distractions at work..

well..there was this one girl at work I was crushing on for a week or so.I noticed her reacting to my presence;blushing,coyness,nervousness and I took a liking to her though not too terribly direct though I have asked her her named and exchanged looks every so often.As the days go by the more and more I find myself thinking of her and romanticizing ..that usually means trouble is imminent. Anyways,every time she is near I feel this overwhelming feeling of excitement mixed with enticement and a little bit of anger..I don't know why,I think I am blaming her for making me feel this way..feeling 'anything' for her when I chose NOT to and rather focus on my work..it makes me hot it makes me sweaty it makes my senses overwhelmed..the funny thing is I can define her scent even stronger with my sense of smell during this state...

she smells like flowers lol...sweet blossoming flowers.I find myself fanning my paper work to cool myself off only to be further enchanted by her scent,only to try to drown it out even more and block out any interest I may be feeling..while in an intense frenzy of hyper focus and trying hard to 'ignore her' and block her out,I turned around as she was bringing up her hair, we locked eyes..my heart skipped a beat and I was like..'great'..just what I need..more distractions

*mad face*
/:

She is as beautiful as so as I am broken..I would only hurt her and destroy all that it right about her,the black hole that is my soul will only swallow her up and envelop her..and she would allow it if she was close enough.She is one of many..the lucky ones I let go of and not even bother with..my feelings betray me because my feelings are also what entrap me...
):

maybe I should ask her out..before dinner I'll just grab her ass so she can slap me and get it over with,if I am lucky she'll kick me in the balls- it's okay..most action I had all week.Then I will be like 'told ya so' and be done with it..I'd rather get rejected and be over it then having to think about the her and her sweet blossoming flowerish smell of hers...over and over again.

bah..I am over her.I'll just make mad faces at her when she smiles at me..that should get rid of her..if not I'll just beat my chest and make ape like noises.

she sure is beautiful though,wonder what the heck she even sees or notices in me...
heck if I know...

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