Fever strikes/more unsettling details brought to surface!
when a woman becomes a screaming insect
Date: 9/17/2006 2:06:27 AM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1554 times
I've been feverish and out of it all day. Got to the center just in time for a brief healing before they closed. My lungs are burning. I still need a job. My brain feels warped though I seem to be publicly pulling it off anyhow. I hope to put the job hunt in high gear and that I wake up feeling healthier. I feel like a raging bronchial thing is on its way. Re: plans, I want God to just work through me anyhow, even if it burns and feels like being shredded while I walk through deeply imbedded clumps of fear. I am willing to work hard but have no clue what I'm doing. I intend to waitress, but I don't know if that's what's gonna happen. My current living/roomate situation feels increasingly intolerable, though I've lived through worse. something will change internally and I won't mind it, or I will somehow manage to get the hell out. I had a frightening moment in which I got so severely angry over a build up of minor 'situations' with one being the cherry on top, I felt like I turned into a twitching, screeching insect. I may have blacked out for a second before melodramatically hurling my writhing body to the floor. The feeling of being trapped is the worst...
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