Day 28 of Water Fast – Broke fast!
My daily Journey to a healthier life style
Date: 4/29/2011 1:41:35 PM ( 9 y ) ... viewed 2610 times
April 24, 2011
Happy Easter! I have to say that this has been one of the happiest moments for me in a long time. I had a good time last night, even thought I was out very very late, but I was still up in time to go to church! Part of me wanted to sleep in, but the most of me wanted to go to church. LOL.
I got up and got ready. I wasn't certain what I would wear. I wasn't planning on wearing a dress, as I haven't been much of a dress wearer for years. I find myself comparing myself to other women in dresses. I have had to check myself in
So I wore this little summer dress that I haven't been able to wear in a while. The last time I tried it on was August 2009 when I was going to by driving to get the guy from Texas. I wanted to look pretty for the guy, but that dress didn't fit, so I wore a different one to pick him up in.I wasn't able to fit it because the side zipper wouldn't go up. You can say that I have had that problem, as I had a small layer of back fat that prevented it. I know that it sounds horrible to say that I had it. I remember when I told Christy weeks ago that my back fat was gone. She said “You had fat on your back?” She said it as if she was surprised by it. I guess back back isn't as prominent as belly fat. Well, because it was gone, I was able to wear the dress. It was mostly bright pink with colorful yellow, red, salmon and blue colored paisley. It is a strappy dress, so I wore a light salmon colored cardigan over it. I wore light hose and cream colored high heals. Wow, a first in a long time. I have to say that I felt very beautiful on such a misty morning.
I got to church a little bit early, so I called my mother to wish her a happy Easter. I got my Aunt's answering machine, so I left a message wishing them a Happy Easter and such. I found a place, where I usually sit (in the back) and waited for it to start. I sat there watching families connect with others. I honestly thought about if I had my own family, what it might be like. I watched couples. There are several married men that I admire in the church, which I have always felt bad that I admire them. I admire them, because I can only hope that I might find a Godly husband like those various men. They sing, praise and stand up to their beliefs within the church. The women they are married to are very blessed. Of course, I don't know these guys very well. I just admire them from a far. I even admire my pastor, as someday I hope that when I am much older that I might have a marriage and a close-ness like the one my pastor has with his wife. I kind of silently asked God to find me a Godly man in the church. I almost said "Christian" man, but I realized in the guy's case (as he always stated that he was a Christian, yet it didn't show much), I wanted a more "Godly" man, then just a "Christian" one. I felt a little bit bad praying such a selfish prayer, but I know that I should ask, so I might receive. So I swallowed my pride and my hesitation, and asked God to guide a Godly man of His choosing in my life.
I did find out the name of the song that captivated me. It is called “You were on the Cross” by Matt Maher. It must be a new song as I haven't heard it on the Christian radio station yet, but it is really captivating. What shook me the most, was during the instrumental part of the choirs, was the loud pounding that scared me at first, until I realized what it was. It was sound of Jesus getting nailed to the cross. I really wanted to cry as the song just hit so much in my soul. The lyrics really hit home with all that I have felt in the last year or so. And I failed to realize that Jesus was with me all along. I guess that is why the lyrics are so moving with me.
Here are the lyrics:
Lost, everything is lost
And everything I've loved before is gone
Alone like the coming of the frost
And a cold winter's chill in my stony heart
And where were You when all that I've hoped for?
Where You when all that I've dreamed?
Came crashing down in shambles around me
You were on the cross
Pain, could you take away the pain?
If I find someone to blame, would it make my life seem easier?
Alone, all my friends are asleep
And I can't find anyone to stay awake with me
Where were You when sin stole my innocence?
Where were You when I was ashamed?
Hiding in a life, I wish, I never made
You were on the cross, my God, my God, alone, alone
You were on the cross, You died for us, alone, alone
You were on the cross, victorious, alone, alone
You were there in all of my suffering
And You were there in doubt and in fear
I'm waiting on the dawn to reappear
“You were on the cross” by Matt Maher
It was really funny as well as a older woman and an elderly lady sat next to me during the service. I was kind of surprised when she tapped me on the arm and started talking to me. She told me that my dress was very pretty and bright. I told her “Thank you” and said that I hadn't been able to wear it for a while, so it was kind of special to wear it today now that I can fit into it. She told me congratulations on being able to wear it again. She then told me that she had read that Spring dresses were coming back and it was nice to see someone wearing one.
There was a lot of singing so I sang along. I have always loved to sing in church. She turned to me again and asked me why I wasn't up there. I told her that I wasn't brave enough to be up there as I was really shy. She just smiled at me. A little bit later, she said that she has some cute, single grandsons, but they live in Kentucky. I wanted to laugh inside that a women would think this, because she probably thinks I am in my late twenties, and not in my late thirties as I am. It still made me feel good that a women such as her would consider me at all. After service was awesome. It did a jazzed up rendition of Handel's Halleluiah chorus I was able to follow most of it, since I am very familiar with the song from preforming it for 3 years in the Marion Civil Choir. They also had some dancers that did a sort of interpreted dance along with one of the songs the choir sang. The women next to me said that her mother (the elderly lady) saw some dancers. I just shook my head, because I didn't see any until they waltzed up front and started dancing. The elderly lady was right and had sharp eyes. Then of course, she was right on the aisle and right next to the door as well. She probably saw one of them come out and then go back in before they went up front. LOL.
During the service the lovely lady that had been talking to me offered me a mint, which I took. I thought I could suck on it at least, even though I was breaking my fast today. I was surprised on sweet it was on my tongue. It made me very thirsty too. After the Easter Service, the lady next to me talked to me a bit and told me that she was visiting from out of town. One of the fellow Christians, that I know my face only (I did find out her name was Ms. Hunt. If I remember right, her husband was one of the interpreted dancers). The nice lady next to me said that she was Mrs. Hunt's Aunt. She I smiled at Mrs. Hunt, as I think she recognized me as well. The lady went on tell Mrs. Hunt what as sweet person I was. I was a little embarrassed because I don't hear things like that much, but still, I was wondering how a woman that doesn't even know me could say that. Since I didn't want to interrupt a family gathering, I excused myself without finding out what the woman's name way. Still I had a great time.
After church, I drove around and decided to go to Panera Bread, since they were open. I thought I could get a little bit of tea and maybe a little bit of juice and enjoy the morning some more. I thought it would be swamp in there, it being Sunday, but it was the opposite. It was very quiet and relaxing. I ended up getting a cup of tea and a small cup of fruit. I could see that it had cantaloupe and melon in it, so I got it. I bought a cantaloupe Friday to break my fast, so I thought I could start off with this. I had brought in my newest book that I was reading. It is called "Sarah- Women of Genesis" by Orson Scott Card. It is really good and I love it So I broke my water fast around 12:45 p.m. Sigh, it was WONDERFUL!. I sat by the window, blowing on my tea and reading my book. I took a small piece of cantaloupe and put it in my mouth. It was heavenly just to suck on! I chewed it slowly. I ate the 4 pieces that were in the fruit cup slowly. I found myself feeling full, even though I didn't eat a whole lot. At times, I looked around and observed other people around me. There were not too many people. I really enjoyed watching out the window seeing people drive by and wonder what holiday fun they might be going to. So I enjoy the rainy Easter day, as I sat there sipping my tea and reading my book until 1:45 p.m. Panera was closing at 2:00 p.m. so I went out to my car and got my change of clothes. I had packed a change of clothes before church, thinking if it wasn't raining and not too wet, I would go to the park. It wasn't raining too much, but it was wet, so at the last minute when I was changing in the bathroom, I decided to go to the Harding memorial and enjoy the sights there while listening to the music. On the way out, I asked if I could freeze a hot cross bun, if I bought one. The clerk told me yes, so I bought one strawberry hot cross bun for a lovely treat later once I get back to really eating normal foods after my re-feeding period. I took that and my fruit cup, and tea out to my car.
I drove to the Harding Memorial, which is on my way home. I turned on my MP3 as I walked around the Memorial. I watched the cars go by and enjoy the scene. I walked around the marble memorial, and was amazed once again how huge and beautiful it was up close. I spent a lot time reflecting on my past dreams of being an artist, and how I enjoyed taking pictures of stuff like the memorial, and find the "beauty" in everything around me. My mother has always called it my "artist" eye. She used to laugh and comment that I found "art" in taking a photo of a dirty sink and a sponge, before I cleaned it. It is funny that I remember that shot, because I did find it a little sliver of art in my everyday life. LOL. Normally, I would have loved to sit down, but since it was the marble was wet, I didn't. I walked around the marble structure, and looked at the variance of it. I even saw a solitary pill bug in my walk around the Memorial. LOL. I even found the Canadian goose that I have seen walking around the site, while I am driving to work. I know that they mate for life, so I wonder how the bird's mate died and if it felt lonely sitting them on the wet grass all alone. It watched me as I watch it. They are such beautiful birds.
I didn't go home until a little bit after 3:00 p.m. I was a little wet and tired. I, of course, didn't go over to Christy's as I knew she had to start work tonight, so she knew that I wouldn't coming over, but I wondered how her day was going. When I got home, put up my MP3 player, put my food way, I shed my wet clothing, got in my pajamas and got in bed. I took some books with me, but I didn't feel much like reading. I put in a movie and watched it. I don't know what time I feel asleep, but all I do know is that when I woke up it was 11:00 p.m. I was thirsty and had to use the bathroom. So I got up got something to drink and used the bathroom and went back to bed. I didn't think I could have possibly get back to sleep but I did.
It was a quick, uneventful yet very wonderful Easter Sunday for me. You can say that I am very happy with my life at this moment in time. That is so different then I was 6 months ago, even 2 months ago. It is a wonderful change.
EXERICISE: walked 1.32 Miles,
WATER INTAKE: 32 ounces of water
WEIGHT: 111 pounds
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