Day 15 of Water Fast
My daily Journey to a healthier life style
Date: 4/21/2011 4:40:07 PM ( 9 y ) ... viewed 1411 times
April 11, 2011
My night was okay. I felt a bit restless, but since I stayed up so late, it does really help me feel more rested, if I keep my amount of sleep to about 5 hours. I am sure this is due to me not having to have as much sleep, as my body is constantly burning fat and working to detoxify my body.
I have noticed that at time, my tongue doesn't seem to be as white as usually, but then it might be that in the morning it has had less time to form there since the last time I brush it (before bed).
I have noticed that Mekong doesn't like it that I have been coming home late, because that gives her less time to spend with me in bed. That probably is the reason why it is hard to get her off of me on some mornings.
My mind wasn't were it should have been, as my thoughts were on the guy. I had a dream about him, and I didn't realize how much my heart missed him until I saw him in my dream. I made me wonder about what he might be doing and if he missed me a little bit like I will admit that I miss him. I realized that he probably doesn't miss me, and he is going on doing what ever he does without a thought of me, as usual. Sigh, it makes my heart a bit heavy. It seems too hard to deal with at this point in time. God knows how much it really grieves me deep inside to know the truth of the guy, just by his action. Sigh.
When I get ready for work, I find myself really having to find something to wear, as some of my clothing is too baggy or big for me. Some of my shirts, as well as my pants. I am no longer wearing a size 10, of course. I don't think I would be able to as they probably would fall off me. I know that a size 8 is quite big on me on as well. I have a favorite pair of pants that are a size 8, and they are too baggy on me now. I am constantly having to pull them up if I wear them, as they slide on my hips now like the 10 were doing at first. So now, I am wearing a size 6, which at times feel a bit big on me as well. I haven't dug out my size 4 pants yet. They are deep in my closet in a sweater box, as I didn't get rid of them when I gained weight again. The last time I was wearing a size 4 was at least 6 year ago, when I did my 55 day water fast.
Well, I have decided that I will go through my wardrobe and get rid of any clothing that I haven't worn for months, or even years. I have a lot of clothing, as I tend to be a clothes horse, as I love fashion. I also realized that I should try to wear clothing that fits me, then going baggy, as I have in the past.
During my lunch, I went to the library to check out some books. I have been wanting to start quilting again, so I thought looking through books would give me inspiration. I also looked at garden books as well, to get me all hyped up on starting my garden. No, I haven't started my seeds yet, but I will plant them either on Tuesday or Wednesday, as I have it on my calendar to do. I love using my calendar on my phone now.
Christy, her son and I were planning on going to the Library's 125 birthday party, but Christy decided not to, as she had a headache. I was a little bit disappointed, as I was really looking forward to it. I realize that I could have went by myself, but it would have been more fun with Jesse and Christy. So I hung out at Christy's until about 8:30 p.m. I had scheduled to clean/pick up my living room at 8:00 p.m. so I was running late on my own schedule. LOL. Plus, I was really running into issues regarding Christy and her parenting. While I was there, Christy asked her son what he wanted to be when he grew up. I sat there while I watched her try to find out what he was interested in. He was in an argumentative mood, so he told her that he couldn't be a video game creator, like she suggested. He just said that he was too stupid for that. I was shocked, yet I didn't say anything, yet I realized that Christy didn't say anything either. She didn't re-assure him that he wasn't stupid and he could be capable to doing things that he put his mind too. Then later on, Christy found a note in the bathroom, where her daughter (who is 15 years old) left it. She read it, as I did, as did Christy's sister, Sunshine. It was some type of rap, which was really vulgar with full of horrible language. It was dated March 29, 2011 So when her daughter came back from her friend's house, Christy asked about it and she got upset that she read it. Christy told her that she left in the bathroom and she had every right to read it. Then it became an issue to laugh about, as of the lyrics talked about a 10 inch ****. Christy and Sunshine asked about it since from the lyrics, it sounded like she was talking about herself. Well, Brianna is a female, and the lyrics suggested that she was a fella, coin-ing her words. Bri, then told her mother that the lyrics were messed up as she was high at the time she wrote the last part of them. I realized that Christy didn't seem to care that her daughter wrote obscene lyrics and was getting high on March 29th. I realized then Christy and I are so much different when it comes to caring about children or even raising children. I can't say that I have raised a child, but I did help with the guy's son, since he always left him with me at times. I do know that the guy's son was 14 years old, and no where near doing what Christy's daughter does. That is probably because the guy is so controlling with it came to what he allowed his son to do. The perfect case of one extreme to another. GAH!
Driving home, I realized how much my mother instilled in me and my brother, a sense of purpose, as to our future. She nurtured both my brother and my talents, so that we would be lead into a productive future. I remember when I was 15 years old, I was so excited about wanting to be this or be that. I wanted to be a fashion designer and I wanted to be an archaeologist. I didn't become those things, but my mother prepared me for the future as much as possible. She taught me to cook, how to do laundry, to manage my money (to a point), she taught me the importance of finishing a job with the best of my ability, as well as she instilled me that I was smart and worth something, even if no one else felt that way. I realized that Christy doesn't do these things. She makes sure that he has food to eat, and has clean clothing to wear to school, but I never really see her interact with him, except when I have been with them to doing a fun day thing. She is usually on her phone, while he is playing a video game or watching TV. I just realized that she could be and should be molding her son's life, and she isn't doing anything. Driving home I realized how blessed I was to have such a caring mother. I ended up calling her just to tell her that I loved her and thank her for teaching me, loving me and helping me become a productive adult. I told her about the issue with Christy and she said that it was sad, but there was nothing I could do, but just be supportive and help where I could at times. I told my mother that I didn't realized what she was doing then, when she was raising me (as she was very strict when I was a teenager, as she knew what she was doing at that age) but I realize now. And I hope that someday that I will be able to be just as a good parents to my future children as she was with me. When I got off the phone with her, she sounded very teary-eyed by my call. I just hope that it made her happy and not sad.
When I got home, I focused on cleaning/organized my living room (putting my movies way, filing papers away, picking up little things I have left laying around). When I was done around 10:00 p.m., I took a long shower and got into bed. Of course, I turned on a movie (with the sleep cycle on). I spent some time praying, as I have gotten into a habit of praying a bit for people before I spend a little bit of time reading my Bible. Afterwards, I allow myself to read some of book that I have been reading. I have been reading “Brisinger” by Christopher Paolini. I am almost half done with it already. I try to really withhold reading that book until I have read my Bible, so that way I don't over look reading my Bible all together. It is a way that I can reward myself a little bit for reading it,even for 15 minutes.
It was really warm today, so I turned off all my heaters, so they wouldn't kick on at all. I found myself not wanting to use any blankets either. I will probably have to wash a couple of them and put them way for the season. Yeah! Warm weather!
EXERICISE: walked 2.50 Miles,
WATER INTAKE: 32 ounces of water
WEIGHT: 115 pounds
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