Re: It's getting too much

Someone on curezone gave this to me.

The Fertile Dark
When the Tide Withdraws

Even the most profoundly committed spiritual seeker will experience ‘slumps’... times when, despite all efforts, the connection to a deeper spiritual reality seems remote and inaccessible. This is sometimes referred to as “The dark night of the soul.” What follows is a piece written from that place.

I dwell in the fertile darkness. External cares recede within. Routine breaks down. The tide of the Spirit ebbs. Focus falters under the weight of the veil of night. There is no trail of seeds to lay behind me as I enter the dark, to help me find my way back. Thoughts disconnect and abstract themselves to meaningless urges that scatter the seeds of reason. Motivation slides away, slipping into the stillness. I’m left with the utter silence that arises from the dark night of the soul.

Although the sense of disconnection is worn like a cloak, swaddling and obscuring the light, this is the space from which all connection grows. I rest gently within my darkness, patiently. Rage and despair are useless here. This is the fertile dark; the compost of the Spirit, where all aspects of my constructed self dissolves. Emotions, logic, behavior, all recede into this place where they are broken down and transformed into the material that will nourish my new growth.

Impatience is futile. The darkness knows its work and scope. It has no concern for my limited view of when I should emerge.

I slip into the fertile darkness quietly, unannounced, unprepared. All that I am, all that I bring with me, will be stripped away and transformed. My hope and strength, as well as my fear and weakness. All is absorbed into the cycle of decay and nourishment. All returns to the fertile darkness.

There is but one steady rock to stand on; one tenacious thought to cling to; I shall emerge with greater depth and promise, nourished and renewed. I dwell in the fertile darkness, so that I may be reborn.


~Flame RavenHawk

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