What I Really Want In Community
A golden realization while visiting an "Intentional Community", followed by a golden transformation!
Date: 3/31/2008 12:05:02 AM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 1562 times
Life is full & especially these days since I've left where I had been living (this past year) and now am visiting friends between my travels! I have arrived at an Intentional Community (that will remain nameless in this Blog entry). This is one that I have lived in on a few occasions over the years since the late 80's. What a change I have seen here since my last stay nine years ago! Briefly, the overall upkeep has fallen to the lowest level I have ever known! It has taken me some time to generally accept the change! I spoke about it with my friend who is the resident manager (and some of the others here) saying I wanted to uplift everything but also realized that if I were to actually take that on it could be an overwhelming task! We all agreed it would not be a good thing for me to be overwhelmed. I did claim I would take on the kitchen as my house chore (while I'm visiting here). I have done some additional cleaning besides my own personal use of the kitchen and although it's comparatively little (in light of all the cleaning that I see is needed) it is something.
I have been staying in a tent with the understanding that I'd be awaiting for a certain room to open here. Today I told my manager friend that I did not want the current renter of this particular room to be "encouraged" to leave in any way. I said I wanted to allow that individual to have all their own freedom as to when they want to let go of the room rather than be "nudged on" even though the renter had apparently expressed an intention to vacate within the next month. It was a good thing that I have spoken this as the manager was under the impression that I wanted the renter to be "encouraged" to move! I told my friend that I withdraw any impression in that direction.
Then this afternoon I spoke with another renter here and got the best feedback and validation about the feelings I have held close to me since making my current observations! It is now clear to me that I will not be moving into this community household at this time. There is not only all the unmet needs in upkeep of the appearance of this place there are many other unattended needs here as well. But beyond all that is the golden realization that what I most want is not here ...
and that, dear friends, is community!
Speaking this is rather radical for me, given that the place has been identified as an Intentional Community that is literally "on the map"! I have yet to tell my manager friend about this realization (only out of respect to the fact that my friend has pressing matters to attend to for the next couple days)! I'm intending to speak my truth as of Wednesday. I would like to report back here as of Thursday with an update.
What I really want ... is to live on a sustainable Biodynamic farm, in a house dedicated for healing that includes a production kitchen suitable for producing value-added products as a compliment to what the farm produces. The kitchen would also serve as a training center for new chefs wanting to learn the traditional food ways (including lacto-fermentation, bone broths, proper preparation of grains, cultured dairy products and more)! The community household I am visiting clearly does not match my vision at this time. It may have the possibility in the future but I am not going to "wait" here to see whether or not that's going to happen!
My search will continue. In the meanwhile I will be most grateful about my vision, knowing that (as Abraham-Hicks has said) I have launched my rockets of desire! The Universe has heard and the manifestation process has begun. I have everything to be thankful for now! And so it is!
November 28, 2012
Four years and about eight months later:
I left my initial visit of the above "community"/household and visited with my folks for 51 days. Then I returned to the above household and have been there ever since. I had wanted to leave several times. After three years of sleeping in the tent I finally moved into the main house. Then, over the course of the last year my relationship with the house transformed.
I am now for all practical purposes the onsite "houseman". About six weeks ago I took up the leadership of major house repairs that I had identified four years ago. This week I am anticipating finishing my individual preparations for the final repairs at the front of the house that includes filling all the gaps, healing all the cracks in the foundation with epoxy, putting in a drain across the front of the house to divert all the ground rainwater away from the foundation and putting up rain gutters. I have put in about 60 hours of preparation work for this so far. I only got the project approved by the owners as of a day or so ago. If I had the money I would have bought my own materials. However, that was when I had thought I could have an upgraded/larger room. That's not going to happen because I am not paying rent with cash I am trading hours for rent. So I have the smallest room in the house on a trade basis. (Fortunately I am not a giant or unable to lower my head as needed in this room!)
I have come to care about this place that I saw needed care over 4 1/2 years ago. I am the one whom I have been waiting for! I am so looking forward to having the front of the house finished in the next week or so and hopefully before the rains come. It is my top priority now. What a dramatic contrast from when I first re-visited here in March of '08! I was so passive back then and now I am so proactive!
Like Yin and Yang!
I am preparing for a new "bang"!
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