Re: Help, Please!

I apologize for the length of my response, in advance.

You've listed a host of personal physical symptoms that are a direct result of emotional/physical abuse.  Additionally, every member of your household is apparently exhibiting symptoms of emotional/physical abuse.  Your mother, for instance, has endured years and years of abuse that you can't even imagine, and her body must manifest that emotional abuse in the form of an auto-immune disorder - VERY common for victims of domestic violence and abuse.  What I don't understand is your statement:  "...my little brother has acne and pretended to be ill for 5 years but was never really punished for it."  Why does your little brother deserve to be "punished" for reacting to his environment when you deserve to heal and experience support?  The abuse that exists within your family dynamics effects every immediate member, as well as those who are on the periphery of your immediate family.  The abuse is rampant and it is going to harm EACH of you, as individuals, and not one of you will manifest your individual victimization the same.

Adjusting your dietary needs will definitely prove helpful in your evolution from victim to Survivor, but the emotional Self (Self = that part of you which makes you unique) needs healing much more than the physical, at this point.  Familiarity with personality tests, etc., is dandy but it's not a substitute for some very hard. grueling, and courageous emotional work that's going to place your feet firmly onto your own Healing Path.  I would strongly recommend individual counseling with someone who is familiar with PSTD and domestic violence/abuse.  Most counselors/therapists can work on a sliding scale and to find such a counselor, call your local mental-health hotline.  May I just say how much I DETEST that reference of "mental health???"  EMOTIONAL health hotline should be the right definition!  LOL  At any rate, tell the intake person that you require someone who is familiar with domestic violence/abuse and PSTD, and that's the first (and, hardest) step towards total mind/body health.  

Why is counseling/therapy so important to Surviving domestic violence/abuse?  As I mentioned above, any human being who is enduring abuse or violence of ANY kind is absorbing all of that negativity.  The mind does not have a physiology, per se, and vice versa, but the two work in tandem to carry life throughout the whole organism  Therefore, if the mind is not at ease, the body must manifest that dis-ease in a physical form, and it's usually in the form of an auto-immune disorder for women.  AND - the most important reason for attending to emotional healing is so that we, who were groomed to be victims or abusers, BREAK THE CYCLE.  Victims of abuse either remain victims or de-evolve into abusers, themselves, if they don't attend to their emotional healing.

With regard to your feeling as if you're still being abused, you ARE still being abused, whether you experience it on a daily basis, or you're living on your own.  Abuse does not end just because we leave the immediate environment which is another excellent reason to become involved in counseling/therapy.  There are methods and techniques to disallow abuse, as well as develop strong, healthy boundaries and healthy self-esteem.  However, open public discussion forums are not the venue to facilitate the type of work that you may want to engage in.  Reading books, talking to other Survivors, etc., is all helpful, but true emotional  healing requires a serious commitment, and that commitment is addressed by working it out every week (or, every other week) with an objective human being who is well-versed in the nuances of abuse Survival.

My best wishes to you, and I hope to see you back on this board in 6 months to announce that you've had personal epiphanies and positive breakthroughs!  BRIGHTEST blessings!

Alert Webmaster & Moderators