Day 33 of My 60 Day Water Fast
Emotional Roller Coaster
Date: 6/25/2015 7:51:13 AM ( 5 y ) ... viewed 453 times
Maybe it's the lack of sleep, but I've been bawling like a baby since 9 pm PST last night. I called my Ex to work out a time to give him one of the cats and in the process I started to cry about the loss of what we had.
Even though I don't want it back. I know with my whole soul that this break up is the best thing that has happened in 14 years. I see how unhappy I've been and although my culture stays together unhappily to the very end and that's what I was doing I guess I couldn't and I chose me and ended it for both of us.
Why do I mourn the loss of something so bad it consumed me until I became so small that I couldn't see myself anymore. I wasn't even looking anymore. Now I have real hope and a chance at real happiness with someone I'm not a mother, babysitter, and police officer for. I can close my eyes and float, soak in the sun and dream.
But today I cry. Cry for everything and nothing. Cry that one day he will never cross my thoughts. My best worst friend.
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