A Dilemma

My 20-year-old son has been involved in a very sick relationship with a controlling, jealous, vile-tempered nut for about 2 years. I tried very hard for the first year to tolerate her, and managed to be nice and civil to her. About a year ago, though, he came to spend Thanksgiving at the beach with us (me, his sis, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma, etc.) and this little witch called and texted him non-stop, begging, pleading, and nagging him to leave so he could be with her. She does not want him to spend ANY time with ANYONE else, not even his family, not even on a holiday. I wrote him an e-mail after the weekend expressing my concerns about his relationship. Turns out, she had access to his e-mail, read my message and actually replied to me calling me every name in the book, including b***h and c**t. Over the last few months, things have just gone from bad to worse. She has written me several other nasty, horrific messages, pretended to be pregnant, made all sorts of threats, etc. My son's friends won't have anything to do with her, so naturally he does not see them anymore. My son's dad has heard her screaming at him on the phone; so has my daughter. The girl is a lunatic.

I have gotten to the point where I almost want nothing more to do with my son. I have been paying for his Cell Phone , but am thinking I should just stop. This involvement of his has poisoned my relationship with him. I no longer trust him or believe a word he says. I don't have a very high opinion of him anymore, and on the few occasions I see him, I just can't help but think of how he stays with a girl who has been vile and disgusting towards his mother. I am so very angry at him that he did nothing to defend me. I told him that I only wish she had said all of it to my face because I would have broken her f**king jaw; and I would have, too!!!! I know, in my heart, that my son has serious mental/emotional issues to be involved with someone so crazy and it breaks my heart. I just don't think I can help him because I've tried everything I could think of and nothing works. It has caused me sleepless nights and headaches, and I just don't even want to be around it anymore. And, to make it even more worrisome, I'm pretty certain that the main reasons he wants to "hang out" with her at her place is because ... surprise ... she always has booze and pot! I see my son heading in a very bad direction and feel that I've reached the end of my rope in dealing with him.

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