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Je Rêve de Toi
by JeSuisButterfly

63 blog entries; 17 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 280,564 times
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  • Dream Last Night   by  JeSuisButterfly     15 y     1,980       5 Messages Shown       Blog: Je Rêve de Toi
    I heard a voice that continually repeated,

    "What is best? What is best for you?"

    Messages from a conversation with a wise soul flashed ahead of me. I heard murmuring, lessons being instructed in hushed tones, with the overlapping,

    "What is best for you?? For everyone?"

    All the while, my boyfriend looked behind him, concerned. Worried.. about a result, the ending decision, or something unknown that would catch up to him. He was running without any place to go, there was no change of scenery, but he ran as though fear would be his fleeting chance of escape.

    And I tossed and turned, and for some reason I thought about seaweed, and the voice persisted, and the messages repeated and became more pressing, and he ran and ran and gasped as he choked on that growing darkness...

    _______________________________

    "Darling?"
    'Mmn..'
    "Do you love me?"
    '.... *sigh* Yes..'
    "Do you really want to be with me?"
    '....'

    We bantered about it.. I can't even remember the last sentence that was said. It's okay, I understand.. shh, no no, you don't need to explain. It hurts, sometimes.. Mmn? Yeah, because, I know you're right.
    He pretty much stated I was a failure.. no, it's okay! I've failed in my eyes, too.
    My dad.. he said I was selfish, that I use people. My mom said no one would want to be with me.

    What? What do you mean, 'Do you really believe that?'
    Of course I do - you, of all people should know.. I can't live with myself.

    Hmn? Oh, I don't know. I don't know what I choose to do anymore.. just keep going, I guess. Life is beautiful, we've shared many a moment discussing that. It's just the pain that comes with it. The thing is, it's all just an illusion..

    No, it's odd - it's like his identity just disappeared. Yeah, perhaps you're right.. I think he's just moving on, thinking things through in life... That's where you've got it wrong, I truly do love him.

    Hey, can I call you back later? I have to let the puppy in. Yeah, he's a sweetheart, but he seems lonely, too.. yeah, I know. Okay, I love you. Tell everyone hello for me!

    Goodbye *click*

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    • you are loved   by  finallyfaith     15 y     622
      hi butterfly,

      reading your journal can be really heartbreaking sometimes. i give you credit for being honest and forthright, most people are not, most hide behind thick walls they have built up around their ego. you come across as one who wears her heart on her sleeve. people who do this are the artists, the lovers, the passonate and wounded souls who never really understand why life is so cruel.

      i do not belong to any religion, but i do know that God is love and that the Eternal Loving Creator cares deeply for every soul he/she/it has created and truely wants the best for us all. The Creator cares for you, loves you, and wants you to heal. The Source of all is willing to help you heal if you just ask and open your heart to healing.

      there are two things i think you would benefit from. one is positive affirmations. speaking out words that are true and beautiful begins to reprogram your mind and your heart away from the hurtful and damaging things that have been said to you by those who were supposed to nurture you but didn't, and towards a truer more real more loving reality. Speak out the affirmations everyday no matter if they seem to be working or not, and soon that energy will begin to manifest in your life.

      say - "i am loved, i am a special and beautiful person, i am being healed from the inside out, The Creator is supplying all my needs." or something else that you think is good. too many people have said too many negative things to you and you believed them, now it is time to start reversing that pattern, and i know you can do it, i am sure you can, i believe in you.

      also check out this site -- http://www.nderf.org

      it is stories about people who have literally died, left their bodies, went to the other side, talked to God and angels, and then came back into their bodies. reading through these accounts always give me hope in desparate times.

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    • As Promised...   by  Lapis     15 y     609
      When you know to the core who you really are, pale filtered love gathered from "out there" in the projected illusive reality will not and cannot sustain. The true love comes from within as it is our core essence that is shone outwards from our source, not collected from the "show."

      So then, as promised, here is Mellon's account of waht I refer to as the most powerful, encompassing, NDE I have run across. It takes into account all the many belief systems (filters) that crop up in NDE's. The main difference is that Mellon actuall died and came back, different that a fleeting death, but a full crossover. Thank goodness Mellon was inquisitive enough to look beyond the filters and assimilate deeper information and knowledge. Enjoy!

      Profound Account
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