Hi, Neomi! You got some good answers,already...
"clingy" can also be a label given by someone who is afraid of intimacy, who remains aloof to avoid the pain that will want to free itself when love arises (just another perspective)
Dependency versus independence, that's a very ancient struggle: none of these attitudes breed healthy relationship.
From experience, I would say: don't try not to be clingy (if you recognize that you are), that won't help at all! Rather, it will turn into another manipulation to please the other, not to lose him or her.
I have suffered from aloofness and from "clinginess" both. Ultimately, they are both immature: we need two wings to fly, two legs to walk...
The way out of this gooey, dichotomous way to relate is not through repression. First, one needs to see oneself just the way one is (not how we would like or think we should be or not be). That requires ruthless compassion towards oneself, to be honest.
Actually, the way out is through the agony of neediness (which has nothing to do with anybody else) and own the responsibility for it. Aloofness is further away from the exit!
If you don't try to avoid the pain (hurts more!), you will see that it just wants to be released and leave you, forever!
and yes, it is absolutely true that clinging is a way to avoid our own emptiness; by avoiding it, we miss the peace, the silence and contentment of aloneness: whenever you are truly alone (not lonely!), your relating will be enriching, a true sharing;
welcome and "welgone"!
But first thing first: where are you now?
I wish you the best of luck on this journey, the most arduous one, I believe, except raising children! (although the same laws apply: most of us have children to avoid ...the void!)
Alert Webmaster & Moderators|
Attributes associated with this message:
Shambhu will be notified if you reply to this message!
You can PM Shambhu email Shambhu
|DISCLAIMER Information available on this page and on CureZone is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for the advice provided by a healthcare professional or any information contained on or in any product label or packaging. You should not use the information on CureZone for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing any medication or other treatment. Answers, comments and opinions provided on CureZone are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. CureZone does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in messages, comments or articles on CureZone. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms and those published here. Read more ...|