Re: Don't know how to deal with memory

You didn't mention how old you are, now, or any particulars about what you're doing, where you're working, etc., so this is going to be a really general response.  Counseling therapy.  For whatever reason, you began experiencing teenaged depression (so it sounds) and many things occurred that could have exacerbated the depression. 

Just because your father didn't say anything to you about your physical reaction does not, under any circumstance, point to guilt of attempted molestation.  There may be several ways to sort this out, but I would strongly urge you to consider talking to someone who is trained in this area and can hear your words and help you to decipher your experiences. 

To clarify counseling therapy:  making the choice to speak to someone does not mean that there is "something wrong" with us.  It means that we have agreed that we do not have all of the answers and have made the prudent decision to consult with someone who might have more information and tools than we do.  If your plumbing is damaged, you call a plumber.  If your pet is sick, you take it to a veterninarian.  If your car engine needs repair, you take it to a mechanic.  If we have emotional issues that we cannot sort out, we go to a professional for assistance.

Best wishes to you

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