Re: thinking of remembering of child sexua| abuse

first off i am 16 and no its not the weed thats making me feel this way. I just want to let you know i now am remembering thoughts deep in my child hood that i am now almost sure i was sexually abused by someone. becuaese i remember being so happy and my own self like a man like i was something and i was a diffeerent person. i remember i was probably around 6 to 8 or so wen i all the sudden was really freaked out by my self or my body and just being in shock for a moments of my life and jsut changing my whole self from that point on and just never having my own thoughts and being really scared of the world like i need to get out here but its like everywhere i go its there and i could never take it back. i remember not having my own identity and just feeling guilty and something bad about my body but i cant pin point it. it was something that was so dark and horrifying like the whole universe just collapsed on me . but i just cant grasp it and i just remember my whole perception of the world changing in the blink of my eye. and me just being so below everyone and just feeling so not like everyone else and being so terrified of new situations and after awhile i remember telling my self that i kept becoming more numb. and now wen ever i looked or look at something just wanting to be there and not here its wierd like i need to run away. ive never felt connected to my family or to anything like im sleeping but just in auto pilot

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