10-Day Fast!

HI, I am desperate to fast to rout my candida/other bacterial intestinal overgrowth. I have needed to do this for about 30 years -- since I was 10. I have had a horrible life because of this disease. I have adhered to an all-raw diet 2 years straight now and have fasted weekly for a couple of years as well -- which has just barely kept me functioning. Hell, I can't even claim to function. Depression, lethargy, the entire list of symptoms. Brain fog. Anxiety. I know a good fast of several days would do something powerful to clear me up. In the future, for my life, I need to be a person who fasts at least 10 days, 4 times a year. (Ugh. the thought of it. But I can get used to it.. I can get used to anything... but I need support, which is why I am writing).

In my healing process I need to go through an initial phase of significant long healing fasts. I have not so far in my life been able to rouse myself/support myself/conquer my depression/get the courage/support to do it. It is an incredibly "sober" act. Oh, God, to go without my drug of choice, food, which makes everything bearable. Life is so unbearable without it. It's almost unthinkable. I need to call on all my spirituality to do it -- that part of my spirituality the disease has not totally robbed me of. Actually, it just takes a little self-convincing, but I really am pretty able to endure the idea of fasting, of this sobriety. The trouble comes about 2 days -- 48 hours -- into a fast, when "life just seems too unbearable" to go on without getting a "fix" of food. I need help to plan for and anticipate this trouble time and any other trouble times. i need help to get positive about fasting and willing to do it.

Now have a tiny bit of real-life (i.e., non-Internet) support (just asking successfully, convincingly, for this takes huge courage and motivation and huge "sobriety"/surrender to really getting well, dropping the food addiction... SO HARD... but I did do it...) ... I have had a surge of motivation. And I just really learned about Candida, and all the common intestinal illnesses, diverticulitis etc., and this increased my conviction of my need to fast and my willingness to do it (it's a simple matter of my health! Of my body NEEDING to be cured of a very serious infection!)

On this surge of motivation I tried to take a 10-day fast but lost the attempt 48 hours into it -- last night. I had told a couple of "real-life" people about my great inner surge of strength and my hope to fast 10 days and really make a difference to my health. I am very sad that these people could not really make a difference in my attempt to do this. I may need someone who has actually been cured of Candida by fasting (I myself have experienced, once, a period of relief from it as the result of a 3-day fast... I felt relief for about 6 hours, that is, until I started to eat again. Those 6 hours of health and strength and peace are 6 hours I will never forget and I want them back and I should be able to get them back and live that way for life!) Please, if you would, support me in my attempt.

I am starting either today, Sunday, May 2, or tomorrow, Monday, May 3, after a last meal which I will keep moderate in size and "anti-Candida diet-" compliant. I will fast from May 2 or 3 (Sun/Mon) until Wednesday/thursday, May 12/13.

My addiction has been to overeat... though I have white-knuckle-controlled my weight for 14 years now... white-knuckle because I have never had the will to REALLY clean up my diet taking out ALL even SLIGHTLY triggering foods ( I recognize i will have to do this now following this fast but I am prepared), and mostly because I never had the power to stay on a fast long enough to kill off the yeast /bacteria -- so I have remained compulsed to eat/food addicted... even while suffering horribly from bloating/gas/belly like a beach ball, and being very thin...

important note: it is absolutely vitally important to me NOT to pathologize the thinness or be scared by it... especially I need NOT to be scared to fast as I must for my dignity, for my empowerment, for my health... thinness, it is important to me to assert, is NOT per se dangerous... people who are freaked out by it are freaked out by it because they are ruled by their candida/bacteria and their bacteria are in a way "scared" of their being cured, [since this would mean death to the bacteria]. These people, via their bacteria, it seems to me, are scared by the vision of a thin person because they [those freaked out by thinness] have poor boundaries and think that what one person looks like THEY have to look like i.e. THEY think that just because someone in their immediate environment is thin THEY have to stop THEIR overeating, so their bacteria/candida which rule THEM get threatened so they [the freaked-out-by-thinness ones] react in a hostile way to thinness in another person... in their fear, generated by their bacteria which "fear" being killed by fasting, they invent scary mythologies about thinness... convincing themselves that thinness precludes fasting and is in some sense even inherently "Dangerous"... CRAZY and SO CONTROLLING... see various natural hygienists for validation of fasting as a cure for thin persons as well as overweight...anyway I myself am so sensitive to all their (the "fearful fatties'") garbage since I myself, being overrun bacterially, have poor boundaries, too [the bacterial/candida overgrowth condition is in many senses a disease of "poor boundaries," and from what I have observed, the poor physical boundaries [leaky gut, for instance; also, inability to stop eating when eating is not ok with you] are reflected in poor psychic boundaries [being very controlling of others, feeling the feelings of others, being "codependent," being "alarmed for others" a lot, that sort of presumptuousness/disrespect/infantilization of other people... anyway, I am very harmed by it and not interested in it, so if you've got some, keep it TO YOURSELF, PLEASE. This, my need to fast, is first of all valid just because I say it is, and it's MY body; and second is a matter of my basic wellness and even survival]

anyway, the point is you are requested NOT to write back pathologizing my thinness or sending what I so tiresomely and very damagingly receive, stupid fear-based "warnings--" really, messages from YOUR wellness-fearing intestine-infesting bacteria-- about my thinness. In the FIRST PLACE FAsting is MY choice and deserves RESPECT-- so do NOT write about my thinness, please. I am in a desperate state of health and NEED TO FAST TO GET WELL...

....NOT down quantities of antimicrobial medicines OR herbs, which ALWAYS stop working,

... NOT "juice fast," -- a recipe for disaster,

...NOT ingest calories!!! which ONLY FEED THE DISEASE,

.... BUT.... SIMPLY .... FAST.

I don't like having to do it, but this will change. i know I can learn to love fasting and wellness and sobriety.

What I would REALLY LIKE is a lot of positivity about fasting and the food-sober way of life -- messages that I CAN go without the "fix" of food, really go without it until I stop needing it as a fix. My health demands that I get out of the state of needing food as a fix. It has become that serious for me...

Again, please write with support of me to kill this candida/bacteria with a ten-day fast!!

By the way, can anyone give me very explicit tips on doing the Salt Water Flush? This is the one "aggressive" thing I feel would actually help in my process, but I have never attempted it. I do know to wait until I have fasted about 24 hours... has anyone been scared to do it and then learned in spite of the fear?

Sincerely,
L.

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