When it Rains, it Pours
Date: 8/6/2006 1:09:55 PM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 2643 times
Just when I'm on "automatic pilot" in my life and most everything is going relatively smoothly, a bunch of stuff has gone out of adjustment nearly all at once.
Now I know if I intervene where needed and step back where needed, provided that I make the correct determinations as to what is needed where, that things will smooth out again eventually. Soon would be best.
But when a bunch of different stress-inducing situations occur nearly simultaneously, even the strongest among us could be at a loss when it comes to making a snap decision as to how to react in the moment and in the moments that follow the initial moment.
Am I making sense, readers?
We each have a way we retain stewardship in managing our own lives. Some of us take little responsibility, sloughing it off to others around us, blaming parents, brothers, adult children, friends, whoever is convenient to take the blame and responsibility off of us.
But if we look at our own part in an unpleasant situation, and make the very best effort to take responsibility for that part, and correcting any damage that has occurred as a result of our part in it, then momentum is gained toward righting a wrong and we also learn something (ideally) from the process. We cannot force or even really influence others to learn anything they don't want to learn. But we can make choices that bring about great new learning opportunities for us.
I don't know why I'm using the "we" language. Maybe I'll stop that now.
To the nitty-gritty: Every year there's some situation or another and frequently more than one different situation with me getting my yard in shape for the spring and summer. I love having a well cared for yard. I don't like to waste resources keeping a lawn of grass going, so I keep the grass to a minimum and water it as little as possible. I like to keep my trees trimmed and taken care of. Because I work at my fulltime job often over 50 hours a week and also still try to keep my perpetually nonprofit (and not by designation) alt health biz going in a loving and nurturing way, I don't have a lot of extra time for the lawn.
With ex hubby out of the picture (though he used to help some with house and yard stuff for quite some time after the divorce which I eternally appreciate) and my son busy with his own career, and other family members who could potentially be of help living 40 miles away with lives of their own, I either need to do the yard myself or contract with someone else to do it.
Once again this year, I thought I'd found just the right person. He came highly recommended, and I've got a nice electric mower now. He had lots of knowledge about trees and about horticulture. I was able to talk to him about my views of ecosystems and my wish to never have herbicides and/or insecticides used anywhere on my property. This stopped him from bringing ROUNDUP (full of horrid stinky deadly toxins) with him on the first day. He was kind about respecting my wish concerning toxins. That was excellent.
He worked really really hard the first day. I was impressed. He charged a nominal amount for 3+ hours that day. I was pleased.
The yard needs lots of TLC when a really decent person first gets started on it for the season. I do what I can before I find someone, but didn't have time to do a lot this year unfortunately.
He got most of the trees trimmed and the rest of the lawn mowed the second day. I was pleased, and told him he was a "lawn healer" which seemed to please him.
The third day I was very tired, and needed to take a nap. I paid him cash in advance for the prior days plus that day so I could get some uninterrupted rest.
He was planning to work a few more hours then clean up and call it a day.
When I woke up from my nap the yard did not reveal that anything had been accomplished once I paid him the cash including the few hours in advance.
I tried first looking at it in a meditative way. I cried briefly. That's because I'm an emotional gal sometimes.
Besides, my acupuncturist says crying is good, it lets out the sadness.
I spent the few lovely hours I spend most afternoons at my office, still processing what had happened.
I talked briefly (vented) about the situation with a few friends. All said this: never ever pay someone in advance. Even the best of us are tempted to take advantage of such a situation.
I moved through the sense of sadness and betrayal and into anger. That didn't last long fortunately.
The lawn guy was supposed to call me at 3pm but did not do so. He quietly slipped into the yard and picked up his weedwhacker yesterday.
Communications were clearly broken down; my phone wouldn't work as some water had gotten on it Friday morning. The mutual friend who had recommended the lawn guy to me mumbled something about there not being enough places for the lawn guy to dump the branches and piles of refuse so he left them in piles. He could have asked me. I was right inside the house.
In the scheme of things and compared to the terrifying situations happening on our earth, my life situations pale in comparison. I know that. But we have to have peace in our own lives and balance too, in order to be available energetically to help in the world where needed!
I see my part in the situation...being too tired from all my working to communicate clearly what I wanted to have done in my yard, and what completion of the job would look like. And I should have held on to the payment money until the job was done.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
Add to that a tense family situation that will hopefully be resolved soon, and issues regarding the American insurance industry, (this week it's home insurance) and what I perceive as a clear lack of ethics on my provider's part that he will not take responsibility for or do anything about.
Some things we cannot change. Is insurance one of them?
If enough people found a powerful way to protest, surely change could be brought about.
Time for me to go to a little family gathering right now.
Thanks for listening.
Think I'll balance my chakras with my cool chakra balancing tool before I go.
Grateful to have such tools right now.
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