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Je Rêve de Toi
by JeSuisButterfly

63 blog entries; 17 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 280,525 times
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  • NEED ADVICE, ..please   by  JeSuisButterfly     15 y     2,490       26 Messages Shown       Blog: Je Rêve de Toi
    **First off, I wrote back to those who gave me comments on the right-hand side of this page. Thank you all so much!!**

    The words are all jumbled in my head. I had an idea of how I was going to lay this out, but it tumbled and crashed.

    My train of thought de-railed. [Copywrite Ika 2004].

    I guess I'll just put out my raw emotions. It's embarrassing for me to admit them, but I know I have before - I just don't wish to face them.

    I emotionally eat. It's a habit I've had for years. I've struggled with 'anorexia, bulimia,' and compulsive eating. Are they really those dis-eases? Or just names for 'low self-esteem'?

    When I stop eating, I find I'm able to go for days without food.. Nono praises me as a 'natural faster'. But the challenge is actually STOPPING the eating. In the past, I always start a fast, but then break it later in the day because I cannot face my emotions - I find the need to stuff myself ill with food to hush their voices.

    Last night Nono had to hold me down because I was practically screaming for food, even though I was beyond full, because I couldn't deal with my emotions. I hit myself physically, over and over, because I was so upset at myself.

    I need to stop eating. My intestines have been painfully swollen for 6 days. I'm sure the pain AND swelling would reduce if I just stopped eating, but I'm too afraid to. I eat until I am STUFFED.. until it hurts so bad I have to lay down.

    .. if anyone could give me advice on how to banish emotional eating forever, I'd really appreciate it.

    Also, one more thing -
    I was told I have microfissures in my intestines, as well as Candida - that fasting would help tremendously.

    I also have a massive parasitical infestation, but Colonix or other parasite cleanses as such are too rough on my intestines.

    Am I supposed to fast AFTER a parasite cleanse? And what Parasite cleanse should I do, then, and for how long?

    Confused, tired.. and extremely full. Actually, I feel a bit nauseous. Like I've swallowed broken glass.

    Anyway, here's some pictures of my progress so far -
    This was me before

    http://curezone.com/upload/Blogs/Resize_of_HPIM0277.jpg

    http://curezone.com/upload/Blogs/Resize_of_HPIM03221.jpg


    This is me now - [Please, no laughing!]

    http://curezone.com/upload/Blogs/469244293_resizel.jpg

    That's the only one I'm willing to share so far.

    I plan to look back on these blog entries with the new me!! [Or maybe I should just continue forward!]

    XOXO,
    ~Papillon

    http://curezone.com/upload/Blogs/HPIM0196.jpg


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    • Bless your heart!   by  vegandanzer     15 y     1,015
      You are absolutely adoroable and gorgeous. Best wishes on your journey. I hope you find peace...

      Blessings
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    • beautiful   by  ren     15 y     911
      Wow you're really pretty!!!! :-)
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    • You are a pretty girl... Lets get to your heart..   by  kerminator     15 y     924

      Don't panic, my dear Lady....  You are young and full of life, so plan to live it correctly...   We can work on your problems, and we all have them so start to follow the good council of your friends...

      You can try Co Q10, and take a good amount , this is not harmful and does relieve parasites, plus get your mouth up to par, with good bacteria...   Look up the topic on the forums and see what has been used...   There are many things to help...

      Just do not go and do anything rash...  Help is only a few blogs away...  See Ya K

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    • Health Through Balance   by  Dazzle     15 y     861

      Everything In Moderation

         Because life is short, the temptation to overindulge is ever-present. We want to glean as much pleasure as possible from everything such as what we eat or what we do. Or, conversely, we are so driven to stay healthy or be successful that we throw ourselves into exercise or work with abandon. But the true means of achieving what you want lies not in overdoing it, but in moderation. A balanced life does not lean in one direction, but contains a measure of each element: work and play; friends, family, and solitude; pleasure and abstinence; and necessities and indulgences. The ancient Greeks practiced moderation in all things, believing that in excess, virtues became vices. And so it is. Things that benefit your body and soul in one amount, whether it is medication, nutrients, forethought, or introspection, can be harmful in higher amounts.

      The concept of moderation is embodied in the middle ground between all extremes and is thus a source of steadiness. It is simply the capacity to exercise self-control. Living moderately often means forgoing short-term pleasures in favor of deeper, long lasting happiness and considering all aspects of your actions. It also means never categorizing anything in terms of 'always good' or 'always bad.' Sleeping in for hours may seem a wonderful idea until you consider the daytime lost and the difficulty you may have sleeping later. Avoiding all sweets feels like the healthiest choice, but may not be if it's making you feel deprived. A strong sense of thrift can become stinginess just as a strong sense of generosity can become a tendency to spend beyond your means. The benefits of moderation are said to be a healthy body, a clear mind, increased vigor, and a welling up of positive emotions.

      Moderation eschews rigid control in favor of allowing you just enough of any one thing for it to be satisfying, but not enough for it to be detrimental. Thus, it unlocks a healthy lifestyle without denying any pleasures, any ambitions, or your changing will, through equilibrium and equanimity in all things. Living a balanced life leads to rewarding experiences that not only heal and nurture, but can also fulfill you to a fantastic degree.

      ~ DailyOm

       

       
      ButterFly,
      I not only see a most beautiful young lady, very pleasing to the eye, but also a person full of vitality and spunk.  I don't understand how you can improve upon what we are seeing in all of your photographs. 
      I think you need to look within and cease bothering about what you see on the outside.  Your perceptive will always reflect what you see inside yourself.  As long as you embrace negative thoughts towards yourself, you will perceive yourself as negative and will consistently find reasons to wage inner wars.  But when you change your negative attitudes into positive emotions and thoughts, then your perspective towards yourself will soar like the beautiful butterfly you are. 
      And then you will see what we see in those photographs.
      Much Love,
      ~ Dazzle
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    • Your True Inner Voice   by  Dazzle     15 y     844

      Finding Encouragement
       

         Within each of us, there are numerous voices often that compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when their messages are all quite different, sometimes conflicting, and even alluring. One voice, however, is the speaker of truth. Among all your inner voices, your true inner voice is the one which encourages you, gives you hope, and pushes you to trust and believe in yourself. Conflict within oneself is often caused by dueling voices inside of each one of us. As we move through life, we get mixed messages from the various aspects of ourselves. Some of our voices, such as the naysayer or saboteur, can speak so loudly that they drown out the voice of truth. Listening to your true inner voice - often the voice of understanding, support, and self-assurance - can help lessen and even resolve internal conflict.

      If you're looking toward the future but your faith in your ability to succeed in life is wavering, you will benefit from finding and listening to your true inner voice. You can connect with it by remaining relaxed and alert, while listening carefully. If you have trouble distinguishing your true voice from the others, meditation may be helpful. You may hear many voices as you meditate, but the one you should pay attention to is the one that speaks to you with love, understanding, and compassion. It will bolster your spirits and urge you to go after your dreams. And it will never cause confusion, remind you of past mistakes, or cause you to doubt yourself.

      The more you listen to and believe in what your true inner voice is telling you about your value and your potential, the stronger that voice will become. And the more you disregard the voices that can interfere with your resolve to succeed, the quieter those voices will become. Saying no to the voices that are judgmental and make you feel ashamed will help you stop being critical of your failures and afraid of success. By finding and strengthening your true inner voice, you will be able to ignore internal conflict and pick out the one that speaks the truth.

      ~DailyOm 


       

      It just takes practice in truly listening.

      Much Love,
      ~ Dazzle

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      • Re: Your True Inner Voice   by  edulearner     6 y     672
        Scientific terms are always a veneer to console humans when it comes to spirits. In truth, its really the supernatural... Can't be telling lies your whole life denying these things. They're everywhere making voices, not just in you. Sleep paralysis, its really spirit force on top of you... I've whacked it with my forearm even though my whole body was stuck. Theres really something on top. Don't sugarcoat these spirits, it makes them bolder because humans don't recognise them. EXPOSE THEIR EXISTENCE AND YOUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY.

        Some have low BIPOLAR intensity (can cure), others have absolute BIPOLAR intensity (maybe can cure). Some have super scary BIPOLAR intensity (cannot cure) that will scare your balls out to the death.

        Docs call it type 1 and 2. I call it type 100 if you're looking for the real deal... The real deal i cannot say too much, but its never your brain, body that is dysfunctional. Its these invisible things doing harm to humans.


        In fact one is inflicted with much invisible forces from the other side. Some are aware. others are not. Some know and keep mum. All of us have the duty to speak up about the voice. Deep down only oneself will know......Too much occult activities in the past? New age jumbo mambo, palmistry? astrology? iching, rune? tarot perhaps????? Even religion.

        Having done some bad things in life can also be one reason... Nobody will admit this though. DON'T DENY ANYMORE THESE SPIRITS... THEY'RE COMING FOR PAYBACK ON HUMANS,,,, LOOK AT THE WORLD....

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    • Seeking Advice From Yourself   by  Dazzle     15 y     856

      Inner Guides

          Since we probably know ourselves better than anyone else does, then we may very well be the best person to ask for advice when we are in a quandary. One interesting exercise is to try asking for advice from your past and future selves. There is the younger self that you used to be and the older, more mature self that you will become. You can gain a different perspective when you view present situations through your younger self's eyes or your mature self's more experienced point of view. Perhaps, your younger self would view a current dilemma in a more innocent, less cynical way. Likewise, your older, hopefully wiser, self may offer advice from a more compassionate, experienced perspective.

      Think back to how you viewed the world when you were younger. What were your thoughts on happiness, love, and injustice? Think about how you would have reacted to a dilemma you are currently facing. The perspective may shed a different light on relationships, money matters, or life decisions. Likewise, think about the person you will become. A more mature version of you might mull a problem or conflict over carefully before taking action right away... or perhaps not. Maybe your older self would be more willing to take risks, care less about what other people think, and want to enjoy life more.

      You can even set up an advisory panel of your past, present, and future selves. You might even want to try to have a written dialogue with your selves to record the thoughts, feelings, and advice that your younger and older selves might have for your present self regarding a current situation. Your different selves can give you some invaluable answers. After all, no one can know you better than your selves. You are your wisest guide.

      ~ DailyOm 


       
      Just some more intriguing insights to ponder and play with.  Maybe you can put them all together and create a new way of believing...
      Much Love,
      ~ Dazzle

       


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    • what advice taken?   by  finallyfaith     15 y     904
      hi butterfly,

      i think a lot of people have given you some really great advice on this forum. which pieces of advice have you taken and put into practice, and how affective did it prove to be?

      ff
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    • Butterfly is you   by  But God     15 y     1,022
      Hello sweetie,

      I just want you to know, you've definitely come out of your cocoon. You are a beautiful lady. I'd send you some pictures, but my butt is to big to fit the screen :) what a beautiful smile. I want you to just enjoy life, iff you have to say it to yourself EVERDAY when you wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror when you first wake up (look in you own eyes) and say TODAY I'm going to enjoy life. You mind (spirit) will get the message and your body will follow. I pray for results, now, I'm praying.

      Enjoy, your already a BUTTERFLY
      But God
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    • Hi Cutie   by  moneynow     15 y     897
      Your boyfriend is one lucky guy.
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    • Le papillon est-il blessé? :(   by  #58095     15 y     1,020
      Le papillon est-il blessé? :(

      What are the signs and symptoms of anorexia?

      Avoidance of eating

      Denies feeling hungry

      Avoids social gatherings where food is involved

      Develops food rituals that allow for eating very little: eats in secrecy, eats foods in a certain order, excessive chewing, rearranges food on the plate, eats unnaturally small amounts of food.

      Dramatic weight loss

      Refuses to maintain the minimal normal body weight for age and height

      Denies the serious consequences of low body weight

      Obsession with dieting and weight loss

      Weighs self several times a day and focuses on the smallest fluctuation in weight

      Terrified of gaining weight or being fat

      Even when thin, sees self as overweight

      Bases self-worth on body weight and body image

      Excessive focus on an exercise regimen

      The classic form of anorexia (restricting type) involves weight loss through self-starvation and excessive exercise. In another form of anorexia, the individual not only cuts calories, but also behaves similarly to the bulimic: bingeing on foods, and then purging. With the symptoms of both anorexia and bulimia, an individual is considered to have anorexia of the Binge-Eating/Purging type.

      A person with a family member who has anorexia is more likely to develop anorexia.
      --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      The effects of anorexia

      Anorexia nervosa can have severe medical consequences. Because the anorexic individual does not consume enough calories or nutrients to support the maintenance and growth of the body, all body processes slow down, to conserve energy. This slowing down has serious physical, emotional, and behavioral effects.

      Loss of menstrual periods

      Dry, brittle bones due to significant bone density loss (osteoporosis)

      Dry, brittle nails and hair; or hair loss

      Lowered resistance to illness

      Hypersensitivity to heat and cold

      Bruises easily

      Appears to need less sleep than normal eaters

      Digestive problems such as bloating or constipation

      Muscle loss and weakness

      Severe dehydration, which can result in kidney failure

      Fainting, fatigue, and overall weakness

      Eventual growth of a downy layer of hair (lanugo) all over the body, including the face (the body is trying to stay warm)

      In severe cases: heart trouble, low blood pressure, low heart rate, low body temperature, poor circulation, anemia, stunted growth, and even death
      -------------------------------------------------------
      Emotional and Behavioral Effects

      Difficulty in concentrating on anything else except weight

      Isolation from family and friends

      Emotional regression to a child-like state

      Irritability

      Feelings of guilt and depression

      -----------------------------------------------------------------

      The Butterfly

      there was once a beautiful butterfly,
      it would flutter its perfectly patterned,
      wings high in the blue open sky.
      every other butterfly would cry out,
      'how pretty you are'
      and even from afar only she was seen,
      delicately dancing in the breeze.
      yet this poor butterfly was not at ease.
      it was lonely for its beauty isolated it,
      alone it would fly alone it would cry,
      butterfly tears dropping down upon,
      the jealous land below.
      even with its beauty,
      it was not happy,
      and craved to return to its original self,
      a catterpillar, anomonoyous and free
      from natures vanity.
      and so one day it flew away from
      its little leaf,
      to find the forest queen,
      and enable its dream of exceptance
      come true.
      after many miles of blue sky,
      the butterfly came to the forests queen tree,
      after hearing the butterfly's plea,
      the queen grantted its anomonity,
      and the butterfly was free,
      for it was now a catterpillar,
      and as it crawled away,
      slowly,
      a beetle said hello,
      and a ant said hello,
      and the catterpillar cried
      catterplillar tears of happiness.

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