Re: Really needing support and understanding on this relationship

Heather,

It sounds like you are in a co-dependant relationship, where the other person provides something needed. But, it prevents you from being able to grow as a person. Relationships can be a crutch as well as a security blanket.

I was married to a lady for 11 years, who was molested by her brother in law for 14 years. I experienced the dysfunctional relationship which results from not getting help to address such trematic issues. In the end it can greatly affect both people in the relationship. If children are born into the relationship, it affects them too. The affection aspect comes into play heavily. I realized this after our divorce. One time I came to pick the children up. One of our girls had upset their mother. She was trying to give her Mom a hug as she left. Mom just stood there with her arms crossed across her chest. It was then I realized how much their mom not getting help was affecting our children.

I would encourage you both to see a very good counselor. Burying it in a corner only contains it. It doesn't go away. It festers and poisons your very soul. There is a subconscious communication network in each of us which knows everything going on throughout our bodies, including our brain and it's memory banks. Each of the cells in our body has memory. Emotions are communications or manifestations of underlying physiological conditions, including the brain and it's memory banks. They are all interconnected, affecting each other, and our health.

The Mind/Body connection is very strong and important. When I talk about the Mind, I seperate it from the physical brain. To me the Mind is a combination of our conscious self, our subconscious communication network and all it's sensory mechanisms, our soul, and our connection to the various spiritual energies available to us throughout the universe. This can include God, meditation, angels, spiritual guides and any other discipline which connects and aligns us with the energies around us. When you look at a beautiful mountain stream, snow covered mountain, or ocean waves rolling in it makes you feel good. That is energy you can absorb.

All this working together is the Mind. And it has everything to do with the condition of each component. Dr. Emoto found a way to photograph the crystals in water. He discovered that the crystal structure of water could actually be altered by prayer, meditation, mucis, words and even thoughts. They could change the crystal structure from no crystals to beautiful crystals. Crystals appear to be storage containers for energy. The quartz crystals absorb energy and then release it in watches one precise second at a time. There is an Australian crystal which can absorb a laser beam, hold it, and then release it a split second later. They want to use them in quantum computers. Our bodies are 60-90% water. So the enery we absorb and retain inside us has a direct affect on our health. The traumas of our past can greatly affect our very health if we don't release them from our minds. Easy to say, hard to do. A GOOD counselor helps.

I wanted to address the anger aspect and the hitting. There is a possible aspect of this which is not known to the general public yet. For the past seven years I have been doing extensive research on how toxic molds affect the human body. They damage the brain and the central nervous system. I believe one way they do this is by destroying the connections between the 'fight or flight' section of the brain, and the calm reasoning section of the brain. So, essentially the person gets stuck in the 'fight or flight' stage. Since the connections to the calm, reasoning section of the brain are greatly diminished, it is difficult and slow to get to the a calm, reasoning state of mind after a confrontation, argument, etc.

The research was done at the National Institute of Health by Doctor Brown on why alcoholics are involved with domestic violence. I extrapolated it to people who have had toxic mold exposures, and why they end up with heightened irritability, family disruption, domestic abuse and violence.  Drinking alcohol is essentially drinking a glass of toxic mold, giving you the high. Grains and fruits are aged, molded, fermented into beers and wines. If you have alcoholic parents all this can be passed on to the child to one degree or another. Then add in the trauma of rape.... Feel free to email me.

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