Blog: Je Rêve de Toi
by JeSuisButterfly

NEED ADVICE, ..please

Thanks to everyone who is reading this!! I LOVE YOU!! [and even those who aren't, of course!]

Date:   2/16/2006 1:15:49 PM   ( 14 y ) ... viewed 2447 times

**First off, I wrote back to those who gave me comments on the right-hand side of this page. Thank you all so much!!**

The words are all jumbled in my head. I had an idea of how I was going to lay this out, but it tumbled and crashed.

My train of thought de-railed. [Copywrite Ika 2004].

I guess I'll just put out my raw emotions. It's embarrassing for me to admit them, but I know I have before - I just don't wish to face them.

I emotionally eat. It's a habit I've had for years. I've struggled with 'anorexia, bulimia,' and compulsive eating. Are they really those dis-eases? Or just names for 'low self-esteem'?

When I stop eating, I find I'm able to go for days without food.. Nono praises me as a 'natural faster'. But the challenge is actually STOPPING the eating. In the past, I always start a fast, but then break it later in the day because I cannot face my emotions - I find the need to stuff myself ill with food to hush their voices.

Last night Nono had to hold me down because I was practically screaming for food, even though I was beyond full, because I couldn't deal with my emotions. I hit myself physically, over and over, because I was so upset at myself.

I need to stop eating. My intestines have been painfully swollen for 6 days. I'm sure the pain AND swelling would reduce if I just stopped eating, but I'm too afraid to. I eat until I am STUFFED.. until it hurts so bad I have to lay down.

.. if anyone could give me advice on how to banish emotional eating forever, I'd really appreciate it.

Also, one more thing -
I was told I have microfissures in my intestines, as well as Candida - that fasting would help tremendously.

I also have a massive parasitical infestation, but Colonix or other parasite cleanses as such are too rough on my intestines.

Am I supposed to fast AFTER a parasite cleanse? And what Parasite cleanse should I do, then, and for how long?

Confused, tired.. and extremely full. Actually, I feel a bit nauseous. Like I've swallowed broken glass.

Anyway, here's some pictures of my progress so far -
This was me before

This is me now - [Please, no laughing!]

That's the only one I'm willing to share so far.

I plan to look back on these blog entries with the new me!! [Or maybe I should just continue forward!]


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Comments (20 of 210):
Re: Your True Inne… edule… 5 y
Dance!! Dear Lady… kermi… 14 y
Silence and Solitu… YourE… 14 y
Wise #48222 14 y
good luck cheezerman 14 y
blessings finallyfaith 14 y
don't go ren 14 y
Re: Your friends w… JeSui… 14 y
Re: Your friends w… white… 14 y
Re: Your friends w… JeSui… 14 y
Your friends were … white… 14 y
Re: Make it real? JeSuisB… 14 y
Re: healing crises… JeSui… 14 y
healing crises on … #6043… 14 y
Make it real? #58095 14 y
Re: Stop and think… kermi… 14 y
Re: Stop and think… JeSui… 14 y
Re: Listening to y… JeSui… 14 y
Re: are you lost? JeSuisB… 14 y
Re: so sad JeSuisButterfl… 14 y
All Comments (210)

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