I know, i'm stupid, but i can't help it

Ok, so now i'm talking to him outside of work again, and i'm going over to his house again. But i'm not going to sleep with him, no matter how much he wants me to. We had a little talk to other day, and he said that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, and he's got too much on his mind as it is. He said that it would always be a possibility for us to get back together, but now is not the time. He said that if there was any chance for us to get back together again, we would have to learn how to be friends first. So i'm going to put my all into being his friend. I know that the best thing for me would be to stay my ass away from him, but with our work situation, it isn't possible. I know i could stop myself from calling him, but i can't do anything about the fact that i see him at work all of the time. I just can't say hi and keep walking. I can't ignore him. I can't be mean to him. I see him, and i want to talk to him. I think my main problem is that i want him in my life, no matter what he is to me. I just want to see him and talk to him. 5 years with someone is a very long time, and i don't want to push him completely out of my life. I haven't told him that i would want to get back together, and i won't put myself through that heartache. But i'm sick of playing games, and i'm obviously losing. So i'm guess i'm going to be the best friend to him that i possibly can, and if anything comes of it, so be it. And i won't close my eyes to all the other guys out there. i'm sick of hoping and wishing that he will change his mind. So i will just let it be, and let what is meant to be happen.

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