me. The emotional process I had to go trough after I finally left him was long and hard work. Years later I meet a great guy and had a really good sexual relationship with him for years, we had great chemestry and loved each other a lot. I have been in both sides, rejected and rejecter, I can say I know a lot about men when it comes to sex, and it does not offend me in any way for him to look at porn, I would even sat down and read to him, and showed him pics while we sat comfortably on the couch, 5 minutes later he would forgot about the magazine then I would take advantage of the situation, and you know what I mean.
I agree with the guys on this one, sorry girls, sex is important, to both sexes, not just them, had I found my boyfriend or husband looking at naked girls on the net, I would simply pull my skirt up and sat on his lap right there and then.
On the other hand, guys, not trying to be mean or anything, but are you idiots?
by reading all your messages, you just confirmed what I have been saying the last 2 years, guys find a gal they have great chemestry with and get along in and out of bed, but then go and find someone nothing like that and marry her, then go on and spend the next years of your life complaining about how she does not want you in bed, and cheating on ther, or trying to with the gal you did get along with in the first place.
If sex is so important to guys, why in the world you marry one who does not enjoy you in bed? I for one could not marry someone I don't get along with in bed, been there done that, and got out of it really fast, comparing to some of you ,,,I only stayed with him for 4 years......I know when to quit.
Yes I know you are going to say, but LOVE blah blah blah,,,,,,yes love is very important, but like Doctor Phil says, when sex is ok, is 10% important, when is not, is 90% important. I loved my exhusband a lot, more than I have ever loved anyone in my life, but that matter nothing to him, and no I did not just leave him because he did not want to have sex with me, but because he treated me like crap and ignore me completely too. I did not matter how much I loved him, he did not love me back, that not real love, it's only real when you are loved too, and when that happens you can not ignore each other needs and wants.

Now my advice to you 40649, get some counseling, if he does not want to go, go by your self, learn more about sex, read a learn about it, learn what he wants and what you want, to those who say, you don't want to be burden with pleasuring him all his life, well, then don't marry, that is part of what marriage is about, sex, not just love, and don't wait for your partner to make a move.
Your weight has really not much to do here, we women have a bad selfimage of ourselves, remember their brain don't work well while they are aroused, so it unlikely he is looking for celulite while you are doing a streap tease for him LOL
Good luck and open your mind about sex , onto closed doors sex partners can plase themselves any way the feel as long as the both agree.

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