- Up The Creek? Here's An OAR! by #29621
3,214 2 Messages Shown
Blog: Son of Truth of Self
|July 25, 2018 -|
"...All of us broadcast our energy in unique ways. Each one of us has a simple signpost that will immediately let us know if we are delivering static, or producing clear communication."
The above quote is one of many indicators of the evolution of interpersonal communication that is underway now and that will continue as we prepare for a species-wide genetic mutation that will collectively upgrade our ability to communicate in much greater clarity than we have ever known! The mutation will be centered in the Solar Plexus Center where we have potential emotional awareness. This is a most significant key for clear communications due to the impact that our communication has on our own well-being as it requires self-awareness and self-honesty - especially when we are responding to others.
March 30, 2017 -
The "Thought for the day" from the Omraam community brings me insight the light of which requires my clarification on the following post from three and a half years ago.
Omraam syas: "Objective reality does not really exist: for every human being, the only reality is what they live and feel".
The foundational "dyad" for identifying a possible "shared reality"with another individual comes in three parts.
The first part is :
"Tell me something that you think we agree on".
That is the communication cycle that begins the process for identifying shared agreements which is the basis for the "shared reality" that I am referring to in the following post. That "shared reality" may or may not include shared feelings.
The second part of this dyad is: "Tell me something you want me to know".
That is where the individuals can express whatever feelings they may have, or not.
The third and final part of this dyad is: "Tell me something you like about me."
Altogether this dyad is known as the "relating exercise". I most highly recommend it! Just don't expect to have shared emotional or feeling reality with your dyad partner. However, it can happen! Especially if one individual has a defined Solar Plexus Center and the other individual doesn't.
July 11, 2013 -
Anyone familiar with this blog knows that I advocate clear communication. One of the main tools I use and teach is Dyads. Dyads can raise the affinity and shared reality between two individuals.
I see tremendous need to support the understanding of shared reality. It is a "shared reality" that can support affinity and communication. It's the place to start when wanting to communicate with others. I have just now created a new acronym for this purpose. The acronym is "O.A.R." which stands for Objective Agreed Reality.
Start with an objective reality and seek acknowledgement from the other. Imagine you have a need to have your place in order. You have a housemate move in and the space gets filled. Now your place is full of disorder and you are upset. You realize that you need to communicate with your housemate now. I suggest you start by gaining agreement on a shared reality. Pick something objective like how noticeable items are in the space. When your housemate acknowledges the items then you acknowledge the housemate. After that then communicate the subjective items of needs and feelings.
Remember to first start with your O.A.R. before stating your complaint. Otherwise you may be going up (or down) the creek without a paddle!
October 5th, 2013 -
In the last week I suddenly realized that all of my previous posts that speak about conscious, co-creative, complete communications are actually what a real "dialogue" is all about! So from now on I am thinking in terms of "dialogue". Dialogue is a higher form of communication than what may be commonly thought of when people consider what communication is and / or what it consists of. I have blogged on "dialogue" with special mention of a certain professor at Rudolf Steiner College who heads the consciousness studies program there. He has said that "dialogue is the new community" and that we need to learn how to dialogue with one another or otherwise "the door to psychopathy will be open".
I am thinking that we need to build bridges from wherever we may be in our ability to communicate with others (especially in our actual day-to-day practice) and extend those bridges into the higher forms of communication, including dialogue. Now I get to ask a question that I was inspired with earlier today!: Are dyads a link that's required between "communication" and true dialogue? If so then it is my joy to support individuals in adopting dyads in their life and thus prepare their way for the higher forms of communication.
November 10th, 2014 -
I noted within the past day at my "Chef Jemichel" Blog that I had somewhat spontaneously opened up a tote-box of books and named one of those that fits under the over-all banner of that Blog. Now I have one that fits under this Blog's banner: "The Vortex - Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships" by Ester and jerry Hicks. Here is a quote that inspired me to follow-up at this particular blog entry:
“Think—and then evaluate the value of that thought by noticing how it feels; and do that often enough that you know, without question, that you are in alignment—then speak, then act, then interact.”:
I completely connect with my own inner knowingness regarding the truth of this statement. It impresses me to the point that I have made a literal note of it and placed this on top of another tote-box of files, etc. intended for my book on communication. Up till now I had identified three sections for this book. Now I see four sections that each build upon the previous one: Self-Alignment, Communication, Personal Transformation and New Creation.
"For by your finding agreement with the power that flows forth from within you, the harmony that you seek on all other levels and all other subjects—and with all others—will then (and only then) be possible.":
communication, relating exercise, dyad, affinity, reality, objective, agreement, dialogue, consciousness, rudolf steiner, chef jemichel, vortex, self alignment, transformation, thinking, feeling, decision making, new creation, cooperation,
- Re: Up The Creek? Here's An OAR! by Mixologist
|Got reality? -|
Effective communication with another requires sufficient affinity with that individual and sufficient reality. This entry is on the reality part.
I'm inspired to write this after hearing a friend share with me about his upsets in not getting certain respect for his living space from a new housemate who is reportedly filling the space with stuff. My friend knows and practices NVC (to the best of his ability) yet believes that the NVC model is limited when it comes to real life situations and especially when upset emotions have surfaced regarding broken agreements.
I had responded to my friend upon first hearing his report. At that time I told him that communication requires making a real connection with the other individual. "Connection" relates to the "affinity" part of the three most essential parts required to achieve a complete understanding (affinity, reality and communication). Now regaring the reality part.
Understanding requires a shared reailty. If another does not get the reality that you are speaking of there is inevitably going to be a disconnect and as much as they may "wag their head" appearing to agree with you the truth is they don't fully get it (the complete understanding that you want them to have)!
If whatever subject matter can not be made real to the other individual then all the communication efforts will not be complete and / or effective. On the other hand, once there is a shared reality between you and the other individual you will have that reality to build on (toward your goal of achieving an understanding that supports you and in a do-able way for the other individual)!
This is especially true when there are upset emotions involved (as is the case here). Making your upset emotions more real to the other individual may appear to be an effective way to communicate and achieve understanding however, those upset emotions are not the most objective and/or stable enough reality to build a relationship on. If we are talking about building a housemate reltionship then I am reasonably certain that what you really want is the stability that is sufficient to build that relationship. That stability will not be possible based on venting upset emotions because the "reality" of those emotuons will essentially vaporize once they have been vented!
Instead of relying on venting (and I am not saying don't vent) focus on the most objective reality in the situation. In this case the most objective reality is the living space that is inside the house. Consider this.: Get your new housemate to walk with you through the house and have as much of a 3D experience of the space as you can share with that individual. Make it real to their sences of sight, touch, as well as the sence of restricted movement. Then once you have that as a shared reality you will have that to build on along with the communication that you want to give. It may also help to add as much of your affinity with the individual all along while you are presenting the reality part. Then you will have a better connection plus a better base to communicate what you want.
By: Chef Jem
On The Land In the California Republic
and without the "United States"