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Expanded All Messages [205] , Sorted by Value Source: Ask Melissa: Tantra, and Relationship Coaching

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  • Boyfriend with low sex drive   by hockey1981  7y   2,819
     
    HELP!! I dont know what to do...he is one of those rare breeds that doesnt have much of a sex drive... I dont know what to do!!!! I am a VERY sexual person..... He is the perfect guy, my dream guy, except for that.... ... ... HELP!!   [End]
     
  • Re: sexua| problems   by marylovesgray  4y   1,383
     
    thats horrible.. ... ... ever after my pregnancy my breasts have been sagging.. do your think triactol bust serum would work? ... ... iím too insecure to have sex because my breasts look aweful after the twins :( ... ... please help us   [End]
     
  • Re: stretch vagina   by student98  5y   2,536
     
    Google Kegle exercises and do those to maintain the tone of your vaginal muscles   [End]
     
  • desire to increase overall energy level   by SECRET AGENT MAN  6y   1,176
     
    hello Melissa and to anyone else in this forum. I donít have any problems with libido or impotence, but I do have chronic fatigue, and recently I switched over to an alkaline diet and am drinking an alkaline drink with blackstrap molasses mentioned in the moreless ph acid alkaline forum (is it ok to mention that?) which has tremendously helped (I truly believe that any disease or problem with the body simply means that an individual is out of balance, and one of the main ways to stay in balance is to have an alkaline ph close between 7 and 7.5). ... However, I still am interested in general w ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Sexual problems   by lesbianaj  6y   1,574
     
    Hi im starting to have a problem me and my girl didnt peform oral sex on me for a month and when she did I had an orgasim but after that I havenít had one and she turns me on and is not doing anything wrong but I would like to know why im not orasgiming like I use to it happen a few times after the month and im concorned can u help me thank you or wait another thing she does turn me on and im really inlove   [End]
     
  • Re: vaginal orgasms?   by #105973  6y   1,681
     
    Hi, ... Vaginal orgasms are possi   [End]
     
  • lust or love?   by grimzy89  6y   874
     
    i need hlp i lust my aunty!!! she is 3 years older than me, she too lusts me. we have a mutural understandin of it but never speak of it. how will i go about dealing wit dis issue. ps i wish to pusue her   [End]
     
  • Re: peeling lips after a kiss. or jus a coincidence?   by montrealhomegrown  6y   1,858
     
    seems like exfoliative cheilitis, you should join us in the peeling lips forum. ... ... -MtL   [End]
     
  • Re: Tantra Sessions   by #99554  6y   2,312
     
    Hi, You have rightly described what goes in the practice of tantra. However, their appears to be some misapprehension about íTantraí in the western world. The real word is íVighyan Bhairavi Tantraí - literally translated, ítechniques for going beyond conciousnessí. I would be happy to give you more insight into the subject, if you are interested.   [End]
     
  • Re: peeling lips after a kiss. or jus a coincidence?   by askmelissa  6y   2,081
     
    Glad that you were checked for oral herpes. Yes, nutritional deficiencies could manifest in that way, and alcohol can aggravate certain symptoms. Stomach acid from bulimic purging can also create inflammation in the mouth. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: peeling lips after a kiss. or jus a coincidence?   by #97961  6y   1,819
     
    iíve consulted many doctors and they said its not oral herpes. ... i had bulimia before last year, could it be caused by insuffient nutrients etc and the alcohol made it come out this way? ... ... thanks for e reply.   [End]
     
  • Re: peeling lips after a kiss. or jus a coincidence?   by askmelissa  6y   1,912
     
    I donít think alcohol would cause that kind of reaction, but you should have a doctor look at it. Sometime oral herpes can appear the way you described, and a trained health professional would be able to identify what it is and the possible causes. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: is it me?   by #48688  6y   1,636
     
    Sounds like the guy you have now is a step above the other ones you had earlier. ... All the erotic stuff you were describing goes along with a superficial relationship.   [End]
     
  • jus a coincidence?   by #97961  6y   1,852
     
    hi melissa and all, ... ... a few months ago, while drinkin alcohol in a club, my boyfriend french kissed me, and i had a cut in my mouth. ... and two weeks after the kiss, i had diarrhoea and my lips started to peel. ... it gets white in contact with water, and now it start to harden and peel every few days. ... he smokes alot and might be sexually active. ... my lips still peeling bad, i would like to ask if this could be a reaction due to the kiss? ... or because of alcohol i drank? ... cause i seldom drink alot, only that night.. ... ... im feelin depressed and regret my actions. its hard for a girl.. ... thanks for ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: is it me?   by askmelissa  6y   1,741
     
    Iím not promoting any particular sex acts, but rather looking at what is driving sexual behavior. I have worked with women who enjoy having men ejaculate on various parts of their bodies, and I donít label that porn. Eroticism is a very individual thing, and I focus on exploring the heart connection between lovers during any sex act. If itís not heart-based, itís a form of objectification. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: is it me?   by #99262  6y   1,728
     
    Cassie, ... When i was with women I loved, i wanted to feel close to them when we made love. call it insecurity or sexual shame, or whatever, but cumming on her face? i mean, how can i.... feel closer to her by cumming on her. It would make me feel like shit to do it, even if in some strange way its attractive. you know, i didnt even know this was attractive until this year, it seems in porn thats the most popular thing. But porn is not about love, its kind of about self abuse through sex, if you think about it. It sounds like he is a tender guy, maybe not as aggressive in the sack as y ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: is it me?   by askmelissa  6y   1,719
     
    It sounds like heís dealing with some sexual shame. None of the behaviors you mentioned donít have a degrading quality to them. He may have some strong programming around sex from his upbringing. Do you know what his religious background is? That often has an important influence. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: is it me?   by cassiopeia  6y   1,792
     
    Thank you for your answer, but I donít think he has an active fantasy life either...the ĒdegradingĒ behavior we were referring to was that I wanted him to hold my head during oral sex--be a little more aggressive. i also wanted him to ejaculate on me...so maybe I have the problem? He didnít bring these things up...I did--but he admitted that the latter turned him on, but he just didnít feel right doing it to me. So...I guess Iím still confused....   [End]
     
  • Re: is it me?   by askmelissa  6y   1,760
     
    I donít think the issue has anything to do with your attractiveness, but I can understand why you might think so. When men have a low libido with their partner but are engaged in an active fantasy life that involves degrading behavior, they may be suffering from a sexual addiction. The number of men who have this condition is staggering, and I believe it is a symptom of the sexual objectification of women in our culture. You might want to look at the book ĒSexual AnorexiaĒ by Patrick Carnes and see if any of the patterns he describes fit your boyfriendís behavior. Also consider having a fr ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • is it me?   by #88160  6y   1,966
     
    Hi Melissa. I assume youíve heard it all so perhaps you could help me out? ... ... I have been dating someone for a year, and weíre both definitely attracted to eachother. He remarks on my appearance all the time and is clearly aroused when we are kissing, hugging, etc. He always achieves an erection and orgasm when we do hook up. However, Iím confused...because in past relationships Iíve had guys who were very ĒsexualĒ sent me erotic text messages, asked for naked pictures, would tell me they couldnít wait to get home so they ĒbleepĒ me, were all over me all the time. Now, admittedly, this ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re:   by UserX  6y   1,964
     
    premature ejaculation is godís way of saying: ĒI donít want that thing in there when it goes offĒ. ... ... just another way nature prevents particular pregnancies, and no doubt for a good reason, probably relating to either the physical or mental health of the ejaculator. ... ... Hell, Iíve had more stress than anybody on this planet, and I never had any premature ejaculation stuff, so I donít buy the ĒstressĒ argument. ... ... The casue arises from an oversensitivity issue, from to an excess of free nitric oxide receptors. The condition may be corrected in many cases by the person ingesting daily reas ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • how to stop premature ejaculation   by yoav  6y   2,416
     
    the number one cause for premature ejaculation is stress, but there are number of factores that if combined may increase the problem. ... the steps that you should take in order to stop premature ejaculation are related exactly to that issue: ... do some yoga, jog , talk to your partner what ever you need to reduce your stress is good enough. ... †i have written a long article in my blog on premature ejaculation that has great tips†you are welcomed to read it: ... http://stopprematurejaculation.blogspot.com/†† ... good luck ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Hirsutism   by askmelissa  6y   1,732
     
    Sorry I donít have the answer to that question. That is not my area of expertise. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Hirsutism   by #86303  6y   1,999
     
    Do you know if hirsutic hairs just fall out once one has cured oneself of the condition, or do you have to get rid of the existing stuff, which subsequently just does not grow back?   [End]
     
  • Re: Sex, Jealousy, and Healing/Clarity   by askmelissa  6y   1,790
     
    It sounds like your girlfriend is being unreasonable since you did ask your roommate to move out. Have you experienced frequent  episodes of this magnitude of jealousy in the relationship? ... ... ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Sex, Jealousy, and Healing/Clarity   by regener8  6y   1,947
     
    Hi, ... My girlfriend recently got extremely jealous when I had a female roommate move in. There seemed no alternative but to ask the new roommate to relocate. I was not attracted to her at all, and she seemed to be the type of person that would work well as a roommate and possibly even as a friend to my girlfriend. I was really challenged about having to ask the roommate to move, though we all moved past it. The roommate while living in my house repaired a bed comforter by hand with her sewing kit. This having been discovered by my girlfriend made her furious and recreated the jealousy agai ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Relationship trust issues   by AskMelissa  6y   1,645
     
    The issues I was referring involve a general fear of intimacy, manifesting as not communicating with you directly and having flirtatious email exchanges with another woman. I wouldnít be able to tell you the root cause of his fear without working with him.  ... ... ... ... I donít think going to counseling is inappropriate for your age. As far as Iím concerned, itís never too early to learn good relationship skills. ... ... ... ... All relationships take a certain amount of work. It becomes too much work when both partners arenít equally committed to healing the relationship, That is my concern in yo ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Why is this?   by levelear  6y   1,713
     
    hello, ... ... it was rather interesting to read your post about pros and cons, because it i think it really highlights the way that men and women think about swallowing. from the sound of it (and this isnít necessarily true), my guess is that it IS about the Ētabooishness.Ē and thatís understandable. as a woman, i think that, somewhere along the line, we are taught swallowing is demoralizing. from your perspective, swallowing would increase intimacy and closeness, but from hers, it may do exactly the opposite. ... ... it sounds like youíve pushed the issue quite a bit. if i were in your position, i ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Relationship trust issues   by levelear  6y   1,650
     
    Thanks M, ... ... I think youíre absolutely right... I am definitely taking way too much responsibility for making our relationship work. I also agree that his actions are a form of escapism... though from what exactly, I am not sure. You suggested Ēhis own issues,Ē and I think youíre right, but could you help clarify what kind of issues you think they might be? Iím not certain if you mean relationship/communication issues, or personal issues (like insecurity, etc.), and I donít have enough knowledge about this sort of thing to know if these personal issues could manifest themselves in this way ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Relationship trust issues   by AskMelissa  6y   1,949
     
    It sounds like youíre taking on too much responsibility for making the relationship work. He should be speaking with YOU about his concerns, not with a female friend that he is having a flirtatious relationship with. My take is that heís avoiding dealing with his own issues, and his conversations with this friend are a form of escapism. Have you suggested seeing a counselor or coach with him? If heís truly committed to the relationship, heíll be open to the idea. ... ... ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Question:   by levelear  6y   1,674
     
    I guess I could have made that a lot simpler! What it boils down to for me is that I have had trust issues in the past with him, though they have been unfounded. Now, it seems like there is a reason to mistrust him, or at least to mistrust him when things arenít going well between the two of us. It seems like, given a Ērough patchĒ in our relationship, he is willing to engage in behavior that makes me feel uncomfortable or betrayed - and, to me, him having interest in another person and pursuing that in a verbal or emotional way, feels like just as much of a betrayal as the physical act of ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Edited   by UserX  6y   1,688
     
  • Relationship trust issues   by levelear  6y   1,858
     
    Hi Melissa, ... ... My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years, and he is wonderful. Not only do we both know ourselves well, but we are also physically, mentally, and emotionally compatible. We are still young - college-aged - but I know that we both see potential in a long-term, loving partnership. For the past year or so, we have been struggling with maintaining our own individual lives; at some point along the line, we got into the habit of spending every moment with one another, and neither of us ended up being happy. As such, the last few months have presented a real strugg ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: 2yr old w/ droopy eyelid   by 2scoops  6y   2,079
     
    Was your child vaccinated. Could be adverse reactions to the thimerosal(mercury) from the vaccine.   [End]
     
  • Re: 2yr old w/ droopy eyelid   by AskMelissa  6y   1,756
     
    Iím so sorry to hear about your childís situation. I wish I could advise you about how to proceed, but this is not within my area of expertise. If you would like a referral to someone who may be able to better advise you, send me an email through my website at www.transformnow.com. ... ... ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • 2yr old w/ droopy eyelid   by iamhealed  6y   1,814
     
    I have a two year old who has been suffering with an droopy eyelid now for 1 month (1 week trying to treat at home and 3 weeks to wait for appointment w/ Nationwide Childrenís Hospital). After waiting to see my child after almost nearly a month (a crying shame, no pun intended) to see my child they diagnosed my son w/ droopy eyelid (which I and my wife had already expected) and have scheduled surgery for Feb. 8th. Weíve been working fervently to find a more sensible alternitive which doesnít require surgery to a two year oldís eyelid. CAN YOU PLEASE ASSIST US WITH YOUR EXPERTISE? THANK YOU ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Why is this?   by askmelissa  7y   1,879
     
    Thank you for sharing your experience. I wholeheartedly agree that  a healthy sexual relationship is ultimately about the expression of love and that both partners should be respectful of each otherís preferences. ... ... ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Why is this?   by sweetprince  7y   1,827
     
    I have a wife that is anti oral sex with me. I do her, but she will not reciprocate. That said, itís a taste thing. I have suggested flavoring ideas (use your imagination), with no avail. My advice openly communicate, respect her wishes and remember that ultimately these are all physical expressions of love and wanting to bring pleasure to your partner. Sometimes we have to be willing to give up what we would like, so the experience is a good one for them. Good Luck   [End]
     
  • Re: A question   by askmelissa  7y   1,816
     
    Sounds like your adrenals might be stressed, and that ususlly results in fatigue and moodiness. You might want to get a check-up with an integrative MD who knows how to assess low adrenal function (looks at DHEA, cortisol, and hormones). One thing you can do immediately to support the adrenals if you donít have high blood pressure, is drink licorice tea. Also, make sure your blood sugar is balanced - avoid refined sugar and carbs and limit alcohol intake. When your adrenals are strong and your blood sugar is balanced, you will have a lot more energy. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Why is this?   by askmelissa  7y   1,883
     
    Trying to make a case for why she should swallow isnít an approach I would recommend. Ask her if the issue is really the taste or the taboo. Some women genuinely donít like the taste of semen, especially when the manís diet is very acidic (due to lots of meat, refined sugars and carbs, hydrogenated fats). And no, swallowing doesnít necessarily increase intimacy. Good communication does. ... ... Melissa ... ...   [End]
     
  • Re: A question   by #86303  7y   1,765
     
    My energy levels tend to be a little low. I take a medication in a low dose, and I think it makes me tired. I tend to be quite moody as well, and the unresolved emotions thing sounds right.   [End]
     
  • Re: Why is this?   by #32798  7y   1,914
     
    She says she doesnt like the taste but its more to do with the tabooishness I think. I donít want to waste it but dont want to risk pregnancy. Its just the perfect solution and very erotic. I think thats why I like it. I hate to compose a pros and cons sheet for her. If I were to though, what cons should I list? Im healthy as far as I can tell. Ivíe got the pros part down.(no clean up, no pregnancy, erotic, increases intamacy, closeness etc) Iíve read its rich in zinc and other nutrients. Is this true?   [End]
     
  • Re: Why is this?   by askmelissa  7y   2,042
     
    Itís not a perversion - itís a preference. Some women donít like to swallow and some do. For those who donít, it can be an issue of taste or smell. Have you asked her why she doesnít like it? ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Sorta embarassed   by askmelissa  7y   1,868
     
    Sex is supposed to be pleasurable! It shouldnít feel like work! ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Why is this?   by #32798  7y   2,031
     
    Hey Melissa. I posted this on the sex forum but havnít got many replies. Why do I want my lady(weíre monogomous), who wonít swallow, to swallow? My ex-girlfriend swallowed copious amounts and I miss that. Is it just a perversion to want this?   [End]
     
  • Re: Sorta embarassed   by ed324  7y   2,045
     
    Thanks now that I think about it we kind of focus on having sex instead of enjoying it. Thank you so much ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Sorta embarassed   by askmelissa  7y   1,953
     
    I can imagine how stressful his upcoming deployment might be. Focus on doing sensual things together - like taking warm baths or giving each other massages. Some aromatherapy oils are aphrodisiacs. Rose, petitgrain, jasmine, and ylang ylang are more feminine oils, and patchouli and sandalwood are more masculine oils. You can put a few drops of any of these in the bath or in a bottle of massage oil. Keep the focus on pleasure and take the focus off of the goal of having sex. Very often, these sensual activities will naturally lead to sex. Let me know how it goes! ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Sorta embarassed   by ed324  7y   1,897
     
    Hesís really shy about talking about sex, and his upcoming deployment has him a bit stressed.   [End]
     
  • Re: Sorta embarassed   by askmelissa  7y   2,009
     
    A decrease in libido can be cause by any of the following factors: changes in overall mental and physical health (fatigue, stress, poor nutrition), limiting attitudes toward sex and aging, and a decrease in emotional intimacy. Which of these have you noticed in your husband? ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Sorta embarassed   by ed324  7y   2,384
     
    My husband and I were married about two years ago, I was a little over seventeen and he was twenty one, when we first got together we had amazing sex sometimes 3-5 times in a twenty four hour period; but now things have slowed down, well he has slowed down, and my drive has stayed the same, any advice would be helpful; my husband is going to iraq soon and I would hate for something this small to give us problems right before he leaves   [End]
     
  • Re: vaginal orgasms?   by askmelissa  7y   2,155
     
    Great! Looking forward to hearing about it. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: vaginal orgasms?   by cassiopeia  7y   2,411
     
    Alrighty..I will give it a shot! Thanks!   [End]
     
  • Re: vaginal cllmaxs?   by askmelissa  7y   2,576
     
    Women generally have an easier time achieving orgasms clitorally, but with some practice you can achieve vaginal orgasms. Doing Kegel exercises can help. Kegel exercises strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle – the muscle used to stop the flow during urination. Once you have located the muscle, simply tighten for 2 seconds, then release. Repeat 5 times. Do this 2-3 times a day. ... ... ... ... You can also use devices such as the Kegelmaster 2000, Kegelcisor, or Isis to strengthen the PC muscle. Youíll find them here: ... ... http://www.evesgarden.com/transformnow ... ... ... ... Let me know how it goes! ... ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • vaginal orgasms?   by cassiopeia  7y   2,688
     
    Hi. Iím wondering if it is a myth that if one only achieves orgasms clitorally that they can achieve them vaginally? I canít seem to get there during sex, thought it sure feels pretty good. Iíd love to do so--is there something I can try? Someone told me it comes with age (Iím early thirties though). I just figure itíd be good to know so I can stop hoping it might come along someday or do what I can to make it happen. Thanks!   [End]
     
  • Re: A question   by askmelissa  7y   1,752
     
    It isnít possible for you to have blue balls if you donít have testicles (unless thereís something youíre not telling me!). Orgasm can bring up strong emotions and put us in touch with unhealed sexual wounds. If we donít address these consciously, we can feel exhausted. Orgasm generally gives women more energy, so I suspect that this could be an issue. How is your energy level in general? ... ... Melissa ... ...   [End]
     
  • A question   by #86303  7y   1,935
     
    Hi, I have the experience where after masturbating I feel really pent up and low energy and physically tired. I canít figure out if this is just Ēblue balls,Ē as they say, or whether itís from my endometriosis. It usually lasts about 1-2 days afterward, and 2 nights of sleep tend to make it dissipate. It seems to happen whether I come or not, but might not an orgasm be incomplete if one does not have a transcendent emotional state along with it? Iím thinking that this could possibly cause the Ēblue ballsĒ I referred to, if that is indeed the cause. Maybe what Iím really asking for is a def ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Special teleclass series for women   by askmelissa  7y   993
     
    Beginning October 29th, Iím offering an exciting four-part telelcass series just for women. ... ... Itís called ĒThe Four FacetsĒ of Joyful Menopause, and itís an enlightening program that will help women understand the potential joy they can have in this new chapter of their lives. ... ... Many women shy away from this subject because they have been falsely led to believe that they have to live with horrible symptoms, a diminished sex life, and a loss of physical beauty. ... ... ... The truth is: this is your opportunity to discover how powerful and beautiful and sensual you really are. ... ... And if youíre s ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Non-verbal communications   by askmelissa  7y   1,808
     
    Yes, it is possible to attract someone with non-verbal communication. Most of our communication is non-verbal actually. With a warm smile and non-aggressive but direct eye contact, you can definitely draw someone in. The woman you spoke about however, was very direct in her invitation, and that is fine, too. She communicated both verbally and non-verbally that she wanted to go to dinner with him. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Non-verbal communications   by tantra100  7y   1,822
     
    Dear Melissa, Can you attract a person through non-verbal communications? The other day, I went to a ballroom dancing. I witnessed that a leader was leading a follower very gently and passionately. He was also very aware of their dancing environment to protect her, not being stepped on by other dancers. After a while, I was sitting next to her; I was talking to a bar tender. He was on the way out, and she said to him, “Are you already going home? Do you love to eat Sushi?” She was quite aggressive. I could tell they talked to each other for the first time, but they had an insta ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Side Effects of Phentermine & Lexapro   by desparate4help  7y   2,469
     
    Thank you, I recently found out that these two medications can also have severe symptons when taken together. Including irritability and mood swings. We are working on everything together know and hope to resolve all our issues. Thanks, again.   [End]
     
  • Re: Thank you   by askmelissa  7y   2,026
     
    Based on my research, both of the medications you mentioned can cause changes in sex drive (either increased or decreased). Did you notice a change in his behavior when he went on either of the medications? I think itís important for you and your partner to discuss this with the doctor and see what the alternatives are. There are natural antidepressants such as 5HTP and SAMe that donít have those kinds of side effects. If his doctor doesnít know about those alternatives, you might consult a good holistic MD or naturopath in your area. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Lack of courtesy   by askmelissa  7y   1,920
     
    Thatís a wonderful and very creative solution to the problem. Iím so glad you were able to work together on this. Congratulations on standing up for yourself and telling him that you wanted him to respect your time! ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Lack of courtesy   by #85987  7y   1,817
     
    Melissa, thank you for your advice. I told him that I was treated like a second citizen and he needed to respect my time. We created 3 pre-text messages on his cell, ďSorry, I will be 10 min late. Sorry, I will be 20 min late. Sorry, I will be 30 min late.Ē I asked him, at least, to send this pre-text message.   [End]
     
  • Re: Lack of courtesy   by askmelissa  7y   1,924
     
    Thanks for posting this question. It can be very challenging to deal with a partnerís disrespectful behavior. How did you speak to him about it? Did you tell him how it made you feel? Itís always best to give feedback that way rather than criticizing his actions. Have you tried making a specific request that he call you when heís running late? That approach can also work well. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Lack of courtesy   by #85987  7y   2,162
     
    How can tell my husband that a small courtesy is very important for our relationship? My husband is very loose about his time. For example, we were invited to my cousinís birthday dinner. We were supposed to meet up at the restaurant, but he never showed up. I confronted him, and he had a big excuse. ďI got into the Marathon conversations with my very important client. I was not able to make a phone call to you.Ē He could send a text message to my cell phone, or he could send an instant message to my computer. He just makes a convenient excuse, and he does not want to be re ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Tantra Sessions   by askmelissa  7y   2,808
     
    Great question! ... ... Youíll find a comprehensive answer on my website by following this link: ... ... ... http://www.transformnow.com/enter/tantraphilosophy.htm ... ... ... Because my programs are so individualized, the number of sessions you would need depends on several things, including your level of self-awareness, experience doing body-centered practices (breathwork, yoga, etc.), and relationship history. I would be happy to help you assess your personal needs. Just go to the ĒContactĒ page of my website and fill out the questionnaire. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Tantra Sessions   by tantra100  7y   2,822
     
    Dear Melissa, ... ... I have heard Tantra enhances oneís sexual experiences. Is it true? Please tell me how the method works. How many hours of sessions do I need to master this technique? Thanks!   [End]
     
  • Thank you   by desparate4help  7y   2,034
     
    I look forward to your response.   [End]
     
  • Re: Medications are   by askmelissa  7y   2,103
     
    I am researching these and will get back to you shortly. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Medications are   by desparate4help  7y   2,236
     
    Antidepressant - Lexapro (daily) ... Apetite Supressant - Phentermine (only takes every other day)   [End]
     
  • Re: Because I can't increase mine   by askmelissa  7y   2,151
     
    Yes, medications, as well as a number of other factors, do affect his testosterone levels. What medication(s) is he currently taking? ... ... Melissa ... ... P.S. Sorry for the confusion, I just realized that I had posted my response under a different user name. ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Because I can't increase mine   by soulful  7y   2,192
     
    Yes, medications, as well as a number of other factors, do affect his testosterone levels. What medication(s) is he currently taking? ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Because I can't increase mine   by desparate4help  7y   2,232
     
    ... I am 41 and he is 43.  I have been waiting for the so called increase since I was 38.  I really was anticpating it.  I have a 18 year old from my previous marriage, a two year old from this one and I just found out that I am expecting again.  After I had my two year old I had the Mirena IUD placed, it wasnít all it was cracked up to be mood swings, no sex drive, etc.  I had it removed in June 07 and yes I got my drive back, but it still wasnít as strong has his.  It never has been and I guess it never will.  I tried prescribed hormone therapy "Estr ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Why would you want to?????   by southern belle  7y   2,479
     
    Just kidding with the title.......well, sorta kidding. When you get my age, most menís sex drive goes down. Your husband is probably at his sexual peak and you are not. In a few years, it will be the opposite. You will be at your sexual peak and he will not. I donít understand Godís logic behind that, but I am sure He has a reason. ... ... I am sure Melissa will come along with words of wisdom because I have no words of wisdom for you. But, I do remember when my kids were young and my world pretty much revolved around all their needs and then there were my husbandís needs and I felt like ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Can you lower a males sex drive?   by desparate4help  7y   2,345
     
    My husband wants sex every day. I canít keep up. I have a two year old and donít have the same drive as him. I wouldnít mind twice a week. Do you know of anything to lower his drive (other than masturbation) he doesnít want to do that. ... ... Help us-   [End]
     
  • Re: Fiance with a secret interest...don't know what to do   by AskMelissa  7y   2,040
     
    What disturbs me about your fianceís behavior is that is secretive. Generally, secretive behaviors (such as this one) are signs of addiction, and itís best that you talk to him about this BEFORE you get married. The last thing youíd want is to have his addiction interfere with your intimacy, which it will if not addressed. There are a number of excellent 12 Step programs that deal with sexual addictions, and you might want to check them out and attend some meetings before you speak with him about this very sensitive topic. Many people have resistance to admitting that they have an addictio ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Fiance with a secret interest...don't know what to do   by #80128  7y   2,335
     
    Hi Melissa...found this forum, and am distressed or self-conscience about something. Donít have a friend I feel I should share this with, would be disrespectful? Had recent horribly heartbreaking experience with a relationship, of which included lies and secrets on his part. After recovering from that, I tried not to have judgemental ĒtrustĒ issues with the next relationship, for my self-esteem level is not the greastest considering what was done to me, and the next person in my life should not bare the burdeons of the previous deceits. Have met a wonderful man now, and attempting marriage ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Bi sexual?   by askmelissa  7y   2,076
     
    I need more information. Tell me about your current sex life and when you have urges to be with other women. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Bi sexual?   by danielddd1  7y   2,181
     
    lifes too short to hold back on your desires   [End]
     
  • Bi sexual?   by #26433  7y   2,093
     
    Im married a long time, but every so often I get this overwhelming idea to have sex with another female. I havent acted on it yet, but its getting there. My sex life at home was never that great, but am I alone here with these feelings. I have grown kids and if my two boys found out about this I would be ashamed badly. I would not want to be seen by anyone I know, so Im looking where no-one knows me. The thoughts are daily, but doesnt stop me from working. But can you tell me what is going on?   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by askmelissa  7y   2,737
     
    Youíre welcome! With a macho boyfriend, the best way to approach the subject is to say that it is an issue for the two of you as a couple - not just with him. Youíre out of sync sexually and feel it is important to get help so both of you can have your needs met and you can have an even better relationship. Let me know how it goes! ... ... Melissa ... ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by hockey1981  7y   2,188
     
    Thank you so much for all your help. He is more or less to macho to go get help. He is embarrased of his sex drive. It really kills what little libido he has. But I will try to talk him into getting help but its understandably embarrassing. Thanks again!!! And hopefully we can pull through this cause everything else is great!   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by askmelissa  7y   3,286
     
    It doesnít appear that he is asexual because he does have a sex drive. His interest in masturbation is certainly evidence of that. Any negative sexual experiences in the past, including any form of sexual abuse, would definitely affect his sex drive, and that can be healed with the right help. I have worked with many people in this situation. It would benefit him (as well as you) for him to address this, as it will certainly affect how deeply you can go in your relationship emotionally. If he was abused, it may be hard for him to trust. ... ... As for you, you can channel some of that sexual en ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by hockey1981  7y   2,374
     
    well i have spoken with him about this and it is a real self esteem issue with himself. He also had really bad sex times in the past too. Wiuthout going into too much about it....i wouldnt want to ever have sex again if this happened to me. Its something we are going to work out together and i think its going to be great. Now, is there anything that a woman can take to lower a sex drive? I have always had an issue with a high sex drive and i dont want it anymore. 10 times a day would be perfect for me...no one can fulfill that. I also wanted to ask you how you feel about asexuality. I th ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by hockey1981  7y   2,384
     
    well I know hes not gay and trust me this has come across my mind before. I just know. I just know if i leave him for this reason, its terrible. Men dont leave women with low sex drives for the most part. so why should women? But I do have to say i have an unusually HIGH sex drive. Like i want it 10 times a day. And I havent ever found a man who can keep up with me. So this isnt a new issue. I was wondering if there is anything that can turn down a sex drive. I have wanted a lower one forever. Also, i have come to see that a man who makes sex their priority never lasts in a relationship. ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by irmad  7y   1,985
     
    ... thank you melissa, i think now i know what to say to him. ... and i also learned not take it personally, even if he takes is badly. ... ... thanks again   [End]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by askmelissa  7y   2,017
     
    i think this is an excellent point. Cultural differences are very important in relationships, and they can affect your comfort level in communicating your needs. This is clearly an issue your boyfriend needs to know about in order for you to feel comfortable moving forward with him. If he rejects you because of it, donít take it personally and reassess the relationship. Take your feelings seriously and get clear on the qualities you want in a partner. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by askmelissa  7y   2,517
     
    If he masturbates, he does have a sex drive, so in fact, he does like sex but not necessarily with a partner. Thatís an indication that he may have an issue connecting his sex drive with emotional intimacy, i.e. his feelings for you. That doesnít bode well for a happy future together, unless he is willing to explore that with you and understand at a deeper level why he prefers sex alone. When a person rejects sex with their partner, it is sometimes a passive-aggressive act to control them or push them away. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by dameondemon  7y   2,901
     
    I dont mean too shock you or any thing but...truley...consider the fact that he might not be into girls. A lot of boys just...dont want to come to terms with it. Personally I love woman, but some times I dont feel like having sex with them either. Iím totally in love with my girl friend, weíre very active but there are days where I dont feel like having it. ... ... All the time though...and he masterbates...those are warning signs for YOU. Seriously its a sad fact but some times men and woman just...are gay. Im not saying this is the case with your boy, but it could be. I personally am bi, so t ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by irmad  7y   1,979
     
    ... thank you so much for your advice. i really need to hear that. actually we both live in israel, and iím writing you from there. arabs raised very differently in their religion they have limited options, they canít express themselves freely as they want to. if they go against their religion might get killed by their parents. itís vey hard religion. thatís why itís so hard to me to mention hepatitis b. how he going to react to it, or his parents? should i tell him already before anything serious happens between us? ... ... thank you so much, i really appriciate it   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by hockey1981  7y   2,494
     
    You want to know the weird thing, no drug use ever, doesnt like drinking that much, maybe 2 times a month, and the sensual stuff doesnt work. He said he doesnt like sex. But in the beginning it was daily (for about a month). Then we moved in together very quickly. About a month after being together. Maybe that has alot to do with it. We do have roommates also. ... ... I dont know bc I know he mastrubates....   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by askmelissa  7y   2,447
     
    Have you tried doing sensual things with him like massages, bubble baths, or dancing? Does he take any medication, do recreational drugs, or drink alcohol? All of these could affect sex drive - so can poor nutrition. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by hockey1981  7y   2,434
     
    He just isnt into sex that much at all. Maybe once a month. I am good friends of a ex of his from high school. And she said he has always been like that. Just sex is not a priority to him. He is very loving though...   [End]
     
  • Re: Boyfriend with low sex drive   by askmelissa  7y   2,573
     
    How does his low sex drive show up? Does he not want to have sex as often as you do or he is not that enthusiastic about having sex in general? ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by Alikat  7y   1,777
     
    I can understand your hesitation. Cultural mindsets are very strong, and they color everythig in a personís thought and emotional life. Whereas in a culture like the United States and Brittain, where personal freedoms and independence are highly valued, in other cultures having family and social approval and conformity is held in the upmost place of importance. Love will be birthed and defined by how well people can accomodate their lives to those situations. So to say that he does or does not love you may depend entirely in how well you fit into his cultureís definition of what a goo ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by irmad  7y   1,808
     
    ... i donít think i need a professional help. and iím not scared of him. but i could use some direction on how iím going to start talking about this. and no, heís never been with someone like my situation. ...   [End]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by askmelissa  7y   2,256
     
    In a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk to your partner about anything thatís important to you. I donít know how he will respond. People have different definitions of love, and many donít understand that love is about creating trust and safety for your partner. If you are living in fear about your boyfriendís responses, you might consider getting professional help about this. ... ... Melissa ... ... ...   [End]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by irmad  7y   2,048
     
    ... hey ... ... i didnít really ment to fall in love with him but it happened. ... well iíve known him for 3 years, and heís never been aggressive to me. only to others. he is arab, so their culture is different from ours. and i think that it would be odd to him if i mentioned hepatitis b. ... ... do you think that even if he loves me, he will understand me and accept that?   [End]
     
  • Re: Don't like nice guys   by #13345  7y   2,073
     
    Itís funny you say that about ĒYou girlsĒ I guess youíre talking of me? Well if so, then you are in the same boat! You like Women that reject you!   [End]
     
  • Re: What to do next?   by askmelissa  7y   2,013
     
    Congratulate yourself on having good intuition the first time around. You knew that he was unavailable so you ended the relationship. Good job! ... ... Now you need to look at why you are attracted to unavailable men. Was your father or mother emotionally distant in any way? We tend to attract (and be attracted) to people who have certain qualities that our parents have, even if we donít like those qualities. When we are willing to take a look at that, we can heal those pattern and attract partners who are emotionally available and commit to us. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by askmelissa  7y   1,864
     
    I am concerned when I hear that your boyfriend is narrow-minded and aggressive. Makes me wonder why you are in a relationship with him. Loving relationships are based on trust and safety. It would be helpful to explore why have you have chosen to be with a man you are afraid of with a qualified therapist or coach. ... ... Itís important that you are able to communicate whatever you need to him. If you are too afraid to do that, arrange it so that a trusted friend or counselor is present. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Don't like nice guys   by #77290  7y   2,351
     
    Ahhhh, you girls. Iíll bet if a really nice guy came along and treated you like a queen youíd reject him. Youíd have no respect for him because he treats you well. Youíd think he was a wuss because he attempts to make you happy. You girls donít like nice guys, theyíre too boring, they donít excite you, they donít reject you. They accept you for who you are and try to improve your life by them being in it. You girls donít like that. Youíre attracted to the dangerous guy, the guy who pushes you around a bit and rejects you. A guy whoís tough and wouldnít even listen to something a lowly fema ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • What to do next?   by #13345  7y   2,110
     
    Ok, Itís kind of wierd, Ok December I ended a long 2 year ĒFlingĒ with this guy... Him and I have been best of friends for almost 12 years, became intimate back in 04... I was recently upset with some news about him being with someone (Relationship) since Novemeber!!! that is the reason why I stopped it in Dec, he did not want to commit to me! ... ... Next Guy... ... I met him through a friend in DEC 06, yes same month! I thought he would be different but I gussed wrong! 4 months later I realized I am in the same Predicament, this one was just weird! he claimed me as a ĒgirlfriendĒ but acted total ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by irmad  7y   1,862
     
    hi melissa ... ... well i didnít really got it from STD, i got it from birth, my mom had a car accident when she was pregnant. when i was born i was very sick, maybe i got it from there. ... but i havenít slept with anyone , iím a virgin ... and he doesnít know that, he thinks iím not. ... ... my boyfriend is very narrow-minded person , and aggressive man ... and iím scared how is going to react.   [End]
     
  • Re: hepatitis b   by askmelissa  7y   2,326
     
    You might begin by asking your boyfriend whether he has ever had a significant partner who had a sexually transmitted disease and how he felt about it. In this way, you can observe his reaction and find out how he has handled this emotionally in the past. If he responds with sensitivity, you can safely tell him about hepatitis. if he reacts with judgment or anger, let me know, and Iíll advise you further. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • hepatitis b   by irmad  7y   1,983
     
    hi ... i want some advice ... ... i have a boyfriend, we love each other, but i havenít slep with him yet. ... i havenít told him that i have hepatitis b. iím scared that he will reject me. ... how can i bring up this conversation, how i bring this up to him? ... iím scared ... ... ... write to me as soon as possible   [End]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by #21676  7y   1,874
     
    That sounds good. ... ... Thanks again for the advice. :) ... ...   [End]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by askmelissa  7y   1,834
     
    First, tell her that you are very careful about choosing partners because you are concerned about STDs. Women who feel the same way will be reassured. Then tell her that in this day and age, this is a real issue and you feel strongly that partners should openly discuss their sexual history and get tested to support their health. Make sure to say that you do not mean to judge her or be intrusive, but that you need to know what her situation has been for health reasons. (Youíre not making a moral assessment about her sex life.) If you share about yourself first in a loving way, most women wi ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by #21676  7y   1,775
     
    Thanks. Sounds like good advice.   [End]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by #21676  7y   1,781
     
    Thanks Melissa. Your post was helpful. ... ... Do you mind if I ask you, since you are a woman, how a woman would prefer to be asked about her sexual history? I guess something very specific would really help. Every scenario I can think of ends in a loud buzzer sound. ... ... Sorry to be blunt but I donít want to offend her and could use some coaching on the delivery. ... ...   [End]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by askmelissa  7y   1,930
     
    I think it would be helpful to wait and see how the energy is when you meet. Donít try to plan what youíre going to to. If Wildflower doesnít want to move on as you suggested, she must care very much for you. Let your love and friendship deepen as you speak openly about your situation. Be in the moment, and you will know what to do. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by askmelissa  7y   1,922
     
    Itís important to be cautious in choosing sexual partners, and youíve asked some very good questions. ... ... Here are some ways you can protect yourself: ... ... - Ask your potential partner to have a blood test for STDs (this should include an HIV test) ... - Find out your potential partnerís sexual habits and history. If she is unwilling to disclose this information, beware. ... - Always use condoms when having sexual intercourse and maintain excellent hygiene. ... ... There is no ĒstandardĒ as far as the timing of sex is concerned. If you feel itís best to wait until after youíre married, focus on attracti ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by wheatgrass yogi  7y   1,888
     
    Yes Melissa, thatís good advice. Iíll just ask her how she feels about sexual relations now. But what if she says íNoí? Iím not sure my Ego could stand it. LOL. But Iíll ask anyway. This is really helping me to open up like this. Thank you for providing this Forum. Iíve encouraged Wildflower to post here too......WY   [End]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by White Tiger  7y   1,851
     
    6 months is not so long, its not like you abandoned her is it. ... You already had a bond, just let things happen naturallly. :) ... She is willing to meet you, so you already know she has feelings for you.   [End]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by wheatgrass yogi  7y   1,886
     
    You might be íhanging outí with the wrong crowd if you have to worry about the women youíre meeting. Iíd say date a woman for a few months before you consider sexual intercourse. Get to know her and her habits íreally wellí.......WY   [End]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by wheatgrass yogi  7y   1,846
     
    Itís Love not lust. We started our relationship under the premise that I would pay her rent and visit her every month while I was getting well. After 2 years, that agreement no longer works for me because it doesnít seem like Iíll ever get well. I wanted her to íget oní with her life so I backed out of our agreement, but Wildflower has ístuckí with me. We still email each other quite often and talk on the phone, but havenít seen each other in 6 months......WY   [End]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by wheatgrass yogi  7y   1,831
     
    Yes Adie, thatís good. Wildflower and I are working towards a live-in relationship with each other but Iím not physically able to do that at this time. Plus I have a certain amount of Pride. Wildflower is very healthy and fit; Iím not. Weíd like to live on a Homestead, growing our own food. But that would take a lot of work, something I canít give at this time. I have chronic back pain (Sciatica) with other issues stemming from that. Wildflower has been very patient with me over the last two years but I canít be sure that Iíll ever get well now, even though I just bought an Inversion Table ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by White Tiger  7y   1,921
     
    Then if you are fearful that every girl you meet may potentially carry a sexually transmitted disease or diseases. ... ... It looks like the only course of action before you decide to have sex with a woman, is to insist she go to a reputable doctor and submit to testing and screening for every type of sexually transmitted disease as a pre-sexual agreement, and present the test results to you signed by a qualified eurologist medical doctor. ... ... That would prevent you from suffering mental stress and anguish of wondering if she gave you any type of diseases. ... ... It looks like you answered your own ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by White Tiger  7y   1,880
     
    Did she invite you? or did you invite yourself? ... ... You left some pieces of the puzzel out. ... ... You keep mentioning financial support, did she feel obligated to you in any way, or was it love or lust?   [End]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by #21676  7y   1,837
     
    With or without a condom, Iím not having sex with someone with AIDS. Nor would I have sex with someone if I had AIDS and a condom.   [End]
     
  • Re: How to find out about diseases?   by White Tiger  7y   1,838
     
    Thats one of the things condoms are for   [End]
     
  • How to find out about diseases?   by #21676  7y   1,995
     
    Hi Melissa ... ... Iím 32, male, disease-free, trying to meet a woman to share my life with. I havenít had a ton of sexual partners and Iíd like to keep it that way. I have passed up several opportunities to have sex even though my sexual drive has always been strong. I donít think I am paranoid but I do fear getting diseases and I am a bit of a health nut. Maybe I am paranoid - I passed up sex! Sometimes I think about those passed up opportunities rrrrrrr... ... ... Iíll likely go through a few relationships before I find someone to settle down with and possibly have kids with so I am concerne ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by adie32  7y   1,950
     
    I felt compelled to write you a response to your post because it confused me to a certain degree. I hope you donít mind Melissa. ... ... I was wondering what type of relationship you and Wildflower are working towards. By that I mean, would you someday like to marry her or are you and she together solely for sexual gratification purposes? If you and she are working toward a lasting relationship with marriage in mind then, IMO, I personally donít think that the issue of financial support would even have a bearing on how the relationship would go when you meet up again....since you and she are ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by askmelissa  7y   1,918
     
    I think you should ask her how she feels about having a sexual relationship under the new financial circumstances - before you plan the visit. Iím not clear how the money situation is affecting you, but it seems important to have more clarity about that. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by wheatgrass yogi  7y   1,833
     
    Melissa....Yes, thatís right. Since Iím no longer supporting Wildflower (one of her usernames) financially, Iíd feel uncomfortable visiting her and having sexual intercourse. Iím sure she has similar feelings. On the other hand, visiting her without our evening Love Sessions would be difficult for me too. Weíve had so many wonderful times together. Our ísessionsí sometimes lasted 2 hours or more, with, many times, an hour of foreplay. ... Perhaps we could work out a compromise. What would you suggest? Weíre thinking about a 3-day visit at the end of this month.......WY   [End]
     
  • Re: What to do?   by askmelissa  7y   2,002
     
    Sorry for the delayed response. Iíve been having some problems with my email. ... ... Why are you feeling uncomfortable about this visit? Is it because of the time lapse or because youíre no longer supporting her (Iím assuming financially)? ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • What to do?   by Wheatgrass Yogi  7y   2,215
     
    My girlfriend and I have had an íon again, off againí relationship for over 2 years now. She lives in NY and I live in FL. When I was supporting her and seeing her every month, I felt fine that we were having such a íHotí romantic relationship. I am no longer supporting her, but plan to visit her again at the end of the month. How would you handle this visit, from both sides? Weíve had many stimulating íLove Sessionsí in the past but Iím feeling a bit uncomfortable about this visit. Itís been about 6 months since weíve seen each other.......WY   [End]
     
  • Re: Chlamydia   by askmelissa  8y   2,058
     
    There are two ways chlamydia can be transmitted: (1) From one person to another by sexual contact or (2) From mother to child when the child passes through the birth canal. Tell your girfriend that all of your research consistently concludes that chlamydia cannot be ĒdevelopedĒ (feel free to show her this message and other websites) and that it would be irresponsible if she didnít notify the other infected partner. ... ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Chlamydia   by #73483  8y   1,977
     
    hello Melissa. ... ... Me and my GF where recently diagnosed and in the process of being treated for Chlamydia, when i questioned her on it she told me that Chlamydia could be ĒdevelopedĒ and that she didnt get it from anyone. I have searched and searched common pages but have found no evedence to back her claim, this is my last stop. Is this possible that she just ĒgotĒ it without having sexual contact with another infected partner? if not how would i possibly go about convincer her to fess up and contact the partner in question to inform him of the illness and to be tested for it?   [End]
     
  • Re: Sex without condoms   by SashaGirl  8y   1,932
     
    It is quite possible that they will just test his blood and see if his white blood cells are elevated. If they are, it means that thereís some kind of an infection and then they may test further. ... -------------- ... SashaGirl ... ... http://www.steadyhealth.com ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Amount of sex question.   by SashaGirl  8y   1,850
     
    This is so normal and it happens to almost every couple that move in together. The every day stress and tiredness just kill the desire and energy. ... ... But this mustnít lead to forgetting about each other needs. Make some room for romance from time to time, so you wouldnít forget why you moved in in the first place. ... ... Everything will be just fine. The first years is the hardest. If you manage the first year, things will go smooth after. ... ... What saved me and my boyfriend is having too separate rooms :). It is essential :) ... ... Good luck! ... --------------- ... SashaGirl ... ... http://www.steadyhealth. ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: More than a One-Night Stand?   by SashaGirl  8y   2,000
     
    I know you are confused and someone talking about things doesnít lead anywhere although you were such good mates before it happened. ... ... Sometimes it is better not talk about things and see where things leave you. ... ---------------------- ... SashaGirl ... ... http://www.steadyhealth.com ...   [End]
     
  • Re: safety of anal sex   by SashaGirl  8y   3,850
     
    I canít help you with the hemorrhoid thing but i will tell you about men and anal sex. The reason they are so obsessed with it is because the anal sphincter is so tight that it feels incredibly good to them, it is also much warmer. Usually vagina widens after a prolonged sex and that stops being sooo good but the anal area doesnít and that is one of the joys. ... ... Once they went in, they will always want to get back in there, donít anyone tell you differently. I am sure he would be nagging about it even more than he is now once you tried it. ... ... I wonder how come you never asked about this ea ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: what is pink or pink bar?   by askmelissa  8y   2,025
     
    Sorry I havenít heard of that expression. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: safety of anal sex   by #23001  8y   3,810
     
    Thank you. That is what I thought :)   [End]
     
  • what is pink or pink bar?   by joycehead  8y   2,111
     
    hi i was wondering if you could tell me what pink or pink bar is my guy friends use it as a way to lable people...... from the way they use it it seem like it has to do with how expreanced people are in sex.... but iím not sure and was wondering if you could tell me what it means because they dont want to tell me.... ... ... ... thank you ... ... joycehead   [End]
     
  • Re: safety of anal sex   by askmelissa  8y   4,137
     
    I would definitely recommend using a condom during anal sex if you are concerned about sexually transmitted diseases, just as you would if you were having vaginal sex. Infected people may spread STDs through anal sex through semen or blood. The use of condoms, a good water-based lubricant, and good hygiene reduce the chance of tissue tearing and minimize the risk of transmitting disease during anal sex. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: safety of anal sex   by #23001  8y   4,141
     
    Hi Melissa, ... ... In regards to anal sex, what do you recommend as far as using a condom or no condom during anal. Also, if no condom is used, is it safe for a man to ejaculate inside of the rectum or should this not be allowed? ... ... Thank you in advance:)   [End]
     
  • Re: Melissa....Who may post here?   by askmelissa  8y   1,787
     
    Both men and women may post in this forum. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Melissa....Who may post here?   by wheatgrass yogi  8y   1,837
     
    Melissa......Is this Forum strictly for women, or may men post here too? True, women usually have more ífeelingí and íinsightí pertaining to Love matters, but some of us men may also have some good ideas.......WY   [End]
     
  • Re: Wondering eye   by askmelissa  8y   2,014
     
    Why would you ask your partner to leave you? Has she told you that this is what she wants? If your relationship is fundamentally healthy and loving, you may be able to work out your sexual challenges, but there needs to ba a commitment to each other. Also, have you looked into tantric practices for men? I have worked with a number of men in yor age group who were able to regain their ability to have and sustain erections. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: stretch vagina   by wheatgrass yogi  8y   3,746
     
    Melissa.....I think the vagina stretches and contracts based on the excitement of the woman. A Stretch Vagina can be a good thing. It turns me on when Iím íworkingí with a loose (but not too), wet vagina.......WY   [End]
     
  • Re: Wondering eye   by #63810  8y   2,019
     
    Melissa.....Donít you think Ace Paint Lady should just leave this type of relationship? Or maybe her partner should recognize the impossible situation and leave it himself? ... I am a 65 year old man in a similar situation. My girlfriend is 55 and very active and healthy. I just canít keep up with her. Our bedroom activities are usually íHotí but sometimes I canít get it Up. She insists on a Condom, which íkillsí the spontaneity of the moment. Weíre both Raw Foodists and generally healthy except that I have some physical problems (back pain) which limits me. Iíve asked her to leave me but she ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Wondering eye   by AskMelissa  8y   2,114
     
    Many women would not be satisfied if their partnerís sexual reperatoire was limited to manual stimulation and oral sex. Have you tried talking to your partner about your dissatisfaction? If so, what was his response? ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Wondering eye   by Ace Paint Lady  8y   2,134
     
    Hi Melissa, He has the works. High BP, Diabetes, 2 stints in his heart, arthritis, alcoholic. Yes he has seen the doc on several occasions about this. He gets the usual, here take this pill. Not my way at all. I tell him he needs to find out why his bp is high, to stop drinking, and eating poorly for high bp and diabetes, and everything. He has no interest in helping his health other than taking his pills for all his conditions. I so wish he was interested, but you canít make him. ... ... His idea of making love is oral, or hand jobs. Iím sorry this is not satisfying to me at all. A woman needs ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Wondering eye   by AskMelissa  8y   2,042
     
    What is the health condition your partner has? Has he attempted to get help for his impotence and if so, what kind of treatment did he receive? ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Wondering eye   by Ace Paint Lady  8y   2,302
     
    Hi Melissa, I think you give great advice. ... My problem is I am 45 with a domestic partner who is 60. Due to health problems he has been impotent throughout most of my 12 years with him. This past year has been real hard on me. I work around a lot of men customers, many of which are much younger, and hit on me. I have never been unfaithful however my will power is wavering, and I am really wanting to have real sex again. There is one in particular I am attracted to. What is the best way to set my mind in not wanting this guy, when I really do. ... I do love my partner, and respect him, he is a ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: safety of anal sex   by AskMelissa  8y   4,477
     
    Itís true, many men find anal sex erotic, perhaps because it has traditionally been consided taboo. The only danger (STDís aside) apart from irritation of the rectum is the transmittal of bacteria from the colon to other areas of the body. If you do choose to have anal sex, it is not advisable for you to engage in vaginal penetration afterward without having your husband cleanse with an antibacterial soap. If youíre not sure how anal sex is going to affect you physically because of the condition you described, you might have your husband try penetration with a well-lubricated finger. Go ve ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • safety of anal sex   by #25929  8y   4,441
     
    I have been married for 15 years and have had two kids- both vaginally. The labors caused me to have pretty bad hemmroids (sp?) I have always had a bit of problems with that area. Sometimes after a bowel movement, the acutual butt hole itches and can hurt a little. I talked to my gyne about it and she said that intense labors can cause that and if they get bad I could have surgery. Actually she said it is a prolapsed rectum. When I sit on the toilet I have to change my tampon (sorry for being so graphic here) I can feel a bit of a lump. It is the rectum that has fallen a bit and pushes o ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: maca for e.d.   by taoluvr  8y   3,164
     
    Iíve used Maca, and it is fine. (Itís actually not an herb, but a cruciferous vegetable from Peru.) ... Another really swell thing Iíve recommended is the amino acid Arginine, but be sure to look for arginine pyroglutamate, which is supposed to be 10 times more potent than regular arginine, or arginine hcl. This works best when taken with a multiple B, and if you wash these down with apple or cranberry juice (or both!) about 45 minutes before a session, youíll become a believer. ... This arginine, BTW, doesnít nullify any lysine you may take, and in fact often comes bundled with it. The only si ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: sex sucks   by AskMelissa  8y   2,520
     
    There is another very nice inexpensive massager that is sold at the Sharper Image. The great thing about it is the way itís shaped. Itís ergonomically designed for women, although I donít know if that was intentional on the part of the manufacturer :) ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: sex sucks   by #45538  8y   2,459
     
    Hey, ... Iím a female. Most of the time when my husband and I are having sex, itís OK. So we ALWAYS use clit stimulation so I can enjoy myself too. Iíve never (Iím 42) had an orgasm with only penetration by the penis....it just doesnít do enough for me. Thereís nothing wrong with clit stimulation. If you want to enjoy yourself, then do it. We buy massagers at walmart and use that for the ístimulatorí. ... ... Hope this helps   [End]
     
  • Re: More than a One-Night Stand?   by AskMelissa  8y   2,490
     
    Tell him that you really enjoy his company and think heís an amazing guy, but youíre not interested in having casual sex with him. A one night stand is not something you would repeat again. See how he responds. If he expresses feelings for you, you could broach the subject of having more than just a friendship. If he is okay with having casual sex and doesnít understand why youíre not, youíre not on the same page and it would be best not to pursue discussion about a relationship. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: More than a One-Night Stand?   by CamillaPretzel  8y   2,268
     
    I think he is an amazing guy, and everytime I see him, I canít help but smile! Just the thought of him using me as something to get off on makes me sick.. I want to pursue a relationship with him. Heís the kind of guy I would like to have a long-term relationship with. ... ... How can I tell him all of this without scaring him off?   [End]
     
  • Re: More than a One-Night Stand?   by AskMelissa  8y   2,347
     
    How do you feel about him? What kind of relationship do you want with him? I think itís important to get clear about that before you speak to him. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • More than a One-Night Stand?   by camillapretzel  8y   2,693
     
    Hi Melissa, ... ... I recently hooked up with a friend of mine. I thought it was like a one-night stand, but last weekend, he and I went to a party together and I ended up spending the night at his house again. When we were out at the party together, he had his arm around my waist the whole time. He had been drinking though. ... I am not the type of person the gets fulfillment out of casual sex. How can I talk to him, and let him know how I feel about him? I just want to make sure we are on the same page, but I donít want to run the risk of him thinking I am clingy because we slept together. ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by AskMelissa  8y   4,558
     
    If none of the scenarios presented in the article apply to you, I suspect that your pain has an emotional root cause. You might consider working with a good body-centered practioner or schedule a telephone session with me. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by dom1158  8y   4,503
     
    Melissa, ... ... Thank you for the article. I have seen it before and, unfortunately, nothing there really addresses the type of pain Iím having. Thank you for your help anyway.   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by AskMelissa  8y   4,632
     
    Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. This information might be helpful: ... ... http://menshealth.about.com/b/a/113608.htm ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by dom1158  8y   4,599
     
    Have you heard anything more regarding the problem I brought up here? I am still finding no answer to what is causing this. Thanks!!   [End]
     
  • Re: stretch vagina   by AskMelissa  8y   7,028
     
    Yes, it is possible for the vaginal muscles to become more relaxed and ĒstretchĒ with increased intercourse. Remember, the vagina can stretch to accommodate a babyís body during childbirth! You might explain that to your boyfriend if he asks you about changes in how you feels to him. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • stretch vagina   by queeny  8y   4,648  Ü Cross-post Ü
     
    i have been staying with my boyfriend for 8 months and we have sex almost everynite. recently my vagina has been making funny sounds almost as if is getting bigger. ... is it possible for the vagina to become bigger with lots of sex. is there anything to increase the internal sieze. ... ... im worried that he might think im cheating on him?   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by izumrud  8y   2,104
     
    thank you, iíll try   [End]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by prosperous  8y   2,041
     
    No, I donít have kids. ... What I try to do is to initiate sex when I am in the mood, like early evening, so then when itís time to go to sleep, we already did it and I can just go to sleep. Try that.   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by dom1158  8y   4,716
     
    Thank you so much for all the consideration youíve shown. I look forward to hearing your response. Take care!!   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by AskMelissa  8y   2,276
     
    I think you need to have an open conversation about this with him. Wondering how he feels is causing you stress. Itís much better to get it out in the open. Ask him about his feelings at a time when you are both relaxed and connected outside of the bedroom. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by #40679  8y   2,160
     
    thank you. ... I donít really care for oral sex either, i just want him to want it so I can feel that he accepts my body fully. ... Somehow I feel that he thinks I am ídisgustingí if we only have penetration sex. ... weíve done showers together, he doesnít seem to be interested in oral sex then. ... ... ...   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by AskMelissa  8y   2,329
     
    There are a number of reasons why some men donít like performing oral sex on women. Itís a very individual thing. It could be an issue of aesthetics (taste or smell) or one of social conditioning (some men are conditioned to think itís dirty). I would strongly recommend that you discuss this with your partner if is bothering you. One thing I recommend to couples is that they bathe together before having sex. Itís a great form of foreplay and makes both partners more aesthetically appealing to each other. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by #40679  8y   2,315
     
    not much.. ... Itís a touchy subject, so i donít bring it up. I just wanted to know if that was common among man and why. ... ... He is sort of shy sexually, and I am not a good instigator. ... He is in his mid 40s, I am in mid 30s. ...   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by AskMelissa  8y   2,437
     
    Have you spoken about this with your husband? ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by #40679  8y   2,606
     
    Go out and get a copy of ĒThe Multi-Orgasmic ManĒ by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams. Read it first, and then give it to your boyfriend to read. Itís a fabulous book on tantra for the typical American guy who wants to have better control over his erections and ejaculation. Itís a step-by-step manual written very clearly. If he has difficulty with any of the techniques, I can work with him by phone. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Dont know what to do anymore...   by AskMelissa  8y   2,638
     
    Go out and get a copy of ĒThe Multi-Orgasmic ManĒ by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams. Read it first, and then give it to your boyfriend to read. Itís a fabulous book on tantra for the typical American guy who wants to have better control over his erections and ejaculation. Itís a step-by-step manual written very clearly. If he has difficulty with any of the techniques, I can work with him by phone. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: question   by AskMelissa  8y   2,477
     
    Yes. In order for me to give you a more detailed response, tell me why you donít like performing oral sex on your wife. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • question   by #40679  8y   2,865
     
    is it normal for a man not to like (or not be interested) giving oral sex to his wife? ...   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by AskMelissa  8y   4,580
     
    Iíll speak to some of my colleagues about this and see who has had experience treating this condition. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Amount of sex question.   by AskMelissa  8y   2,396
     
    Yes, thatís quite normal. When partners move in together, thereís usually a change in sexual activity. I generally advise couples to plan specific dates with each other during the week, so sex and romance are made a priority. Also, itís important to manage your stress levels so you have more energy for each other. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by dom1158  8y   4,591
     
    Melissa, ... ... It has been since the very beginning. Neither one of us has ever had this problem before with any other partners (she even went so far as to contact an ex-boyfriend to ask him about it). I am really confused....maybe my penis is just overly sensitive but I canít imagine anyone liking the feeling of the top side of their penis hitting their partnerís pubic bone every time sliding in or out. ... ... Iím really confused about this....   [End]
     
  • Re: Dont know what to do anymore...   by herb-gal  8y   2,662
     
    I am interested, Melissa. ... Not so much for me but for my boyfriend. ... He doesnít necessarily ejaculate prematurely without any control whatsoever, but he often reaches orgasm way earlier than he wants to or I want him to. He can usually tell me to slow down or pause for a moment to stop it a few times, but once he does that itís pretty much a guarantee he wonít be able to fulfill me. ... Weíre young. Iím studying to be a clinical psychologist and learned a lot about sexual relationships but I canít even bring myself to talk him into trying any sensate focus techniques or anything. I think heís ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by AskMelissa  8y   4,702
     
    I have heard of people having pain in different areas of the penis, but the causes vary depending on the situation. Have you had pain from the very beginning with this partner? How long has it been going on? ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by dom1158  8y   4,670
     
    Melissa, ... ... Yes we have tried the messaging this as well. She is obviously more comfortable sometimes as opposed to others but even at best it is still uncomfortable. ... ... So, you have heard of this sort of thing before? Is there a name for it? Does this type of thing ever resolve itself? ... ... Thanks again for helping!! ... ...   [End]
     
  • Amount of sex question.   by #52015  8y   2,579
     
    Hi, ... I have a question about amount of sex. My boyfriend of 2 years and I just moved in together. Before we lived together we only saw each other 1-2 times a week because we both work and go to school full-time. Usually we would have sex at least one of those days we saw each other. Now that we have moved in together our sex life has dwindled. We are usually both so tired by the time we get home that sex is the last thing on our minds. We have both expressed that we would like to have sex more but when it comes down to it we are both exhausted. Is this normal? I am in my mid-20s an ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Sex without condoms   by AskMelissa  8y   2,094
     
    Yes, those are typically included when they test for herpes. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Sex without condoms   by trachillium  8y   2,151
     
    Thank you. What about Hep B and C? Should I be concerned about that?   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by AskMelissa  8y   4,750
     
    Even if you are using lubrication, her vagina may not be as relaxed as it could be. Remember, a vagina can become wide enough to accommodate a babyís head! Have you tried doing any vaginal massage with your fingers prior to intercourse? Many of my clients have found this helpful in alleviating pain. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Sex without condoms   by AskMelissa  8y   2,240
     
    He should also be checked for herpes and syphilis. Comprehensive STD tests typically include these as well as chlamydia,gonorrhea, and HIV. ... ... Melissa ...   [End]
     
  • Re: maca for e.d.   by AskMelissa  8y   2,945
     
    None of my clients have used maca. However, some have had good results with saw palmetto. There is an excellent book that goes into detail about all of these options called ĒNatural Solutions for Sexual DysfunctionĒ by Dr. Howard Peiper. Itís important to have medical supervision when using herbs because they have medicinal effects. Some herbs, for example, are not appropriate if you have high blood pressure or other conditions. I worked with a 65 year old client who healed his sexual dysfunction with tantric practices. This could be another viable option for you. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Sex without condoms   by trachillium  8y   2,392
     
    My boyfriend and I are looking into options for protected sex such as the pill, etc. I have been tested from my annual and also took an HIV test. He has not been tested- what does he need to test for besides HIV, chlamydia (sp?) and gonnorhea (sp?)? Is there a comprehensive STD test he can take? I hope this is relevant to your forum and if not, please redirect me. I appreciate your time.   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by dom1158  8y   4,755
     
    Melissa, ... ... I think I explained the pain as well as I could in the initial message. I am the only one feeling it. My girlfriend is fine. Neither have had this experience with any previous partners. I am out of ideas as to what could fix the problem. ... ... Ever heard of this before? ... ...   [End]
     
  • maca for e.d.   by #37380  8y   3,093
     
    Hi Melissa, Iím a 67 yr old male and married 46 yrs to my very attractive wife. She has the figure of a woman much younger...gets me turned on. Unfortunately, I have experienced erectile disfunction for several years. I have successfully used an Erectaid, but it is uncomfortable. Additionally, it is a nuisance to have to break into foreplay to use the thing. Most recently I have been perscribed with Viagra with limited success and more recently, Levitra, which I prefer. Most recently I have become aware of Maca. I wondered what experience your clients may have had with this herb. Iím ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Dont know what to do anymore...   by AskMelissa  8y   2,891
     
    I have counseled a number of men who have had problems with premature ejaculation, and there is a lot you can do to heal this. Have you ever heard of tantric sex (also known as tantra)? With tantric techniques, men can learn to use their breathing to control the timing of their ejaculation. Most men are disconnected from their breathing during sex and have very little control over their sexual energy. If you are interested in exploring these techniques, let me know and I can recommend some resources. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Pain during sex???   by AskMelissa  8y   4,729
     
    Thanks for your question. I need a little more information. Are you both having pain during sex or is it just one of you? Please tell me who is having the pain and where it is located. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by #51313  8y   2,084
     
    Thanks, that is nice to know. How do you cope with it? Do you have kids?   [End]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by prosperous  8y   2,226
     
    I feel exactly the same way, same problem - donít feel like it at all when I go to bed at night, and if I do do it to make my bf happy, I ruin my sleep, I am exhausted ready to fall asleep before sex, but afterwards it can take me hours to fall asleep. Then I feel mad that I am not getting enough sleep and will be tired the next day. ... I always feel in a mood early evening or in the middle of the day. ... So youíre not alone. Hope you can get your boyfriend adjust to you a bit more.   [End]
     
  • Pain during sex???   by dom1158  8y   5,128
     
    I am a 26-year-old male and have run into a rather strange problem with my girlfriend. I havenít been able to find a suitable answer on my own so I thought Iíd turn to all of you for some assistance... ... ... To get right to the point, it hurts to have sex. My girlfriend has what I consider a very small vaginal opening and her pubic bone is also very close to the opening. In the standard, missionary position, when I enter her, the top part of the head of my penis (the ridge where the head meets the shaft) hits her pubic bone causing some discomfort. It hurts even more when I pull it back out a ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Dont know what to do anymore...   by desperate19  8y   3,111
     
    I have been suffering from premature ejaculation now for about 4 years. Sometimes I can last a decent amount of time but not usually. They say its mostly a mental disease and not physical. Mentally, I am always in a relaxed state, not thinking about it too much and trying to enjoy myself. The three girls I have been with were understanding but its still disapointing to myself. I have been to the urologist a couple of times in the past. My left epidiymis has been enlarged for sometime now and I have a dull constant pain from my testicle to my mid-section. My urine stream is slow and splits ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by AskMelissa  8y   2,254
     
    Youíre welcome! Iím happy to help. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by #51313  8y   2,146
     
    Thank you so much. I thought I wasnít normal!   [End]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by AskMelissa  8y   2,202
     
    Yes, itís very normal, especially at certain times of our menstrual cycles. Tell your boyfriend that your sexual energy will be stronger earlier in the evening and that it will be better for him if he can try adjusting to your cycle. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by #51313  8y   2,200
     
    Thanks Melissa, Iíll try that. Itís hard to get my boyfriend to be before midnight! Is it normal for females not to feel like it at night?   [End]
     
  • Re: Can't have sex at night   by AskMelissa  8y   2,380
     
    What time at night do you normally have sex? I usually recommend that couples have sex before 11pm, as the adrenal glands can go into overdrive if we are active beyond that time. If you must have sex late at night, a strong cup of chamomile tea immediately afterward (two tea bags per cup steeped for 10 minutes) can be helpful in calming down your system so you can get some sleep. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: am I addicted?   by AskMelissa  8y   2,580
     
    It doesnít sound like youíre addicted - just missing the sexual connection you didnít have with your ex. You may find that your sexual energy goes through cycles, and thatís perfectly normal. Just go with the flow, and see your sexual appetite as healthy. If your current partner does not have similar sexual needs, discuss that with him and become comfortable with self-pleasuring when heís not available. ... ... Melissa   [End]
     
  • Re: sex sucks   by AskMelissa  8y   3,067
     
    Most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. You are not alone. The clitoris has thousands of nerve endings on it, which make stimluation extremely pleasurable. Try experimenting with what you like clitorally by yourself and then invite your partner to participate. Thereís nothing shameful about it, and it can add more variety to your sexual menu. As far as penetration goes, try different positions and see which gives you the most pleasure and the least discomfort. Sitting on top of your partner is usually less stressful to the bladder. Lying on your side is another great posit ...   [retrieve this message]
     
  • Can't have sex at night   by #51313  8y   2,838
     
    Hi Melissa, ... ... Iím so glad there is a forum to which I can finally ask this question! ... ... I canít have sex at night, and itís ruining my sex relationship. For one, it wakes me up and I always have a terrible sleep afterwards, if at all, which then means I canít work properly the next day and feel exhausted. Two, I rarely even feel like it. The only time I do feel like it is in the morning, which is not very practical, and will be an even greater issue when I have kids. Do you have any suggestions as to why and how I can improve this? ... ... Thanks so much!   [End]
     
  • sex sucks   by #65693  8y   3,366
     
    I am not able to experience any pleasure during sex with my boyfriend. I am a 20 something female, but vaginal penetration does nothing for me. Maybe Iím a clit girl? Either way, I donít think I have a g spot, or if I do itís a bad one. I donít feel like my bf or I should have to stimulate the clit during sex. Sometimes sex even hurts, the penis seems to hit my bladder and is painful but I try to go on. Am I the only one in this position? I feel like every other woman loves sex.   [End]
     
  • am I addicted?   by #18637  8y   2,866
     
    Iím a 43-yr-old female and I was married for 18 years. I considered sex disgusting most of my life and for the last 11 years of my marriage my ex and I never had sex. Most of the time didnít even sleep in the same room, which was fine with both of us. Then I met my current husband. Boy, did things change!!!!! Weíre crazy about each other, and now I want sex and attention all the time. The problem is, he says heís getting older now (he is 43) and canít keep up with me. Am I just making up for lost time or am I addicted? Thanks!   [End]
     

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"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
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