Codependency: The Curable Addiction
by randigfine
Page 1 of 4

When Our Heart Compels Us To Make Difficult Choices    9 y  
It isn’t always easy to do something that we feel in our heart is the right thing to do. Often we find that a difficult decision we felt compelled to act upon is unpopular and met with judgment, hostility, and reprimanding by those that are not even personally affected by our actions.
 
It isn’t always easy to do something that we feel in our heart is the right thing to do. Often we find that a difficult decision we felt compelled to act upon is unpopular and met with judgment, hostility, and reprimanding by those that are not even personally affected by our actions. Those outsiders, who are reacting this way, fail to see the immense amount of weighing, processing, and pain we have already put ourselves through before finding the courage to make such a difficult choice. We should never have to justify our personal decisions, but sometimes we feel unfairly ...   read more



 
The Reward of Pushing Against the Tide    9 y  
If we choose to give up, it is only because we allow fear to stand in our way. Giving up is easy but there is no reward, no personal growth attached to it.
 
The number one reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have gotten.” ~ Vaibhav Shah When I first read this quote it rang true for me; I think we all can relate to it in some way.  But then I found myself reading it over and over again.  Although it is a true and relatable statement, something about it seemed odd.  Why do we tend to feel this way? There is much in life that exists that is intangible.  Faith is the belief in something we can’t see, but those of us that ha ...   read more



 
"The Backgammon Game" - Illuminating a Dysfunctional Relationship   9 y  
“Relationships don’t just happen. They take work.” I don’t know exactly where I heard that advice but the concept had stuck to my psyche like burs to a cotton sock.
 
Excerpted from my Memoir, Fine...ly: My Story of Hope, Love, and Destiny Chapter Twenty-One: The Backgammon Game     “Relationships don’t just happen. They take work.” I don’t know exactly where I heard that advice but the concept had stuck to my psyche like burs to a cotton sock. I’m pretty sure I misconstrued the guiding principle though because my interpretation evolved into, “Relationships are burdensome and backbreaking. Like war they are only won with blood, sweat, and tears!”    I had taken on ...   read more



 
More Than Meets the Eye   9 y  
Learning to pay attention to and link the things that occur on a daily basis can be a way for us to become more attuned to the fact that most everything happens in our lives for a reason – even when that reason is not clear right away.
 
FROM THE DAILY OM: http://www.dailyom.com Synchronicity may appear random, but at closer look you will see that the universe is giving what you asked for. When events appear to fit together perfectly in our lives it may seem at first that they are random occurrences, things that are the result of coincidence. These synchronous happenings, though, are much more than that, for, if we look at them more closely they can show us that the universe is listening to us and gently communicating with us. Learning to pay attention to and link the things that occur on a daily basis ...   read more



 
Have You Ever Asked, "Why Don't Others Ever Appreciate What I Do For Them?"    9 y  
"Why don't others ever appreciate what I do for them? Why do I always find myself being taken advantage of?
 
Many of us do not understand the importance of having emotional “boundaries” in our interpersonal relationships. Many of us do not even understand what the term “boundaries” means in that context. And many of us do not even know whether the emotional boundaries in our life are healthy or not. This concept was foreign to me for the first forty years of my life. When a therapist explained to me that the problems I was experiencing stemmed from undefined emotional boundaries, I thought she was way off the mark. It turns out that she was right on it. Health ...   read more



 
How I Found Faith   9 y  
I tried to find a source of strength outside of my being to help me. I completely drew a blank, though I’d go through the motions of prayer hoping that someone would hear me. But that didn’t give me much comfort.
 
I was brought up in a Jewish, kosher home. Our family life revolved around Judaism. My grandfather was an Orthodox Cantor. I went to Hebrew School three times a week for six years and became a Bat Mitzvah. Even our kitchen clock had hebrew letters instead of numbers. Although the traditions of my religion are deeply embedded in me and are comfort zones, I have had to ask myself why Judaism never filled me spiritually or gave me a source of strength to believe in. Jewish people don’t talk about God the way people of other faiths do. God is so highly revered in Judaism that he is ...   read more



 
Navigating the Uncertainty of Life   9 y  
There are many times in life when we find ourselves walking in the dark–faithfully moving forward but unsure of where we are heading or what obstacles we will bump or stumble on along the way.
 
There are many times in life when we find ourselves walking in the dark–faithfully moving forward but unsure of where we are heading or what obstacles we will bump or stumble on along the way. The only way to navigate through the uncertainty of life is to have faith in something greater than ourselves. Some call that source God, some refer to it as their Higher Power, and some look to The Universe. What we name the object of our faith doesn’t matter. Whether we find faith through religion or through our own design doesn’t matter. Having a source for our faith is the ...   read more



 
Knowing What Our Future Holds   9 y  
What is the destiny that awaits each of us? Do we really want to know?
 
All of us want to look forward to the prospect of a life that’s new and exciting. When we’re hurting, we want to know when there will be a brighter day. We all want to believe in a future that is better than the life we are living right now, as if that would make us happier and more content. But aren’t we far better off focusing on the present moment where our choices exist, rather than the unknown future? The only moment we have control over is this moment. What we do today determines what our life holds tomorrow. We can’t change the future or the past because ...   read more



 
Coping With the Aftereffects of a Failed Relationsip   9 y  
Understanding why you continue to ruminate about your partner long after the relationship is over may help you to rescue yourself by imposing damage control so that you won't act out in ways that could hurt yourself.
 
I found this article and want to share it with my Curezone readers. It is well very written and offers tremendous insight into understanding codependency. ______________________________ In Psychology Today, By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D on March 12, 2010 Thinking about your failed relationship is similar to replaying scenes from a movie in your mind. Replaying the scenes from the good times in your relationship can lead you to continue grieving or to grieve anew for what you no longer have. Your ruminations about the failed relationship can take on an obsessiv ...   read more



 
My Personal Journey of Recovery   9 y  
My aspiration through the sharing of my story is to offer hope, encouragement, and enlightenment to the millions of people who currently suffer alone in their darkness, lost in a maze of confusion and despair. My message is to hold on; that a brighter day is on the horizon.
 
Prologue from my memoir Fine...ly: My Story of Hope, Love, and Destiny I believe that there are divine reasons for the pregnant pauses in our lives; the times when our life seems to come to a screeching halt and we are rendered powerless over it. Those are the times we should pay especially close attention, for those junctures may be the most profound times in our lives. Though painful, those intervals cause us to sit quietly and come face to face with our true selves. They provide tremendous opportunities for our spiritual growth. Despair is a lonely, desolate place we’ve al ...   read more



 
The Difference Between Kindness and Codependency   9 y  
It is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between co-dependency and kindness. Here are some ways to tell the difference.
 
This is a very beneficial article about codependency that I found so Id like to share it. By Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D. “I just want to show people I love that I care, but I end up feeling resentful when they don’t do the same for me in return. If only people were as considerate toward me as I am toward them, I’d be a lot happier, and feel more secure. Something just isn’t right.” Being of help to those you love can be very healthy and rewarding. Many books have addressed the issue of co-dependency, but it is sometimes difficult to tell the differenc ...   read more



 
Acknowledging Our Pain, Rescuing The Rescuer   9 y  
Sometimes the strong desire to help and rescue others is actually a call to help our own deep seated pain.
 
Sometimes the strong desire to help and rescue others is actually a call to help our own deep seated pain. Some people seem called to help others, often from very early on in their childhoods, responding to the needs of family members, strangers, or animals with a selflessness that is impressive. Often, these people appear to have very few needs of their own, and the focus of their lives is on rescuing, helping, and healing others. While there are a few people who are truly able to sustain this completely giving lifestyle, the vast majority has needs that lie beneath the surface, unme ...   read more



 
Emotional Boundaries In Relationships   9 y  
A successful relationship is composed of two individuals each with a clearly defined sense of her or his own identity. How clear are your emotional boundaries in adult relationships?
 
The writing of my memoir, Finely, has taken me on an dazzling journey of introspection. When I began the project I had no idea how much I’d learn about myself in the process. In order to offer an honest, compelling story that will fulfill my mission of helping others to heal, I spent a great deal of time researching related topics. The wealth of knowledge that I gleaned from articles written by experts in their fields has given me an invaluable understanding of the bigger picture. I hope to pass that knowledge on to my readers. One of the articles I stumbled upon on a Google searc ...   read more



 
You Are Telling Me That I Chose This Crazy Life? Impossible!   9 y  
Have you ever asked yourself, "What am I doing all this for? Why is life such a struggle?"
 
Have you ever asked yourself, Why am I trying so hard. What am I doing all this for? I am fascinated by life after life accounts. Ive read a multitude of books written by reputable spiritual mediums and have attended their seminars. I have personally communicated with loved ones that have crossed over. As far as Im concerned, there is not a shadow of a doubt that our life continues after we leave here. We are souls housed within a human body. It is said that only the bravest souls make the choice to come to Earth school. Our ultimate spiritual, eternal goal is the growth of o ...   read more



 
Self Love Verses Self-Inflicted Guilt   9 y  
Learn to love yourself and break free from the cycle of self-punishing guilt feelings.
 
Why are so many of us able to offer kindness and compassion to others, but not to ourselves? One of the most damaging ways in which we tend to abuse ourselves is through feelings of guilt. Often this tendency was inflicted upon us in childhood–many of us have been disciplined through the use of guilt tactics and it has become ingrained in our thinking process. Good, well-intended people fall prey to this kind of self-abuse most often because by nature they are more concerned with other’s feelings than they are with their own. These kind, compassionate people would never dr ...   read more



 
How to Move on With Life When You Are Hurting    9 y  
Learn how to acknowledge your emotional pain, and then move forward.
 
I’ve discussed this thought in previous articles, but this time I’ll state it in the form of an affirmation: “There is a reason of greater good for everything that happens.” Acknowledging that there is a greater good doesn’t necessarily soften the impact or subdue the suffering. But it does give meaning to our pain and offers us the prospect of a positive outcome. It also serves to open our eyes, look for the deeper meaning, and recognize the signs of change as they appear. We’ve all experienced victimization. That does not mean we have to live ...   read more



 
Is Codependency Affecting Your Life and Your Relationships?   9 y  
Are you always trying to please others while putting your own feelings and needs on the back burner. Do you believe that you are in control of your life, but your life is out of control?
 
Your healing begins once you recognize and acknowledge your codependent actions. The list from the website below clearly illuminates the codependency behavior: EXCERPTED FROM: Night Vision for Women -My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you. -My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you -Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems/relieving your pain. -My mental attention is focused on you. -My mental attention is focused on protecting you. -My mental attention is focused on manip ...   read more



 
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Inspiration and tools for those needing help and support, caught in the trap of codependency. Uplifting thoughts to inspire and motivate all who seek a healthier, more productive life. more...

Last Activity: 3 y ago
69 Messages   Last message 5 y ago
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Created: 9 y   Jan 09 2011

Comments (8 of 10):
Re: Radiant Heart TomCh 3 y
Re: Some Situation Wanto 6 y
Re: Healing the Em ivyro 9 y
Re: What Is Our Pu richa 9 y
Re: The Memoir Whi kermi 9 y
Re: Forgiveness Me kermi 9 y
Re: When Our Heart #1382 9 y
Re: The Reward of miata 9 y
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