Re: ReJohn Cullison

*snicker*

Well, trolls, you see, take a liking to focused pathways, such as narrow passages, mountain trails, and especially bridges. Any place where a troll can set up shop and dictate terms to weary travelers should be regarded with caution.

Sometimes, the troll will let you pass for a price. Other times, the troll only likes to let certain people or kinds of people pass. Some trolls, however, seem to change their minds periodically or even seemingly chaotically. One minute, your kind is acceptable, and the next, you're forbidden; or one minute, the price is a meat pie, and the next, it's your first born child.

Trollogists generally believe that trolls exhibit this behavior due to an overwhelming need for a sense of order in their lives -- order which they themselves must put there. The overriding concern for maintaining the order so devised far outweighs, in the troll's mind, any of the frivolous, capricious, or trivial desires of other sentients and pseudo-sentients. What the order actually is -- the rules that the troll devises -- are generally of no consequence to the troll, nor, for that matter, terribly well thought out; merely, the troll has decided upon some course of action and carrying through on that decision is of paramount importance.

Malice is not usually the intent of trolls, although it frequently appears so to non-trolls. The key to successful interaction with a troll, therefore, is to work with the troll's decisions, rather than against them. This usually requires much patience, since it can take a great deal of time to determine what rules the troll has decided to enforce.

Fringe trollogists have their own pet theories, of course, but few take them very seriously. Upon examing the work of these fringe trollogists, it is evident that none of them has ever actually seen a live troll in the flesh -- and certainly never attempted to converse with one -- and so all of their complicated theories should be regarded as mere speculation.

Trolls are a fascinating subject, and I hope you have found this brief treatise of some use.

Yours truly,

=-John-=

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