Blog: Breaking free from chains of my past
by gotcha862003

A pastor visited me today

If I rise out of this crisis a changed gal, I will be God's testimony of miracles.
When I have conquered all, I can fulfil my promises to God to heal all the sick who seek me. A healer, teacher and servant of God.
From the moment I accept God and walk in earnest faith, I am re-born.
A God's child.

Date:   10/13/2006 11:56:37 AM   ( 15 y ) ... viewed 1386 times

Isaiah 57

57:1 The godly 1 perish,

but no one cares. 2

Honest people disappear, 3

when no one 4 minds 5

that the godly 6 disappear 7 because of 8 evil. 9

57:2 Those who live uprightly enter a place of peace;

they rest on their beds. 10

57:3 But approach, you sons of omen readers,

you offspring of adulteresses and prostitutes! 11

57:4 At whom are you laughing?

At whom are you opening your mouth

and sticking out your tongue?

You are the children of rebels,

the offspring of liars, 12

57:5 you who practice ritual sex 13 under the oaks and every green tree,

who slaughter children near the streams under the rocky overhangs. 14

57:6 Among the smooth stones of the stream are the idols you love;

they, they are the object of your devotion. 15

You pour out liquid offerings to them,

you make an offering.

Because of these things I will seek vengeance. 16

57:7 On every high, elevated hill you prepare your bed;

you go up there to offer sacrifices.

57:8 Behind the door and doorpost you put your symbols. 17

Indeed, 18 you depart from me 19 and go up

and invite them into bed with you. 20

You purchase favors from them, 21

you love their bed,

and gaze longingly 22 on their genitals. 23

57:9 You take olive oil as tribute 24 to your king, 25

along with many perfumes. 26

You send your messengers to a distant place;

you go all the way to Sheol. 27

57:10 Because of the long distance you must travel, you get tired, 28

but you do not say, ‘I give up.’ 29

You get renewed energy, 30

so you don’t collapse. 31

57:11 Whom are you worried about?

Whom do you fear, that you would act so deceitfully

and not remember me

or think about me? 32

Because I have been silent for so long, 33

you are not afraid of me. 34

57:12 I will denounce your so-called righteousness and your deeds, 35

but they will not help you.

57:13 When you cry out for help, let your idols 36 help you!

The wind blows them all away, 37

a breeze carries them away. 38

But the one who looks to me for help 39 will inherit the land

and will have access to 40 my holy mountain.”

57:14 He says, 41

“Build it! Build it! Clear a way!

Remove all the obstacles out of the way of my people!”

57:15 For this is what the high and exalted one says,

the one who rules 42 forever, whose name is holy:

“I dwell in an exalted and holy place,

but also with the discouraged and humiliated, 43

in order to cheer up the humiliated

and to encourage the discouraged. 44

57:16 For I will not be hostile 45 forever

or perpetually angry,

for then man’s spirit would grow faint before me, 46

the life-giving breath I created.

57:17 I was angry because of their sinful greed;

I attacked them and angrily rejected them, 47

yet they remained disobedient and stubborn. 48

57:18 I have seen their behavior, 49

but I will heal them and give them rest,

and I will once again console those who mourn. 50

57:19 I am the one who gives them reason to celebrate. 51

Complete prosperity 52 is available both to those who are far away and those who are nearby,”

says the Lord, “and I will heal them.

57:20 But the wicked are like a surging sea

that is unable to be quiet;

its waves toss up mud and sand.

57:21 There will be no prosperity,” says my God, “for the wicked.”

Luke 7:1-17 When He had completed all His discourse in the hearing of the people, He went to Capernaum. 2 And a certain centurion’s slave, who was highly regarded by him, was sick and about to die. 3 And when he heard about Jesus, he sent some Jewish elders asking Him to come and save the life of his slave. 4 And when they had come to Jesus, they earnestly entreated Him, saying, “He is worthy for You to grant this to him; 5 for he loves our nation, and it was he who built us our synagogue.” 6 Now Jesus started on His way with them; and when He was already not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to Him, “Lord, do not trouble Yourself further, for I am not worthy for You to come under my roof; 7 for this reason I did not even consider myself worthy to come to You, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 8 “For I, too, am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it.” 9 Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled at him, and turned and said to the multitude that was following Him, “I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such great faith.” 10 And when those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the slave in good health.

11 And it came about soon afterwards, that He went to a city called Nain; and His disciples were going along with Him, accompanied by a large multitude. 12 Now as He approached the gate of the city, behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow; and a sizable crowd from the city was with her. 13 And when the Lord saw her, He felt compassion for her, and said to her, “Do not weep.” 14 And He came up and touched the coffin; and the bearers came to a halt. And He said, “Young man, I say to you, arise!” 15 And the dead man sat up, and began to speak. And Jesus gave him back to his mother. 16 And fear gripped them all, and they began glorifying God, saying, “A great prophet has arisen among us!” and, “God has visited His people!” 17 And this report concerning Him went out all over Judea, and in all the surrounding district.

Matthew 8:5-13 And when He had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, entreating Him, 6 and saying, “Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, suffering great pain.” 7 And He said to him, “I will come and heal him.” 8 But the centurion answered and said, “Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9 “For I, too, am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it.” 10 Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled, and said to those who were following, “Truly I say to you, I have not found such great faith with anyone in Israel. 11 “And I say to you, that many shall come from east and west, and recline at the table with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven; 12 but the sons of the kingdom shall be cast out into the outer darkness; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” 13 And Jesus said to the centurion, “Go your way; let it be done to you as you have believed.” And the servant was healed that very hour.

A pastor came to my house this evening to counsel and pray for me. My aunt must have found out from my mum about my pains and summoned her husband and Pastor Jaffa from Lighthouse ministry to see me in person. Thank you Lord, for bringing your messenger to me when I fail to go to you. You have recharged me.

Pastor Jaffa was a devout Paskistani muslim who converted after receiving the gospel from a friend. He admitted his hunger for the word led to his conversion. He was faced with a period of serious medical problems, but when he prayed from his heart, they all went away. He converted his gf who incidentally, was a pious Buddhist chinese. Despite the resistance and abandonment of his family, he believes in forgiving even his "enemies" and is completely at peace with God--not a flicker of anger. I was stunned.

How can one forgive foolishness, evil or ignorance? This is an issue I keep wrestling with.

After hearing my anguished re-account of my history for the unteempth time, he identified several outstanding issues that I was unwilling to let go of:
1. latent resentment towards my parents
2. depression from the amassed misery from a child
3. found it impossible to forgive my enemies because I was a one-minded justice-seeker
4. didn't trust God enough
5. didn't seek God enough
6. worry a lot
7. wasn't loved enough

Many of these thoughts were Satanic works of the devil, ploughing harder and inventing shrewder ways to thwart God's plan for my recovery and salvation.

Pastor Jaffa suggested to reverse all of these knots and invited me to his ministry next Saturday. I hope to attend.

After his departure, I thanked God for sending me a messenger. It showed me someone cared, that I was precious enough to be worth someone's time and energy. It showed me that God still cared and was not willing to give up on me. He brought me hope. He brought me wisdom. He brought me his love.


If I rise out of this crisis a changed gal, I will be God's testimony of miracles.
When I have conquered all, I can fulfil my promises to God to heal all the sick who seek me. A healer, teacher and servant of God.
From the moment I accept God and walk in earnest faith, I am re-born.
A God's child.

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