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- Does moving away help when there are bad memories?
by BlueRose
14 mon
1,910
Relationship
/ Law of Att
/ Abuse Phys
- Re: Does moving away help when there are bad memories?
by #136970
14 mon
1,770
- It depends....
by SoulfulSurvivor
14 mon
1,789
Hugs, Blue Rose!
I personally don't feel that relocating is a bad idea or an avoidance of living and healing. Sometimes, our experiences create such a deep scar that certain triggers slice open the healing and pour salt on the open wound, so to speak.
In my case, leaving places behind that have been the source of intense emotional trauma has been cathartic on many levels. One of the greatest things that my counseling therapist has told me, over and over, is that "feelings are not facts." How I feel about something is valid, but those feelings aren't always based upon facts. In your situation, your feelings are based upon the choices that your daughter made and the trauma that her choices inflicted upon you, as well as herself. When you see places where you know that things happened, of course it's going to trigger many, many emotions.
Relocating, in some people's views, may be an attempt to run from a situation. Other people may view relocation as an opportunity to start over. It depends entirely upon what the motivations are. For me, relocating from a remote, isolated dwelling into a shared communal situation got me OUT of the four walls where my ex's double-life and myriad betrayals took place and INTO an environment of community, safety, and encouragement.
I would suggest that you consider your motivations, Blue Rose. The one and only thing over which we have control is our Self. If the burden of your daughter's choices and actions is too much to bear, then relocating and leaving behind the triggers may be an option.
Brightest healing blessings to you, Blue Rose - you've been SUCH a source of encouragement and support to me in these past few months. Now, I offer virtual hugs and sincere love to you in this difficult time of reckoning.


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