Re: 9 months in and things are getting worse and worse. i want to give up. it was a mistake to have carried on...

I am so sorry that this crime happened to you. Everything you're feeling is normal and CAN be managed. Please, do not take my CAPS as screaming - they are for emphasis, only.

Your friends know about the crime from what you've posted. Have you told your mother? Regardless of the circumstances, you are the victim of a crime. You may want to think about filing a criminal report - just because 9 months have passed does not mean that it's too late, depending upon where you live.

I would strongly urge you to contact your local rape hotline. They can help you come to terms with what was done to you, help you to file charges and follow through so this slimeball doesn't hurt someone else, and get you involved in FREE victims' counseling so that you can learn how to trust, again, and understand that all men aren't out to do harm.

I would also suggest that you try to forgive your friends - they aren't living in your skin and they haven't been the victim of what you experienced. They are just immature and don't understand what it feels like to be victimized.

I know that giving up seems like your only choice, but you CAN make it through this. There are resources available to you - use them and get started on your healing path.

Brightest healing blessings to you.

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