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Depression Alternatives Support Addiction: Drug Diet & Nutrition
Re: Too overwhelmed to fight illness
PM CatherineF email CatherineF
Date: 7/27/2012 1:33:19 PM ( 11 mon ago )
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Do you already know whether you have cancer or something else?
I would like to say that I really know how you feel. I am 23 YO and feel worse than some 80 and up YO. SERIOUSLY! I am suffering from severe adrenal exhaustion, TMJ (I can't chew food, I am eating lots of soups, purees, creams etc like an old woman!!!), constant brain fog, TERRIBLE Fatigue, sleep apnea, celiac and many other health problems. It is so overwhelming that sometimes I am considering suicide. I am not going to doctors, taking medical exams. I don't want to know how broken my body is. Sticking to a healthy diet, doing many things for health, resting, avoiding many things, living with many many boundries I was never used to. It is all very hard. But possible and worth it! Life is all we have and we need to fight. I don't know whether you believe in the afterlife, I don't but I do believe that life is a treasure and it needs to be protected by hook or by crook. I have moments of doubt, when I want to give it all up, but my will of life is still quite strong (but not as strong it was before).
Maybe my situation is better, I have family (but they don't understand me and think I am lazy, hipochondriac etc), friends (though I don't have energy to spend so much time with them I used to in the past), I have money FROM MY PARENTS only and this is awful to be so dependent (I hate it, but I can't get a job yet), I don't drink because it is unbearable how I feel after (totally wrecked), I have a wonderful dog I LOVE. But I don't have a job, my own money, I am not inependent, I don't have boyfriend and many things I would have if only I was healthy... What is more I have to sleep with a mask for the rest of my life, I have to get jaw surgery because of my TMJ (which is harmful in some ways for the body - metal screws etc, but it helps with TMJ only), I have legs full of stretch marks and despite having perfect body shape it really defaces me :( And so on.
But regardless of all of it I want to live! I will never give up, and if I must end up death sooner than others fine, but I will fight! "You can build walls all the way to the sky and I will find a way to fly above them. You can try to pin me down with a hundred thousand arms, but I will find a way to resist." Where is life there is an ability to DO SOMETHING about our situation. I wish all the best, keep on fighting and don't give up. It is not a commonplace, it is true.
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This message was cross-posted across the next forums: 1. Depression Forum
2. Addiction: Drug Forum
3. Diet & Nutrition Forum
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