Day 10 was a disaster but new news...
The flesh wants what it wants and it doesn't care if it hurts itself while getting it...Sad!
Date: 11/13/2008 11:18:43 AM ( 12 y ) ... viewed 1911 times
I got up yesterday morning, my 10th day, and drove over to Walmart to get my Tropicana orange juice and didn't even make it out of the parking lot before cracking it open and taking a couple of enormous swigs, LOL! I did okay for most of the day but then when night fell, I wanted something to chew on.
I was at my mother in laws house and she had some roasted and salted sunflower kernels. You know the kind in the individual size pack. Yum, yum. Sunflower kernels never tasted so good but that just started the ball to running on what I would eat later.
I left her house headed for some place to get some food but just couldn't make up my mind. I was so crazy about getting something to eat that I couldn't think straight. Sad but true!
Finally, I decided on Taco Bell. I don't even really eat Taco Bell but it sounded so good at the time. I got me a 7-layer burrito which was not what I remember from years and years ago. It was so puny. Anyway, I also got the side tortilla chips and cheese.
I ate it alright but I would have been much more satisfied had I just gone over to Qdoba or Chipotle's like I started to.
I awoke feeling like a failure. I let my flesh get the best of me. I let it have it's way and that's the whole reason I'm overweight and unhealthy in the first place. Usually, when I feel helpless, the first thing I do is pray for strength but apparently I didn't know I was helpless or just didn't care because prayer never entered my mind. Again, sad but true.
Well, I've decided that I'm not going to be a failure. I'm going to give it my all and go for 10 more days starting today. However, since I can't stomach the lemonade I'm going to juice instead. Of course, my flesh is cringing at the thought of this but something outside of my flesh has to prevail or I fear I will die a fat, old, sick woman someday and that is not an option. For one I'm just too cute to be overweight or sick. I'm 39 years old and have had no real sicknesses and I would like to keep it that way if the Lord is willing and says the same. Got a feeling that he's willing.
Well, if you pray, please pray for me because like many, I need all I can get.
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